8

Jane walked into her office with a sullen look on her face. Her eyes were red and her hair was in a messy and unintentionally kinda cute updo which added to the whole chilled Wednesday look. she really didn't have it in her to try and look cute when she was feeling like her heart was burning every time she took a breath.

She just returned from a meeting that was unscheduled and got informed that she has been chosen to take over the interior designing of one of their newest hotels. Just great! Not like she didn't enjoy her job as a designer, but she absolutely hates last minute information especially since she can't back out now.

She had just gotten off the phone with a few suppliers when her office door opened to reveal her assistant, but what made her stand to her feet was the person behind her.

She had to hold onto the table because she got a little dizzy from standing too fast but plastered a fake smile to her secretary that reassured her it's okay to leave them alone. Once she was gone she faced him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd make a turn," he said, closing the door behind him. She straightened her body and folded her arms around herself to try and stand still.

"You don't just make turns. What are you doing here, Nate?" She asked again. He had no right showing up to the place she worked at even if she didn't own the place. It won't do her good to see him right now.

He put his hands in his pockets and came to stand in front of her, his eyes searching for any sign of unwellness. He thought he saw a couple. "I was called to come to the building, something about a blueprint. I was asked to come double check. You know all that crazy boring stuff."

"Well, not to be rude or anything but I'm kinda busy so, please see yourself out," she said, sitting down. She focused on breathing slowly, slow in and fast out, just like her doctor told her.

"I was hoping we could talk."

"And I believe we just did."

"You know what I mean, Jane," he insisted. She looked up at him sharply, her nostrils flaring.

"Do I? Do I really? Because last time I checked, I'm not the one that you turn to when you need to talk. I'm apparently the one that doesn't appreciate you enough and therefore you turn to other people. I'm always last to know that I treat you like, what was it she said, dirt beneath my shoe? So please, tell me, what do I know?" she asked, trying to control her voice. The last thing she needed was a nosy crowd of colleagues outside her office door.

"I admit I made a big mistake, but I'm trying to work past that," he said, sounding as though he was pleading for a second chance to her.

"You know, I just want to know what it was that made you do that? Why was it her you turned to? Had you have gone and done that with some professional prostitute or someone else, it wouldn't have stung as badly," she confessed, feeling exhausted and done with the day already.

"I know," he sighed, not knowing what else to say to make her believe he really was sorry for ever hurting her.

Jane on the other hand recalled everything that made her wonder where she went wrong. "Was it the sex? W-was I that terrible in bed? It's the sex wasn't it? Why else would you have slept with her four times. Or maybe even more," She asked him but seemed to be fighting with her thoughts instead as she started rubbing her temple.

He reached closer to her and crouched down. He took her hand in his and thought she'd pull away but she didn't. that gave him a little hope. Looking into her red eyes, he spoke softly.

"It's not the sex. You're amazing at everything you do and you don't need to blame yourself. It's me, it's all me. I'm the messed up one that doesn't know how to treat you like the gem you are."

"I stayed for you," she said and saw the way his eyes got bigger in confusion. "Those overseas job offers that always come in. The ones I successfully hid and the others which you find out about anyway. It was you I decline them for. And now that I want to succeed in the place I'm at, I'm called jealous and competitive? How do you think I feel?" She asked rhetorically.

"Hush baby, I know you're doing your best and I couldn't be more proud of you. It's me that doesn't deserve you. I'm the one that should appreciate you more and more each day. It's me that messed up and for that I'm truly sorry. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you that shows you how deeply sorry I am and how much I regret ever being with someone else. I'm the stupid one. I'm foolish. I'm the coward that was scared of loving you too much," he said, wiping her tears away as she hiccuped.

"Was I never there for you?" she cried, looking right into his eyes. His heart broke even more when he saw fresh, hot tears run down her face again, not giving signs of stopping anytime soon.

"Did I drive you into cheating?" She asked, trembling when he held her close to his chest. He felt tears collect in his eyes as she broke down in his arms, her hands clutching onto his shirt as she cried her hurt out. He couldn't hold back any more and for the first time in such a long time, he also let his feelings out as tears ran down his face.

"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again, hoping that that would take away the pain he's caused her.

-flashback-

They were talking back at the office when she went limp and almost hit the ground if it wasn't for his arms being around her already. He picked her up bridal style and carried her to the couch, taking in her pale face and blue eyelids, her lips a darker color, almost purple.

"What's wrong, are you sick or something?" He asked in a panic as he laid her on the couch in her office. He quickly went to dial the ambulance but she put her hand on his arm to stop him.

"Forget it, it's not that big of a deal."

"But you aren't well feeling well. We need to get you checked out," he arguably replied.

"I said I'm fine," she snapped, not liking how he cared for her. Not liking how she liked how he cared for her.

"Fine, but you're going home. It's three hours till knock off and you don't look like you'll last another minute here," he said as he examined her before adding, "no offence."

"None taken. And it's not a problem, it happens sometimes. I'm fine, really."

"What's wrong with you then? Are you sick?" He asked again. He just hoped that she wasn't seriously sick which could be fatal.

"I'm pregnant with your child," she wanted to say but looked away instead. She just shook her head and shrug before telling him that she wanted to go home.

---

"You just lay down, I'll find you something to drink," he said as he tucked her in into her covers. She tried to tell him that she was fine and that it was a simple headache but he wasn't having any of it. He too was exhausted but not nearly as much as she was. After not getting an answer from her about what was really wrong, he excused it as her being depressed lately. The actual reason for her fatigue hadn't even crossed his mind.

He walked to her bathroom to get her some pills for the headache she claimed to have and her eyes grew worried when he opened the bathroom door and she felt like her whole world was spinning.

"Nate!" She couldn't have him go in there because she didn't discard the pregnancy test she took this morning again with the hopes that she still had it in her. That she hadn't lost it yet. Only after this morning did she come to the realisation that she was indeed carrying a clump of cells inside her stomach. Only then did she decide to keep it and acknowledge it. Before then, she just wanted it because it was the humane thing to do. But now after almost losing it, she was determined to keep it safe.

"What's the matter?" He asked, coming to stand next to her.

"I just remembered the medication is in the kitchen," she said and he turned without a word in search of it. She took that opportunity to run to the bathroom and discard the test into the dustbin, hoping he'll have no reason to look in there.