6.

She tried to squeeze her eyes shut in hopes of the sound going away but it persisted. She groaned and reached for her phone from the drawer next to her bed, checking the time. 09:00.

She cursed whoever it was waking her up so early on her day off. She angrily flipped the covers off of her and slipped into her robe and fluffy plush shoes. She slammed her bedroom door shut behind her and carefully descended the stairs.

The knocking didn't stop and she hoped that the person behind the door was either on fire or they were close to death. There was no in-between.

She pulled her living room door open and froze in place. Her breathing hitched as his eyes raised to meet her in a very intense hold, his cologne and aftershave hitting her senses and making her nauseous. It used to make her feel all fussy. Now it was just sending a bile taste up her throat.

She noticed that there were no more butterflies in her belly. She was sure that the last time she saw him, she still felt them despite the betrayal. A zoo that would usually awaken at the mere sight of him but all the animals died that night.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and found her voice again. "What are you doing here?" It came out as a whisper but he heard her.

It was like a lamp was switched on at the sight of her. He has been gone long dark days and nights without her by his side that it tormented him painfully to not wake up to her face or not be able to call her when he got out of a long meeting.

He realised his mistake and he was ready to pay his dues if she'll let him. And even if she wouldn't, he'd stop at nothing to give her the love she rightfully deserves.

"I, uh, can we talk?" he asked, his voice coming out rough and scratchy. He coughed to clear his throat as he waited for a reply.

She shook her head, her hand on the doorknob ready to shut him out of her life forever. "I'm busy."

"I won't take up too much of your time," he said quickly, knowing that if he doesn't speak to her now, he might not have another chance as private as this.

Her heart hurt at the sight of his eyes shining with hope. Did he want us together like I do? She wondered but the thought left sooner than it came when another meaner voice filled her head.

You're so weak! One look at him and you're already thinking of defending his actions? You're so pathetic.

"Nathaniel, please go." She had been weak long enough and he took advantage of that. She would hate herself for landing right into his palm again.

"I swear to you I'll leave you alone after you hear me out," he pleaded with her, his heart racing so fast he felt a sharp pain in his chest but ignored it.

"Fine, five minutes," she shrugged as she locked her eyes with his and folded her arms across her chest.

Guard thine heart above all else.

"You mind if we sat down?" He asked. He wanted to talk to her when they were both comfortable and ready to hear each other out, or she at least.

"First you broke my heart and now you want me to let you into my home? You're asking for too much," she snapped. "Your time is ticking by the way."

"Okay, listen. I have no excuse whatsoever to save my ass for doing what I did. I will admit it was a foul move on my part and that I should never have slept with her," he confessed but she just scoffed and stared at the growing stubble. She was afraid of giving in too soon if she stared in his eyes. It had been her weakness from day one.

"I understand the reason for your anger towards us and I'm not asking you to forgive me just yet," she shot him a glare, "or ever," he added, "but I'll be selfish enough and let you know that I don't want to lose you or let you go. I'm crazily in love with you and I realised that a lot late but I promise I'll work on myself and us if you'll have me back." He was breathing hard by the time he had finished.

"Do you still talk to her?" she asked, wanting to know if they still communicate and if so, why?

"Yes, she contacts me telling me about how far she got trying to apologise to you."

"Thought so," she said with a heavy sigh. "Delete her number then."

He didn't hesitate to answer. "I'll do that."

"Now."

"Right now?" he asked, baffled.

"You got a problem with it?" she raised an eyebrow in question.

He quickly reached for his phone in his pocket and handed it to her. At that moment he received a text from her but he didn't bother asking to reply to it so she took the liberty of doing so for him.

09:20, (501)-744: I'm in love with you. And it hurts to see you see her as the only one you want.

Her jaw dropped at Nadia's text and felt her jaw clenching. She scrolled up their previous chats and heard him speak but she put her hand up to silence him.

16:47, (501)-744: why can't you realise that she isn't the one for you?

17:19, (501)-744: Nate?

17:36, (501)-744: Nathaniel?

17:50, (501)-744: I'm pregnant

17:51, Me: No you're not.

17:52, (501)-744: so that's what you're gonna reply to?

19:07, (501)-744: Why are you ignoring me?

19:10, Me: I'm not ignoring you. I'm just choosing not to reply to your texts.

19:10, (501)-744: I'm hurting just as much if not more.

19:33, (501)-744: I lost a friend too. You're being very insensitive right now

20:30, Me: what do you have against her?

20:32, (501)-744: she stole you from me. It's not like she didn't know that either. She doesn't deserve you and you are just settling for less if you pick her.

20:35, Me: you have to have something in order for it to be stolen from you. And quite frankly, I was never yours to begin with.

20:38, Me: also, I'm not a voiceless parcel you can appoint an owner for so just stop with your behaviour. And seriously, you think bad-mouthing her will make you more attractive? Try being someone of character, someone with a passion for what they love, someone with love for others and someone who doesn't see other's accomplishments as a threat to their own. Maybe then you'll be happy.

20:42, Me: And just know that I'd gladly 'settle for less' if that means I get to be with Jane every day of my life. Oh, which you have successfully ruined... so thanks a lot, too, yeah? She seriously needs a better friend and I need to start being better to her, give her a better life and a better reason for living. oh, incase you haven't realised -due to your impoverished brain- she's the better I speak of.

20:46, (501)-744: you can't deny that WE had a connection that she broke when she came into the picture. If you're looking for someone to blame, it's HER!

22:00, Me: yeahhhh riiight...

She bit back her laughter and masked it with a cough before quickly blocking and deleting all her numbers, social medias and email address from his phone. If she couldn't have him, why should she? Plus, he was sure he didn't know her number from his head. She had to teach him hers every night for a month like a 7 year old in case of emergencies. So, yes, she was darn sure he didn't have Nadia's memorised.

"I was serious about what I said Jane," he said, lightly touching the side of her face with his index finger before pulling his hand away and putting his hands in his pockets. He almost forgot where they were or what brought them to it in the first place.

"Have a nice life," she said before closing and locking her door in his face as quickly as she could. She didn't want to wait for a reply from him because she knew she'd forgive him and that's something she couldn't bring herself to do.

"Jane, please," she heard him call out countlessly but she shook her head, silent tears falling down her face as she slowing trailed down the door until she sat leaning against it. She imagined him doing the same on the other side of the wooden barrier.

"Please." She heard him call out in a whisper once again in a teary and broken voice. Her heart's strings tugged at the thought of seeing and hearing him crying and she broke down in silent tears.

***

"When does it all end? I want this to come to an end. This pain, suffering, life, everything."

"It takes time. It depends on you how much time you need to heal. You love too much and fall too hard but that's okay because the right guy is going to catch you soon and graciously, too. This is just an obstacle you need to jump over," her mom said as she smoothed her daughter's unconditioned hair.

"Mama, I've been heartbroken before but not to the point where I feel the way I do right now. I should be resentful towards him. I should want revenge, I should never want to see him again, I should hate him," she bellowed out. Tears mixed with mucus and she blew it out with a Kleenex, tossing it aside to the hundreds of used soft tissue paper by her feet.

"Honey, I understand where you're coming from. Your dad did the exact same thing, remember?" her mom asked and she nodded.

It was a painful part of her memory but her fate isn't like her parents'. Unlike them, she and Nate won't get to reconcile and live to have more kids and a happily ever after life.

Kids. That's what she hasn't told him yet. How will she even tell him? Is it selfish of her if she has her own kid and not inform him about it? Will he even want to have kids with her? Could she learn to trust him enough to be a faithful father to not just her but their kids? All these thoughts and feelings added to the pressure she was under and she felt the smaller pieces of her heart break into finer sediments.

"Mom!" she called out, gripping onto her mother's dress as she cried out louder than before. She cried for the boyfriend she couldn't get back and the future that is no longer promised. She cried until she felt a sharp, long pain in her stomach. She wasn't that far along but she instantly knew something was wrong with the baby.

"I can't lose you. Please, please, not you too," she prayed, sitting on her knees and clutching onto her stomach as hot tears ran down her face. Her mother was frantically yelling into the phone for an ambulance and she didn't know if it ever came because her world turned black.