11

11

We arrived at Margot's, a girl in my class who is celebrating her eighteenth birthday. She lived in a big house, from which quite a few young people came and went. Most of which I had never seen. The weather was still good for the season so there were a lot of people outside in the garden. I already feel like I'm going to have fun!

Margot only invited me because she invited Mathilde. Out of politeness. Or out of pity, I don't know. As I have no friends, I stayed with Mathilde and her friends. I was like a little dog following her everywhere. But I wanted to show that I was sociable and that the weird girl in class who only spoke when asked a question would come out every once in a while. Well, just a minimum. You shouldn't exaggerate.

I had only been there an hour and I had already had enough. Too many people, too much music. I looked at my cell phone and saw a message from Flo.

'I'm at a party too and I'm bored. I can come ? '

' I'm bored too. I don't know anyone and there are too many people…'

A few seconds after sending my message, I left Margot's since Flo was calling me and it was impossible to talk inside the house.

- Is your evening at home?

- No, it's behind the school, why?

- Where is it exactly ?

Why does he want to know that? He's still not coming, is he? No. He said he was at a party, so that's okay. I answered him anyway despite my fear that he might show up at Margot's.

- Right next to the park.

- OK. Wait for me at the park. I'm coming in twenty minutes!

- What ? No no I...

He had hung up before hearing my answer. I was therefore mistaken and it will arrive in no time.

I had been waiting on a bench in the park for two or three minutes when I saw him arrive, a big smile on his face. He sat down and kissed me quickly.

- You didn't have to come you know, I tell him immediately.

- Do you want me to leave?

- Nope. That's not what i meant. You were at a party, you shouldn't have been disturbed to come here.

- It was them over there who bothered me, he smiled at me. I'd rather be with you, he said, kissing me on the cheek. Are you staying the night at your friend's house?

He settled down, one leg on either side of the bench to watch me, but I continued to stare at the children's games that were in front of me.

- Yeah… I feel it's going to be long, I sighed.

- Come and sleep at my house then, he offered me bluntly.

- Nope.

- Always so direct, he laughed. Why no ?

I turned to him.

- Because I'm invited and it's not happening.

- You just have to say that you weren't feeling well or something. You told me you were pissing off and you didn't know anyone.

- So what ?

- You're even more bored with me actually, right?

He asked me this question with a frown and I think I hurt him but I don't want to sleep at his place. I know what someone like him must have in mind when making such a proposal.

- It's not that.

- What is it then ? he insisted.

- I… If I tell you, you'll run away, I confessed, watching my hands.

He approached me and put his hand on mine.

- I won't run away, no matter what. But if you don't want to, that's okay. We can stay here and talk.

I looked at him and he smiled at me as if to reassure me.

If I'm going out with him, I'll have to tell him one day, and the sooner the better. We've only been together a few hours so I'm going to tell him now, so he knows what to expect from the start. I'm not going to let him hope unnecessarily. I took a deep breath and looked up into his blue eyes.

- I never had a boyfriend and no one had ever kissed me. I had never even held anyone's hand before you. So I'll let you easily guess the rest.

- I see, he said with a small smile. I kinda suspected that was why you didn't want to. What if I promise you we'll just sleep?

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

- You do not understand. I'm not telling you this just for today. We're together but right now I don't want anything more. It's already a lot for me right now and I don't want more.

He forced me to look at him, bringing my face up to his.

- I will never force you. If you need time, you will have it. I'll wait, don't worry about it. I promis you.

- I suspect that you won't force me to do anything. You'd rather just leave after waiting too long. Because you will have to wait a while.

- I'll wait.

- How long ?

I asked him this absurd question when I myself could not answer him.

- As long as it takes.

He sounded sincere. During the entire conversation, I hadn't taken my eyes off him. And neither does he. After what felt like hours, I looked down at my hands. Finally, our hands since he had just intertwined our fingers. I felt he was still watching me. He was waiting for my answer. Even though what he said sounded like the truth, I was afraid to trust him. Why would a guy like him wait for me? I would like to know. What if I never wanted? How long would it last? Not many, I'm sure. But never mind, I'll see where it takes me.

- Alright, I just tell him.

In response, he put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. Gently at first, then I felt his tongue on my bottom lip. I was a little surprised at the time but I opened my mouth to welcome him and follow his movement. One of his hands caressed my cheek with his thumb, the other was resting on my thigh. For my part, I knew what to do with mine so I left them where they were, that is to say, on my thighs.

It's weird to say this so soon, but every time his skin touches mine, every time he's near me, it's like I forget who I used to be. As if everything was erased. As if I was an ordinary girl who had a boyfriend. As if I was normal.

I wanted this moment to freeze in time and never end, but he interrupted this magical moment and pulled away from me to look into my eyes for a few seconds. He pressed his forehead to mine and his lips were still very close to mine. I could feel his warm breath on my mouth before he hugged me.

It was difficult but I managed to convince her.

Considering the way she acts with me, it doesn't surprise me that she has never had a boyfriend and as I told her, I will wait. As long as she wants. It's never happened to me to have to wait, but for her, it's different. I already got attached to her so I don't want to hurt her. I don't want her to suffer more than she has already suffered.

After a few minutes spent chatting, Jess went back to her friend's house to get her things and we walked home. The ride was quiet and it didn't bother me. I was holding his hand, we were both together, it wasn't too cold and I was happy. Quite simply. I feel like since I've been with her, I'm different. Even Thibault told me. He noticed something was up, so I think I'll have to talk to him real soon.

When I got home, I took her things and took them to my room. When I returned to the living room, she was looking around her.

- Do you live alone?

- Yeah. Sometimes there's my cousin who spends a few days at my house when he's having trouble with my uncle, or my best friend when he's getting bored at home.

-OK.

I gave him a quick tour of the apartment and since I was hungry, I cooked some pasta. Usually I cook but now I didn't feel like doing anything.

- You're always hungry, she noticed amused.

- It is not my fault. I have to feed my muscles, I smile at him.