03

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- I understand, he smiles at me.

Every time this guy opens his mouth to say something, he always has the same beautiful smile, and looks at me with the same intense gaze. How does he do?

- You are in high school ?

I lifted my head and looked at him questioningly.

- I'm asking you that because you only come at lunchtime, you're on foot and your bag looks like a school bag.

Noticing my silence, he adds with a laugh:

- I don't want to scare you. It's only a few small details that I noticed about you. Nothing more.

- Some details ? It's starting to do a lot, isn't it?

- Maybe a little, I grant you. But I really want to know more about you. To know you a little more, and as obviously you don't want to tell me anything, I try to guess for myself. Would you like to go out one evening? Or an afternoon, as you wish.

While I was thinking of a way to gently decline his invitation despite his beautiful eyes, he continued:

- And don't fail me like last time, please, because it really hurt me! he laughs. Just once. And if you don't want us to talk anymore, I won't bother you anymore. I promis you.

Aaah! How can you say no to that sublime smile! It's not in my character to react like that. Normally, I would have said no without asking myself any questions, but now I don't want to. Why don't I change my habits a little for once? Just an exception to the rules I imposed on myself, can't hurt me, can it?

- I do not know. I'll think about it, I say, lowering my head to my cup.

- Think quickly because I'm coming to pick you up tomorrow, he answered with a certainty that I will never have.

- And how are you going to do it? You don't even know where I live.

- Give me your phone, he ordered, smiling and holding out his hand above the table.

- Why would I give you my phone?

I looked at him surprised, and smiled at him. If he thought I was going to pass him my cell phone, he was really naive!

- Go ! I just want to register my number, I don't want to steal it from you, he laughed.

I love his laugh, and I don't like the changes it makes in me. I don't know him at all, but I already appreciate his presence. A lot, even. Maybe a little too much… His smile attracts me and his gaze hypnotizes me irreparably. He looked nice – even though it was surely cinema – and I think I'll agree to see him, just once. I will see what it will give.

I envied him for being so sure of himself, but at the same time, he had something. His smile was to wreak havoc and his bright gaze was to help him a lot.

I started rummaging through my bag and I could already see a smile on the corner of his mouth.

- Thank you, he said, taking my phone, a satisfied smile hanging on his lips.

He gave it back to me after a few seconds, got up to pay for the coffees and came back to my table.

- I'm waiting for your message. Tomorrow I hope.

He sounded sincere, and I found that rather strange. I was watching him leave when my phone rang. It was a message from Mathilde asking me where I was. Fourteen sixteen! Great, I was a quarter of an hour late.

- What were you doing ? Mathilde asked me when I sat down next to her on arriving in the classroom.

- I was at the cafe, I didn't pay attention to the time. Thanks.

- You owe me a coffee!

- No problem.

I took out my things and discreetly looked at my laptop under my table. I entered my contact list, which I scrolled through to the prettiest F: Flo. Misunderstood poet, in addition to being incredibly narcissistic and pretentious!

She finally came back today. So I hadn't come for nothing and I knew now that she wasn't avoiding me. Well, for now.

I haven't learned much about her, but I think I'm coming off as a psychopath. I don't even know why I'm so stubborn to see her again when I feel like she wants to stay as far away from me as possible. However, I can't help it, it's stronger than me.

From the way she reacted to my question, I knew she was in high school. I just hoped it wasn't his first year. If so, I'll have to quit. I wasn't going to flirt and go out with a fifteen-year-old girl… No. I think she's eighteen or nineteen. She had to repeat. And then she saw that I wasn't old enough to go to high school, I don't look that young, do I? I sincerely hope I'm right about her age, because I really want to see her again, and not just once. But that's only if she accepts, of course, and I think it's far from won.

Jessica a quelque chose dans le regard qui me fascine, et en même temps qui est étrange. Elle a l'air triste, et renfermée sur elle. Je me demande pourquoi. Elle a quelque chose de spécial. Je ne sais pas quoi, mais j'aimerais vraiment le découvrir.

Elle est simple, mais vraiment belle en même temps. Elle ne se maquille pas, elle laisse ses longs cheveux bruns libres de leur mouvement, et elle s'habille simplement. J'ai l'impression qu'elle cherche à ne pas se faire remarquer des autres. Je pense d'ailleurs que c'est pour ça qu'elle a choisit la table tout au fond, au café, celle qui est la plus éloignée. C'est peut-être pour cela que je l'ai remarquée, moi.

When I left the café, I was pleased with myself. I had confused her but I had gotten what I wanted. She had my number, and I just had to wait for a message from her. I just hope that I will receive one soon, even if however, I am not too hopeful...

As I drove off, I saw him running out of the cafe. What does she have ? Does he already miss me? I looked at the time and saw that it was after two o'clock. Because of me, she must have been late. And damn it, I'm there too! I was really an idiot to believe that she was running to join me. Anything…

It's only been two days but I have a feeling this girl is going to drive me crazy!

- Hey! You come home very late tonight!

- Cam! I huffed. What are you doing in front of my house?

- I missed you my darling, and then you did not answer my messages.

Camille is my current girlfriend. Besides, she starts to get me drunk coming to my house as soon as she pisses herself off. I just got back from my day job and she's waiting to take my head.5

- At that time, I was glad you didn't stand up for me, he exclaimed.

- So you weren't sure then?

- I still had a little doubt. But I'm glad you came, he added, throwing me a quick glance.

A few minutes of silence followed this brief exchange during which I nervously tweaked my fingers. Why wasn't he talking? It was still him who had wanted us to see each other. So I decided to strike up a conversation despite my shyness and my clearly visible lack of confidence:

- What are you doing ? In life I mean.

- I work in construction.

- Since a long time ?

- Three years. My uncle got me a job with him right out of high school. It's quite a physical job but I like it.

We continued to get to know each other until we arrived at the cinema a quarter of an hour's drive from my house. In fact, it was more he who spoke to me about him and I listened to him. So I learned that he had an older brother, Maxime, aged twenty-five, and that he had lost his mother when he was sixteen. He hadn't seen his father since his mother's death. I was really embarrassed that he would talk to me about all this so easily, even though it didn't seem to bother him that much.

He didn't ask me any questions about myself, which was fine with me.

- Shall we have a coffee? he asked me as he left the cinema.

- OK.

As the weather was pretty good for the month of September, we sat down on the terrace of a café next to the cinema.

- Well, I told you about me in the car. Your turn, he said with his eternal smile.

That's what I was dreading. I couldn't escape it anyway, but I answered evasively.

- You know, there is not much interesting to know.

- I'm sure that everything about you could interest me. You have brothers and sisters ?

- A big brother and a little sister.

- And you do anything outside of reading and high school? Are you okay in high school, by the way?

- You already knew that, right?

He had only been watching me for the past few days so it wouldn't have surprised me if he followed me to high school.

- It was just a guess. But I see that I was right, he replied, smiling.

- I am in Terminal. Literary, I added.

- I would have guessed, since you read all the time, he exclaimed amused. How old are you ?

He had put on a disinterested air asking me this question, as if he didn't care to know my age, but I could notice that he was waiting for my answer impatiently. I could very well lie to him to keep him away from me permanently, but I didn't want to.

- Seventeen years.

He seemed surprised but reassured at the same time. I have often been told that I look older, but why did he look reassured? He thought I was fourteen or what? And besides, he must not be my age…

- And you ? I asked him calmly.

- Twenty one years.

- OK.

Well, at least he's not thirty… But still, four years older than me is a bit much, isn't it? For me, it seems huge, but maybe not for him, I don't know. I'll see later if it bothers him to have a discussion with a high school girl...

- Tell me, he added after a few moments of silence, am I wrong or you don't want to talk to me?

- You're not mistaken. I don't like talking about myself.

- How am I going to get to know you then? he asked, smiling honestly.

- Nobody knows me, I tell him, hoping that he leaves, forgets me and lets me down.

I really do contradictory things in a matter of seconds. One moment I'm asking him questions to find out more about him, the next I'm cold and distant, as I always have been. He had everything to be confused but that's not why he gave up.

- Not even your family?

- My family members know me best. Well, that's what they believe. Nobody really knows me, I tell him, staring at my mug.

- I'll be patient then.

I looked up and he was looking at me. It was too much. I had enough of it. How can he say he will be patient? He doesn't know me, and doesn't even know what to expect from me. I shouldn't have agreed to go out with him today, it was a very bad idea. I got up, grabbed my purse, and headed for the parking lot.

I didn't know if he was testing me, playing with me, or really caring about me. Any option except the last one. I would prefer to be turned down directly, so that I wouldn't have to do it myself, when I didn't want to.

- Did I say something that hurt your feelings? Flo asked me after catching me running.

He looked really worried.

- Nope. I just want to go home, I replied coldly.

Arriving in the car, he turned to me as I stared at the windshield:

- Listen. I really want to know more about you. I don't know why but that's how it is. I want to get to know you, spend time with you. We only met a few days ago, but what I'm saying is true. If you want to take it slow, we'll go at your pace. If you don't want to tell me about yourself right now, I'll wait. Afterwards, if you don't want to see me anymore, or even talk to me, tell me. Then I'll drop you off at home and I won't bother you anymore. Just tell me what you want. Or what you don't want. Anything.

As I hadn't said anything for several long seconds, he sighed softly and drove off. For once, her smile had peeled off her face, which made me feel weird. He looked really serious. I don't know him but I have the impression that I have already managed to identify him, which is probably only an impression by the way.

After what he told me, I didn't know what to say. So I didn't say anything. I just looked away and took in the scenery. What do I have to do ? Do I let him continue his little game or do I stop now? Despite the fact that I prefer solitude, I like it. I really like his company, just as I really like his eyes and his smile. I also want to know why he came to talk to me. Why is it me he wants to know when I told him I didn't want him. It is really strange. He tells me all this when he doesn't know me and I told him that I didn't want to talk to him. And the worst thing is that he talks to me like that only after a few days. What's gotten into him? I did not understand anything.

- I take it you want to stay with me?

I looked at him, surprised.

- What ?

- We arrived in front of your house, in case you hadn't noticed, he told me, smiling.

I looked through the window and saw the building where I live next door.

- Oh. Um yes. I... I was lost in thought. Sorry, I stammered.

- No problem.