08

**Nathalie MOUKOURY**

6am sharp I was in front of my room. In my starting clothes and just my tote on me. By the time I took out my phone to call him, he appeared down the hall. My heartbeats increased. I don't even know why! I like her style of dress. That must probably be why. But I must not digress. He disrespected me yesterday! He even despised me to the limit! He stood well away from me

- Hello

- …..

- Are you ready ?

- It is not seen ?!

- Where is your suitcase?

- (falsely surprised) A suitcase?! I don't think I came here with a suitcase!

I stared at him then went downstairs to wait for him in the hall. He joined me, carrying the said suitcase which he put in his trunk. The journey to my home was done in silence. Heavy silence, palpable tension I cursed internally against him throughout the journey. I would have preferred a thousand times to get back on public transport earlier than to be with “Monsieur I am enough for myself” with “Monsieur, we do what I say”. He parked 3 hours and a few later in front of the gate of my building. I got out without a word and slammed his door in anger!

I put my key in the lock and Rose was in front of me, more surprised than happy to see me.

- Ekie! Didn't you talk about going home either in the evening or tomorrow?

- (Annoyed) Some unforeseen!

I headed for the boys' room

- (Behind me) They're still sleeping

- (I open the door) Ekie! Almost 10 a.m.?!

- (Ken emerges) Mom???

- (I enter and carry the little one) Hasn't he washed yet?

- Put it down, he's sleeping! Simultaneously tell me Rose and Ken

- (I put it down delicately) Oukoulou! Sorry, excuse me ! Your real mother and your real father are watching over you my grandson!

- But why so soon? Didn't go well? Request Ken

- I say eh so in this house no one is happy to see me?

- (He gets up) that's not what I said! We still have the right to be a little surprised norrr

- But why is he sleeping exactly? He took his 5 o'clock bibi?

- (Ken looks at him worried) Yes, even the 8 o'clock one, but he slept very badly. He cries in his sleep

- (Rose intervenes confidently) It's colic. It can be treated at the native just like at the hospital

- (worried) You should have called me. Rose please put some water on the fire I shower him and I take him to a pediatrician. I still have to find one available on a Saturday at 10am!

I went to swap my jeans and my blouse for a kaba and I gave my little prince his bath, who cried a little and then he remained quiet. I called a colleague, a young mother, who gave me the number of her pediatrician. I called 700 times he finally took and asked me to come right away because he was leaving the clinic soon. Kendrick and I went there and after consultation, the pediatrician corroborated Rose's version. It is indeed colic but it passes with time and patience. All infants would pass through this box. Baby Kendrick's days are so far away from me!

In addition it was more mom than me who took care of it. This is all a bit new to me. He prescribed syrups and even vitamins. He said breastfeeding was ideal for helping the infant not lose its appetite. It's just unfortunate. 1 p.m. we were back home. Rose decided to stay with us until the next day. I went to bed in my bed and took the little one with me. I needed candor, beauty, gentleness, and being able to see and touch Nathanael managed to calm me down. The afternoon was very eventful because Nathanael was crying for nothing, although we passed him in turn, he was crying. Ken received a friend of his, a certain Ornella who tried like the rest of us to calm him down but nothing worked.

- (Ken walks through the doorway) Has he calmed down?

- (I whisper) Speak less loudly. He is sleeping.

- I'm going out for a while, with Ornella

- Pardon buy condoms

- (He rolls his eyes) Mom!

- What ?! I said what ? I can handle the colic from this one but not the next one!

He made a face at me before walking away. I welcome the fact that Rose stayed. Honestly, she was a huge help to me. It was only in the evening, after his bath, that he calmed down. He ate little, but he stayed in his deckchair, his eyes riveted like us on cartoons. You change he cries you put it back he is silent and crosses his little fingers there on his stomach

- (Rose looks at him with a fake evil look) Hum! Here is one who refuses misery! Look at the pose yourself: a worthy successor to President Popol!

- (I laugh) I tell you! Look how he is over there he looks like a boss!

- But it is not then a boss?!

Ken returned to this fact

- Since since then?! How far were you?

- We went for an ice cream then she wanted me to join her at a chill out there. (Looks at her child) Looks ok tonight

- Chi what? What's the other one?

- He's getting better. The drugs are starting to work

- A meeting with friends

- Massa! Is that to say that is difficult?!

We spent the rest of the evening very quietly with the family. Going to bed, I still eyed my phone hoping for a message. Nothing.

The next morning I took everyone to church and then we came home. Rose took time off and my son and I got ready to face the start of the week.

*

**

*

It is Monday morning, I take a deep breath of air before entering the building and settling down at my post. The colleagues who arrive after me all say hello and are surprised at my prolonged absence. I neither confirm nor deny anything. Around 9am he comes in and gives me a simple hello in passing, to which I don't reply. Later in the middle of the morning, Grégoire, a colleague from accounting who was going to the bathroom, was startled when he found me at my post.

- Hey! MOUKOURY are you there?

- As you can see

He comes and gives me 2 sound kisses

- Rhhhoooo really this hall comes back to life now that you're back! The trainee we put there to replace you during this time was a real walking disaster! Sorry, don't leave so long!

- (Alvine leaves her office) That she had a choice first?! Do you think she's gone on vacation?

- In any case, I took the opportunity to rest

- Next time you will rest longer

- But I say eh NONO, this girl even did what to you?! Every day you are behind her!

- (I pretend to be angry) Eish! Sorry leave my best enemy in peace! Every day how? Just the 3 days away from her and her insults I couldn't take it anymore! I missed her seriously!

Greg bursts out laughing while Alvine shoots me a murderous look, sharp when the gate calls me to announce a Mrs. AMBASSA for Mr. AMBASSA. At the mention of this name I again feel the beating of my heart accelerating. As the procedure requires, I call him

- Yes ?

- A Mrs. AMBASSA for you Sir….

Silence

- Bring her straight into my office

I call the gate and give them the info. Then I wait a few seconds before calling them back. I need to get to the bottom of it

- Yes, Sophie, could you give me Mrs. AMBASSA's first name too, please?

- Yes yes, one moment…. (the lady opened the door by taking off her pair of sunglasses. I took my breath away, she seemed so refined! I felt very lousy in front of her! We're deceiving the genre, why even norrrr) Yes! Hello ?

- (I smile at the lady keeping my handset propped against my ear) Yes Sophie?

- This is Ms. AMBASSA Eléonore

It was her. I had a double call. I felt my tension rising, I was afraid of feeling unwell. I even had the feeling of seeing blurry. I acted automatically and I picked up the second call still showing a frozen smile to the lady who barely glanced at me

- She's there ?

- Yes sir

- Please let her in!

- (I stand up) Mrs., after you

She gave me a cold politeness and then walked ahead of me to her husband's office where I knocked once.

- Yes !

I opened it and she came in. If I was listening to my heart I would have stayed by the door, my ear glued to it, to hear what they were saying to each other but I can't. She lives in Yaoundé. What is she doing in Douala on a Monday morning?

- Shit ! The go of the type is beautiful massa! No complaints ! Said Sandra

- How do you know it's his go? Request Alvine

- She has the same wedding ring as him

- Ikiiii Inspector Derrick you are too strong!

- In fact, I had already seen him together in Yaoundé. With their daughter she must be between 7 and 8 years old

- (Eyes shining with interest) Ah! He has a daughter, huh?

- In any case I saw them with a child

- And he greeted you? Or did he ignore you? And where was that?

- Mahima warda

- Oh! OK ! He greeted you?

- Yes yes just hello then he passed

- Maaama! Hum! How was he dressed?

I quietly returned to my post not wanting to hear more. I tried to concentrate on my task and regulate my heartbeat. I've dated married men before. But never before have I seen their wives so ready. She is really sophisticated! You immediately feel a traveler too! Time passed very slowly, between the various visitors and the external and even internal calls. I even called Rose at home to hear from Nath, who had started crying again, despite the television frozen on the Cartoons. But the pediatrician urged us to be patient. No need to be alarmed.

This door finally opened. They both got out and walked past me. As he entered, he didn't look at me. Christian hasn't returned to the office all day. Home party was baby night. Ken and I managed our little treasure. Tuesday at the office the news had already gone around the offices supposedly Ms. AMBASSA came to see her husband at the office. The situation was going well. Everyone put their two cents in there. Can't take it anymore, at a certain time of the day, I texted her

“Hello Christian; you're doing well ? »

My SMS went unanswered. I don't know why I spent the day watching my phone hoping for an answer. Yet he was there, in an office not far from mine. But ignoring me so easily shook me more than I could have imagined. I came home with a troubled mind. However, I knew how to make sense of things and manage my kids. At 9 p.m. my phone rang, I rushed to pick it up but it was just Adèle, an old acquaintance. We chatted a bit then I hung up. This time I called him. He immediately picked up

- Good evening Christian

- (Sweet) Good evening Nathalie

- I… are you okay? I wrote to you during the day but you didn't answer

- It's true. I beg your pardon. I got caught up in something big...

- Ok… If you want we can see each other (then speaking faster) just to talk! If... if you want...

Silence

- Ok, I'll pick you up in 30 minutes

- (Happy) Okay

I didn't even know why I was so happy but I was. I quickly tidied up my hair and a nude lipstick. When his text message came up I didn't even have to read it, I knew it was from him. I went down while warning Ken that I wouldn't take long. His car was there, parked, lit from the inside. I entered

- (I have the gaze fixed in front of me) Good evening

He turned my face towards him and gently placed his lips on mine. I had like butterflies in my stomach. The shy kiss quickly became fiery, passionate! He let me go and we were both panting

- I hate the way you ignore me at work

- I still greet you when I arrive

- I know but…

- We must remain discreet Nathalie

- I say. Look, I wanna... I wanna make love to you

At first he kept silent

- (He smiles at me shyly) I too would like to make love with you

It was the first time that I had the impression that we really communicated. From that moment everything changed between us. The ice broke, we started a sincere relationship based on openness and communication. Christian has become my friend, my man, my life partner.

SEVERAL MONTHS LATER

**Ken MOUKOURY**

- No Nat! Do not touch ! I'm going to hit you !

The tintamarre does as it pleases. Tsiup! I carry it and he protests with all his might and I leave to give it to his grandmother!

- Weeekeeeee! Nathanael, what did you do again?!

- He's making a mess in the room! I have to go !

- Ok. God watch over you.

-Amen

I am composing the baccalaureate this morning. I already received calls and wishes from Christian and Ornella late last night. Ornella also woke me up this morning with her long prayer sent in an SMS to which I replied with a simple thank you.

Ornella and I couldn't stay chaste for long. 6 months later despite all my good will and my attempts to resist, I ended up giving in to one of his multiple approaches and we did it at home, for the first time. Mom was still at work, Mom Rose left, Nath was sleeping. Since then, she and I have taken a liking to it and we have done it regularly. But I no longer walk without a condom.

Except that Ornella is seriously starting to get heavy. She wants to know about my life down to the minute. What I eat what I do when I go to sleep when I get up. I have the impression that she only models her life on mine. I don't want that. I need autonomy, no pressure or any form of prison.

The exam period allowed me to breathe a little. I told him that I needed to stay focused on my exam. This did not prevent her from writing every minute then every hour to get news. Sometimes I answered others no. Wendy passed for the 4th with 12/20 which earned me a small gratuity from her mother which I put in the account that mom and I opened and nicknamed the rescue account.

We have been living on the generosity of Christian and the migration of mom. She left the secretariat and has been assigned to the audit department for some time. His exemplary behavior and his passion for numbers earned him to see his salary increased by 100,000frs. Saturday is coming soon. To my greatest displeasure. As soon as I leave the examination room, Ornella is already at the bottom of the building, waiting for me. I roll my eyes when I see her but fake a smile when I'm near her

- (She jumps on me) Oh my beubeuuuuhhhhh! Mom said that if you have your baccalaureate and I have my probation, she will celebrate with great fanfare!

- (I'm worried) You told him about us?!

- What ?! You're crazy ?! I hold on to life! No but seriously she knows you're in exam class too so she's waiting for our results

- (I have a yellow laugh) Ah ok! OK !

- Good ! Where are we going ?

- Adorned, I'm mostly very exhausted. I need to get some sleep

- Alright, let's go then! Baby Nath is with his mother?

- Adorned I think I'm brooding on something. Let me first sleep a little then I'll come back to you ok.

- (Disappointed) Oh! OK….

- I'll walk you home then I'll go to sleep then I'll call you in the early evening ok Baby?

- (Annoyed) Ok….

- Come on! Do not be sad ! In the evening I will be able to redeem myself

- (Sulking) I hope so!

I took her home, I immediately had the feeling of breathing again once alone in the taxi. I immediately called my group of school friends who told me where to find them. I went back to change and found them in a snack bar. We took alcoholic drinks; I took Ice. I came home drunk and fell on my bed like a lump. I forgot myself. It was when the light came on in my room that I jumped up screaming the pain of my headache.

- (Sternly) You don't even have the baccalaureate yet, you're already telling me about alcoholism! Your room stinks of alcohol! Where is your phone?! In any case, take your son already! I have to go out too! Your girlfriend is waiting for you in the living room! She says she has been calling you since without success!

She handed it to me when it smelled bad

- Wesh Mom it stinks!

- So what ?! It's your son norrr change it!

She left and with my headache I dragged myself to the living room

- (I look at Nath who was playing while shouting) Nath shut up

- (mischievous laughter) Nah!

- (Falsely severe) Su!

- Nope !

We played this until I found Ornella in the living room, scowling

- (I come to give him a kiss) Hello

- Kendrick I saw Arthur today and he told me you were together

- Yes yes after you he insisted that I join him

- With him it's quickly decided! I am put off until tomorrow. I'm not a priority, right?! Am I not a Kendrick priority?

- Don't talk bullshit Babe. Well listen help me change it and change it I shower and we go out.

- We go out and leave him where?

- (I slap my hand on the forehead) Damn! But listen we can go out with him (smiling at Nath) huh man?! We'll have a bite to eat and we'll come back here...

- (She becomes smiling again): Ok!

She managed the little one and the 3 of us went out to get some chicken and we came back home to eat and laugh with the little one in our paws. She took care of it while I rested my skull. I made an effort to go out to please him. But seriously I learned today the hard way, alcohol and I are not made to be friends. Nath once asleep, she joined me on the sofa

- Babe?

- Hmm?

- What are the projects after bacc?

- (I shrug my shoulders) I did competitions I told you

- Yes I know ; Catho, UDM, ISTDI. But which one do you prefer?

- The Catholic

- That of Douala or Yaoundé?

- The sector I want to do is in Yaoundé

- (Small voice): What about us then?

- What about us?

- You far away in Yaoundé, me here in Douala. Do you think our couple will resist?

- Babe you visualize too far. Let's focus on the present.

- Hm, okay….

Mom came home the next morning and she seemed preoccupied. The days passed, slowly, one after the other and the more time passed, the more she seemed to me even more preoccupied. Until that famous Sunday, when we celebrated Nath's birthday and my Baccalaureate at the same time. Ornella was there too, she had had her probation, just like 3 of her friends whom she had introduced to me at the very beginning of our relationship. There is one, Aïda, who was unlucky and found herself tripling the class.

Mom and I celebrated the 2 events only with our very close friends, Christian, Ornella Maman Rose, Arthur and Adèle, a long-time friend of Mom. Ornella was more in the kitchen than among the guests. She was really a great help to me. Nath having fallen asleep at one point, I took him to go to bed in my room. When I got out of there, I noticed that the door to Mom's room was ajar. I approached to close it but I heard something that made me wince

- (Mom whispering) No Christian! I can't... I can't do this! Please don't ask me that!

- Please Nathalie do it for me. I never asked you for anything. It's so…. It's so important to me

- Christian please…

- Nathalie, I'm begging you. Do you want to see me on my knees? So I do it right away!

- Christian no! Nope ! Get up quickly! What are you doing on the ground?!

- (Broken voice) Please Nathalie. Do me this honor! Give me this grace!

- And my family ? Have you thought about it? How do I explain this to them?

I didn't want to hear more and went back to partying. I tried to empty myself and savor the present moment. I waited for everyone to leave. Ornella insisted on staying and cleaning up after everyone else. But I couldn't stand it anymore, I went to find Mum sitting on her bed in her bedroom, she was holding Nath very close to her and cradling him frantically, looking at the floor.

- Mom….

- Hmm?

- What's going on between Christian and you? Are you going to separate?

- (She still looks at the ground) I don't know…. Why are you asking?

- I heard you earlier

- (She finally raises a lost gaze towards me) What did you hear?

- Nothing really consistent. Tell me what is happening…

- I am 4 months pregnant Ken

- 4 months ???? And you're only telling me now?!

- I myself confirmed it quite recently. I certainly had my doubts but as I was still seeing my period I didn't really worry about it. But I was not feeling well recently and I went to consult and I am told that I am 4 months old pregnant.

- You… what are you going to do?

- You are no longer a child of yours, I can tell. Adèle told me at this age of pregnancy it is still possible to have an abortion. But Christian does not want…. It's a boy. He always dreamed of it

- Why don't you keep it?

- Kendrick, did you think about how his wife would react if she found out?!