A SINCERE LOVE!

****Nathalie MOUKOURY****

- Mrs. MOUKOURY in my office!

- (Alvine looking down at me): Krkrkrkrkrkrkr

I already know why he calls me. I get up trying to regulate my heartbeat and take a deep breath of fresh air before knocking on the door of the Director of Human Resources, then to enter

- (He is standing and visibly beside himself): What's the excuse this time?! Did you see the time???

- I am really sorry, Mr. AMBASSA. I had to go ask for a moratorium for my son's pension in college and….

- (With an angry gesture): Keep your excuses to yourself! You think you're the only one here with a life outside of the office?!

- (Calmly): No sir…

- When it's not your son's school, he's sick or you're sick, where do you think you are?! In a circus?!

- (Head down): No sir….

- (He calms down): Good! May this not happen again! At the next delay you can believe me you will take the door! No one is indispensable to the other here! Did I make myself understood?

- Yes sir….

- (He sits down again): Otherwise you were talking about a moratorium? You couldn't pay all of your son's board?

- No sir….

- How much is his pension?

- 196,000 Francs Sir

- And how much have you already paid?

- 80.000frs Sir

- I see. My proposal still stands, if you like I can help you pay for his board and even his supplies

- ….

- (He gets up again and comes closer to me): I could override your repetitive delays and even give you a little raise if you're nice to me...

- (I back away from his finger which he placed on my cheek): Sir…

- 150,000frs salary is not much for a single mother whose child is in college. What grade is he already?

- 1st Mr. Sir please… (I try to avoid his hand this time caressing my neck)

- I can arrange for him to have a scholarship and go to attend abroad in 2 years.

My heart beats wildly. He managed for a moment to make me think and listen to what he said to me

- (He dares further into the hollow of my chest with his arm): All you have to do is be my mistress. And I want exclusivity. Tell me yes and I will change your life and your son's life

- You are married sir…

- So what ?! That doesn't stop me from wanting a woman as beautiful as you more than anything. But I do not share! If you're mine I don't want to hear from another man!

KNOCK KNOCK

- (He readjusts): Who is it?!

- It's Alvine, sir. This is for the report you requested

- (He opens the door on her while I regain my composure, happy to get out of here): Come in!

She came in giving me an angry look. If only she could know that this man she likes so much is the one harassing me and not the other way around!

I go back to my post constantly wondering how I'm going to find the money and settle Kendrick's pension. He brought me back a notice of expulsion from class yesterday and I was very sorry to have no possible recourse.

From the height of my 35 years and my status as a secretary that I had thanks to the more than saving intervention of the late best friend of my late mother, I finally manage to be able to put food on the table for my son, to pay him hospital care at the height of my means and to put a roof over his head without prostituting me any more. I had it relatively early, at 20 years old, the result of a beautiful mistake of youth and beginner because, to be honest, its parent was a one-night stand. Neither he nor I had imagined that the condom had broken. It wasn't until 4 months later that my mother and I realized with horror that I was pregnant and despite all my attempts to expel him, he got tough and never left…..

Mom was more his mother than me during the first 7 years of his life. Then she succumbed to illness, leaving me alone with the dreadful responsibility of mothering a child. I had to think of him before thinking of me. I had to make sure he ate even if I wasn't eating. The family home was sold by my uncle, my mother's only brother, and he left for Europe with the money from the sale in his pocket. I quickly found myself on the street, with my 7-year-old son looking at me with his naive eyes and constantly asking me

- Taty Nath what do we do now?

I didn't have much time to cry. The 1st year I juggled with a nightlife friend but very quickly she felt cramped with us in her room, the tail in the buttocks I ended up going to see this friend of mom there, Sita Popoh who did not hide her open disapproval of my lifestyle. She already cared for her 9 children whom she was raising in her 2-bedroom house, with her donut business that she had been doing since the time of Methuselah. Life really wasn't easy at home, between her daughters who didn't hide their hostility from me and the screaming misery in which we lived. She encouraged me to ignore her daughters and their attitude, and get out of my life of debauchery. Very quickly I assisted him in his trade, while her daughters ran the streets under her helpless gaze. She spent her time telling them when I'm gone, you'll understand! Today they understood I think.

That's how she introduced me to a sister in Christ who was looking for a secretary. I knew absolutely nothing about the business. I only had the probationary. I tried the baccalaureate 3 times then I stopped and started my life outside. Mme Clotilde was patient and generous. The 3 years spent in contact with him allowed me to quickly acquire the classic techniques of this function. My son had the vine and it was she who enrolled him in college in the same way as her children, paying all the costs of his schooling, including outfits and supplies.

When he arrived in 5th grade, she left to join her husband in Canada, leaving me a fund of 1,000,000 francs for my minor needs and those of Kendrick. I left Sita Popoh not without thanking her for her generosity with us and I took a room that I immediately equipped. Luck smiled on me and I found another job in the same field barely 6 months later. Everything was going very well with my hierarchy until my cash reserves dwindled as Kendrick's needs grew. I quickly realized that between the pension which has increased in the meantime, the rent which has increased and the cost of living I was spending much more than I was earning.

I'm still lucky that my son isn't an envious person. He was able to adapt very quickly to the little that his late grandmother or I were always able to give him. He couldn't attend the extracurricular activities they did like the others, on the contrary, in the evenings he helped me to make the bissap juice and the caramels that I left it to my neighbor to sell for me during the day. Today I have a broken fridge, a broken TV, a fan that blows out hot air instead of cool air, and I can't think of anything I can't do for a long time to fix one. or the other. My only prized possession right now is my steam iron. If he lets go of me, I'm screwed.

(Alvine snaps me out of my reverie): Hey! What did the boss tell you?

- Nothing that does not concern you

- Hum! I hope you remember that he is married!

- I hope that you too

- What do you mean ?

- Nothing in particular. The way you spy on his every move and word, I still hope you remember very well that he's someone's husband!

- In any case, it's not me who's going to stay in his office.

- (I lean over my machine): That's what I was saying

- (Alvine raising his voice): Moukoury I am not of your caliber you understand norrrr

- (I roll my eyes): And here we go again

- Beware of me! I just asked you to keep the little dignity you have left to respect yourself! You think I don't know who you are?

I clear my mind and focus on my morning task. I learned to do it since Alvine arrived. She came to find me at my simple post of secretary. She's a full-fledged executive assistant who decided to take a dislike to me, I don't know why. She is done vomiting her venom and returning to her post. The day went by as usual and during my break, I took my jar of rice with peanut sauce and smoked cod that I went to eat in the little makeshift kitchenette set up for us. The other colleagues have sent the surface technician to buy them dishes of braised fish, chicken and so on. I started my meal alone in the room but we very quickly found ourselves at 6 including Alvine who was quick to taunt me

- There are people here that even eating decently is beyond them! Just flirt with the bosses vraaaiiimmment Yeuch! exclaims Alvine

Nobody said a word. Alvine is a niece to the CEO's wife. Nobody dares to put her back. Everyone who tries is punished in one way or another. I myself know that she is looking for my flaw and that very often she went to sabotage me with the hierarchy. But I try as much as possible to avoid it. Everyone here knows she's got a crush on HRD. He even tells himself in the hallway noises that they have a relationship. But I'll bet my hand that it's a story that she alone invents while the guy doesn't even calculate it! Anyway! Everyone has their own stories. For the moment I have to find a solution to my increasingly regular money problems.

***Kendrick MOUKOURY***

It's already been two days since Sydney last showed up at college. I don't have a phone so I'm eagerly awaiting the lunch break to call him from a callbox across from the college. Hopefully I won't go over the 1 minute mark. Otherwise I will find myself forced to walk home.

I'm sitting on the balcony of my classroom thinking about her when Arthur my bench neighbor shows up

- Here ! Hand me Arthur

- I take the envelope): Why?

- (He points to a girl at the other end of the balcony): It was Ornella from the 1st A4 All who asked me to give it to you

- (I'm rather surprised): To give it to me??

- Yes ! Yours !

- (I put it in my pocket): Ok…

- Won't you open it??

- Just now !

It's true that it's really curious that one of the most prominent girls in school sends me a note. But it's still weird. She knows Sydney well; they walk together! I'm going back to class for the very boring lesson from the English teacher. If it wasn't really to get my mother out of poverty, I wouldn't have bothered to do like many here and take the stargate at a certain time of the day. But given that physics strikes me a little and that it does not have the means to take me a tutor, I am forced not to neglect all the other subjects even if they are not my basic subjects. At lunch break I hurry out to the callbox right next door and I launch the call with a beating heart. Unfortunately it sounds empty.

I insist and it cuts out on the 2nd ring. A 3rd, 4th, 5th time also the same. I don't quite understand what is happening. But I don't budge and go back to the school and reinstall myself on the balcony. Here there is fresh air, it takes me away from the warmth of the house. I really need to do a side activity, I don't know which one yet Mom's bissap and caramels barely pay for my taxi to school in the morning. And I still have to get out of here and do the small market with the 2000frs she left me. There is almost no oil and condiment left. I'm going to skip a little plantain with a mackerel anyway. It will change us from the rice of every day.

When did I know my aunt was my mother? The year of my 10 years, when I made the CEPE. You had to bring your birth certificate to school for the constitution of the file and I took the trouble to go through it. In the Mother's name box, it was not Sita Annette as I always thought, but Nathalie MOUKOURY. I integrated the information without asking myself too many questions and I continued to call him Taty Nath. But growing up I voluntarily swapped it for Mom. We never talked about it but we both know. It's essential

- Hello Kendrick

I turn around and I see Ornella

- Hello Ornella

- I… are you okay?

- I'm fine thank you and yourself?

- I'm fine. Can I lean back close there?

- (I step back immediately): Of course! (Then thinking of his envelope) You'll excuse me, I haven't had time to read your message yet.

- That's even good. You can tear it up

- Without reading it?

- Without reading it. I prefer to tell you face to face, it's simpler

- So I'm listening to you

- If you don't mind, we can go home together after school? I noticed that your class and mine always go out together on Thursdays.

- (I'm annoyed): Uhhh in fact it's that I hadn't planned to go home with someone, you see?

- The driver picks me up; He can drop you off

Just the idea of imagining that I will save 500frs I am jubilant!

- It's OK !

- OK ; I leave you but please do me a favor: tear this envelope.

- OK I will do it

As she leaves, I dare the question that has been tormenting my mind since

- Tell me !

- (She turns on me): Yes?

- You know Sydney I believe?

- Yes yes

- Do you have any news from her?

- She's in pain. Do you want me to send him a message?

- Oh no ! It will be fine! It's just that for some time I no longer see her at school

- I had her yesterday on the phone and she seemed unwell. As it's gone, it won't be there until Monday

- Ah OK ! If you ever see her you will tell her that I give her my regards

- You seem to know her pretty well

- No more than that! She had math problems at one point and I helped her.

- Okay okay. Good ! At 3 p.m. then

- At 15h !

She walked over to a group of girls waiting for her who immediately seemed to ask her what we were talking about. While I was still trying to understand Sydney's attitude. She picked up Ornella's call yesterday, she might as well have picked up the call from a call box! She must necessarily suspect that it was me because she knows that I don't have a phone and in addition I was insistent. We have always wanted our relationship to be discreet.

She walked over to a group of girls waiting for her who immediately seemed to ask her what we were talking about. While I was still trying to understand Sydney's attitude. She picked up Ornella's call yesterday, she might as well have picked up the call from a call box! She must necessarily suspect that it was me because she knows that I don't have a phone and in addition I was insistent. We have always wanted our relationship to be discreet. It's true that it all started with her shortcomings in mathematics that she had come to ask a neighbor in her sector in our class and since he himself was not doing well with this exercise and that I am known to be very good at math, he came to see me for help and it all went from there. Our relationship has slowly evolved to its current stage. She, like me, deflowered together and promised that nothing, especially poverty, would never separate us. She is the one who comes to our house, in the modest room I share with my mother and sometimes, without even asking her, brings me food or helps me out. She is a year older than me. We don't have the same problems.

At 3 p.m. I meet Ornella on the stairs who was obviously already waiting for me while fiddling with her phone.

- Let's go ?

- (Right away): Did you open the envelope?

- You asked me not to

- Can you give it back to me?

- (I take it from my bag still sealed): Here

- Thanks for that

We got out of the school together and headed for the vehicle she pointed to. Once installed in the back she asks me

- Where are you being dropped off?

- Euuuhhh Even Ndokoti is fine with me

- Is that where you live?

- No no I'm at ESG

- So we'll drop you off at ESG

- You don't mind, are you sure?

- Nope. I go to Bonamoussadi. It's a slight detour

- If you say so….

In my life I count the number of times I have entered an air-conditioned car. At the time of mum's former boss, her driver came to pick up all of her children and me and he first dropped me off at mum's office where I waited for her to finish with the job so that we could go home. This car was air-conditioned. But since then I've never taken more than convoluted old heaps of scrap metal.

- Here I wanted to ask you if… if uuhhhh

I look at her curious still not understanding what she is trying to tell me

- Actually I would like to know if you have a girlfriend

I look shocked at the driver in front of us but kind miss we hear us there!

- Don't worry! Youssef and I have an agreement he doesn't talk about my things I don't talk about his. Hey Youssef?!

- Yes little lady!

- (She looking at me): So?

- Listen Ornella I would appreciate if you want us to discuss that we are in a more… environment. (I look at the driver) more discreet!

- OK ! How about we see you on Saturday?

- (I reflect on the current state of my finances): Where?

- At the modern glacier of Bonamoussadi if you feel like it

- …..

- Ok in any case, we have plenty of time to talk about it tomorrow at lunchtime if you don't mind.

- I have nothing against.

The rest of the journey was done in silence. Until I entered logbaba, going towards St Thomas. I thanked the driver and Ornella then I took some food at the small market at my entrance before returning home to swap my school uniform for my house shorts and one of my 3 t-shirts. 5 p.m. I had finished preparing, cleaning the gas hob, the bedroom and the front of the bedroom. I went to stock up on water at the public fountain. At 6 p.m. I was done and I was getting out of the shower when Mom came home

- It smells good in here!

- Serve yourself ! I myself am very hungry where I am!

It was while talking about everything and nothing that we ate. Suddenly we hear a din in the courtyard of the mini city

- What house is this?! Speak fast! A fool like that!

- It's here… SNIF

- (Mom sighs): What problem is there still out there?

- (I stare at the fuzzy TV images): It's for them over there, it's none of my business

I was barely finishing my sentence when the noise was felt in front of our door.

- It's here ? PAF! (sound of a slap) DIDN'T I ASK YOU?!

- It's here Papa Snif! It's here

TOC! KNOCK KNOCK !!!! KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK !!!!

- Sorry, don't break my door, what is it?!

- (The gentleman enters while vociferating): Is it here that there is a MOUKOURY Kendrick?

My heart went straight into my belly the bite of plantain is wedged in my mouth

- Take it easy sir! What is the concern?

- ANDELA passes here! Quickly !

And I see her entering with her face bathed in tears. I wake up overwhelmed by what I see

- It is here that you said is not it?!

She nods her head shielding her face

- YOU ARE GOING TO TALK YES?! IT'S GOOD THIS HOUSE AND THIS BOY IS NOT IT????

- Yes Dad !

I didn't even have time to react when the gentleman punched me in the face. He then grabbed me by the collar

- YOU LITTLE PITCH! THIS IS MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE YOU WANT TO DESTROY?! EH ?! IT'S HIS LIFE YOU WANT TO DESTROY?!

- RELEASE MY SON! RELEASE IT!

The neighbors quickly came running. I was far from imagining that the small cube we occupied could contain so many people

- AND YOU YOU STRAIGHT! I KILL MYSELF I PAY YOU FOR HIGH SCHOOLS AND IT'S WITH LITTLE SPOTS LIKE THIS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET HERE?! WHAT CAN HE OFFER YOU?! LOOK WHERE HE LIVE! IS THIS WHERE YOU GOT GOT PREGNANT?! IN THIS SLUM ????

- (Sydney cries harder): I'm sorry dad!

- I'm warning you, you dirty bastard, my daughter won't raise a bastard, you hear me?! She won't abort but she won't educate that bastard! She gives birth, she comes to give it to you, you do what you want with it! Don't even think about running away! Otherwise it's in college I'm going to show you! Dirty booby!

- (Mom is beside herself): Get the hell out of my hovel, Monsieur Le Riche! Get out of here right away!

- We're leaving ! ANDELA goes ahead! But I promise you you haven't heard of me yet!

They ended up leaving and the room emptying, leaving my mother and me paralyzed by the information. We were silent for a while

- You really got her pregnant?

- (I'm still stunned): I don't know...

- You had sex with her?

- Yes…

- (Crily): Good! You are going to be a dad, congratulations!

This is how my life changed completely. This is how I really became an adult long before I was even prepared for it.