06

***Nathalie MOUKOURY***

While I'm already lying down, there's a knock on my door

- Between Ken

I see him entering alone

- How is it ? He is sleeping ?

- Yes

He comes and sits on the edge of the bed looking really worried

- Mom…

- Yes ?

- We promised each other that we would always move forward together, in all foresight. You know how I bring what I bring home. But you have been hiding things from me for some time now. How would you expect me to innocently enjoy this pomp when I know your take home pay is 150,000?

I sigh

- When tomorrow it will be necessary to face difficulties it is at this time that you will consider that I deserve to know what is going on?

- Kendrick you're still just a child

- (Ken gets angry): Ah yes?! A child who learned on his own to find what he is going to eat and what he can do to have a few coins he was barely 8 years old?! A child who was mature enough very early to understand that he shouldn't envy the rich kids when he got into their car and saw them eating hamburgers while he was leftover donuts sold in the morning that made lunch service? It is today that I become that child again who must be protected from hunger and the difficulties of this world, mom?! It's today ???

- ….

- (He catches his breath) What are you afraid of talking to me? That I judge you?

- A little

- I would be very stupid to judge you since everything you are doing, you are doing it for us. However, I deserve not to be surprised tomorrow

- Anyway you have nothing to fear Kendrick

- You don't know Mum! You don't know.

Silence

- (I take a deep breath) I'm seeing someone right now

- He's rich and married, right?

- How did you know ?

- You're the only one who thinks I'm still a child

I laugh a sad laugh

- Are you sure it's not dangerous?

- I'm more than sure. His family is based in Yaoundé. He is alone here

- OK

He got up and once on my doorstep he turns around and says to me

- You promise me that you will stop everything as soon as it becomes dangerous

- I promise you

He went to bed. We were lucky that Nathanael came to us already sleeping. He just takes a bottle at midnight, the last one, then he opens his eyes again at 5am. However, I got up during the night to go to their room to check that they were sleeping well. The father was lying in front, his son in the back. I took a picture of the painting and went back to my bed. Only to come out again at 5 a.m. when I heard him cry. I went straight to the kitchen to make him his 5 a.m. bibi and I, his father and I passed each other in the hallway, he was wearing it

- Give it to me, go back to bed

He went there without a word while I took the little one with me, who immediately went back to sleep after eating. I called Rose at 7 a.m. when Ken was leaving for class, to tell her that I would let her know if I needed her to come home during the day. At 8 o'clock he called me

- Hello Nathalie

- Hello Chris

- I'm at the bottom of the building

- (I'm surprised) Oh! Do you know where it is?

- The real estate agent told me yes

- Ah OK. You can go up (ironic) I guess you also know which apartment it is

- (He ignores my remark): Ok

The next minute he rang and just dressed in my pajamas I went to open it. He looked me up and down soberly, nothing shiny or shiny in his eyes before entering.

- (I give him the right of way) Do you want to go around the owner?

- I don't mind

I first showed him the living room where there were only my 2 old wooden chairs, explaining to him that I was waiting for the living room to be delivered to me.

- No dining room?

- I couldn't afford it

He just nodded. We went into the kitchen too

- You didn't take a cook?

- Too expensive

We went to the bedrooms and then back to the living room where he sat on one of the chairs

- There are still cathode ray tube televisions today?!

- Televisions to what?

Nathanael's crying interrupted me

- (He gets up quickly) I think we need you…

- (I look at him to know if he would take the door or not) Yes

- (He answers my silent question) You can go get the baby. Is it a girl or a boy ?

- A boy. It's bath time. I have to take care of it. It may take time

- Heating water takes time with an electric water heater?

- ….

- I guess you got one?

- I can't afford it. I'm not sure I can afford the bills

- But I give you 250,000/month. You can afford it.

- ….

- Take care of him, I'm waiting

I went into the kitchen to put some water to heat up on my very slow hob and get Monsieur out of my bed, whose face was bathed in tears. I made him a quick bottle that I came to give him in the living room while waiting for his bath water. Christian stared at my TV screen the whole time. From time to time he spoke on the telephone. I still took care to observe it a tad. He is in a jacket ensemble. It is navy blue and the shirt inside is pristine white. I excused myself for a moment and went to give Nathanael his bath, then I brought him back to the clean living room to find that Christian was standing, posed in front of the window of the room, his back to me.

- You're going to have a plasma TV, an electric water heater, a play mat for the little one and a stove delivered to you later. (Then looking at me) I would like to meet tonight

- (Pleasantly surprised) “I would like to” It changes everyday orders….

- So ?

- I think that it is possible. I have to organize myself with my son for the childcare

- Why don't you take someone full time?

- Nope ! We don't want intruders in our home. We will organize him and me. Like yesterday I think 8 p.m. is doable

- Ok, 8 p.m. I'll pick you up

Without leaving me the task of retaliating, he was already in front of the door.

I spent the day babying and loving it. This child is just adorable and so endearing. His father was right yesterday. He's not used to being alone. For a little that he feels alone in the room the echo of his cries can tear your heart out but as soon as he sees you he stops and smiles at you

- You're a little rascal…

Christian really did a great job, I received delivery of everything he mentioned during the day. I am truly spoiled by life. All invoices bear my name. I don't lose sight of my goals. Live better while putting aside as much money as possible. So at the slightest prank I resell everything possible and I get myself a studio that is up to my means. I hope to at least hold on to this relationship until Ken graduates and goes off to college.

Unlike some I do not have excessive ambition. I would just like this relationship to allow me to make my son a university graduate who can take care of his son and me. If this relationship can last 4 to 5 years max I think it can be done. Yes, I will do whatever it takes to stay in his good graces until Ken is financially independent. Him on the other hand I don't understand what he saw me and why spent so much on a girl of my caliber. He could have made a young girl 10 years my junior….

**Kendrick MOUKOURY**

Back home new wonders awaited us.

- Did you see ?! We have a plasma screen!

- (Soberly) Hum!

I walked without a word to my room to take my sleeping son in my arms

- (She's behind me) You're giving her bad habits. When he sleeps let him sleep. Don't wear it if he doesn't claim it

- ….

- You don't have to worry, you know? I know what I'm doing

- I just hope he's not a sectarian!

- It's for him and his family! My blood is bitter even in sorcery!

I rested Nathanael who smiled at me in his sleep when I took him in my arms

- I am going to wash myself

- Go ahead I prepared chicken

I went to shower while thinking. So far we have been worthy even in our misery. We have never depended on anyone. Or at least the money earned was earned by the sweat of our brows. I feel so small and so frustrated to know that through my fault my mother is reduced to doing what she does! Yes because for me it is no different from prostitution! Even if she says she manages the situation would she really tell me if it got complicated?! And then what would we do?! We would go back to the small room we occupied at logbaba? I really need to finish this diploma and get back into working life. I have to get my mother and my son out of poverty.

I took the trouble to eat and rest. At 4:45 p.m. I got ready and put on my new clothes to go teach Ornella and her little sister

- Please be there at 7:30 p.m. at the latest, I have to go out

I just nodded and left. At 5:15 p.m. I was in front of the EKANI home and this time it was Ornella who came to open the door. Dressed in a straight dress and with thin strings.

- (Ornella is all smiles) Good evening Kendrick

- Good evening Ornella

I followed him to the room the last time.

- Ornella I prefer to start with Wendy if you don't mind

- It suits me too

She came out then joined me with her younger sister dressed in a decent dress that pulled the face

- Hello Wendy

- ……….

- Can you show me your Maths, French and English notebooks for the first time?

Without a word she ran while her sister left us. I observed in his notebooks the extent of the task that awaited me. It took me more than an hour to pinpoint his level of education and teach him some basics. Ornella then joined me and it was easier with her. We used the 45 minutes we had left to good use.

- (I put away my belongings looking at the watch on the wall in front of me) Good! See you Friday at 5 p.m.

- (Ornella puts her hand on mine) For lessons?

- (Surprised): Yes!

- Ok. When are you and I seeing each other?

- (I scratch my head) Ornella I don't think I can combine the two roles. I am your tutor. I can't be your boyfriend too

- One absolutely does not prevent the other! I know how to separate things, it seems to me

- Maybe it's me who doesn't know how to do it

- I'll guide you. There is nothing to be afraid of

- I remain very uncomfortable with the idea

- (She gives me a seductive smile) I'm sure that when we know each other better you'll be less timorous. I've been negotiating this relationship for a year now. You know I'm beautiful huh! Others than you woo me too

- Maybe you should try with them

- Is that really what you want?

- Nope. What I want is for you to focus on your studies and get your probation first, then your baccalaureate.

- (She sticks her forehead against mine with her same seductive smile) What will you give me in exchange?

- (I free myself) You know very well that I have nothing to offer.

She pulled away and crossed her hands over her chest

- Kendrick you suck! Seriously, you're pissing me off!

Silence

- What do you not like?

- I never said that !

- So what's your Pb?

- Ornella, I'm not like other young people our age. I can't give you romance at Melrose Place. I can't afford it

- (She rolls her eyes) The money! You bring everything back to money! Like always

- (Vehemently) That's not true!

- If it's true !

We look at each other

- (She changes her mind and gathers her belongings) You know what? It's good there we stop with! I now turn to my tutor. good evening sir, you know the exit

She gets up and heads for the exit

- Alright, let's try!

She stops at the door without looking back

- But on one condition: we remain chaste until your baccalaureate. I'm your boyfriend but we remain chaste until the baccalaureate.

- (She turns around and looks at me) It can be done. But if we're together I want us to show off. I have nothing to hide

- (I shrug my shoulders) It's as you wish. I don't have anything to hide either. But when I come to you it's for...

- I say ! To deliver your lessons and nothing else

- So ! No emotional demonstration in front of your family

- But we'll still see each other out of here, I hope?! I mean outside of here, your house and college?

- Yes if you want. But even that needs to be regulated. I don't really like girls who are out all the time. You want to go out, let's talk about it first. I'm not watching you. But you have to stay focused on your studies.

- (She laughs amused) It's quite a contract that we are making here

- (Unfazed) And I'm really serious Ornella. If I say no you don't go out you don't go out

- Do you think you're my father?

- (I get up in my turn and find her at the exit) Take it or leave it.

She says nothing but comes between me and the door. She brings her lips closer to mine

- (I look away) You're already breaking the rules! We said that we do nothing here

- We still have the right to seal our agreement

She put her lips on mine. I immediately felt excited. For more than a year I have had no girlfriends. She had to put her lips on mine for me to feel the cruel lack. I walked away

- I have to go back home

- (She shows me the exit with a theatrical gesture): After you Mr.

I came home with a whole bunch of questions in my head. It is more than imperative that I do not lose my job. We need these 60,000 francs. We must save as much as possible because the future is uncertain. But I don't hide that I miss having a girlfriend. I miss being a man again in my flesh. This life of sacrifice is not easy.

When I put my key in the lock, Mom is there, standing, visibly ready

- Oh! You are the ! Well I'm leaving

- Where is he, what?

- I discovered that cartoons captivate his attention. He is in front of the TV

I went directly to find Nathanaël installed in his deckchair, his gaze riveted on the screen

- (I caress his cheek): Hey man

He smiled at me and started fidgeting in his seat handing me his little handcuffs. I pulled him out and took him in my arms. A moment of perfect alchemy that I cannot describe. My eyes glued to hers I went to sit on one of the wooden chairs

- (Mom stands behind me) I already told you that you give him bad habits. Learn to leave him in his deckchair if he doesn't cry

- (I'm staring at my son): Ok

- Well I'm leaving. Don't forget that he has his 9 p.m. bottle to take. Diaper it just before

- I know all that mum you can leave

- Hum! OK

I heard the front door lock and suddenly I received a text from Ornella:

“The norm would be for my boyfriend to reassure me that he arrived safely….

I'm not sure I can last 2 years without touching you like I would like.

See you tomorrow at the College »

- (I'm talking to myself more) I'm not so sure either….

**Nathalie MOUKOURY*

I went down to find Christian in his car. He unlocks and I go in, immediately putting on my seat belt. She smells good, he smells good. He wears a midnight blue polo shirt and Jean pants. He looks younger and less severe in this outfit.

- Good evening Natalie

- Good evening Christian

It started and we drove in silence. Silence that I ended up breaking

- Where are we going ?

- Home

I thought, however, that it was up to me to express the desire for him. Otherwise why is he taking me home? I kept my question to myself and we drove to his building where he lined up like the day before against the fence wall in starting position.

I followed him without any apprehension to his apartment. He left me sitting in his living room and went inside without a word. I remained undecided. Is this a tacit invitation to find him in his room? Or do I just have to sit there and he'll show up eventually? The response was quickly felt. He came back handing me a plastic from a brand store

- 1st bedroom on your left. You can change there, I'm waiting for you

I took the plastic and went to this neutral, classic bedroom. I took the outfit out of its packaging and after a few minutes of figuring out how to wear it, I finally got it. I had to get rid of my bra which became bulky and awkward with this outfit and I stuffed it in the same plastic, at the same time as my initial outfit. There was also the matching pair of sandals that fit me like a glove! How did he know about my shoe size? I joined him in the living room where he was waiting for me, seated in front of a glass of a pinkish liqueur

- (I throw shyly) I'm ready

He got up and without any embarrassment, contemplated me.

- It fits you well

- How did you know about my shoe size?

- I guessed

- You guess like a pro!

He just gave me a brief smile and walked past me. This man is too austere for my taste. I don't know if he ever farts a little. No matter how hard I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable, I don't see us in bed. If so, it would be necessary before we turn off the light and close our eyes.

We got back into his vehicle again

- Where are we going ?

- Having dinner

- OK….

He fiddled around in front of him and soul pop invaded the car. I don't remember when it happened to me to be treated so well by a man. I had with him without even giving him a kiss on the mouth all that I never had in a life of debauchery well felt. Just for that I am willing to make a few concessions and give in to his whims. Because for a man of this stature and legally married to find himself looking for a lover and investing so much, he's surely setting her up for something hard to swallow. But don't worry honey. I'll hold out for as long as it takes.

Christian took me to a beautiful restaurant with a pool where we were treated like royalty. I almost felt like a queen. We mainly talked about the office during the meal and even before. It was when they came to clear the table that I realized it was 9.30pm.

- (I try to get up) Excuse me, I have to make an important call

- (He holds my arm) You can make it in front of me

- (I stifle my sigh) Ok....

I dialed Ken's number and he picked up and reassured me immediately. Yes Nath has eaten. Yes, Nat is asleep. But no, he is not sleeping. They are, and I quote, "eye to eye" and I am disturbing them. I hung up laughing

- Tell me about the father of your son

- (I search my memory) His name was Marc I think

- Would you know him if you saw him today?

- (After a slight hesitation) I think so. Why ?

- Simple curiosity

- Tell me about you

- Classic course. Primary and secondary studies here university in England.

- How old are you ?

- (He smiles maturely): 40 years old

- You didn't have your daughters early….

- Early is relative

- And your wife? How do you meet her?

- We met at a party in London. We decided to come back and settle here.

- If I may, why are you cheating on her?

- (He laughs mockingly) Because men cheat on Nathalie. You did not know ?

- I never really had a relationship

- (He squints) Everything has to have a start. You want something else ? Where can we go?

- It's good for me, we can go.

He waved to the waiter for the bill and he paid it. We went out and he led us to a discreet cabaret where he greeted 3 or 4 people before being seated in a VIP area. I saw myself again when I was 16, 20. The atmosphere was good, very good even. I casually downed countless glasses of baileys while shaking my head and body in place. I wanted to dance but I held back. He, on the other hand, kept the same position throughout our stay and drank little. He tapped his phone a lot more

- (Around 11 p.m.) We'll go if you want

- (I'm all perky) Ok…it's up to you

We went out I wanted him, wanted sex. It really doesn't take much to get a woman into bed. He rallied in such a short time all the necessary conditions: money and gallantry. I looked at my phone to see if Ken had texted me and yes he sent me a picture of them in bed

- (He has both hands on the steering wheel staring at the road and clenching his jaws) It's 11 p.m. you should turn off that phone

- (Me tick to tock) I have a son and a grandson I would like to hear from

Silence

- You can call him from my phone

- I don't want to involve my son in our story

He suddenly braked. Luckily I put on my seatbelt. Otherwise I would have easily smashed my forehead against his windshield

- (Hard tone) I don't tolerate a woman being on her phone at any time. If it's really your son you want to have you call him from my phone is that clear?!

I looked at him for a moment. So that's it… He's a big jealous doubled paranoid!

- (Positively) Unlock your car

- You don't give me orders!

- (I raise my voice) Unlock that fucking car and let me out!

He looks at me. His gaze lets nothing show

- I owe you my new status, but not my life! If this story must exist, I demand a minimum of freedom! This is not the sea to drink!

He resumed his journey without saying anything more. I crossed my arms against my chest, my gaze glued to my window. I didn't want to know where he was going. With him, with me, it didn't matter to me! One thing was for sure, I would end up going home. I understood after a moment that it was the road to my building that he took. I felt excruciating pain shoot through my stomach. It meant he was angry, that he didn't want me anymore. It was over. The good life only lasted a few days. He parked at the bottom of my building:

- Get down

I undid my seatbelt without saying anything and got out of his car. I entered my house it was off everywhere. Normal it was almost midnight! I went straight to my room to put on my pajamas and get into my bed. Oh this life! I failed at the very first hurdle! I struggled to sleep unsuccessfully tossing and turning in my bed and then my phone vibrated, catching my attention. It was from him

“I'll send you someone tomorrow at dawn to watch over the children. I'll pick you up at the end of the afternoon. Take the bare minimum: We are going to Kribi”

This guy is crazy!