03

****Nathalie MOUKOURY****

I hang up not being sure I heard correctly. Already here at the office it is more and more tense. Mr. AMBASSA is looking for the slightest flaw to shout at me! How am I going to get out of here now? I get up and go to see the young intern Michèle from human resources. An uneventful girl in her early twenties who sits in the human resources office

- (Border whispering) Hey! Michele! Michele!!!

- (Looking at me finally) Yes?

- Please cover me at my post. An emergency

- Okay okay…..

I walked out of the premises without asking for my rest and took a racing motorbike home. In this kind of case, we do not calculate too much. I threw his 1000frs note at him as I ran to my room. When I walk in, Rose and Ken are hunched over something…or someone.

- Mom look yourself! They left the child here!

I take the paper he hands me and the course. I feel my blood pressure rising, my blood getting hot in my veins!

- Ken is carrying the child and follow me!

- Where are you taking her? Wonder Rose

- I bring it back where it came from

- Do you know where he comes from?

- (I look at Ken) Answer the question!

- (Sheepish) No... We always saw each other here...

- (I try to regulate my breathing which is accelerating): Ok but you have someone in common norrrr! Someone who can tell us where she lives!

- I think so…

- MOUKOURY sorry do better than think! Do better than that! Call that person right away and ask them where they live!

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and makes the call

- Yes, I'm not calling you in relation to earlier. Tell me, do you know where Sydney lives?

………

- I'll explain later please, it's urgent!

……..

- Yes yes

……….

- Yes I see !

…………….

- OK. Gate painted blue. Thank you I will make it up to you

He hangs up and looks at me

- I know where it is !

- Good. Let's go!

I bend down to take the child in my hands but Rose stops me.

- What are you doing Natalie? Wonder Rose

- It is not seen ? I bring this child back where he came from!

- You yourself don't see that it is too small to be tossed from left to right? Go where you want to go when you're fixated on what's next you come back to pick it up and bring it back there. You're not going to lug around an infant!

- When they came to abandon her here, what were they counting on?!

- Any action taken in anger only attracts consequences. Nothing beneficial. Go calmly try to understand what happens then you come back Nathalie!

What she said calmed me down. I took the other from MOUKOURY with me and we went out towards the famous home. We struggled a bit on the way. From time to time he inquired here and there. He even had to call back his informant who no longer picked up. They proceeded by sms and eventually we found the home. I rang at that gate with rage

- (I curse) So far as to say “You won't see me again You won't see me again”! She was planning to kill herself?! When she spread her feet she didn't think of the consequences?

- …..

- (I press again with all my energy on the bell): But how is it here?! There's no one in there?! They're hiding ?! They thought we weren't going to find them?!

- Mom please take it easy…

- You leave me alone!

This time I drummed at the gate. Pouring out the frustration of my life, of my daily life under the helpless gaze of my son. The gate next door opens to a mature lady

- You are looking for someone ?

I'm too angry to express myself. Luckily Ken realizes this

- Good day Mrs. We were told this home was that of the ANDELA...

- It's good here but you can hit even with a club, no one will come to open you

- What ? Request Ken

- It was this very morning that they took the road to the airport. They immigrated to Canada

- (I feel the tears rising) No… NO! NOOONN!!!!

I crumbled as Ken tried to hold me up

- Is there a problem? ask the lady

- (Whispering) I'm screwed…. What are we going to do now?

- (Kendrick to the lady) You don't know if they have any family we could contact?

- Unfortunately I cannot tell you. We maintained cordial relations without more

- Ok. Thank you Madam

- (She looks at us still suspicious) Ok…. Good evening

She entered her portal while my son joined me on the ground full of sand

- They left us a child (shrugs) just like that!

Suddenly I started laughing overwhelmed. I laughed but then so much that I couldn't stop.

(Ken stands up and tells me to do the same) Mom, let's get out of here.

My fit of laughter bordered on dementia

- Mom, come on!

I laughed so much that I ended up crying. Helped by my son who was lifting me up, I cried a lot. He let me relieve myself so then we took another motorbike which we both got on and went home. It was when Ken shook me that I jumped

- Mom ! We have arrived.

- Eh ? What what?

- You fell asleep: We have arrived

- Okay. How much do we owe him?

- 1000frs

I paid then we went home. When we walked in, Rose was carrying the baby. She immediately got up

- He cried after you. Luckily they had the decency to put a bottle in his bag. I warmed up and gave it to him. He ate and he slept. So ? How did it go? Request Pink

I wiped away my tears and went to take this child from Rose's hands and sat on the bed without looking at anyone in the room.

- (Ken answers him) They left Cameroon this morning

- (She puts her hands on her head) We really abandoned you with an infant!

- Yes mum Rose

- And what are you going to do now?

- (I intervene then) We have to think about it. (I get up) Rose really thank you for everything. I'm going to ask you to leave us now. We have to get organized.

- Ok, no worries. Anyway I'm here if you ever need anything

- (I have a weary smile) I know. It's really very nice of you. You are the big sister I always dreamed of having. When we are settled we will tell you. For the moment, as you can see, we are still looking for our bearings.

- (While leaving) Of course, I understand

She came out and I immediately handed the child to Ken

- I'm going to knock him down Mom! I will break it. I do not know how to do

- You are going to make it. You have to get out of this. Hold on… no! Not like this ! Lay his head in the crook of your forearm… there you are, supporting his head… yes! Like that ! Good !

I lifted the mattress

- What are you looking for ?

- (I take out 2 purple tickets from a hiding place that only I know): that! I will be back

- (Alarmed) And where are you going mum?!

- Get him to eat. We're not going to let him die. Or ?!

- But he just ate norrr

- (I talk to him as if I'm talking to a 3-year-old child) Yes, my son, he's just eaten but in 3 hours max he'll be hungry again. You need milk, mineral water, baby bottles, in short, you have to take care of him. Stay with him, I'll be right back.

***Kendrick MOUKOURY***

I am paralyzed, I am frozen, I no longer feel my pulse. I carry this little being in my hands and I realize at this precise moment that I have someone under my responsibility. It's not just about mom and me against the rest of the world anymore. No. It's about mom, me and him…Angel…against the rest of the world. That's a lot of people to care about. Damn I'm only 16! How can I be a father at this age? I already have a lot of trouble taking care of myself. I couldn't see myself inflicting the same pain on someone else. To someone so fragile, so innocent!

- Oh Lord, I didn't plan that for my child!

The kid smiled at me. I lay him gently on the bed and watch him sleep. My phone rings it's Ornella again

- Hello ?

- It's good you found the house?

- Yes yes

- Can you explain it to me then?

- When will we see each other.

- I finished school. Can we see each other then?

- I can't go out there.

- Tell me the house and I'm coming

I point it out to him. Mom comes back a few moments later with her arms full of all kinds of baby artillery. She talks she talks she moves in all directions in the room I'm going to end up feeling dizzy.

- Oh yes, because we have to wash it! I'm even going to put his new basin here where eee? And the clothes! He needs some clothes! I didn't take any! Shit ! I hope that the bottle teats are good for the first age, huh

- (I almost scream): Mom stop!

She jumped up and the baby immediately started crying. She ran to carry it

- But why are you screaming? Here you made him cry… There… there my baby. What are we even going to call you?

- (I still have a wrinkled face) Angel

- (She looks at him with a smile) Angel… nice choice of first name. He looks like an angel indeed.

- His mother chose him

- (She frowns suddenly) She's going to spend her life giving us orders?! She abandons it to us and still imposes first names on us?

- I like Ange Nathanael

- Yeah, Nathanaël too, it's cute. We have to get him to draw up a deed

- Mom we can't keep it

- So who do we give it to?!

- I do not know ! An orphanage !

- Because you would manage to sleep knowing that your flesh is somewhere in the same city? Not knowing if he is decently fed? If he has clothes on his body? Could you look at yourself in the mirror?

- Because by keeping him we can guarantee him all that?!

- I struggled with you so you're going to assume with him. You are lucky that I am still alive. You have your little jobs. The three of us will get out of this, you'll see (looking at Ange Nathanaël again with a smile on his face) You'll see that we'll get out of this

She keeps it in her hands while I look at them both. I have the impression that she is no longer on this earth with me. I feel like she's disconnected

- (Leaning against the wall, hand over my mouth, one foot against the wall): We already don't know what we'll be eating tomorrow

- (She still has her happy gaze fixed on him): We don't, but he's definitely got his meal there.

- We're not going to get out of this

- (This time she looks at me) Stop saying that! Stopped ! If you stop being positive, we're really not going to get out of this. You must stay strong and brave as you have always been. Life hasn't smiled on us but you don't know how lucky it takes us with this little one

- You didn't say that a year ago

- A year ago he wasn't here! He wasn't even there one day! Now if. So we go with it and stay positive. If it is necessary to endure life and still see everything in darkness, all the better to kill yourself. But with this little being, I remain convinced that neither he nor you will suffer as I suffered. You didn't have the childhood that I always dreamed of giving my child. I will do everything to catch up with him

My phone started ringing.

- Who is it ?

- A friend

- In the eyes of the world, he's not your son, you understand?

- ….

- If she doesn't know anything about us and she wants to know, present him as your little brother

- OK…

I went out for the road where I went to find Ornella. She gave me 2 loud kisses on both cheeks

- How are you ? Finally you show me your home!

- (Scratching my head) We can't come into the house

- Oh, but why?

Me: Actually my mother just gave birth. There are people at home

- (She opens her eyes wide) Was your mother pregnant? How old is she ???

- 36

- Well Say so! She had you relatively early huh!

- Yeah…

- But why were you looking for Sydney's home?

- Can we sit somewhere? Come this side

I took him to a public cement bench where neighborhood thugs sometimes come to sit. But since it's still late afternoon, it's safe

- It was imperative that I give her back a document she had left me since last year

- I haven't heard from him for a year. Her line suddenly stopped working as soon as she got sick last year. Rumors have spoken of pregnancy but even seeing her with eyes to know nothing. We even went to their house with two other friends there last year to say hello, her mother told us that she was no longer in Douala. So you found it there?

- No no. I sounded tired finally I took the document home

- Oh! It's a pity to say so!

- Tell me something please Ornella?

- Yes ?

- You know that I give lessons and I clean at your mother's friend's house on weekends; But that doesn't give me much. Just 20,000 a month. I need more now that I have a little brother. My mother doesn't earn much… We're renting… Anyway, I think you kind of understand what I mean…

- I understand very well. I'll see what I can do I'll get back to you

- But please don't do anything illegal. If you really can't help me I'll understand

- Do not worry. We'll find something. Finally, how would you like to go out on Saturday evening?

- Ornella my current finances do not allow me

- (She rolls her eyes) You're always on the defensive! I invite you !

- I can not accept

- You have your pride as a man, I understand. How do you think I feel every time you push me away???

- …..

- You have nothing today but we don't know what tomorrow brings. I will never put money between us. All I ask of you is to try to see me as more than a friend. So think about it! Will you be in college tomorrow?

- No, I can't be there tomorrow. I will definitely resume on Monday.

- (smiling) If you want, I'll come by tomorrow to show you how to take care of your baby

- (I respond to his smile) You have class tomorrow

- The German teacher won't come. I can disappear at 2 p.m.

- And I say no. You are certainly going back to your class, but if you want us to really rub shoulders, you're going to have to get down to it for real.

- You could be my particular tutor….

- I don't think a parent would agree to a student teaching another student

- Mine do! I'm bad at math, this could pass...

She walks closer to me and puts her hand on my thigh

- So we would see each other more often….

- Ornella I already give lessons to 2 schoolchildren for 10,000 francs

- My parents would agree to pay you triple if you came to teach me at home

- (The bright look) The triple?

- And I even have my little sister in 5th grade. For the two of us you could have 60,000 francs.

- Up to 60,000 ???

- Yes. Think about it….

- Yes right away!

- (she is in heaven) So we start Monday evening

- Don't you talk to your parents about it first?

- They don't deny me anything. Consider yourself already my repeater

- I thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you do

- Don't thank me, Kendrick. Just live up to what I expect of you

****Nathalie MOUKOURY****

Ken returned from his visit with great news!

- You see ?! I told you Nathanael would open the doors for us!

- 60,000 francs mum?! Can you imagine all that we can do with it?

- Yes. I guess so. But remember that we must not splurge. A baby costs a lot of money. And you're in exam class. Focus and get us that degree

- I'm counting on it mum; I should hope so. We are not going to misery forever!

The other members of the mini city all came to greet the little one. Between the comments and the taking pity we ended up finally finding ourselves in complete privacy. I gave the bath to Nathanaël who was screaming at the top of his lungs under the gaze of his father then I gave him a bottle

- (I hand it to his father) Here! Give him the bottle

- (Panic) I don't know how it's going! What if he swallows wrong?

- (I answer calmly) I am here to guide you in this task. If there is a problem I will intervene

I cradled the little one against his father's chest and passed him the warm bottle

- But he moves a lot! Look how he screams!

- He's no different from you at the same age. He is hungry Ken. Put the bottle in her mouth

As soon as he did Nathanael calmed down and greedily shot him. Which had the gift of reassuring his father who seems to be starting to be comfortable with him in his arms. Nathanael completely finished his bottle and then I showed his father how to burp him. My son is a father... I am a grandmother. When will this cycle end?! I hope Nathanael isn't going to bring us back his 12-year-old baby. It's my fault too! If I had been more attentive and more careful about my son's education, we wouldn't be here. I was more focused on the management of our daily life.

-Ken?

- (He holds his son tight against him and strokes his cheek) Yes?

- Tell me a bit about this story with this girl

- (He scratches his head) Tell you?

- I don't need details. Just to understand your story, how long did it last?

- Some months…

- And you had unprotected sex only in a few months?

- Just once mum… She wanted us to try once too.

- But Ken in class, we don't talk to you about STDs, STIs and consort?

- (Red as a peony) If… We said to ourselves that after that we would be good…

- Here is the result of wisdom… In any case, I think you should get tested for possible STIs. After her, did you have another girlfriend?

- Nooooo!

- Ok. If you ever have one, please protect yourself! We must not exceed the cap of 3 here. At least not until you're still making a good living. Well he's sleeping. We're going to put him in our midst. You too should sleep there's class tomorrow

- I will not go. Who will keep it. you have to go to work

- And it's true. Tomorrow is Friday it can be done. But by the weekend we will have to find a solution to keep him.

- I thought that Mama Rose could help us for a small salary?

- I admit that it also crossed my mind but it is not a stable solution. We don't really know what she does for a living and sometimes she travels. When she's not here, what will we do? In short, let's sleep. I still have to justify my absence this afternoon tomorrow at the office.

And as I had predicted, a request for an explanation was already waiting for me on my post as soon as I arrived the next morning. I took it without filling it out and I went to knock on the door of the HRD

- Yes ?

- It's Mrs. MOUKOURY Mr.

- Come in !

I walked in holding the document between my two hands in front of my chest as if my life depended on it

- (He looks at me from head to toe) Yes?

- I have some conditions to set

- (Perplexed) Excuse me?

- (I'm all trembling) For a start I would like a 2 bedroom apartment, paid over a year and a salary of 300,000 Frs

He places his index finger over his mouth and looks at me for a long time. The silence is rather heavy, awkward, deep. He's gonna fire me? He will fire me. He is going to fire me!!!

- (I'm trying everything) And I would also like to have access to staff training like everyone else. If possible direct my career towards something other than the secretariat.

- (He finally opens his mouth, leaning elegantly against the seat of his chair) I agree with everything except the salary. If I raise you, it will be known. We'll talk about it tonight

- (Surprised) Tonight?

- Yes ! I invite you to the restaurant. I am not at the same time a bastard of the worst kind you know? I like to know who I'm dealing with.

- ….

- That will be all for now, you can go back to your post

- And…. And the request for an explanation?

- (Smiling mischievously) What request for explanation?

It took me a few seconds to figure it out

- (Repeating) You can go back to your post

I walked out of there still trying to realize what had just happened. Once at my post I tore up the request for explanation and threw it in my trash. Lord forgive me for what I'm about to do.