Plan

“Hello.”

“Hmm… hi?” Ethan sits at the side of the bed bringing breakfast, he looks terribly irresistible wearing only sweatpants. My eyes are still adjusting on the sunlight, I need to regain my energy back. “Is this an apology?”

“I don’t know what you like so… eat. Leah.” He offers a sandwich.

“Thank you.” I take the sandwich and eat it quietly. He fixed his gazes on me, we were eye to eye at some point and he put his finger on my lips, took me by surprised I flinch.

“Don’t worry, I will not do anything without your consent. I know I was being rough last night.” He pulls away.

“Wha-I don’t.” Hide my face in embarrassment. He’s making me feel uneasy.

“Don’t look at me like that. We have to attend classes.”

“Yes, you are right but I don’t have anything to wear.” I just realised that everything happens in rush, we have not decided on anything except for me to stay beside him.

“I-bring your clothes and everything here. Last night.” He explained.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because that will be easier for you and it is your last semester here. I want you to be comfortable.”

I look at him, he reflected on his actions and I am overreacting. “Ok, get me anything to wear.”

“Really? Here you go.” He gives out the brightest smile.

I have to smile, I have to be grateful for what he did but right now with what we have is only for our own benefits. I have to follow him from now on. We’ve talked about almost everything and plan his way out from the college faster so that he can leave this place, same as me. He treated me as his lover and he really did all of his tasks in classes, all of them think that I put on spell on him but all that it is his own efforts. Weeks after his offers, he really did transfer a huge amount of money on my account, we fight about that, I might need his money but not like this. He offers me everything else that he has, I want none of that but I am beyond happy on all of the things that he did for me. Suddenly out of the blue, he has to go back to his house in UK which the maid informed me, left me clueless, except for his car keys and the whole house. I wake up the next day, feeling in a daze as we just made love that night and he left, I heard someone is knocking and entering the room. “Ethan?”

“Hello. This is me, I’ve made you breakfast. I just pick up this eggs from the hen, this should be really nice.” She offers me breakfast in bed.

“When will he come back?” I have to ask. Even though I know she will not give me any definite answer.

“He-usually will be there for a long time… His mom conditions are getting worst. Miss Leah.”

“I see. Leah. You can call me that.”

“I’m afraid that will not be possible, madam will kill me. [Laughs] I better go. He asks me to give you this.” She hands me a note.

“Why didn’t he tell me what happen?”

“I-it will be best for you to ask him when he comes back. It’s complicated.” She stands up to carry the tray and leave me alone.

I stare at the notes on my hand, thinking to myself if it is a good idea to open it. I feel like this is the end of our relationship, I do not belong here in the first place, my heart starts to ache. “Not this again.” I try to ring him, no answers. I have to let it go, I put the note inside my wallet and head to my classes. My mood is disrupted, I could feel that time goes faster, lost my appetite to eat.

****************

He’s been missing for one week and my mind’s thinking about him, there is no one willing to let me know what happen to him except for the fact that he’s not here. I have to clear my mind, I sat down at our college park. I ignored everyone and stops talking to them, they will never understand my situations and I do not feel the need to explain to them anyway. I put on my songs to the loudest and continue to finish my assignment.

“Ly? Are you alright? Let’s go with us and have some fun.” Sheila taps my shoulder and sits next to me, she’s still with her lousy boyfriend, and high on drugs apparently.

“Are you sober?” I ask I am trigger by her actions. “Answer me. Shell.”

“What? Yes, I am, what the hell is wrong with you?” She replied.

I know that she’s lying, her pupil gets bigger and she has sweaty palms. “What did I tell you about this? You have to stop, this is ruining your life!”

“Bitch! Why the fuck are you yelling at her!” He retaliates. “We are having fun! Your party pooper.

“YOU! This is because of you, she’s like this.” I jump on him and punched his face. I have no idea what am I doing but I could see blood on my hand. I could not stop myself and keep on hitting him.

“Stop, Leah!!!! Stop! Oh my god. What the fuck, let him go.” Sheila pulls me away. “Let’s go. You’re crazy! Just because he’s gone? Everyone else has to be in bad mood??? You’re the one who fucked up Leah.”

I come back to my senses, everyone has their eyes on me. I look like a maniac and not acting like myself, pack my stuff and went back home. My head starts to spin and I could feel sharp pains on my left side, being typical myself, hurting others feelings and there are no solutions to this. I could not take it anymore, I better move back to my room, where I actually should be. He’s only toying with me, this must be it. There’s another car park outside, I have never seen it before but I choose to ignore it as I walk down the hallway, I can see a glimpse of a woman’s body standing talking to someone. She’s dressed in long red dress hugging her figures, her hair tied halfway revealing her neck and shoulders. “She must be one of them,” I said to myself, I’m bitter and trigger, it is best for me to stay away. She must hear my footsteps, turns behind and walk towards me and I stop walking upstairs.

“Well, well, this must be Leah. Hello. My name is Elizabeth, Ethan’s fiancée.” She holds out her hands to shakes. Smiling at me.

One word, only that is enough for me to know the whole story, this is the reason why he’s away. “Hello.” I shake her hand, I keep on my poker face and deal with it, I will be out from this house, I hold my tears I am angry and upset.

“Come and have a seat with us, I will be here for the rest of the year with Ethan, he likes it here. That’s a first with him which I could not fathom why but I heard you are a great tutor and the reason why he is doing well. I bet he’s a handful for you.” She’s rubbing it off to my face, claiming him.

There are more than two persons but there’s no Ethan, sitting there. I know one of them, he’s Ethan cousins, I have seen his picture. He gives me a genuine smile and greets me. I sit down and act naturally. “No… Ethan is a fine gentleman who learns to take responsibilities and this is all on him. I am not his babysitter.” I answer sarcastically.

“I’m sure he’s not. Anyway, this is for you. Extra pocket money, for your hard work for teaching him and providing his needs.” She pulls out an envelope. “We will go on a trip after this, so he does not need your service anymore.”

“I see.” Clenching my palms, I am used being degraded but this kind of insult goes way over the line. “Ethan, have given me his money and there’s no need for you to do so. I will be out of your way and I do not need your money. Elizabeth.”

“You!” She raises her voice.

“Excuse me.” I walk out of the living room, one of the maids gives me the looks, asking me to stay in the house. She follows me from behind quietly and helps me to pack. There’s something that she wants to tell me. “Why do you look gloomy, it’s alright, I understand.” I smile.

“She-have bad intentions and we do not trust her. You should stay here, wait for Sir Ethan.” She pleads.

“I have no right to stay here, you know that. Our relationships are strictly business, no more no less.”

“No, it is not true. He looks at you differently… he really cares about you, Miss Leah.” She tries to convince me.

“I know… but there are things we cannot control, now you’ve been a great help to me since the first day. Swing by at my college and we will have a drink.” I offer to return her favour. “For the last time, it is Leah.” I do not need any title on my name.

“Then, have you read the note?”

“there's no need for that. My work is done. This is Ethan car keys, can you give me the other key set, I can see there’s one car sitting there for months, I have tested it and it works. That’s all I need help from you. Here, this is all of the money that he gives to me in cash, this will pay off the car. Please let him know, if he gets angry on this, I will return the car.” I have a few things to bring but that can wait, my priorities are choosing myself and get out from his messed up life. She did what she had been told to and give me the car before I leave she reminds me to read the note saying that it is important for me to do so, I nod at her and head back to my hostel. The warden is kind enough to let me in, I paid him back for the rest of the months. Finally, I am in my bed. I have no one to talk too, my eyes are tired staring at the mirror and cries, and I have fallen for him. Deeply. I know now why I am not able to let him out from my head and why I am wasting my time with him, I am secretly hoping that he will feel the same way and he will come back for me. I took another pill for my headache, I need to sleep it off and forget about him. I took out the note and hold it on my hand, I need to prepare my heart for another rejection.

“I will be back soon, there are things that we need to talk about Leah, I care for you. That’s the truth. I love you, Leah.”

He loves me. That complicate things more than I could take it when he has someone else that soon to be his wife. My eyes get teary, I don’t know how I am supposed to respond to this. Wipe my tears off with tissues and sleep, I have to forget him. I woke up that morning, feeling like shit and my stomach feels queasy, I throw up in the toilet and cry. Heartbreak does not last this long for me, I can move on the next day, we are just a fling. From the start, that’s our deal but look at me, like the whole world is against me, I act out as a kid. Can’t believe any of this, I want him to tell me what to do. I could not even argue with him if he does. “I’m sorry,” I said to myself out of pity, this is all on me. Clean me up and put on the lightest makeup on my face so I would not look like a dead person and attend the classes as usual. Sheila’s been avoiding me at all cost, I would do the same if I was her. I do not blame her. This is all my fault.

“Leah, a word.” Professor Bob call me when I’m about to leave his class.

“Yes?” I ask.

“Do you know what you did?” He did not smile like he used to.

“I know what is this about, I’m sorry. Are they going to punish me?” I replied straight to the point.

“No, but this will damage your credit if they decide to, what is going on with you? Is this about that boy Ethan? You should stay away from him. Leah.” He warns.

“I’m sorry about what happened. I will not repeat it, I got two months left, I’m good, Professor.” Everybody has been saying the same thing to me, I get their message by now. “I only help him with his studies.”

“His father is not a good man, and I am worried about his intentions to you.” He adds.

“I know, Bob. I can manage this myself. I’m good, thank you. Is there anything else?”

“I want to see you grad, Leah. You’re a good kid.”

“Thank you. I have to go.”

“Leah? Have you decide where you want to go for your internships?” He stops me.

“Yes, I have applied to a few companies. I hope they will ring me.” I leave the room. I take a deep breath, trying to hold myself from breaking down. It was all over my head and I know nothing at all about him. I have to talk to someone to vent this all things out and since my best friend decides to go her own way, I am not ready to face her. I call mom and tell her I need to talk, she asks me to come home. So, the next thing I did take all of my thing and request for early leaves from the college, and submit all of my tasks in advance. I don’t want to hurt anyone more on this, I have to get myself together and stick to my original plan.