Avoidance

Hardin office.

"I didn't know what do you mean by that." I wasn't ready to fight with this asshole. He almost makes me lose my scholarships. "I will make up for the last time that I didn't come."

"You sure know how to answer. Aren't you?" He sits at the table, like a typical scene where it's always ended up the girl who's giving him a blow job. He's almost the same as the others. 

"I'll be happy to complete extra assignments. I can hand to you by next week.  Professor Hardin." I'm in no mood for his game. I want to get out from there. "If you excuse me. I have another class."

"Where do you think you're going. Leah. Remember. I score your mark and this black and white piece of shit will make you go far or flop for your entire life. So make me feel good or I'll make you lose everything that you have. Now, you choose…" 

He stands in front of the door, acting like a big man he does. All he cares is about his ego and rewards, for all we know. I have enough by a man pushing me around, I pretend to drop my pencil and give a kick to his ball or balls. I don't know, and I don't care. "Now, you're on the floor. Better listen to me. Hardin, I record everything that you said. Every single word you said to me. Don't ever fuck with me again or my friends. We will report you to the board!!!" Motherfucker." I kick him one more time, that was easy. I left him and straight to the cafe. I need to fill my stomach, getting angry works out your body. "I need to eat." 

"Hey! Leah. Look here.!" 

I swear to God if there's any more trouble coming.  I will make sure none of them lives, I still turn around and look who it is. It's Ethan. No, not this time.  I had enough for today, I need to find Sheila and make sure she's safe. Hardin could have threatened her.  I turn back and walk away from him, we could talk some other time. 

"Leah. Stop. You've been avoiding me. What happen?" He stands in front of me. Looking like a lost and angry puppy. 

"I have no word. We have a one-night stand and that's all. Ethan.  No more than that. It was a mistake." I lie. 

"Lie-- you're saying that this is all a game? Is that what you're saying. Leah? Answer me." 

He holds me too tight, I feel like my hands getting numb. "Yes, it's a game between seniors and ritual shit. Are we done? Happy now? Let me go. Ethan or I'll shout." I looked at him. Hurt and betrayed at the same time, I didn't know him at all. "Focus on your study. Ethan. You've promised your mom." I hate doing this to anyone, but shows must go on.  

"We're not done. Leah. You're scared. Of me. I know this must be hard but I need to talk to you. Please come with me." He loosens his grip, checking my arms.

"I'm fine. No, I don't want to be with you. I have to go back to Sheila. She needs me." That's the truth. 

"Alright. I'll send you and wait with you." 

"Why are you doing this Ethan. Why do you have to do this for me? I don't belong to you.  Do you understand?" This will make him go away, for sure and this will be my another nightmare. 

"I'll send you. For now, let me help you." 

He drags me to his car. I lost again with him, he's persistent. He did bring me to Sheila house and no funny business. That's odd.  

"I'll be outside, come to me when you're done and please don't run away. Look at you. Leah. What have you've been eating?"

"Sandwich. Thanks, I'll think about it." He's not getting a chance. He can wait all he wants. I ring, it's the maid, she's in the shower, I have to find her phone.  I was right. Hardin did call him, I dialled the number and made a report. Within half an hour, cops park the car outside and interview us. I handed them the voice note, pictures that he took of us. They said, the case will be open and he will be put inside.  I never thought I can hear those words. Sheila was shocked and loss words, I held her hand tight, hoping that she will know why I do this. She let me speak, on behalf of everyone that he ever does this thing. I've put an end to it. 

Showed him the bruise on my hand, I hope he will be sentenced for a long time. When it's all done, all I want is long hour in the bathtub. I need to be left alone. I still have a long way to go, they need me back at the station tomorrow.  I'll deal with that later. I look outside the window, he's still there. 

"What are you doing waiting like a stupid person"

Well, I could need a ride. He's my only option, shell is grounded, after that stunt that I pulled. His dad makes sure that Hardin will stay out from this place but she has a curfew. I'll stay with her as much as I could and make sure that she finishes her work. We don't have much time, I'll think about myself after this. I need to damage control.  

"Hey. Are you done? That-- was crazy. Did he do those things to you? I will make him pay. Leah. Tell me." His voice becomes stern. 

"It's done. I have to deal with the police. Let them do their job, Ethan. Can you control yourself? Now send me home, I have tons of assignments." I have to keep my act. 

"Leah… let me help you. Will you?"

"Fine." 

He helped me for the second time even when I'm being a bitch. "Ethan."

"Yes, Leah?" 

"I'm sorry. Alright, I've been thinking about this since the first time that he did this-- to me. I decided to keep it quiet but when he started to touch Sheila. I have to something, she likes the attention so she's the perfect candidate. Don't you think so?"

"How about your study? You said you needed him for your score."

"I do, but that doesn't matter. I can't take it back, it's done." 

"We'll see how it goes. For now, what you wanna eat?" 

"I want fried chicken, the spicy one and fries with milkshakes." I know this will make me feel better.

"Alright. Let's go eat."

*************

He looks at me as I gobble the foods in front of me, this is how I eat and I don’t even care if he thinks I’m disgusting. “What are you looking at?” I ask getting irritated. 

“I’m looking at you.” He continues to drink. 

“I know, I will pay for the food. You don’t have to worry. Ok?” I was molested but I don’t need his pity. 

“Just eat, Leah. It’s getting late. I will send you.” He takes a tissue and wipes it on my lower mouth. 

I was startled but didn’t flinch. I forgot what’s my goal around him, I want him to take care of me.  We did not speak to each other after that, he let me eat and take my time and when we walk to the car. he‘s holding my back with respect, a sign of protection. I could only look at him when he does all of this, I owe him. I have been holding on and keep these emotions to myself, I thought that I can do this on my own, I was not strong. After all. Ethan keeps his eyes on the road, I look down to his hands. I can feel my body heated up, it is not because of me, it’s him--- I feel the time just stopped and his face is glowing.

“We’re here… Leah, are you alright.” He looks at me. 

“Yeah? Yes… I am fine. Thank you, for the ride. I guess I see you at school.” I avoided his gaze. 

“Do you want to say anything.?” he stops me. 

“That’s all. Goodnight Ethan.” I give out my smile, sincerely from my heart and goes inside. I want him. So bad, but that’s will be difficult. I have to stay away from him. Tomorrow I will no longer have any feelings for him., that’s the last thing that I wish that night. The next day, news spread like jam in the bread, affecting the whole piece. Most of them, congratulate me for doing the right things but others think that I frame him because of the way he scored me. Sheila by my side the whole time, she’s worried that I will be attacked by the hardcore student that loves him. I’ve managed to go to every class with people staring at me like I am the flashy new toys, I do not like the attention. I can feel fingers through my hair and pulling it, I fell. 

Girl 1: Hey! Slut! Are you happy now, he’s in jail and you’re here free and wild? Taking your damn sweet time?

Sheila: Who the fuck you say slut! Hoe! Fake tits and shits. You better go before I put my feet on yours! Uh-huh… pack up and go  bitch. 

Me: Listen, I am going to say this once and that’s all. If you like or love him, fuck you. Go and live with him, don’t you dare touch me again. Do you listen? I have nothing to say or explain to you. We can go to the cops right away and rejoin your love one. I smirk. 

Girl 1: Awwwww!!!!!!!! That hurts. My hair. You deserve this! Just because you’re the ugly duckling in your group! urgh!!!

Sheila: Ly, that’s enough. We should stop. 

Me: I am… [pulls hands] now,  walk away. Comprende?

I let her go, not because I want too but I am holding back for my scholarships. I am on the line to being cut off for the report that I made. My results what save me but I will not tolerate any slut-shaming from anyone.  “Let’s eat.” tried to walk properly but I hurt my knees when she pushes me. 

“Leah, are you good?” Sheila wraps his hand on my waist. 

“It’s fine. I’m used to this. Where’s your boyfriend?” I wish she will never get to experience this. 

“He’s out there somewhere. I don’t know and he can wait. How are you going to survive today, how’s your leg? We have to go to the clinic.” 

“Nope… this is nothing. Shell. I was born with a metal body you know?” It was a bad joke but she laughs anyway.                  

“Then bleed oil, not blood. You are so silly! [laughs]” 

She’s looking better. We spend lunch and smoke in our usual spots. I think about Ethan again. I feel like this every time, something bad happens. He’s always there.  Sheila put on the bandages on my leg, that will help for a few hours. I’ll take care of it later. This will be gone in a few weeks, I will get through this. 

BZZ. BZZ. BZZZ….

“Hello?” 

“Leah, where are you?”

“Who’s this?” 

“This is your dad. Where’s your manner girl?”

“Dad-- I’m at school. What do you want?” 

“We need to talk, skip your class.” 

“Dad. I have to go to class. It’s important.” He’s asking for more money. For booze and gambling, I know it. 

“Fine, then wait at John steakhouse, near our house after eight. Better be there. Leah.”

“Yes. bye.” 

Sheila knew that it was him, she offers her car and money. For me to go and see him, he’s no longer be my dad when he left us. I have to say no to Sheila, I owe her a lot, I can take the bus there. “Hey… look at me. I will be alright. I’ll see you tomorrow. Promise?” 

“Promise me, Ly. You’ll be in one piece.” She’s worried. I know. 

“I have to go. Call me, if anything.” I hug her for the longest time and leave her.