Chapter 11: Mother Dearest

"Alex you really don't need to do this," I assure my visitor.

"Just shut up and admit defeat," he says.

Due to the dark, I only see a shadowy outline of Alex moving over to my bed. The light from the moon shines through the window at the perfect level to illuminate his face, looking expectantly at me.

"I'm not going so you may as well get it over and done with."

Begrudgingly I make my way over to him, “You are so annoying and stubborn Alex Rossa,” I mumble.

"But amazingly handsome, witty and all round awesome.” He opens his arms inviting me in.

"Big headed is the word that comes to mind," I tease with a small smile. He feigns anguish.

"You hurt me Cinderella."

Surrounded by a black fog with his face being painted by the moonlight, Alex’s eyes are exaggerated with such lighting. As they bore into mine, I notice tiny green flecks that hide among the hues of caramel, chocolate and mahogany.

"So, do you want to talk about what happened? You know, with your mum?" He questions.

Sighing I break eye contact and fix my gaze upon the opposite wall, determined not to let him see me upset.

“There’s nothing to say Alex,” I assure him, “It’s the standard case of one parents cheats. In this case the one doing the dirty ended up in Spain with a baby.” I shrug my shoulders to try and emphasise how uninteresting the problem is.

“I’m a child of divorce. Usually, we are angry but we don’t hate our parent in the way you do Rowan.” It feels strange hearing Alex using my Christian name, not one of the variants of nickname he has compassed for me. “And besides the point, if it was that simple you wouldn’t look away from me like that.”

I turn back to face him in an attempt to prove that he’s wrong.

“And your shoulders wouldn’t be raised so high or tense,” He gently places his hands on either shoulder before lightly applying pressure, allowing them to drop to a normal level.

Running my fingers through my hair I’m unable to think of a contradiction against his statements.

I try to remain light hearted, "I don’t enjoy this X-Ray vision you seem to possess, you’re seeing through me and I do not consent.”

"Can't help it. I guess it's just the guy I am," Alex sings with a grin. I chuckle at him resulting in an increase in size of said grin.

"You really don't want to be bored with my life story," I say, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them, “Besides, talking about this kind of thing isn’t really in the Rowan Steele nature,” I shoot him the best smirk I can muster.

"Oh shut up Rowan. I haven't jumped into your room, risked my life as your brother could come in any second, for you to keep everything bottled up," Alex squeezes my shoulder, “Besides, I need you in top form to continue our revenge battle.”

I begin to clench and unclench my hands as I wonder where to start. I have had no practise at this, no rehearsal. I have refused to open about it since it happened. Dad, Leo and Hannah just know it is a topic that is not to be addressed. The fragments they know and have seen are almost certainly enough to piece together a story, it is just not one that ever left my lips.

"I was nine,” I begin, “Dad and Leo went out fishing, they offered for me to go along naturally, but, I’ve never had the patience for that sort of thing.”

Alex murmurs something about knowing about my lack of attention span.

“I was in my room, it’s silly, I remember exactly what I was doing. Drawing a picture for Mum and Dad, it was a zoo because I so badly wanted them to get me a pet.” I giggle to myself, “Even if it was a lion that was going to eat me.” A familiar lump in my throat begins to form, I swallow hard, trying to get rid of it.

“I heard sounds from downstairs, furniture banging, I thought something terrible must be going on. I ran to the landing to try and find mum, I didn’t want her to get hurt from whatever was making the furniture rock.” I stop to sniff. “I saw her, but not with Dad. She saw me stood at the top of the stairs and told me this man dressed in a three piece grey suit was her doctor, making sure she was all healthy, but not to say anything to the boys – she didn’t want to worry them over nothing.”

"I didn't know what to do.”

I let my fingers fiddle with the fabric of my duvet cover. Distracting myself from the tears beginning to build in my eyes.

“I told Leo. One night, I waited until I was sure my parents were asleep before I snuck into his room. He understood what was happening. The next day whilst Dad went to the supermarket, he confronted Mum. She would get so mad something,” I curse myself as I feel a tiny pool of liquid make its way down my cheek, “But that was the first time she hurt either of us.

“Leo and I kept quiet for a few months. Leo kept saying that there are two sides to a story. But I think he was just worried what mum would do to me if he told. She got worse in those months, she got angrier more frequently, taking her anger out on us when Dad was out, mostly screaming at us and banishing us upstairs with little explanation.

Not long after my tenth birthday Dad and Leo went out on their monthly fishing trip. I confronted mum. I told her I was going to tell dad, and I was not afraid of what she would do. If she did not love him anymore then she should just leave.

She got mad. I had never seen her get so mad before.”

I desperately try to wipe away the tears but each one I rub away, there is another to fill its place.

"She grabbed me so tightly around the wrists and started screaming at me. I begged for her to let me go because she was hurting me. She just kept shaking me so fiercely, calling me an evil child and that if I loved her or dad, I should stay silent. I began to scream for help. I think she was worried that someone would hear. She hit my head against the wall as a warning.” I stop and let out a sob, “But that only made the paid and the crying worse. She kept telling me she would stop once I was silent and once, I had promised not to say a word. She must have hit me too hard because I lost consciousness and woke up in a hospital bed with stitches in my head.

She begged me for forgiveness, she kept saying how she was so sorry, she had lost control and that she didn't know what she was doing. When the doctors asked me, what had happened I couldn't bring myself to tell them the truth, so I just said I had fallen over and that I thought I had hit my head on the coffee table.

That night I told dad about mum's affair. There was a huge argument. He asked her outright if she had caused my accident and she said no. She revealed that she was pregnant and that it wasn’t his. How could a pregnant lady ever cause harm to another child? She moved to Spain with her new man and started a new life there.”

I begin to hiccup, a mixture of snot and tears streams down my face like some sort of waterfall effect. I am a mess. And it is Alex Rossa comforting me. He pulls me into a tight embrace, and I rest my head in the crook of his neck.

"It's okay," he murmurs.

"You can't tell anyone!" I whisper, "Promise. I don't want Leo or Dad to find out."

"Fine, but you have to promise me you're good. I can't have you being upset or I can't carry on with the revenge games."

"You are such an idiot," I punch his chest lightly.

"Yeah, but after tonight I'm upgraded to being the idiot friend," he smirks offering out his pinkie finger out to me, his way of sealing the promise contract.

"You can't upgrade yourself," I protest, pulling my somewhat masked facial features into a pout.

"Am I upgraded?"

I pretend to think for a few seconds.

"If you buy me an ice cream, then I think you can be the friend I hate," I say, putting my own finger out into the darkness.

"I'll take it," he chuckles linking his pinkie around mine. "But right now, you look like an explosion of snot and tears has gone off on your face. So, go clean yourself up Miss Steele, splash some water on your face and you will begin to feel better."

"I'm not used to you being a normal human being," I comment whilst getting up and leaving the room, hugging my arms as I leave behind the warmth of Alex.

"Good, because I'm not being nice to you anytime soon. It's a rare occurrence kind of thing."

"Lovely," I mutter pulling a face at him before leaving the room.

I make my way into the bathroom and splash cool water on my face. I massage my tear worn face and Alex is right for once, I do start to feel better. I grab the bobble off my wrist and pull my hair into a messy bun. Fatigue begins to take over my body as I stumble back in my room. Alex is gone. I see his curtains closing as I guess he is getting ready for bed. I am thankful, it probably would have been awkward had I come back after crying to him. I crawl into my bed and let my covers swamp me.