Chapter 6

Apparently that saying you can never run from your past is accurate as fuck, literally. I had never run so fast to a class in my life. I had my bag packed and ready to go five minutes before the class let out, and the moment the bell rung I shot out of there. It was absolutely ridiculous. I could face down a gun to the face, but the mere thought of having to hash out my past with the two people who, admittedly unknowingly, ruined my life and shaped me into who I am today had me running scared. It was pitiful, but I couldn’t be bothered to care. I would do absolutely anything to not have that conversation.

After I took off from Math class my next three classes had both Devon and Jesse in them. I had been successful in avoiding them all morning, but I was starting to get the feeling that my evading skills were about to backfire.

Stepping into the cafeteria was a nightmare. Everybody had their eyes on me, but it wasn't simply curiosity. It was curiosity mixed with fear. Normally I would love this reaction, as it meant that I was doing my job properly. People should fear me by just the mere mention of my name, that is if they had wronged my gang or myself. I didn't like regular civilians fearing me. It wasn’t fun watching people cower away from you the moment you stepped within five feet of them. This was exactly why I didn't want anybody knowing about my gang relations. I could pretty much kiss making new gang-less friends goodbye, which one of the main reasons I was so pumped about college. High school wasn’t exactly the highlight of my life, so I wanted a redo, a better experience, in college. Most of all I just wanted a couple of friends that weren’t related to the gang life. Don’t get me wrong, I had some really good friends, but sometimes I just wanted normal.

After all who would willingly involve themselves in a gang? Of course, my circumstances are completely different. The TBH was my saving grace, but they didn’t know that, nor did they need to know that. I refused to have people look at me with pity, so if push came to shove I would take the fear over the pity. I lived with that for a bit, the pity, before I put a stop to it. It was mortifying and angering at the same time. I could never understand how people could clearly see behind the lies, and feel pity for you and your situation. Yet, they did absolutely nothing to help. They felt bad, but not bad enough to do anything about it.

I soundlessly glide across the room to the lunch line, but before I can make it there I'm intercepted by Aaron. Aaron has been my best friend ever since I was in high school. I would honestly class him as my only family at this point. He and his family are my rock. His mother made sure she took care of me the best she could. She tried to say something to my parents a couple of times, but it never went well. At one point I thought that they were going to go after her, and that scared me so much that I begged her not to say anything any more. I only had a couple years left, and I was so sure that I could make it relatively unscathed to graduation.

When I was injured badly they would take care of me in their house. The injuries were almost never fatal, so we never went to the hospital. I knew that the moment they got the bill, my parents would flip on me, so we did the best we could with what we had. Aaron's mom would send him to school with an extra lunch just for me because she knew that my parents never fed me. Aaron and his mom were probably the only thing that kept me alive through those last couple years, and I will be eternally grateful for them.

He was actually there the last year my brother and Jesse were, but he never spoke to them. Aaron also happens to be gay, but don't let that cloud your mind. He's a very fierce and brutal fighter when needed. He's actually right below me and is third in command. I tried hard to prevent him from going into the gang with me, but he insisted that wherever I went he would also be. Because, and I quote here “Some body needs to watch that fine ass of yours. You couldn’t stay out of trouble if somebody paid you.”

He greets me by picking me up and spinning me around causing an embarrassing squeal to escape.

"Aaron put me down!" I demand while laughing.

"Not until you tell me how much you love me!" He yelled.

"Never!" I giggle.

"Do it!" he starts tickling me, and I know it won't be long before I start snorting.

Saving myself from that mortification I quickly tell him I love him, and he puts me down. "Why exactly do I love you?" I ask.

"Easy. Because I saved you from a horrid death by disgusting cafeteria food, and brought you some of your favorite." He evasively replies while dragging me to our table.

"No way! You brought Mom's enchiladas!?" I squeal loudly while jumping up and down. I realize I'm making a fool out of myself, but if they had tried his mom's enchiladas they'd be jumping for joy as well.

At this point I have completely given up hope of staying under the radar. I may as well own it. After all if I can’t have some fun in life then what’s the point? I stopped caring about people opinions long ago, well for the most part. There are still a few things that get to me, but I try to cover it.

"Yes, I brought my mom's home made enchiladas. She's really mad that you haven't come back to visit her." He says, as we come to a complete standstill in front of a table.

Completely ignoring the people who are so totally eavesdropping, I drop my face to look at the scuffed floor. "I know. I'm sorry." Aaron grabs my chin and forces me to meet his eyes, and then gestures for me to continue. "I can't go back there. I just got out of that hell hole. What if I run into Steve and Clare? I can't face them yet. I just can't." I can't even refer to my parents as mom and dad. They lost that title long ago. I feel like, if you don't act like a parent then you don't deserve the privilege to be called one. Let alone the fact that they didn’t even treat me as a human.

"Baby girl, why are you acting like you're scared?" Aaron asks.

"Because I am. You saw what I went through. I practically lived with you that whole last year, but I guess for your mom I'll suck it up and go back during break." I gave him a watery smile.

Aaron wraps me in a hug and whispers in my ear, "that's my girl, and don't worry I'll go with you."

We pull apart and I finally glance at the occupants of the table that just witnessed my almost break down. To my horror I see Devon and Jesse sitting a mere three seats away; meaning they just heard that entire conversation.