Chapter 9 - Confession

Confession

Pain teach me to become stronger, pain teach me to be wise but gentle, pain teach me to stay attach but don't give your full trust and...

Pain teach me to...love myself.

I resign to La Vales. And Zaijan accepted my resignation, I don't wanna give false news to everyone who's thinking that I am in a relationship with him; and I don't wanna make Troy overthink.

Its been a month since we last met. I stay away from him; and he do the same. They say he's abroad and doing some trips, maybe relaxing. And I know his fiancee is literally with him.

The first night I left his house, I logged in, in facebook. I stalked him and there I saw his latest live with Zia. They're both laughing and saying Hi. The video was short, but the pain hunted me. From that night until now. It's painful Troy, it is.

Maybe I was his pass time. He's just playing with me all the damn time, and it's Zia he's going to be with at the end of the day. I stalked him again the next day. I'm stupid I know, the next day I stalked him he's sitting at the sofa, looking at his prey which is the one who photographed it, the sofa is color red, they all say, it's Zia's house.

His eyes were always like that; like he's going to manipulate you. Till you're down on your knees, begging him.

He's dangerous. He's unreachable. He's too much.

The caption is : Once I left. Once I say , you'll leave. That's final and no turning back.

The pain spread from my heart to every part of me. My heart sank, I don't feel anything aside from pain.

He push me away, and its final. No turning back. No return. No undo. Only painful left.

I make my decision, its suicidal, its hard. Even though it's tear me apart, I needed to be strong, you need to push harder, you need to move on and forget.

You need to trust yourself more, and more

"Next applicant!" I got back from my deep thinking, I stood up and get a hold of my papers. I am applying at one of the biggest company.

I smiled widely after entering. They start the interview and I feel the light atmosphere I'm confident enough that I make it. They asked for my contact number and congratulate me.

I get out of the room and waited of the result; out of five, they'll jusy accept two. And thanks God, they hired me and the other girl.

"Congrats Miss Dela Torre and Miss Resurma,"

We hugged each other, and exchanged congrats, next week, we'll start out job. This is great! New work! New beginning!

"Yesha?"

"Grae?"

I can't be wrong, this is Grae. Troy's friend!

"How are you?" he look at me from head to toe. Like scanning me, and my changes. "What are you doing here at the Flores," he smiled.

I laughed, "I'll work here," and I pointed on the Flores.

"That's great! My cousin is the owner of this company, Andrei Flores. Remmember?"

I really won't forget him, he's the first friend of Troy, So Andrei own this huh. I'm again in an edge of my death. I was known as a playgirl back then. Damn!

"Andrei. Yes I remmember. We're from same high school," I smiled.

"That's great then. I'll get going," he said not even leaving an eye contact with me. He waves and enter the building. He's wearing jersey. They said he's a varsity coach right now; he pursue what he really love way back.

"You get in at Flores Chain of Hotels? God!" Dani started giggling about my good news.

"God! You applied as?" she asked excitedly.

"Cashier,"

"That's unusual. You're a Dela Torre and you're now in front desk? Gosh!"

"That's what's open eh," I shrugged, even if it doesn't suit my degree and such, I need to grabbed it. I still need to work and be efficient.

"Just work again at La Vales, I know Zaijan will love that," it's Dani.

"I'm not going to work at La Vales again,"

"Troy ain't allow to enter La Vales,"

I couldn't speak anything, even my smile fades.

I know that already, but I am still at the peak of my shock everytime, I heard about his name. He is so crucial for me. He probably having fun with Zia. Maybe they do sex and reach their climax while I am here, being so broken, lonely and sad.

"Im sorry Yesha. I didn't mean to say that," she shut her mouth using her own hands.

"I'm fine Dani. I'm still on the process of moving on," she smiled. I even saw how glad she is, before jumping on my bed. Or she's just acting to be cheerful so I'd be happy?

"YES! So you're joining me? Bar hopping?" she winked. I check my wrist watch and nods excitedly. Its just 8:30 PM and we can make our night hot and wild!

I wear a revealing dress. Tight black dress. Sweetheart nnecklin, revealing too much skin, not just the cleavage but also the half part of my boob. Dani's wearing revealing dress; and so am I.

We hop from one known bar to another, we're both enjoying, drinkinh and we're planning to go home when we can't even walk. We do our basic dirty games. And because of the liquor, I kissed different guys here at the bar. I'm sorry. I'm hurt and trying to move on. I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't act like these. But this is my body, I'll do whatever it flavors me.

"This will be our last bar," Dani's arms around my shoulder, when we got in, I know this one is fancy and expensive. It's a bar for rich people. They also have second floor. And when you stood up on there, you'll see the dance floor at the middle. I'm not yet drunk, because I can still praise this bar.

"Second floor," Dani on her usual tipsy but sexy look. She's really a good drinker, she can carry the liquor very well. I laughed and joined her, but before we could make it. Bouncers stopped us.

"Where's your VIP cards?"

We stare at each other, and both shrugged.

"Maybe we're not able to go in," she whispered. I didn't even know what to react.

"We can't get in?" I smile sweetly and I saw how the bouncer glance at my gland. I tilted my head so he swallowed hard; I know he's now seeing half of it.

"Lets go," and she forcefully pull me outta there.

"Dani!" I was so frustrated!

"I told you to flirt everyone you like. But not the old rats bouncers!" Dani rolled her eyes before sitting at the high chair, so I did. I closed my eyes, massaging my forehead, before asking the bartender to give me some drink. Dani's right though. But I need to go to the second floor. I jusy wanted to see... if the man I loved is there. I am hoping, I still am.

"So you moved on?" it's Dani asking me, while yawning.

I shook my head. "I still can't, but I know I will. Last dance?" I said before going at the dance floor. I heard Danica calling me, and I didn't even bother to look back. I was so desperate to move on overnight. I know it's so impossible, but I still wanna try. I'm too desperate. That virgin! Oh great. He's virgin, no more! I'M FUCKING SURE OF THAT!

"Hey beautiful," the half face of this man is in dark side. I can't clearly see his face, but his voice sent different emotions, and memories to me. I tiptoed and kiss his lips. I'm no more myself that's why I do this. I felt Troy's lips but this man's kiss is wilder, and the movement. This isn't Troy.

I distance myself, and I can see lust ruling his body, he touch my hips, down. He's touching my butt, I slapped his hands, and he laughed. Even the laugh. This ain't Troy.

"You look even hotter tonight Ayesha," the baritone of his voice makes me awake. I look at him, and he grinned. HIM !

"I'm your new boss," the way he look at me. Damn it!

SHIT! ANDREI FLORES!!!!

“Andrei,” the horror stained my voice, I didn't even do checking before kissing. Damn it Ayesha, that's your Boss! And wait— how did he know that?

“I thought you’re going to say thank you,” he touched his lips while looking at me. “But you kissed me. Hmm,” I saw how playful his smile is. I smiled awkwardly.

He look so bulkier. If before he have that bulky body, right now. It doubled.. He’s just not my type way back then, he tryna court me, but it's still ended up on rejection. I know I shouldn’t be proud hurting other’s feelings, but it's more unacceptable if I fake I love yous, and lied right?

“Im sorry sir. I was just too drunk,” I said, trying to be act normal, I try to excused myself, but he gripped on my arms. And because of the liquor, I can't even throw him outta my sight. I just look at him, in relax face, and in zero percent energy.

“You still fantasize Marquez, Ayesha?”

I don't know what to say, they way he speak foul words, I know it's an insult, and because of that. I can feel how his words dragged me to the past. When I was in highschool, I wanted yo seduce Troy, I tried and wished to be each other's first, I called him virgin and he call me playgirl, I kissed him, and he didn’t, but the next day he gave in. He kissed back and I want to gave in. But at the end of my games— I am the one who fell, who got hurt, who got broken. Like what happened right now.

“I don’t like him anymore Andrei,”

“Oh,” he find it amusing so he laughed “So? Can we go to my place?” his hands roamed around my hips, I can sense his wanting, I just stare at him and slapped his hands. Not another mistake, I don't wanna experienced it again. What happened between me and Zaijan is a mistake. I don't like the idea of doing it again at another guy.

“I'm on my period,” I sound so pathetic. Why if you're not on your period Yesha, you'll let him bed you? Bullshit!

He laughed, and pinched my cheeks.

“You’re a same naughty girl in high school.” He quickly bended and planted one kiss on my cheeks. “Have a good night,” he said and leave me there.

I was so stunned, not because of his kiss. But because of my actions; Imagined I kissed my soon-to-be-Boss!?

I go back to where I last saw Dani; I can't even walk straight. But she's not there anymore.

“Did you see my friend, the one who’s sitting here?” I asked formally.

“She left already with a guy, ma'am and by the way, she gave this,” and he gave mt purse and iPhone.

“It's your stuffs,” the bartender said, while staring at my chest. I rolled my eyes on him, and get my stuffs, I try to walk normal, Bullshit! I'm lucky tonight huh? For kissing my dumbass Boss and right now my Bitch friend left me!?

And I didn't brought my car! I'll really curse you to death Danica!

I go out to call taxi, even if I ain't sure if I can grab an UBER. My mom will kill me for sure.

“Yesha?” a car stopped by in front of the waiting shed I am at.

“Grae!”

“We're always saw each other. What are you doing here?” he looked at me from head to toe. And stopped at my dress.

“Your left boob is about to reveal” I saw how he started finding something at the bact seat, shit! It's awkward! This dress is too much huh! So much embarassing! Grr!

“Here,” he said, he's now standing in front, putting the jacket around my body.

“And you're calling for a cab, wearing that kind of dress. A'right, maybe tomorrow you'll be on headlines, gorgeous girl, got raped,” he even try to sound like an Anchor. I just laughed at him.

Grae is handsome, his looks can pass a calvin klein model. I know a lot of girl adore his body built, height and his appeal. Thick brows, thin lips, his brown eyes shows how playful he is. His expression is way different from Troy, Grae look so friendly, but a flirt one, and Troy seems so mysterious.

Grae is bulkier too. Like Troy, well. Why am I comparing him to his friend? Or to every guy I met?

“Let's go?” he asked me to go with him. I can trust Grae, co'z we are still friends, way back. While inside his car; we kept on asking about each other, he told me a lot of stories about his work, and how much he enjoyed being a coach.

We reached our house, and I stepped out of his car.

“Thanks Grae, for bringing me home,” I smiled.

“My pleasure, Takecare,” he said, I waved at him and he do the same. I entered the house and saw Dani's car at our car park, as well as Dani at our couch.

“I’m sorry. I'm sorry if I left you, I go with a guy at his place, and saw a bunch of men on his suite. I just left, I don't like gang bang,” Dani said, I just laughed at her. What a mouth.

“So what happen in the bar?” she's now ready to asked few questions, “And why Grae brought you here," and here's her iconic giggle.

“He just passed by and saw me,”I simply say.

“Oh, that's Troy's best friend right. Best, ” she emphasize the word "best".

“I know. But maybe Grae doesn't know what happened between me and Troy, or even if he knew about it, he doesn't give a damn, or care,” I said while stepping on our stair case, she just followed me.

“Ouch my head," I muttered a curse after I felt how worse my head is. I tried to sit but my head gets more heavier, Bullshit hangover.

I slept because of Dani's talks. Maybe too tired if last night's hang out.

My eyes were still closed, I tryna find my phone at the side table, it rings because of a call.

“Yesha,”

I didn't know what to say; it's Troy at the other line. Am I still dreaming?

“T-troy”

I can heard his breathing, I heard loud noises and music, his voice says that he's drunk.

“Troy!” I clearly call his name because he didn't speak again. Troy.

“I miss you,” that was like a beautiful music to my ears. I stopped myself, I don't wanna let him heard my sniffed. I miss you too Troy.

“But I don’t want to disturb you Ayesha. I just want you to know, how much I miss you,” he's out of control of himself. Maybe the liquor. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream right now.

“Ayesha. If I'll go back here, will you still accept me?” his authoritarian voice, who demands. I was like his prey, his peasant, I needed to follow his orders, before it's too late. I look at the ceiling and let my tears dripped like a flowing water.

He's hurting me...again. God Yesha, you're good at pretending. Really!

“Troy. Its better if y-you…..stay there,” my heart sank because of what I just said.

His breathe heavily again. Why am I pushing him away? Because I need to let go. For good.

I didn't heard how he dislikes my thoughts, his breathing is enough reason how he didn't like my idea and actions. I just dropped the call and let myself cry. I'll work hard, to forget him.

I can't help but think of him. Is he fine? Did he ate? Where is he? Who's with him? I'm definitely crazy.

I stood up, and took a bath. I prepare for shopping or to be go out again with Dani. I took a bath quickly, weating crop-top and highwaist pants I wore Vans to finish my style. I bun my hair after I blow dried it and left my room.

Dani's smiling at me, but her smile how pissed off she is. I stare at the lady at the couch, and saw the evidence why she's too pissed off.

“Zia,”

“Yesha! Its been a while” she stood up and smiled at me.

“Lets talk?” she sound mad and Im ready. I nods.

While she's holding a glass of wine, I can also see how her eyes shows sadness and pissed, but I know he feel more than that. I know her very much.

“I'm here to tell you, stop meddling with my fiancee,”

I know she go here to tell me that, but who is she to pleased me? I know Troy doesn't know about my feelings for him. But I’ll keep him.

“Sweets,” Dani put the cookies and cupcakes at the center table, serving the bitch a food.

“You still so talented Dani,” Zia smiled at her. I didn't even saw Dani's smiled; she just ignored her praises and sit behind me.

“I wont give him to you,” I said firmly, she just look at me and smiled. That smile, I know what that smile means. That smile was an insult! I'm not blind to see its meaning.

“You wont give him to me, are you insane? He’s my fiancee Ayesha Joyce. Troy is mine,” she's too calm while saying those, I envy her strength and calm side. But she still a bitch, even if she wore an halo. She still the most disgusting snake I have met.

“He isn’t yours, he doesn't even like you, not even a little bit,” I said, looking at her intently.

I saw how she is pained; but I can't feed her lies.

“If you think I am easy Yesha. You're wrong,” she's obviously threatening me.

“I can destroy you,” she really love doing this since before, but I am not threatened at all. I just laughed a bit at her, drink my wine and pour the half on it on her face. She got shocked.

“You may have forgotten Alicia. Who is the woman in front of you. This is Ayesha Joyce Dela Torre. “ I crossed my arms and look at her like I pity her. Well that’s true I really pity her. Too desperate. Pathetic.

“You may leave my mansion Zia. I will not let our guards get you up from here, so just leave here," I said gently, I didn't mind looking at her, even if she kneeled.

“I’m begging you. Give him to me!”

“I don't own Troy, Zia, and I am not the one who pushed you, it's him. Kneeled on him, not on me.” I sigh. “I am not a saint to be praised,"

Zia started to cry, she's now sobbing,catching her breath. But I don't have to do anything, or to comfort her.

She can still manage her posture. Even on her saddest expression she still look so beautiful. I don't know why Troy doesn't like her.

“If I'm in Zia’s shoe. I’ll do the same," Danica said while looking at Zia walks away, I touched the peak of my wine glass before sipping on in it again.

“She loves Troy so much," I shook my head, “But I wont give him to somebody...” and I drink everything on my glass.

Dani laughed and sit at Zia's seat.

“Did I look like her?” Dani did a little imitation, I laughed hard because of what she did.

“You look more decent," I stated.

“Ofcourse! I'm an angel, she's an evil,” she laughed and offer me her hands for a clap, I laughed while we're both talking about what happened a while ago, she keeps on praising me. I even told Danica that Troy called last night, I didn't tell what exactly happened, that still hunts me. It keeps on hurting me. I’m too harsh. I love him, but why I kept on doing something who'll hurt us both?

I pity Zia, really. But that doesn't mean; I'll give Troy to her, and at the first place. I am so in love at him; even if he doesn't knew that, I won't give Troy to her, And I have plan…

“Troy's going home next week. What’s your plan? Is these now a competition between you and Zia, and you know what; if you gave him one hug, he'll probably ran towards you, ” Dani said while browsing on her phone. While I am looking at my laptop, doing something on it. After checking my phone, I saw a pic of me and Troy together, I used it as a wallpaper on my lappy. My smile and his smile is genuinely! I love this picture. I'll put it on a big frame; if I'm free.

“Hey! What the fuck, are you listening?!” Danica said slapping my shoulder; she sees the picture on my laptop; and giggles.

“You've been acting hard to get, when you badly want him too,” she grin. I just take a look at the picture again. His smile sent joy, I touch the picture.

“I’ll keep you no matter what,” I whispered at the photo.

“INSANE!” Dani groaned.

The time ran so quickly, today is my first day of working at Flores, and today also Troy will be home; from his trip at Singapore. I'm running quickly, even though, I know I'm too early, the moment I stepped on the Hotel, Andrei Flores came in. I bow my head.

“Goodmorning Sir,"

“Goodmorning,” he said and continue walking. Not even looking at me huh? Maybe he's busy to have a little chitchat with me; and I hate that as well. The Team Leader, tour me around the hotel, she also gave me the uniform. It’s a red skirt and white longsleve been bended to the elbow, I also have scarft, and bun as a hair style, and there's a big flower behind the bun.

“Your face is way too seductive,” my workmate besides me complimented me.

“Your lips are pouty and thin, your nose is way too narrow and pointed, God even the lashes, that look so real though, plus your skin. What's your secret?” I just smiled and shake my head.

“Natural beauty,” I smiled, “We're both pretty though," I said politely, she smiled and nodded.

After a while someone approached us, few of them are about to check in, and some are leaving. I am serving them nicely; even though its just my first day. I needed to do well.

“She's gorgeous,” I overheard the waiter at the resto nearby our frontdesk. I saw how they glanced at me; so it's probably me. They were talking.

I just ignored it; I continue my work 'til my break. Mila, my new workmate stayed at my position; and I'll be having a break for an hour, and after that, she'll have her break too.

I go at the side to punch my time card. I get my jacket so I could leave.

“You're going out?” few employees asked me, I just nodded and I saw how his cheeks gotten red. 11:15 will be Troy's arrival; I needed to be there.

“You take care,” he said again, blushing a bit.. I nodded and leave that room for employees. Andrei bumped on me; the way he's standing that's screaming power. Well maybe it's one of the reason why Flores is indemand, because of the President's appearance.

“You're going out?” he asked. I know few of the employees were looking at us. I just make some excuses so he'd let me.

“I need to meet my Mom, Sir," that's what I said; not even asking for his permission, I just left him.

I get my car at the carpark; and hurriedly go at the airport. I am literally panicking, but I need to calm myself before I passed out.

I got there around 11:10, I'm trying to jumped a bit to see him. I've been wandering around the stations.I saw media at that part; so I ran therr still wearing the heels. I saw business tycoons walking inside and having an interview. I tried to search for Troy,and when I saw him. I jumped at joy.

“Gotcha,” I whispered at myself; Troy is wearing black leather jacket a white vneck inside, balck jeans and a brown topsider. I waved at his director; but he's not looking at me, he's busy talking with the girl beside him. The young business woman. Eco De Villa, that pissed me off. He can't even see me!

“Excuse me!” I even pushed few of the reporters.

“Come on Miss, don't nag! It's our work youre ruining!” the reporter rolled her eyes. I face her and laughed, insulting her.

“HA HA HA. Did I care!” and I continue trying to get on the front.

I have no choice , but to do this!

“TROY LAWRENCE MARQUEZ!!” I screamed, everyone looks at my direction. I'm so freaking out of my mind. I felt how he look at me, I mean everyone stare at me like I am such a hoe, screaming for gold.

I looked at my front and saw Troy, both of his hands are on his pocket, brows are meeting. But after few seconds he's now grinning on me.

The camera flashed, while I'm shedding tears, while watching him walk. I just ran towards him. I cant wait!

I hugged him tightly, he hugged me back. This is home. I miss him! I miss his smell. I miss him!

“Did you change your mind now, Ayesha Dela Torre?”

“Im sorry Troy, I’m sorry.” I said continuously. Honestly, I didn't care about what other people may say. I cupped his cheeks, I want him to know how much I love him.

“I don’t care about the pain you’ve caused me. I didn't care about those pain anymore Troy, I don't care about my pride anymore," my tears started to fall, he laughed while wiping it all.

“I'll love you freely, I won't think about other people, I'll only focus on you,” Troy hold my hands on his cheeks, caressing it, he smiled and nodded.

“So you’re going to be my woman from now on and till the end”

I laughed full of ecstacy and nodded.

“Im all yours Troy. Its been too long now," and I embraced him. “I love you so much Troy Lawrence. I love you so damn much. So mad and inlove with you Troy. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you,”

He let go of the hug, and kissed me passionately.

That one was full of love, smooth yet wild. We both let go and breathe.

“God. I wish for this moment a million times. “ he said, kissing me again.