Chapter 6 - Lost

LOST

“Where am I?” my whole body sore, I can feel how heavy my body is. Every part of my body is painful. I wander around and got shocked what I just saw. Okay what the fuck!

ZAIJAN ESQUIVALES!

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I kept on cursing him, he just stare at me, smilinh ear to ear.

“Goodmorning,"

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!” I can feel the hatred on my own my voice,I couldn't believe it! I saw all my clothes and underwear on the floor. What the fuck! I gave 'that' to him! How come Yesha! How come! HOW CAN YOU GIVE IN SO EASILY. SHIT!

“You were begging. I was also drunk,” he said, I don't even know if I can think straight, I just go to the bathroom and cry. How can I face Troy, now? YES. He has fiancee and it hurts me, but that doesn't mean I need to let a stranger fuck me!

I get out of the bathroom after an hour of staying there, thinking that the water will removed all the dirt on my body.

“I’m sorry,” it's Zaij. I just ignored what he just said, I let him see how frustrated I am.I just grabbed my phone and leave his room. While passing at the corridors I realized maybe I am here at Esquivales mansion.

“Goodmorning Ma’am” the maid greeted me.

“Where's the way outta here?” I asked. Idiot Ayesha!

“I’ll lead you the way,” I look at my back and saw a guy, tall and have a long hair, his nose and appeal makes him look a boyish yet angelic model of Calvin Klein.

“You were Zaijan’s?” and now he asked.

I shake my head. “Really,” he laughed, I didn't even find it entertaining.

“I am Cool by the way. Zaijan's cousin,” he introduced himself. I’m not asking, but I just nodded on him. He didn't even say a thing after that.

There's a tons of maids cleaning their house. I think maybe they'll be having a party, later or tomorrow.

“BRO! Your chicks?” one guy laughed.

“Nah. Red, Zaij's girl.”

He nodded signed of ending the conversation, from "i don't care" expression, I got shocked whenI saw five men enters the mansion. And my jaw dropped when I saw Troy Marquez.

“Grae, Travis, Kit, Seyn, Troy!”  Cool do the bro waves to those men.

“Cool. I need to go,”

“Ain't you asking permission to Zaij?”

SHIT! But I should act normal, I don't care about Troy's glared.He doesn't have rights to even get mad at me.

“I already did-“

“Yesh. I’m sorry, please,” I felt someone's gripping on my shoulder, and when I faced him, I saw how sorry he is, Zaijan Esquivales! he’s only wearing his boxer for God’s sake!

“Let go off me Zaijan!” that's a murmur.

“I'll take you home,”

“Look at you. How will you do that?”

“Sorry, but I can fix myself” he said, and that makes me shook my head.

The moment I felt a familiar hand on my waist; my heart hammered. I don't know what he is doing but at some point; it really affects me.

“Let go dude,” that was Troy, people who's cleaning watched a few while because of what happened; but quickly returned to their respective job when I stare at them.

“She’s my responsibility! I bring her here, so I'll bring her home," Zaijan trying to act cool in front of Troy, but Troy just mocked him.

“This girl is mine, back off,”

He didn't wait for Zaijan's response, he just gripped on my wrist and dragged me out of that place. My eyes started to water; I know at this moment he already knew what the hell is happening.

“Bullshit!” he cursed and punch the side mirror of his car, it got broken and I know it caused him wounds, but I don't know how to calm him.

“Is this your revenge Ayesha? Having sex with stranger?!” the way he pronounced those words, I know he's really mad. That's obvious. I started to cry, I don't know what to say.

“Is that a rape?!”

“No. He said, I beg,”

“BULLSHIT!” he's really so mad, his eyes darken. I know at this moment he really hates me.

“Get in,” that was way too cold. I don't wanna get in but he grabbed my arm and dragged me at the front seat, he harsh put the seat belt around me, and locked the door, the way he entered the driver's seat. I can feel how pissed off he is.

I don't know what to say, maybe he hates me now. But that was a mistake, I am wrong. But even if I acted like that, he still don't have a right to get mad. He doesn't have any right to get mad.

We both are silent, no one dared to speak, and he's not startinf the engine too. I just got shocked when he removed my seatbelt and hugged me so tight. The way he embraced my body; I felt how he embraced my flaws. It makes me remember what I was to him way back 5 years ago.

Now.. the only thing I have for myself. I gave it to a stranger. I sobs and that makes my heart heavier.

“Hush, Yesh.” he started calming me, but I kept on refusing. I kept on shaking my head.

“I’m so dirty!”

“No. You’re clean. Trust me. You are,”

*

"Real love didn't demand anything, you're fat, skinny, or not. Rich, poor, and whatnots. Even if you're sick and healthy. Everyone deserves to be loved, and everyone who loves you despite all your imperfections and flaws. They genuinely, sees your worth. They sees your worth! And they won't demand or ask for more. Because your existence is way too much, as a blessing for them. And they were lucky, so feel glad. If you have someone beside you right now, loving you for what you are. You are lucky."

Elders clapped their hands after my speech. They look at their partners; and I even saw how few of them cried while looking at their wives/husband.

“That was awesome Ayesha!” Mother Cynthia praised me. I just nodded and smiled at her.

After what happened to me and Zaijan, Troy bring me home, I saw how worroed he is. But I still won't forget his liabilities to Zia. As much as I am nearer to him; I'll always be labeled as hoe. I tried to get myself busy. I helped my Mom's foundation, and even visited Home for the Ages.

“We're we going Ma'am?” the Driver asked me.

“At Larck's,”

I don't wanna bother to see those people who won't do anything but judge me. I chose to stay here, I know Larck won't judge, and he'll understand, and of course. He appreciates my visit. He's the only one I know who'll still embraced me for what I am.

I closed my eyes, and think what happened a month ago.

“I don’t think so,” I cried on his chest.

“I’ll always accept you. I’ll embrace your flaws Yesha. I loved you so much,” he gently hold my hands. Showing how he'll shelter me.

“What about your fiancee?”

“I don’t care about her, just don’t leave me. Ever again”

That was the most sweetest moment we ever had. After that day; I know I'm smiling ear to ear. But I still can't think straight after what happened.

And after that day, I received an invitation from Zia. It's Troy and her wedding. I cried a lot while hugging my best friend.

“Zia told me, after the wedding they'll be staying at States, for good.” Danica said.

I didn't know uf I should believe what just happened. I just kept on crying 'til I'm done. I don't know what to feel. Or even do; I wanted to see Troy, asked him what happened. But that will surely complicate things more. I don't wanna give myself too much stress, I'm tired. Fucking tired.

It's wrong to own a guy, who's really not for you.

"Zia quickly fixed tge marriage after learning that you and Troy were doing good. And this asshole still agreed, freak and asshole in one wedding! Just don't do something petty Yesha, I'm telling you! Don't do anything that will harm you!" after her wrong advice, I just take that as a command, and I must obey.

She can think straight because she sees how miserable I am. She'll guide me, so I need to obey. I know it'll helped. There are three things they made me realized. (1) Don't give too mych, (2) Don't hope. (3) Don't stressed yourself, if they weren't for you, they weren't.

I didn't put too much effort on knowing about Troy's errands. I didn't even asked about him, or even try to search on internet. My parents also wants me to stay away from him, so I did. Love isnt sweeter in the second-time around. That was awful. Painful.

I opened my eyes and see Larck's grave. I smiled while caressing his name on it.

“I’m happy being single. It's been two months since you leave me, and it's still a wound. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you when you're still alive Larck. You really can handle all my bad sides.” I laughed but that was quick.

“I need to go first, please take care.” I said leaving him again. Visiting Larck really calms my mind.

I got to our car, and sit.

“Ma'am, it's been while since your phone rings. ” he said.

I get my phone, and it's Danica's miscalls. I called her right away, two ring and she answered it.

“You're looking for a job eh?”

“Yup. Is there any available?”

“Finance,”

“Yup,”

“Okay! Quick, you already have an interview. Here in our office! ” she said after dropping the call. I told my Driver to go at Danica's office. Luckily I'm wearing formal right nnow I also fixed my make up.

There are few ladies waiting at the interview room. Danica also told me it's the "President" who's doing the interview.

“Miss Ayesha Joyce Dela Torre” the Secretary called me. I breathe in, and walked inside.

I seat on the chair in front, two girls are sitting on there, with one guy.

“Goodmorning Miss Dela Torre” he's smiling evily, maybe he thinks he's way lucky cause he is here, interviewing me. Zaijan Esquivales!

“Goodmorning Sir,”

"You're in,” he said and stand up, the power of his aura! Damn it! " We only need one right, she is in," he's way too serious.

“But President,”

“If I say yes, it’s a yes. Congratulations Miss Dela Torre,” and he glanced at me.

"Sir, maybe that'll be a little unfair," I sais politely.

He smirked and rest his palm at the table while looking at me, the way he stares. Fuck.

“You’re too good. Miss,” his voice is a bit husky. I can easily say that it wasn't about the interview.

“Come to my office, after,” that was quick. I didn't even saw how he went out the interview room.

My jaw dropped after what he just told me, my face heated, and just ignored how I look right now, and what were the people are thinking at this moment. He is the President, he asked me to go at his office without a proper interview! What the fuck!

“ZAIJAN!” I yelled after entering his office, it's wide. There's a book shelves at the right corner, and set of Sofa in front of his big table.

“Treat your boss properly Miss Dela Torre,”

“I heard how applicants murmured, that was a bit unfair!"

“I’m the President here Ayesha. I’ll decide who'll I hire and who'll I fire,”

I didn't utter anything.

“And I’m just turning back the favor. Sorry for what happen one month ago. I know it's hard to forget what really happened that night. But let's just forget it,” he said. I don't know; but slightly I felt relieve

“Why did you hire me then? Why me?!”

“I wanted to see you everyday.” He said directly, while sitting on his swivel chair.

“You may go now. You may start tomorrow,” he said, sitting on the swivel chair properly, while closing his eyes.

I don't have a stable job right now, and I also need this, one more thing I don't wanna make Danica's effort gone to waste. Maybe I should just ignore what other people may think about me.

I get out of his office, not minding how other employees stare at me. Luckily, someone called me and it's Sister Milagros.

“Sister?”

“Hi Yesha. Are you going to the kid's event? I gave you the ticket already, right? They wanted to see you,” referring to kid at the Foundation.

“Oww. Okay Sister. I'll be there,”

“Thank you hija, kids will be so glad if they sees you in there."

I got at the venue 20 minutes late, but that's still okay.

While cheering at the kids who's singing and dancing, my eyes can't stop but to cry. They’re all kids who deserve to live, but they are diagnosed of a sick. They were sick. They're just too good at fighting, they eagerly wanted to live. And they were one if my inspiration why I'm still here.

“They look so happy,” I told sister Milagros, while wiping my tears.

"They're happy even uf Kaycee's ain't here."

“Where is Kaycee?”

“At the hospital,"

Sister cries while stating what happened to Kaycee, she's one if the most brave kid I have known. She kept on smiling even if her sickness are spreading on her body. I wanted to see the kid, so right after the concert ended. After I treated the kid's at their favorite fast food chain. I visited Kaycee.

I don’t care, if Troy owned this hospital.

“Room 98 VIP,” it's Sister Milagros text, I'm already at the 10th floor.

I get out of the elevator and checked each room, I can't stop my heart to bleeds.I remembered how she smiled. Kaycee deserve to live.

I knocked on the door but when I opened it, there's no one inside, except Kaycee. She's sleeping with all those tubes that's connected on his nose. I stopped myself from crying. A healthy Kaycee, is now here laying helplessly.

Why does she's suffering like this. She’s so kind, and loveable, and she's still so young!

"There's no donor, if we still can't find one. There's nothing we can do for Kaycee,"

I look at the man in my side, I wanted to stop my heart from aching. But it just couldn't stop.

I try to act cool, via nodding my head.

"I know you'll visit her, that's why I checked her. She’s a strong girl.”

“She is. After her parents abandoned her, she still managed to smile," my voice broke. "... everyone I love, they'll leave,"

“Im here,”

“You're already married,” bitterness is what I can do for now. I heard him laughed, that's why I stare at him. Is he insulting me?

“In my office. Miss Dela Torre,” and he left the room. Before following Troy, I caressed Kaycee's cheeks, and assure her everything will be okay.

“If I'll be your donor, will you live? Of course you will.” I smiled at my own question.. “Right Kaycee. I know you can,"

I followed Troy on his office, not to hear about his air and whatnots. I am here to asked him a test, I'll be Kaycee's donor.

“Troy-“

“Sit down Yesh,” he commanded. I look at him and just ignored how he stare at me.

“I want to test myself Doc. Maybe I can be Kaycee's donor,"

“Yesha. No,”

"Are you my guardian? And one more thing, I'm old enough to decide for myself!" He hoarse a laugh. The guts of this man!

“You look like a child, still a kid,” he's staring deadly on me, he opened his drawer and show me something.

“Your Mom is selling your land to me,”

I got shocked because of that. WHAT THE HELL! “I’d like to buy it, and name it on you,”

We're here to talk about Kaycee, and right now we're talking about properties. Okay, that's a way quick.

“No thanks Troy. You can't fool me again,“

“When did I do that? You’re the one who fool me. You make me believe you love me. And Zia just do some show, and you believed it. What the hell Yesh. Ain't you trust me?”

“You told me she’s your fucking freak fiancee! And I know you'll get married to her,"

And now we're talking about his wedding.... though. What? A show?

“And you don’t trust me! You didn’t even contact me!”

He messes his own hair. That makes him look more extra attractive. I don't know what on his hawk like stare, and it really attracts me.

“I don’t want to talk to a liar!” that was way different from how I stare at him though.

“See?! Be mature Yesh. Why don’t you try to hear my side first, before listening to bullshits!”

“Are you saying that I am a stupid?!”

“You’re not stupid. You’re selfish!” he continue messing his hair, and gaze at me. But the way I saw how sad he is on his eyes, it easily melt my knees. “You didn’t love me enough, so its fine if you left. It's okay if you leave me, because I'll still beg for you, I'll still ask for your kisses, I'll still want you. I'll still chase,"

I didn't speak, he look si tired of everything but he kept on trying to act cool. Even his eyes shows indifference. It's full of admiration, tiredness and begging. Three different feeling in one pair of eyes. Troy Marquez.

“And you’re working under Zaijan’s company? Why don’t work here?! I need a Finance team too! You can be the leader if you want to” His eyes is full of desperation. I refused.

“I need money, if my Mom's selling you our properties, I'll earn to buy it for my own."

“You don’t need to buy it from me. I named that after you," he stood up, removing his lab-coat, I saw his name at his lab coat. He’s a successful Doctor now. While I'm still here busy fixing my problem, a crazy woman, and jobless.

“I don’t need your charity Troy. I need my house,”

“Marry me then,”

My heart skipped a beat, he is speaking ridiculously. I know what he is up to, to show me his riches, to show me he can buy me. But he won't. Even if he's telling the truth I won't still care, he's too complicated.

“Marriage ain't a game you should play Troy, and you have a fiancee,” I emphasize the word fiancee. Just so he wake up, I am not the one he should marry.

“I refuse it. I can still say no, I know that will accept that. I am not his liabilities anymore, I already have my own hospital. I am not a kid anymore, I can decide who'll I marry,"

I didn't speak anything. Even if that's a bit relieving, I still maintain my angry eyes. What now Yesha? Just a few words, you'll give in?

“And if you don’t want to marry me-“

“Yes. I don’t want to marry you. You hurt me a thousand times. What do you expect? I'll believe you, I'll quickly ran towards you in an open arms? Built your own piggy bank. Earn me”

I get out of his office, I speak like a shit.

“The last sentence is just a joke!” I said before finally closing the door. I don’t see his eyes, but I saw how he smiled. That jerk!

I now started to hate my mouth. It really dragged me into trouble. I wanna cursed myself.

I go back on Kaycee's room and see she's already eating.

“How are you Kaycee?”

“I'm okay Miss Ayesha, I'm just a little bit bored here,"

“Do you want me to buy you sketch pad?” I asked smiling at her, she excitedly agreed.

That pest! I forget to asked him about my tests! Damn it.

“Good Evening Doc,” the volunteer smiled.

“Hi Miss Dela Torre. I just realized what you have told me,” he approached me and whispers on my ear, the way his breath kissed me. God. “I’ll earn you. No matter what,"

Sometimes... we really won't understand why our actions is a traitor of our own mind.

“You're lucky, I'm jealous." she started teasing me after what I told him about my interview at Zaijan's.

Danica is in finance team also. She's the Head's secretary. And that's her boyfriend; also a member of La Vales.

“I'm a bit nervous, what would the employee will think about me?"

“Of course they'll give malice, he is the President for God's sake, by the way. What does he tells you?”

She smirked and slapped my shoulder, that isnt hard, bur that hurts a bit. She keep on giggling about what happened.

“You did that?” I am shaking my head on disappointment, because of the way she reacts on my stories, I didn’t even remmember how we do it. But what I remembered, I got tired the day after we do that. Well.

“What about Troy?” because she asked that, I instantly heard my heart hammered. Shall I tell Danica what happen last day?

Ofcourse! She’s my bestfriend! So I started telling her the whole story. And she got confused as well.

“So, Zia and Troy still ain't married?” i shake my head as an answer. “Gross,” react niya before slicing the steak, I shut her mouth because it's quite loud. She's more shock than me.

“I'm now so confused! So are you saying you are in the middle of doubt between the two playboy? Zaij o Troy?” she has this voice that instantly can make me think about what I told her, and got pissed. Well, I am not stupid not to see Zaijan's intension. But Troy, is dangerous. He can do anything, and he'll get what he wants. He has big confidence, successful , rich, and manly. He have the money, connections and looks same as Zaijan Esquivales, my boss, powerful, and handsome. They are both playboy. And they were both hard to read and handle. But Troy is vulgar, he'll say whatever reaches his mind. He own what he thinks is his. And I am one of those thing, he "claimed" as his property.

BUT. I’m not a thing. So its hard to please me. Oh. I have a say always.

“None of the above,” I said laughing a bit.

“You’re a piece of shit Yesha. I admire you,” she shook her head, still smiling. This girl.

“Good afternoon, ” I greeted my co-employees, few of them ignored me, some smiled and look back. Well, I don't care.

I just focused on my work, and what our team leader gave me, and he congratulate me, cause I can easily adopt and learn. That's why I am smiling while on my break, at least my first impression as an employee, is good. Dani is way busy, that's why I won't nag her.

I am with my co- team and employees, though sitting way far from them. I overheard their talks about me, I'll just ignore that. You don't need to please them Ayesha.

I wanted to stop these people who kept on saying bad things behind me. I wanted to see Zaijan and talked with her. I want to clean myself. But how?

“Flavor of the month, I guess. That's why she got hired that easily,” I overheard again. Freak, they're talking about me. And I am here, if I'm still the old Yesha, maybe I slapped her already.

It's already in 35th floor, I'll go meet the President, I'm still not late though. The elevator clicked so I went out, I heard them murmured again because I'm walking towards the President's office.

It’s a glass door, I open it and it reveals the beauty of his office.

He's sitting on his own swivel chair, while handling papers on his hand, he is massaging his forehead. Stressed huh?

“ZAIJAN!” my voice echoed in his room. He look at me with those frowned look.

“What brings you here Miss Dela Torre,” he set aside all the papers and pour me his full attention.

"My workmates thinks, I am one of your girls!”

“Then?”

I look at her directly, I didn't even see humor on it.

“I don't want them think how petty I am,”

“So what do you want me to do? Fire them? Okay right a way,”

“FUCK ZAIJ! I don't fucking understand! What are you doing, what are you up to?”

He looked at me, like I was a puzzle that he needed to solve.

“Fine. Then I’ll let them think that their speculations are true. Lets have snack together,” he said seriously, he stood up grabbing my arms again, he dragged me on the elevator, there's still few employees sees us together, he clicked the G and waited 'til we reached the Ground.

He hold my hands, gripping on it tightly. We entered the cafeteria and everyone got shocked because of what they saw.

“Quit playing games Zaij,” I said firmly, he just smirked.

“You think I love playing games. Nah.” he grabbed my waist and everyone got shocked because of what he just did. He pushed my body near him.

“Zaijan Esquivales, is officially dating Ayesha Dela Torre. Any violent reaction?” he look at his employees, he smirked. “Good” he chuckle.

“Nice,” that familiar voice makes my heart skip beating for a while. I removed Zaijan's hand on my waist and stare at Troy. Fuck!

I felt his hatred and his anger. I heard him groaned while seeing me so close with my boss. I walked away from Zaijan, and I saw how angry his expression is. His thick brows are now in one line. I’m scared that he’ll get hurt from what he sees.

“Is that your big shot Zaijan?” Troy asked while Zaijan is just behind me, Troy grabbed me and pushed me near him. Oh man! He can even make my knees fell.

“Stay away from her Troy,” I saw how Zaijan smirked. Troy just laugh at him.

“I don’t let anyone, touch what’s mine. Yah get that?” my heart felt joy. What the hell is happening.

“She’s my employee Troy. And you’re in my La Vales!”

“I don’t care.” Troy hold on my hands. He look at me with that angry eyes. He try to smile, but I know him so much. He cant hide his anger.

“She’ll resign right a way," he said.

“TROY!” im so dissapointed. What is he saying?

“See she don’t agree in your bullshit idea, dude. Just let her work in my company. That wont step on your ego, right?” that's Zaijan. At this moment I know how mad Troy is.

“Zaijan please stop,” I look at him, his expression won't change.

“Stop talking at him Ayesha Joyce. We’ll talk,” he said, getting off my hand.

Zaijan walks towards me and smiled.

“You’re not a good liar Yesha,” he tapped my shoulder, and kissed my forehead. Before Troy could react, Zaijan left the cafeteria.

That was a huges scene!

I breathe heavily before eyeing the guy who's very mad right now.

“TROY!”

“What the hell is that?” again he’s so sensitive he didn't even try to wander around and see that we're on public. For God's sake!

“I knew it. You like him more than me? You let him court you? While me I nees to earned you? Yesh, that isnt right. I need to earned you, while him! Damn it!”

“Troy calm down-“

“How will I calm down! I already proposed! And you let that man court you! You said, you isnt a kid anymore. What the hell is this. Tell me!”

Few people look at me, I don't even know what to react. How will I calm the angry beast. I don't even know. I want to assure him one thing. But I'm helpless, I can't do that. I was stuck thinking and yelling at my body to do some ways. But I couldn’t. Is this part of my anger at him too? Am I still mad?

“I thought you'll understand all my reasons, I just hope you could do forgive me. Is that hard to forgive?”

No. Troy. No. I just…

“Damn it” I saw how frustrated he is the way his palm makes it way from his forehead down to his chin. “If I try to compete with Zaijan, will I earn you? In that way will you forgive me, will you let me?"

His eyes is full of emotions. He’s so sensitive it's very evident on his eyes. His eyes that's transparency, shows what he is feeling right now. Is he like this at other girls, or just on me? I like the second choice.

“Troy this isnt a game nor a match. This ain't a battle so I could announced for a winner,"

"Lion's are greedy and rude, I can turned the table if I want to," I don't know why I feel ecstatic.

“You can't let people like you, by just using your powers. You can't buy anything-“

He hoarse a laugh. “Let’s see then,” he said while dragging me out of thay place, he pushed me inside his car and we left.

My chest is aching. Whatever he do, ill accept it. No matter what is it. I’ll accept it. Nah. I’ll embrace it. Troy Marquez…I’ll embrace it.