Devastated

CHAPTER 11 | Devastated |

My most hated Month of being a grade 12 student came. Do you know how it sucks to do the things you don't want but you have to? Argh! Frustrating!

"So, it's October!" As soon as our teacher came in, I was immediately taken aback, I knew what he was going to say. Talk about it on campus today.

"We have a calendar at home ma'am." I whispered softly, my first day of October was disgusting.

"You know what's going on at the music fest, don't you? No one is exempted unless you have a serious sore throat. I don't care if it's raining, storming or your voice is like a goat's voice as long as you all sing." I let out another deep sigh, my other classmates shouted in delight, as we moaned because we didn't like the event.

Music Fest is a tradition of our campus, when you enter grade 12, being a participant in Music Fest is a requirement for you to graduate. Every third week of October the event takes place. No one is exempted unless your reason is valid.

At Fest, we sang one by one on stage, it was graded so it had to be great. Favor for those with singing talents, what about us who have no jewels in that talent? I'm confident to face people I'm pretty used to the crowd, but singing in front of them is what I can't. Maybe singing I was just a storm!

"I'll post the criteria on the announcement board later. Remember, it scores a lot on your grade so you should take it seriously. You choose the song you want to sing, and that song should state or express the yourself or what you want to tell someone. "

Even though I didn't want to, I paid attention to the teacher. I don’t want to say anything to other people, I just want to sing myself. Or any song as long as it doesn't cut the root in my throat.

"Before Music Fest day you will all draw who will sing first." The population of grade 12 students at Love Academy is over 120 so it's not possible if the event is just one day. It'll be divided into two like the usual.

After class we went to the cafeteria to buy food. We only bought burgers because we had no intention of staying in the cafeteria. After we shopped we first went through the announcemnt bored to look at this year’s Music Fest poster.

When I first read what was written on the poster, I didn't like what came up to me.

You can invite your family to this awesome Music Fest.

I laughed to myself when I read that sentence on the poster. I folded my arms and took a deep breath.

"I'm not going to invite Mommy and Daddy they have work on that." I slowly looked at Lian when he said that.

I feel like my chest is getting heavier, it looks like there is acid poured inside me and I want to vomit. Even if I didn’t want to, I couldn’t help but feel jealous for Lian. Her parents love her so much and it’s super cool. It's not a big deal for him if his parents don't come because he feels that they love him and support him.

Am I right? When will I experience that. I guess it will never happen. 'Cause it never happened.

"Congratulations Mara Elaisle, you are the top 1 of the class!" I will carry that news when we get home. The smile on my face will never go away because I know Mommy and Daddy will be happy when they find out. Continuity

-continued until third and fourth grading it is possible for me to be the valedictorian of our batch. I'm sure may dad will be proud of me!

The smile immediately disappeared from my lips when I opened the door to my parents shouting upstairs.

"Your client Alfred! Yes she's just a client!" I heard my mother shouted upstairs.

"Yeah, client Maui so what's with your boat blowing up there!"

"Is there a client whose meeting is that long ?! Huh!" I was about to go upstairs but Nanay Sita stopped me immediately.

"Mom, why?" Surprised I asked, I don’t know why mommy and daddy are shouting.

"They're just arguing Elaisle, have a snack first." I looked up, they were obviously fighting. I took a deep breath and let the parents go.

After I had dinner alone I went upstairs, I don't know why Kuya Mike hasn't come home yet, he always tells Nanay Sita if he will be late coming home. He always says if he and his sister Chloe have a date or if they are studying with his friends. Earlier when I asked Mom, she said she didn't know. Daddy didn't look for him either because he was busy and hadn't been down since before that they were arguing with, mommy.

I sighed, it bothered me a lot that in sleep I had difficulty. I thought that tomorrow everything would be fine too, but yesterday was just the beginning.

Straight two weeks when my parents were fighting, when I came home from school I always found them shouting at the top.

"Show me your grades when you're valedictorian ah ?! Also make sure to be on top of your classmates, don't just imitate kumare's son, pass it by. Don't get upset now Mara because there are many more I'll take care of the paperwork! " I almost screamed, Daddy. I even went into his office to show him my grades that were released two weeks ago but that was his opening.

In my fear I just ran back to my room and there I cried and cried. I tried to understand Daddy like I always did. He was just stressed at work and in his fight with Mommy so that's it.

But whatever consolation I had was still painful. I feel like my parents don’t love me, I feel like they even prefer other kids to be children because they always compare me to that. I felt useless, but I still tried to understand them even though the situation only got worse every day.

I also noticed Kuya Mike's changes, he always comes home late, sometimes I'm just surprised because I see him with bruises on his face. When I was in third grading, my grades dropped a bit, I was affected by my parents' quarrel but I didn't use that as a reason for my failure. I blamed myself for not doing my best, I still lacked.

Even more surprising is, Big Brother Mike. From being an honor student to suddenly being the last in the class. Because of that he was punched by, Daddy and repeatedly mined. My two eyes could see it clearly, I could also see how my older brother didn't fight back and just looked at Daddy badly.

Sometimes I don't want to go home because I already know what I'm going to get, it's a miracle that the house is quiet sometimes.

"Our financial is unstable do you think I would be happy ?! Where does your money go ?!"

"Where else is Maui ?! Edi in this family! And why are you just questioning me? How 'bout yours ?!"

"Kuya is everything okay?" I asked even though I knew the answer, I'm hoping that everything wouldn't be so bad even if that's not what I see.

My older brother's caress makes my hair close. Tiredness and pain were obvious in his eyes. "Everything is okay Elaisle, don't worry." I nodded to my brother hoping everything would be fine, hoping everything would be fine as he said.

"Sister Chloe isn't visiting here anymore ah? Is she okay? Are you both okay?" The older brother took a deep breath before answering.

"Everything is okay," he answered.

I had a chance to talk to, Mommy. I also asked him what I asked Kuya. They just have the same answer, that everything is okay.

I believed in that. I believed that. Not until that day came.

I went to NBS alone to buy my school project materials, no one could come with me so I had no choice but to be alone. Since the house was in turmoil, I have learned to be independent. I helped Mother Sita cook, cook, and do household chores. I also tried not to ask Kuya Mike for help when I had projects that needed drawing. I just felt that everyone in the house has something to do, so I slowly trained myself to stand alone.

After shopping for things to use, I found myself in the food court of the mall. I bought my favorite food there at the food stall of a famous pastry store to eat.

I was about to leave when I caught sight of, Daddy. I thought I was just mimicking but I wasn't. What I still wonder is that he has a woman with him. They were laughing happily while Daddy was carrying a branded paper bag of women's products.

I felt something hit my heart when I saw Daddy laughing, I suddenly remembered mommy I saw crying just the other night. The corners of my eyes immediately warmed with tears.

One blink and my tears started to fall. I tried to calm down and thought maybe it was just his client, daddy. No, my daddy can't have a fixture. I quickly wiped away my tears and immediately secretly followed Daddy. I hope my suspicion is wrong, I hope it's just his client.

Arriving at the parking lot, my world continued to collapse. I saw my dad kissing the girl in front of his car.

It's devastating, I felt so devastated.