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Friday November 18

The week is finally over, I didn't leave the office late tonight and I can't wait to enjoy two days of well-deserved rest. So much for glamour, I'm already in my pajamas, lying on my sofa wrapped up in my favorite plaid. It's almost 9 p.m. Big Brown Bear and I have been texting for quite a while now.

Big Brown Bear: For the moment, apart from going out for a drink with some friends, I don't have much planned. I have reserved the next 24 hours for you, my pretty...

Cancan09: I have until what time to make proposals?

Big brown bear: Let's say... 10 p.m. Know that I have already prepared a whole list for you, you can already connect your webcam.

No, but I'm dreaming! How pretentious! I can't wait to bring it back down to earth...well, I really hope the enlightenment I had last night is okay, or I'm on my way to making a fool of myself for the next 24 hours.

Cancan09: By the way, I've been wanting to ask you for a while: why did you choose this nickname?

Big Brown Bear: Because I'm pretty tall, I'm brown, and I can be a bit gruff at times too.

We continue to discuss like this and every message I receive always contains a bit of teasing about his ultimatum. At 9:57 p.m., I send him the following message:

Cancan09: Okay, done playing. It's almost 10 p.m. and I have to admit that I've exhausted all my leads. I'll let you join your friends and I wish you a good evening... Gabriel.

My heart races when I click send. It may be silly but I really got into the game and I can't wait to receive his answer. I've been tossing and turning all the information in my head and I'm pretty sure that's the right name. Now, I admit that if I was wrong, I dread all his future requests. I don't think I'm as playful and mischievous as him. His answer is slow to arrive, which only accentuates my stress and my impatience, but when my phone finally starts to vibrate, I don't wait a second longer and quickly unlock the screen.

Big brown bear: Well shit then! How did you guess?

I let out a shrill little cry and stamp my feet on the sofa like a kid. I don't care, nobody can see me and judge me and then I'm so happy to have managed to surprise him! He who was so sure of himself... You always have to be wary of my perseverance, it's one of my greatest qualities.

Cancan09: When I told you "you're an angel" and you answered me "you don't think so well say"... it took me a while to understand but when I solved the riddle Last night, I told myself that I was going to make you languish until the last minute. You see, it's not just you who likes to play...

Big Brown Bear: Huuuum... don't say things like that to me, it makes me want to play all kinds of not very Catholic games with you even more.

If there's one thing I've learned all week, it's that Gabriel never loses his bearings. But that's not necessarily to displease me.

Cancan09: So I'll let you throw down your little list of challenges and I'll keep my webcam warm! And since I won, I'm entitled to a favor, right?

Big Brown Bear: Whatever you want sweetie...

Cancan09: Give me back my place for Coldplay!!!

To my surprise, he didn't answer right away. He who is usually so spontaneous and teasing remains silent for a few minutes.

Big Brown Bear: Look, I'm really sorry but I can't. I already gave it to my sister and I can't take it back. But I promise you to look for another and to offer it to you to make me forgive.

Cancan09: Forget it...it's not that bad.

Big Brown Bear: I sincerely hope that all the messages we sent each other weren't just to get the spot back. I really liked getting to know you and discovering you little by little, even if it was rather unexpected and even if it's quite funny to exchange messages like teenagers!

I am surprised to read this last message. Apparently Gabriel thinks I used him and even though we don't really know each other, it pains me. I am always sincere in my relationships and sometimes even a bit naive. But I've never been manipulative. I'm beginning to like it and I don't want us to dwell on this misunderstanding.

Cancan09: I absolutely don't want you to think that I used you because it's totally wrong. Of course, I dream of finding a concert ticket, but beyond all that, I too had a good time chatting with you. But now that I've guessed your name and you won't be able to tease me with all your challenges, what are we going to say to each other?

Big brown bear: Ahahahaha don't worry my pretty! At worst if we have nothing to say we will find a way to take care of you and me, right? On the other hand, I have a serious request to make this evening... I would like to have your number and that we stop writing to each other on this forum, and then I really want to hear your voice.

How does he manage to make me blush with a simple message? I really feel like I'm back in my teens except this time, I'm not in the shadow of my so-called friends who put me down to make themselves interesting. No, this time I'm the heroine of my own story and no one is stealing the show from me. I'm free to be myself, I don't pretend to be someone else to beg for attention. Today, I hide behind a screen to be free to reveal myself completely.

I respond positively to his request and he promises to call me during the weekend. Me, I turn off my phone and only one question runs through my head: is it possible to wake up with aches in the heart and zygomatics? I'm sure it did, my heart has skipped way too many leaps this week and my lips have never stretched so much in such a short time.

When the weekend comes to an end, I have mixed feelings. I spent an excellent Saturday with Sandra, going on chat sessions, window-shopping and going to the movies, but my day on Sunday was more than awful. I went to visit my parents, which is my monthly chore. As usual, my father barely spoke to me and just ignored me all afternoon. Don't be bad-mouthed Candice, he still called you a whore when he discovered your new look, which proves that he laid eyes on you for at least five seconds... Record broken! My mother meanwhile spent her time telling me how much my lack of ambition distressed her.

"I will never understand you my poor Candice, how can you settle for being just a sales assistant when you can become a salesperson or even a sales manager?"

I know this tune by heart now. My mother is a strong, ambitious and proud woman. She lived only for her career and managed to climb all the ladders that she had set as her goal. She started her career as an HR assistant in a small local company but she quickly felt cramped in this quiet little life that did not make her happy. She therefore took the risk of resigning and surveying all the major companies in the Paris region in order to get the best job possible. And she succeeded. She quickly proved herself in a large automotive group and over the years she managed to make herself indispensable as director of human resources. She has been poached several times by headhunters who have brought her golden places on a silver platter. Having always dreamed of being independent, she ended her career by creating her own HR consulting business and then left it in management when my father forced her to retire. Professional success is nothing less than the success of a life according to my mother. Everything else is futility. I'm here to testify! Professional success is nothing less than the success of a life according to my mother. Everything else is futility. I'm here to testify! Professional success is nothing less than the success of a life according to my mother. Everything else is futility. I'm here to testify!