The letter

“Well, that was interesting to watch.” Brandon said, acting like his normal self. “Never knew you play.” He said coming forward while the other two just stared at me in shock.

“I used to.” I corrected him while skating over to the barrier and pulling myself up and over to the other side. “Used to?” He asked watching me unlace my skates. “You used to play ice hockey?” He sounded astounded.

“No, hockey without the ice.”

“Why’d you stop?” He was asking way too personal questions for someone who doesn’t really know me.

“Don’t you think that is too personal?”

“What, you don’t like talking about it?”

“No.”

“You don’t trust me?” I just had to roll my eyes.

“We just met, what makes you think that I am going to share my personal stuff with you?”

“Okay, fair enough.” He said lifting his hands up in surrender. “But I just want to say this, you rocked out there. I don’t know why you stopped playing because you would be one hell of a player.” I watched him walk back up to his confused friends.

I then looked at Jonah who was just looking at me. “You know he has a point right?” I just gave a sigh and walked up to our bags. I slipped on my sneakers and shoved our stuff into our bags before making our way home, or just outside where Meredith was waiting for us in her car. “Hey, guys!” She greeted while rolling down the passenger side window. “Uh, what are you doing here?” I tried not to sound rude but heck I couldn’t help it.

“I finished up early today, thought maybe you guys would want a ride.” Jonah was in before she even suggested giving us a ride home. “My dad wouldn’t like me to climb into a stranger’s car.” Meredith just looked at me with a blank face.

“Should I call your father and get his approval?” I just had to smile, it seems like Meredith got game. I opened the passenger door and slipped into the passenger seat.

“So, how was practice?” Meredith asked driving off home.

I just shrugged while Jonah explained how fun it was and that I think he is a good player. I don’t know why it meant so much to him what I think of him. “And there was this bully.” Meredith's eyes went immediately wide at Jonah’s comment. “But Sasha took care of him.” She looked at me with a jaw hanging wide open.

“Don’t worry I didn’t beat him up, I did it the Adams way.”

“And do explain the Adams way.”

“I challenged him to a game.”

“Guess you won?” She asked quirking an eyebrow.

“It is the only way you can channel down someone who has a cocky attitude. All his friends were around, so it was easier to humiliate him through losing a game than kicking his ass.” I explained and watched as Meredith looked at me funny.

“What?” I asked raising my shoulders, not understanding her weird expression.

“I just always thought you were the ‘beating up’ kind.” She admitted with a shrug.

“I am but I can’t do that with Jonah around,” I said looking out the window, she knows how important Jonah is to me. I know we are not blood relatives but it was fun having him as a little brother. He was the only reason why I haven’t thrown Meredith out of the house. Jonah loves my father and he needs a father after everything has happened.

“I admire you for that.” I heard her say softly.

She pulled up in front of our house and shut off the engine. I grabbed my bags and got out of the car walking behind them into the house when we found my father looking at us strangely.

“I’m going to take a shower.” I murmured not enjoying the awkward moment. I was brushing my hair walking towards my wardrobe, I placed my brush down when my eyes landed on my old hockey stick, sticking out from the wardrobe. I wanted to burn it the minute my mother got sick but she begged me not to.

I pushed the hockey stick back into the wardrobe when I noticed it was caught on something, I pulled the stick out thinking I could find another way for it to go back when a big brown box came with and dropped onto the ground at my feet. Papers scattered all over the floor, with a scarf that belonged to my mother and some of her jewelry.

I placed the hockey stick back where it came from and crouch down to pick up all the papers when my eyes landed on a golden envelope with my name written on it. It was written in my mother’s handwriting. Why haven’t I seen this? I picked it up, noticing the first time my hand was shaking.

I lowered myself onto my butt, crossed my legs looking down at the envelope in my hand. I turned it around and carefully tore it open not knowing what to expect. I unfolded the piece of paper when a photo dropped out onto my lap but didn’t care about that now as I realized my mother has written me a letter before her death.

“My dear Sasha-Lee

Cancer has run its course, I’m dying and there is nothing left that the doctors can do for me. You were so young when I got hospitalized, I tried to hide the pain from you but in your eyes I saw that you already knew.

Daddy told me that you quit hockey so you can spend more time with me and that you started blaming God. It’s not His fault that I am dying, he actually gave me life the day He gave the most precious gift of all He gave me, you.

All the doctors only gave me a few years to live but God gave me extra years to live, so I can watch you grow. The doctors even told me that I was crazy to get pregnant, that I will die but I survived. Your dad knew from the start when he met me that I was sick but he still stood by my side and loved me

And that’s why daddy is also going to be sad, we know each other from high school and we never left each other sides. I was all he ever had, you remind him of me. I may look like a mother that got everything in place, but I was also a “bad” girl in school and that is how we met.

Don’t be too hard on him, he will find himself another bride because he will feel lonely and you must treat her good. I know you won’t want her as your mother, but still welcome her to the family. You will always be my baby girl and your daddy will always be my first love. But honey if you have met someone and they are taken away from you, it will hurt so much and you will feel lonely. So give your dad some time, he will come around you always knew he doesn’t show his emotions. Just love him and try to comfort him make him see he is still loved and blessed to have a daughter. He will need it more than you think.

I think it is a guy thing.

Look after yourself. And I will always be proud of you baby girl, no matter what decisions you make. But I would want to see you strive in the world, getting a scholarship for your hockey and be on the first hockey team of girls. I know you will be the best, through your hard work I have seen how blessed you are and I want to see you fulfill your dream. Don’t stop living because of me please, please continue living it is all I want you to do for me.

I love you forever and always.

Love mom