Her tragic past

For a second, I felt relief this was my dad, I haven’t seen him since I was 4years old. I wanted to cry, but then I took in my appearance. I was completely paralyzed and not in fear, but from something else. Why was my legs and arms so heavy? I couldn’t move, “Daddy, I can’t move. Why can’t I move” I called out to him but he just stared at me, this isn’t the man I remembered this isn’t the man that played hide and seek wit me and Mikayla.

He turned his back on me and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He stared in front of him as if he was extremely deep in thought. “You never came back” I looked at him, but I could barely see him in the position I was lying in. “I wasn’t allowed to” He turned his head slowly, “She told you didn’t she, and where’s Kayla?” I had no idea what he was talking about, who told me what? But giving him the news about Micky would be insanely difficult “I don’t know who told me what daddy? And Micky passed away in a car crash when we were 14 years old together with uncle Dylan” My father turned without any emotion and slapped me so hard my ears started ringing “Your little liar, where is she? And your fucking mother Keira your fucking mother told you what I do for a living. She left, because of what I do. But do you know what? She stole my children. And you are just like her, you are just fucking like her. I can’t stand to look at you.” He spit out those words dripping with venom. My cheek hurt, and the tears burnt my eyes. He wasn’t the same and I needed to get out of here. Those words broke my heart, for years I thought my dad was this incredible man, strong and brave who loved us more than anything. But I was wrong. “I swear daddy, the truck hit their side.” He didn’t let me finish he just slapped me again and again. He left after and I laid there crying myself to sleep. Please Keegan I want to go home I kept saying in my mind. Knowing that he would never hear me.

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours and hours into days. My father had someone come in who would inject me with a neuromuscular blocking agent I knew surgeons used it in the hospital. It would make me completely paralyzed I would just lay there. I tried to talk to him, but he would come in give me food and leave, the guy that came in to give me the blocking agent must've been a doctor since he placed in a catheter as well. So, he knew what he was doing alright. But he wouldn’t even talk to me, but I never gave up hope. I kept believing that Keegan would find me. He loved me, even though I knew I was underservant of his love he never gave up on me. I started laughing thinking back on how I wanted this time to be a trust test. Now if this isn’t a trust test, I don’t know what is. It was the most frustrating feeling in the world, not to mention worst thing ever. Where I would literally feel hopeless and useless. I tried to busy my mind with memories. Happy ones, and then tried to figure out what it could've been that turned my father into this, or did I just as a naïve child try to dream up certain scenarios of him. Was I imagining my father this way all these years? Why don’t I have any bad memories of him, and why did my mom and dad never have a disagreement and yet we left.

My father came in after a couple of days of me being there when I decided to ask him straight out. “Daddy why did you and mommy never fight or have a disagreement? I just want to know since I am in this relationship with my boyfriend and we disagree a lot.” He turned around and I saw a frown on his face when he answered “we fought all the time. Nothing I ever did was enough for your mother.” I shook my head, since I didn’t remember any of this. “Did you guys argue when we were asleep then? Because all memories I have is where we used to play hide and seek together, me and Mikayla painted your nails and did your makeup and braided your hair.” I started chuckling “do you remember when we made you look like a clown and you started tickling us? We used to have so much fun together, didn’t we? My father started at me like I was fucking crazy, “I never did that, we never played Keira. I was too busy working and so was your mother, we never played. I don’t have time for that shit.” I felt confused. I distinctly remember us playing, is he mind fucking me right now? He started chuckling “fuck you are crazy, that’s how you remember me? I should me honored but all you are to me is a piece of ass I get to sell to another gang. That’s all you are. And I would stop with the injections as soon as you tell me where your sister is. He clearly still didn’t believe me. Wow, maybe I am crazy. But then again, if he was a terrible father that would mean I had severe PTSD which isn’t something new. But I do know that post traumatic stress can cause false memories, and that memory aberrations are characteristics o PTSD that much was told to me by my psychologist back in the day. Sometimes certain events are so dramatic that your brain deals with it by making up fake stories to help you deal with it differently. This of course could also be something called confabulation where you subconsciously make up stories or memories to conceal your memory loss. Either way I knew I weren’t crazy, because even if the stories were my 4year old mind making lemonade from lemons I did love my father. No matter what he did for a living.

Keegan’s P.O.V

I had all of us get together, it was time for the truth. I couldn’t find my little Kitten if I didn’t know where to start looking. We all sat in my father’s home, and at first, we were all silent until I decided to start talking since no one else were prepared to speak up I would. “I need to know where to start looking, this was purely kidnapping. Someone knew exactly where to find her, and I need to know how. Who would be looking for her?” I looked at Madelynn who had tears stream down her eyes “I don’t know where to start. Every single man I ever dated or gotten married to had it out for her. So where do I even start.” I looked her dead in the eyes “start from the beginning, her dad. Let’s hear it.” She wiped the tears “Catalya’s real name is Keira-lee I changed her and Mikayla’s name when we ran from her father. Mikayla was so different from Catalya. Mikayla had a speaking disorder named selective mutism while Catalya had a psychological disorder all due to PTSD caused by their father. He abused both of them, I didn’t know about it at first of course since I was building my career I worked long and tiering hours. But when I found out all about his secrets and lies, we ran. I didn’t stand a chance neither did my babies. Catalya has memories of her father that does not exist, he never played hide and seek or let them do his makeup it’s the PTSD that made her form memories that does not exist. She isn’t crazy or disturbed or anything, it’s her way of dealing with it.” She took a sip from her coffee and continued “So many lies, I was young in love and naïve, He never told me he was the real deal biker type, he told me he’s a business man and me not being able to be around all the time I believed him. So, we moved to his hometown and I worked in the city it was quite a drive back and forth and I was so tired, so I never really paid much attention. It turned out he was the dangerous type of MC and he had two families. He abused my babies and I caught him righthanded. That day I lost it; he didn’t know my father was an ex-marine. An he told me first defense and how to punch someone. And that day I lost it; Catalya remembered that day as a phone call. No There was no phone call just me almost killing him.”

She started opening up and telling us everything, every single man that she ever dated and what they did to Catalya. I looked with new eyes at Madelynn even though shad terrible taste in men she always put her children first no matter what, she told us about what happened the day of the accident that Mikayla and Dylan passed away in and how traumatic it was for her and Catalya and how they both dealt with it. The court case where he was sentenced for the sexual assaulting a minor, and how she an Dewaldt fought like hell through all of it. I had new respect for this woman, for being the strongest mother and just like My little Kitten taught me the lengths any mother would go to protect her children. This was all new prove of this. But I also understood Kitten better the day when she told me I wouldn’t like what I see once I have broken down her walls. What she just didn’t understand is after all of this, knowing exactly what her struggles are and how she dealt with them. I understood her better and my love for her only grew because now I knew she is the strongest and bravest person I knew. And she is the complete testament of your past does not define who you are, you define who you are.

After she told us about Catalyas tragic past, I set out to start looking for each motherfucker. Some were already in prison; she gave me names and that’s all I needed I would break down doors for my little Kitten. Her father would be my last stop because with him I’ll need my own army. Madelynn stole so much of his information back then, after she found out what he did for a living. That, that part would be the most difficult. I had to do that one by the book. So, the police would have to be involved, but in the mean time I am visiting some of the fuckers that hurt my little Kitten and even though I shouldn’t love to admit this I am enjoying this. “You scare me, I mean fuck Keegan. Did you really have to do that? You tortured the guy, that was sadistic” I turned to Kade but Collin smirked.” We’ll talk again when you fall in love, and you know someone hurt the one you love. And I’ll have your back no questions asked. So, stop questioning me.” I needed to find her every waking second without her became worse and worse. And I was losing my mind. We had one last stop, her father.