Chapter 9 (70)

Allison's POV

"Just shut up, Ross. ", I told him as I pushed myself closer to his body.

I needed the escape, something that could help me feel a little bit better. I knew this wasn't an act of sanity but who says I can't be insane? If I want to, I will lose all the common sense I have with him. I just.. I love him and as stupid as it sounds, I loved someone who wasn't even born yet, about whose existence I found out only a few hours ago. At moments like this, you can't help but feel weak and generally betrayed. You don't even know what or who betrayed you but it stings badly inside of your chest.

Tears roll down my cheeks at the thought of miscarrying and I bury my head into his chest while riding him to our relief that isn't to come soon if I keep feeling this horrible way. This kind of making love hurts.. The ties we have are threatening to choke us.

Ross' eyes turn worried as he brushes his nose against my cheek. "Why are you.. ", he begins with a whisper but stops when somebody knocks at our door.

"Ross. Allison. Can I come in? ", Lucas' voice startles me and I shiver. My boyfriend wraps a cover around my shoulders and attempts to pull out of me but I grip onto his shoulders and lean my forehead against his.

"I don't want him. Please stay here with me. I need you. Make him go away. ", I sob and bury my face into the crook of his neck, blonde locks of hair tickling my own.

"Ross! It's about Raymond. ", Lucas shouts yet again.

"Raymond. ", Ross whispers and I pull my head away from his chest to look into his eyes.

His arms wrap around me fully as he sits up with me still on his lap.

"Allison, I have to. ", he purposely raises his hips from the mattress to meet mines and my head falls to his chest. "This wasn't a good idea anyway.. "

When I stay quiet, he strokes my hair gently and runs fingers through it while kissing the top of my head. I wrap my arms around his waist tightly.

"Okay. ", I sigh and kiss the middle of his chest, feeling him shudder. When our eyes meet, I can't help but ask.. "What you said about me not being a virgin when we,.. for the first time, did you mean it? "

Ross' breathing changes as he tightens our embrace. "Don't be mad at me.. Please. "

I take that as a positive answer even though it wasn't specfic and keep the eye contact between us.

"But.. It was Lucas, wasn't it? "

Ross stays silent and looks away, shaking his head no. My teeth sink into my bottom lip. How..

"When did we..? ", my shaky voice asks. "How old was I? "

Ross leans his forehead against mine and gives my lips a quick peck before whispering a word. "Fifteen. "

"What? ", Lucas' voice raises from behind the door and both of us break from our trance. Ross quickly raises me by my hips and places me next to him.

"Wait. ", he shouts for his friend on the other side of the door whom we've copletely forgotten about.

I cover myself with the heavy quilt and Ross grabs his boxers, tugging them up his legs. I can't help but giggle at his hardened crotch. Ross notices and looks down at himself, his face getting that bright shade of red.

"Is there a cure for this? ", he asks and I keep on slightly smiling.

"I believe there is only one kind of cure. "

"You. ", he shakes his head. "You are the cure for every imperfection I have. "

Our eyes seem to never lose contact between each other as he puts on his jeans and a black shirt that fits his body perfectly, making the hard stomach stand out. He looks so hot, correction, he doesn't look, he is hot.

I haven't even realized my hand is on my breast, gently rubbing and squeezing to release me from the tension I feel. Ross' dyes are now on it and he gulps, then growls at me. I can't help but bite on my bottom lip.

"Your pants are a little tight, don't you think? ", I chuckle and let go of my chest, lying back on my pillow.

"That's because you're making it hard for my dick to fit in them. ", he fires back and rolls his eyes.

I slightly laugh and wipe my eyes from the previous tears. I'm still so emotional about this night. My hand motions for Ross to come over and he does. I tug at his arm to lean him down and our lips meet in a hungry yet sweet kiss that gives me goosebumps. When he leans out, I'm back on the pillow and he kisses my forehead, his lips lingering on it for a few seconds.

"You need to sleep. ", he whispers and trails a few kisses down my cheek.

"So does your friend. ", I cup him through his pants and he jumps back.

"Allison. ", Ross whines and I laugh, earning that beautiful toothy grin.

"Love you? ", I smile and blow him a kiss.

He pretends to run away from it as if it was a bomb that could blow him up and I cross my arms on my chest and pout, sticking out my bottom lip.

"Baby, don't cry. Here. I got it. ", my boyfriend picks up the invisible kiss from the floor behind him and tugs at his pants, dropping it into his underwear. I laugh yet again, holding my stomach and pinching my eyes closed.

"You are hilarious. ", I sigh at the end and stare at him with a loving expression on my face.

Ross winks. "Glad you're feeling better. "

"Stay there, under the covers. ", he warns me and walks out the door to meet Lucas in the hallway.

"You fucked with her while we were together? ", was the first thing that came out of my ex's mouth. I purse my lips and sink under the sheets completely.

Stone of our mistakes is still heavy on my heart, pressing, ripping, not letting go.

I love Ross though and I don't want to just give up on him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. It sounds stupid and cliché and I've always hated the cliché but it's true. I'm so happy to have him, I can't even begin to describe how much I appreciate everything he did for me. I still don't understand a thing and it's hard for me to believe, I don't know.. How.. My brain is still empty. I can't recall anything that would help me remember the past. It's all erased. Many people want to erase the painful past but they don't know that a human with no past is just an empty shell. It's awful. I feel like I disappointed everyone who knew me before. What about my mother? What if I met her before but don't remember it? Oh my god. Now that I know how it feels like to be a hole, I need to make sure to fill it because I still have the rest of my life to look forward to.

Ross' POV

"You fucked with her while we were still together? "

"You were on your break back then. ", I defend myself.

Lucas shakes his head and laughs a brief, bitter laugh. "I sometimes wonder how could I even think you were my best friend after all. I've done so much for you and then you go and sleep with my ex girlfriend. Friends don't do that. "

"I know but I.. "

"There's no excuse, Ross. "

"Lucas.. ", I sigh. "I'm sorry. "

Blonde guy next to me stays quiet and just looks at me with an unreadable expression on his face. I continue after breaking our eye contact.

"I tried to, Lucas. I really tried to stay away, you know I did. Do you remember all the fucked up shit I've done just to let her go and let you have her? I don't even know how or why, we just.. We bonded. I loved her, so very much. ", desperation is clearly noticeable in my saddened voice as I speak.

"I'm not in love with her anymore and I got over all the shit she's done because it hurts as long as you love someone but you.. When it comes to you, I.. There's supposed to be a rule for dating your best friend's ex, remember? "

"Why? Why the fuck do we have to obey some shitty stupid ass rules that someone with plenty of time to waste came up with? You don't love her anymore and I do. She's everything to me. Why isn't that enough? Wasn't. ", I correct myself at the end. I don't care what he thinks now, I'm not leaving Allison's side.

"I don't know? It doesn't apply for today. I meant before. Before is the time I still had feelings for her and you took advantage of our break to get into her panties. ", he spits and I shake my head.

"I didn't get into her panties, I got into her heart. I bet you knew it and didn't want to admit the fact that she was falling in love with me. "

"You know what? I treated her way better. You had nothing and I had every fucking thing I wished for. ", Lucas raises his voice and my lips part.

He never used the difference between our social positions against me before. To say I'm surprise is much less than I expected. We were friends.. Best buds.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, Ross, I swear. ", he qui kly rambles and I rub my forehead with my hand.

"This is too much.. ", I close my eyes. "Let's stop fighting about the things we can't change and focus on now.. I just wanna know what's with Raymond. "

"Raymond.. He's in coma. He was going through some serious pain and fainted right before the surgery. They had to take two bullets out of him. ", Lucas tells me and I gulp.

"What? Coma? Where did you take him? ", words are coming out in a rush.

"There is only one hospital in the town. We need to take him to Denver later this day. ", he announces and I grip my hair.

"Oh my god. This isn't happening. I can't lose him. Oh man.. ", I gasp and Jorge appears at the door of his room with an exhausted expression on his face.

"Don't mind me. ", Jorge murmurs and rubs his eyes, passing us by. "I'm just gonna piss.. ", he slightly trips over his own feet a few times before getting to the bathroom.

"It's not a serious kind of coma. I think he will wake up by this afternoon. Paramedics say he took the surgery well. He's a strong man. ", Lucas lets me know what I already have known.

"Can I go see him? ", I plea.

"They won't let anyone near him. Not even family. He needs his peace. "

I sigh and wipe the moisture from my eyes. "Okay. Thank you.. "

I expected him to roll eyes but instead, I'm pulled in a bit longer bro hug as he pats my back.

"I missed you, Blondie. ", he says and we pull away.

"I missed you too, Blondie. ", I laugh but my eyes still burn with that spark of surprise.

"I'm sorry you've been through so much without me. ", Lucas apologizes with a swift look away and back into my eyes again.

"I'm sorry for being such a shitty best friend. "

"Hey. We are all allowed to make our own sins, right? ", his toothy grin is teasing.

"Fuck you. ", I smile.

"I hope you had a great time with your band. Your music is great. I even subscribed your channel on YouTube. ", I proudly add.

"Really? That means so much to me. Remember how you came up with my band's name? ", he laughs and I smile once again.

Past

"I can't believe August starts tomorrow. ", I huffed and yawned while playing with the strings of Lucas' guitar.

"I know. Are you feeling better now? ", my best friend asks me while spinning in his chair.

I sigh and nod. "Yeah. Arm still hurts a little but the poison is gone. I think we should really make this time of year memorable though. "

"What do you have in mind? "

His eyes meet mines in pure curiosity and my lips break into a small smirk.

"Party with the ladies on the beach? "

"Sure. I heard about that huge salsa party or something at Danny's this Saturday. Well, Friday actually but the real fun always starts at midnight. ", he wiggles his eyebrows.

"Sounds good. You think I'll be able to attend the get together? ", I glance down at my wound once. It's healing.

"Why not? I think it'll be okay if you came with me. ", Lucas tells me and I begin to play a song on the guitar

"Good. Because the time went by too fast. It feels like as if it's been only five seconds of summer. "

"You're right. ", he laughs. "Hey. What's that? "

"What? ", I look up, mumbling the lyrics.

"That song you're playing. Does it have a name? ", he twirls a basketball in his arms.

"'Crazy For You'. ", I smile, thinking of the way her hair flew around her face in the wind when I saw her from my window two days ago.

I really need to get myself a girlfriend. This is beyond pathetic.