Chapter 3 (64)

"You've got it bad. ", Russel holds his stomach while laughing and I just wanna rip out his throat.

"Shut the fuck up. I was just saying she's a nice girl. ", I complain and shove popcorn into my mouth.

"Ross, have you brushed your teeth today? Because the whole room stinks. ", Rebecca plugs her nose and I roll my eyes at her.

"Yes. I have. "

"He must have hoped he would get the chance to kiss Allison. ", Raymond makes them all laugh at me and I bury my face into the pillow below my head.

"Go to hell, Ray. I'm sure you had a great time on your fucking date a week ago. You've never told us anything about that, huh? ", I ask my fourteen years old brother. Shit, he's her age.

Raymond smirks and purses his lips before talking. "I sure did. "

"If you stole one of my condoms.. ", Russel threatens and Rory pats Raymond's back.

"What the fuck? I'm fourteen. "

"Yep. And Russel is still hoping he'll fuck someone soon. ", I snort and cross my arms under my head.

"You're a dick. I'm not talking to you anymore. ", my brother I just teased huffs and takes a bite of his sandwich.

My phone buzzes on the nightstand and I see it's as text from Britney. But the phone is so far awaaay..

"Could you pass me my phone? ", I ask Rory who's been playing with his fingers for about a half an hour already.

"In case you haven't noticed, you are way closer to it. ", he remarks.

I roll my eyes. "I didn't ask you about the damn distance, I asked you to give me my phone but now I'm not asking but demanding. Give me the thing. "

"Damn nigga. ", my brother laughs and stands up, tossing the phone on the bed next to me.

It was a stupid joke. I painted my skin black once only to prove that we are all equal and ended up teased by everyone in school, including my family. Stupid, I know.

"I hope you don't really expect me to say thank you. ", I pick up my flip phone. Russel points at it and laughs.

"What? ", I snap.

"Your crap of a phone is getting funnier and funnier each day. "

"Fuck off. I didn't choose to be poor. "

"And the second youngest in the family. I already have a touchscreen. ", Russel smiles at his cell phone that he bought half price on the market. It's always half prized, everything we have was fucking used by someone before.

"Well, if mom and dad would try harder, maybe people wouldn't laugh at me when I walk down the street. ", I snap and notice the way a shadow at the door disappears from my sight. Shit.

"Great timing, asshole. ", Rory growls and I finally open Britney's text.

* sup stupido. I'm in the park all alone. Come with me? -puppy face- *

I chuckle and shake my head. She's adorable sometimes and I mean it in the worst way, the kind of way that has you trapped and with no option of saying 'no'.

* I'll be there in a few. Wait on 'the bench' xoxo *

"I'm leaving. ", I climb off of the bed and grab a pair of plain white socks, pulling them onto my feet.

"At least apologize to mom first. ", Rebecca suggests with a glare. "You really need to accept the fact that our life is the way it is. "

"Accepting things the way they are won't make you feel fucking better. You need to fight for more until the world is left with nothing to offer you. Use your life, don't let it use you and then toss you aside like a trash. At least I won't. ", I huff and grab my earphones.

"Oh, and you fight for what? You're just moping around all day and spitting over mom and dad's hard work. ", my sister fires back and I drop my mouth. Is she kidding?

"I do not do that kind of shit. Because of me we fixed this place after all. It looked like a stinky hole six years ago. ", I defend my position in the family.

"We know why you're friends with that prudish boy anyway.. ", Raymond takes a bite of an apple.

My frown overpowers them as I stand there utterly confused. "What is wrong with you guys? I'm not fucking using him, you should know better than to judge and accuse me of being that kind of a sick, pathetic person. And he's not prudish. Shut the hell up. "

"He's not. The boy is totally fine. Okay? I just wanted to say that he's way out of our league. Ross, being socially acceptable is important and if you keep hanging with him and his friends, you will just become a lonely boy who desires everything he has and will end up using him for his wealth eventually. It's nowadays world's flaw that we can't interact with everyone. ", my youngest brother tells me and I gasp for air.

"You.. You will fucking see that I can do whatever the hell I want and hang out with everyone who wants to be my friend. All of you will see that I'm right one day when I become famous and walk back home with a bunch of chicks chasing me and begging to have my sweaty towel or some shit. I don't care about the social junk, I can become rich just as easy as any billionaire can bankrupt and end up being a beggar. "

"It's not all about the money. ", Raymond lectures.

"You just said it was! Get your head straight. I'm out. ", I wave him off and storm out of the room.

"Ross! Get your ass over here. ", dad yells from the kitchen and I slam my palm against my forehead.

He must have heard what I said about them and now he owes me a butt-kicking. I didn't really mean it. I'm just pissed at the world. How come it is my fate to be poor? Why couldn't I be born surrounded with hundreds of dollars, golden baby bottles and flowers instead of my own grandmother helping mom give me birth on her old ripped couch with a bucket of water and a small blanket? Stupid fate.

"Coming. ", I sigh and enter the kitchen where he waits for me with the famous anger seething behind his eyes. I'm almost sure my heart is in my throat now, not letting me breathe. I swallow it.

"What the fuck was that? ", dad yells at me as he crosses the room and I back away slowly.

"I'm sorry. "

"Damn sorry won't wipe the tears off of your mom's face nor erase the disappointment in my eyes. How could you hurt her like that? She's in her room and won't let me in now. You're a selfish little brat. ", he growls at me and worry builds inside of my lungs.

"I didn't mean it. "

Just tell him the words, Ross.

"Yes, you did. ", my father sighs and rubs his forehead with his hand.

"I'm sorry, dad. ", I apologize yet again.

"Get out. "

"What? ", pain breaks through my chest like a shooting star, suddenly, unmercifully and with no chance of stopping.

"You're not pleased in here? Then get the fuck out of my home. "

"But I was just.. "

"No. You try raising one big family the way that will make everyone satisfied. Go out there and let's see if you'll think it's as easy as you assume it is right now. ", my dad pushes me out of the kitchen and I stumble to the door.

"Dad.. "

"I'm serious. You always seem to have some kind of problem! ", he snaps at me as I put on my sneakers.

"You know what? I fucking will leave your goddamn ass for treating me this poorly. What have I done to you? You seem to hate me the most! ", I shout and rush out of that hole.

Who does he think he is? I'm not apologizing for anything anymore. It's all over.

Blue skies seem to be mocking my inner appearance with such brightness considering that there's a storm inside of my mind.

"What the hell is your problem? Being so happy and shiny all the time? ", I snap at the sun as he smirks at me from above. He's smirking at me? The bastard is smirking..

I'm losing my mind.

I need to focus, especially now that a few strangers passing by are staring at me as if I was a total lunatic. I will never care anyway. They will never be anything other than just that, strangers. So why should I give them the satisfaction of caring about their opinion? I'd rather fight the damn sun.

Is this friendship with Lucas actually a friendship? I never wanted him to give me anything even though I was so damn jealous all the time I came to his house. My eyes wandered all around those precious, valuable things, stealing their price with just one look. It's never easy though.

How pathetic people are proves the fact that, when the two of us were little and met up for our play dates, Lucas always wanted us to act as if we were poor and I wanted to, at least in a stupid childish game, be rich only once in my life. I guess people always desire to be the exact opposite of who they are. They want to pretend and crawl out of their own skin, escape those problems that are torturing only them and for a quick moment be somebody else, that is until they realize everyone is fucking paining and the struggle in life is inevitable for each human. Hell, not even for humans only. Every spirit on this planet is alive to be hurting.

My feet carry me to the park where I usually meet up with my friends and I curse under my breath when a boy on his bike heads in my direction. The little shit almost knocks me to the ground but I quickly escape the fall, only to earn a fake 'sorry' from his mother. Rolling eyes, I head for the familiar bench where I told Britney to wait for me. When I see her sitting there and staring at the little bird before her feet, smile creeps up to my lips.

"Such a charming young lady. ", I tease her and she sticks out her tongue at me as I approach her.

Standing up, she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug and I immediately press my fingers against her sides, beginning to tickle. Brit wiggles out of my grip with a laughter.

"You can't even be hugged without being a dick. ", her glare amuses me.

"You love me. ", I smile and bump my shoulder into hers.

She dramatically laughs first before burning me with a quick 'no' and another dead look.

"Why are you even here all alone? ", I ruffle my hair and tuck one of my hands into the pocket of the yellow shorts I'm wearing.

"I'm waiting for Calum and Raini. ", my friend explains to me and I nod.

"When will they arrive? "

"In about fifteen minutes, I think. Calum has summer school because he failed biology class and Raini is helping him study. Poor guy. ", I can tell she is trying to stiffle her laugh and I press my lips in a hard line.

"I can't believe we're gonna be juniors next year. These two years have passed so quickly. "

"Allison will be freshman in our school when it starts this September. ", her eyebrows wiggle.

"Really? She decided to go to our school? ", I ask blinking like crazy.

"Yeah, well, Lucas is there and she just wants to be near him, plus me. She loves me. ", Britney smiles innocently.

"Two of them are cute. ", I say and smile as I picture his arms around her waist and her face buried into his chest.

"Yeah. She has this thing for blonde dudes. Lucas is her first actual boyfriend but whenever she had a crush, it was a blonde. I suppose that's why she didn't fall in love so often. Natural blonde guys are hard to find. "

Smirk creeps up to my lips and I run my hand through my blonde hair once more.

"You mean like me? "

Brit rolls her eyes and pushes me slightly. "Don't flatter yourself. But yeah. "

"Hm. "

She falls for blondies? Damn. I got a ticket straight to the chick's heart. If there was only any space in it left since my best friend is already there. Er.

My eyes wander around the park and I let out a frustrated sigh thinking of my dad. Britney must have noticed since she narrows her eyebrows at me and bites her lip.

"What's up? "

"The sky. ", I smile.

"Ross. I'm serious. "

I wish to tell her 'No, you're Britney' but the joke is corny and got old, plus, annoying people is Rory's thing.

"I have nowhere to stay for tonight.. Can I come over to your place? ", I scratch the back of my neck.

"What did you do? "

"I don't want to go home and listen to my dad's pathetic lessons about how I shouldn't be an asshole when I surely am one. ", brief laugh escapes my mouth.

"Your dad? Again? ", Britney shakes her head and I groan.

"Yes. And he's like that because I said I hate not having money. It's like, whatever the fuck, daddy? Don't I have right to have my own opinion? I'm tired of agreeing with others just so I don't hurt their damn feelings. "

"You do have the right to have your own opinion but it's not that easy. Staying loyal to yourself means automatically betraying somebody else. ", she stares at the path in front of us.

I begin to feel the words that she's spoken, truly and deeply. No matter what I do someone will end up hurt. There's only one decision to be made.. Do I want that someone to be me or people I love? Fuck this. I'm out. I need to try as hard as I can to escape my own thoughts or they will taunt and burn me.

"Please just let me stay at your house? ", I ask with a pleading voice.

"Ross.. You know how my dad feels about boys coming over. Imagine if you actually slept over. ", Brit sighs.

I drop to my knees in front of her and glue my palms together before my face. "Please? For me? I don't want to go back. "

"Fine. I'll try to thought my parents into this but you should know that I planned a sleepover with Allison tonight. ", she explains and I breathe in.

"I don't care. I'll sleep on the floor, even the toilet is an option. Just please.. "

"Raise to your feet, have some dignity. I said I'd try. ", she grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls me up. I wince.

"Thanks. You are the best. ", I wrap my arms around her waist and place a soft kiss on her cheek. My award is her cute, annoying smile.

"Hey, Ross! ", too familiar voice yells from behind me, making me turn on my heels.

"Calum, my man. ", I grin and accept his hug for a few moments before pulling away and giving him a high five. That's when I notice a short black haired girl with a goofy smile on her face.

"Yo, Blondie. ", Raini winks and I chuckle.

"Yo to you, too, Shortie. "

"Hi, Brit. What we're you guys doing? ", Calum asks her and I plea with my look not to tell them.

"Just chilling. Wanna go for a smoothie? ", my best friend quickly covers up for me and I give her a smile. Pure 'thank you' shining from my teeth.

"Let's go! ", Raini squeals and claps her hands.

"It's on me. ", Cal grins at us.

Sentence I've never said in my life.

"Where is Lucas? ", I question.

"At the beach with Allison, I think. ", Britney answers me and I wish she didn't.

Is she having better time with him than with me two days ago? What am I even saying? He's her boyfriend and I'm his stinky friend, of course she's having more fun with him. I laugh inside of my mind at my stupidity and struggle to picture the little brunette smiling while being thrown over Lucas' shoulder.

Asshole must have used his allowance to buy her a bikini he thought would the best fit her chest. She's not small, I've got to admit.

Fuck.

Why am I even thinking of Lucas' girlfriend's boobs? I need a brain check.

"Okay.. "

I walk by their side, listening to Calum's stupid jokes about the blondes that aren't so funny when you actually are one. The only problem is, I got blonde hair on my head but on the inside of it is a brunette one. Apple and preach scent takes over my lungs and overpowers common sense. I'm left only to smile like an idiot.

Phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to see Allison's name on the screen. Huh. She's so predictable. I was just thinking of her.

* we've got ya lil something *

Huh?

* who's we and what did you get me :p* I'd send her any emoji, even a damn dolphin, only if I had a normal phone to begin with.

* I'll crash at Brit's plavr tonight * I send right after.

*pkacw* * Damn.

* I meant PLACE * Annoying.

Fucking typos. They ruin the she thought for me.

* hahahah really? Me too yay I'll see you again! *

* note the sarcasm lol * I roll my eyes but smile at her cuteness.

* what did you and that asshole get me? *

* you'll see :3 just come to Lucas' house in ten mins *

* I can't too busy hanging out with some people *

* plssss rosssss *