Chapter 8 (69)

They kept me at the hospital for a few more days because the drug has seriously ruined my insides and I was left to struggle with the pain. Rebecca refused to leave me there and begged me to tell her why I ignored all of their phone calls. I told them I didn't want to stay home because dad has kicked me out and he started to apologize and beg me to push some common sense back into my head but I, as always, refused to. That's when Lucas jumped in and offered to take care of me at his place. We were like brothers anyway and I spent many days at his house. Martha, the maid, had taken a few days off for her vacation which means she won't be there to help me out a little but I'm fine. I'm not used to having a personal 'slave' anyway. My mom and dad have agreed through the tears, still apologizing and wishing all the best for me, but I told them I'm fine and that I'll get over this. It was just a silly drug, nothing to be afraid of.. At least I thought so.

Calum and Diego got into trouble with the police though and it ended when their parents both bailed them out of prison. We agreed not to tell anyone but Allison's dad is making if hard by wanting to talk about the accident with the producers of this magazine. He wanted to warn children of Los Angeles and give them a sign of what's happening in the streets at night. I protested at first, not wanting for my friends and school mates to think of me as some bad guy who does nothing but fight because I'm not. I hate violence but when needed, I am not afraid to beat the crap out of someone. They said all the characters present in the fight would stay anonymous and I finally agreed.

I'm currently at Lucas' place, lying on the bed in the guest room that's been mines for a few days now. Everyone has come to visit me at least once, Raymond and Rebecca were the most frequent visitors. Allison has come to see me too but whenever she came, I pretended to be asleep.

It's practically been about a month since I met her and a bit less than two weeks since the drug has been flowing through my veins. I can't even begin to describe how much the wound on my arm hurt me because Sean has just buried the needle into the flesh. It was truly poisoning. The injure has inflamed and I had to get it checked and covered with too many creams and shits in order to be fine.

I've been staring up at the ceiling for a long time now. Sound of someone's footsteps in the hall makes me flinch and widen my eyes. I intend to hide underneath the covers, pretending that I'm asleep again but the door are pushed open before I do so. There stands Allison with a fruit basket in her hand and Like following behind her.

"Oh my god. Are you okay? ", she rushes up to me and kneels beside the bed.

I quietly groan and nod. "Just fine. "

"Dad sends fruit. And I even put in a quick inspiring message for you to read it and feel al least little bit better. I haven't seen you in days! ", I'm surprised when her arms wrap gently around my neck and she pecks my cheek. Eyes immediately close, as if knowing that'll give more of me into this tingly feeling. Her perfume.. It's more dangerous to my health than any fucking drug.

When the brunette pulls away, Lucas nods at me sympathetically and puts a glass with water on the nightstand next to me.

"Lucas. Could you go make me a sandwich, please? I'm really hungry, I'm sorry. ", I ask him and he nods instantly, leaving the room within heartbeat.

"You look pale. You've barely eaten anything. Please eat. ", her palm leans against my forehead and I sigh and look away.

"Allison.. "

"Did you know there is a party? Lucas is throwing one right here, tomorrow? ", she lets me know while those fingers of hers caress the skin of my face. I frown.

"Um.. No? Why would he throw a party at his place if he knows I'm here? "

"Because your family insisted on having you back home today. "

"What? I don't want to go back there. They will just.. They will lecture me and ground my ass for leaving Britney's home in the first place. "

"No. Your mom is horrible. She has dark circles under her eyes and has barely slept through this shit. Just like Rebecca. ", she tells me and I roll my eyes.

"Whatever. I don't want to go back. You can't make me. What kind of friend is he? Is he gonna kick me out? ", I choke on my own breath.

"Of course not. Your father is coming to pick you up in an hour. "

"It's because I stole his motorcycle, isn't it? ", I snap as much as my hurting arm allows it. "You were with me! It's partly your fault. "

"I.. It's not the.. ", Allison begins to stutter but I cut her off.

"Why did you come in the first place? What's your part in all of this? You had no idea who Calum was and still down know who I am. ", I growl, trying to control the aching pain from the inside.

"I wanted to help. ", she looks away.

"You did that great, thank you. ", I sarcastically say and her eyebrows narrow at me.

"Why are you being rude? What did I do? "

"Nothing. You can take your fruit with you. ", I shake my head and turn away.

"What? ", pure disbelief is present in her now tiny voice.

"You should go. Don't come to check on me anymore. I can assure you I'll be alright. Just like the first time. ", I've got to put the end to this and step on the spark before the flame is born from it.

"But.. "

"We've only met a month ago so you haven't even got the chance to care for me truly and I won't let you. You don't have to pretend to be so touched by my state only to please Lucas. He's been with a lot of manipulating chicks that use him for his fortune. "

"What? ", she asks me once again, gasping out of disbelief. "You think that I'm using him for his wealth? Why would I.. So that's on what kind of opinion you've based our relationship? That is utterly ridiculous! Who do you think I am? "

I know that's not true, I'm not even sure what I'm saying. I just need to find a not so direct way to tell her I don'twant her in my life. Simple as that.

Not so simple.

"Allison, please, just leave me alone. I don't need your sympathy. ", pain rushes through my arm the moment I begin to move and I hiss.

"Fine. I'm sorry I ever tried to get to know you and was so pathetic to think that we could actually be friends. Really good friends. I wish you all the best, Ross. ", Allison mumbles and stands up, dashing out of the room.

I sigh, expecting sanity and peace to be given back to me but I was clearly wrong. Now I had one more thing to think about. This is a rip of my world, it's splitting down the middle and I'm left at this roundabout completely alone, trying to solve the dilemma.. Should I go left, where nothing's right, or right, where nothing's left?

Every road is fucked up.

"Allison! ", I hear Lucas shouting her name and close my eyes as the sound of front door closing echoes through the house full of space.

My blonde best friend is up in my room within seconds and I watch him put the tray with a turkey sandwich next to my glass of water.

"What happened to her? What did you do? ", he asks sternly, trying to control his voice.

That's what I hate the most. So what if I'm hurt? You can't be honest with me because you think a little crack will spread and cause the break? Just fucking shout at me and let it go. There's nothing I can't take. I'm made of misery.

"She's gone. I told her to go. "

"What? Why? "

"Lucas.. I.. ", I don't know how to fucking tell him. This is all such bullshit.

"You what? ", he taps his foot against the floor which pretty much costs more than my whole house.

"I hate Allison. I don't like her at all. ", I decide to sell him a lid.

His eyes widen and lips part. "You don't? But.. Why? I thought she was a cool chick and that you would be proud of me and be friends with her also.. "

"I just can't. I'm sorry. She doesn't seem like a type of person I would hang out with. ", my eyes drift away from his blue ones, not baring the tension.

"I can't believe this. Why haven't you told me earlier? ", he groans. "Who gives you the right to make her leave just because.. I, ugh. "

His hands tug at the blonde hair on his head and he shakes his head.

"I need to get out for a minute ir two. ", Lucas announces and leaves the room.

I squeeze my eyes shut and stare at the back of my closed eyelids.

I wish you all the best, Ross.

I think of her words.

Everybody wishes me good but nobody does anything to make their wish come true. I'm still desperate.

Present

"I'm not feeling very well. ", Allison whispers into my neck and I turn off the water.

Picking her up in my arms, I step out of the shower and reach for a towel. Within seconds, it's wrapped around her and I carry her back into our room and lay her on the bed.

"How do you feel? ", I ask, gulping down the guilt I feel because of this.

It was all my fault. Everything. I bought the condom and I was the one to make love to her and make her pregnant, only to watch her in this broken state right now.

"My chest hurts.. ", Allison whimpers and I tuck her naked body under the quilt, pacing back to the bathroom to dry myself and back to the bed. I lay down next to my woman and wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her close, knowing that's the only cure for the hole deep inside of her chest that I caused.

"I'm sorry. I'm a dickhead. I wish we never even.. ", she cuts me off by pressing her palm against my lips.

"Don't wish we never met. Please. I love you.. "

"I love you, too but you've been through so much because of me. ", I sigh and bury my face into her hair.

"I don't care. Just please.. ", she leans up to press her lips against mines and tangles her fingers into my hair.

I begin to pull away but Allison kisses me harder, unmercifully, begging for more contact. Gasp leaves my mouth as she rolls onto me and presses herself against my crotch.

"Allison.. ", I breathe and she parts our lips, laying her head on my chest.

I'm hard within fucking seconds and can't seem to control it. She can feel me between her thighs, I know she can. My thoughts are confirmed when she lowers herself on me and sits, me reaching deep inside of her and it feels too good to be true. I thought she'd hate me..

"I don't think we should.. ", I groan and wrap my fingers around those curvy hips of hers. She moves against me faster and sucks on my nipple.

"It's not a sin. ", she whispers and kisses her way down my cheek and to my neck.

I watch her as she takes control and rolls hips against mines, newly appearing arousal not giving me a chance to stop her.

"Ally.. ", I moan and her mouth is back on mines within seconds. The sun has risen a little bit above the horizon but the curtains have dimmed the light of it.

"Just shut up, Ross. ", I feel her cheeks getting wet with tears as she pushes her ass against me more. Our eyes pour into each other and her tears begin to slip from hers and rol down my face.

"Why are you.. ", I begin but the knock at the door stops us.