Two

Adam quickly goes up to get ready for the day, he takes a quick shower because he knows if it wasn't quick he'd end up crying in the bathroom and that's the last thing he wants. He moisturizes and puts on a dark jeans and an oversized salmon jumper. He runs his hand through his damp hair and stares at his bedroom. His marital bedroom. Jensen's clothes were still on the ground, the bed was unmade and the curtains were haphazardly drawn. Everything just seemed off and Adam was suddenly filled with the feeling that he doesn't belong here. The feeling that this is no longer his bedroom.

There was a dark cloud hanging over this room and Adam doesn't know how to clear it. He takes one last look at the room and turns around. He needed to clear his mind and he was also missing his children. He checks the watch on his wrist for the time and sighs when he sees it's just a little past nine. It was still early. Still stupidly early. In some other parts of the world, people were still asleep and Adam suddenly finds himself wishing he was among them.

Sara lets herself in like always. She walks through the short hallway and made her way to the sitting room. Adam was sitting up and staring at the TV but his eyes looked blank and Sara could bet all the Oreos in her purse that her friend wasn't really watching the TV but clearly Ian was enjoying it because he tries to sing along.

"Ian, my darling." She ruffles his hair and smacks a kiss to his cheek.

Ian just bats her hand away and tries to push her away because she was blocking half of his view. Adam laughs at his son's antics and receives a glare from Sara. She rolls her eyes at Ian and walks to the chair Adam was sitting on.

"You feeling better now?" She asks as she takes her seat.

Adam just turns a little and lays down on her lap. His head lays on her lap and she immediately buries her hands into his hair. Adam sighs and turns to bury his face into Sara's tummy and cried. His shoulders shook with the intensity of his tears, he gasps for breathe as he cries his pain and his confusion away.

"Adam..." Sara sniffs. "You have to tell me what's wrong."

Adam takes a deep breath and uses his free hand to wipe the tears away. He takes another deep breathe and let it out. He moves away from Sara's stomach and sits up. He feels a little bit lighter now but he still wants to cry.

"Adam you're not talking and I'm getting scared." Sara says, staring at him in concern.

Adam gives her the best smile he could conjure. "I'm fine. I don't know why I cried. I think its stress or something." Adam tells her. He gets up and walks to the kitchen to finish clearing up. He places the plates in the dishwasher and carefully arranged the pan he used to make the pancakes in before he flicks it on.

Sara walks into the kitchen five minutes after he had left, with Ian on her hip. She places him on his chair and hands him a Rubik's cube. She then turns to Adam who was looking into the microwave and he looked pale.

"Adam, please talk to me. Tell me what's wrong, you're making me scared."

Adam burst into laughter. He was still laughing as he pull the plate of food out of the microwave. On the plate was mixed rice, coleslaw and a large drumstick. This was last night's dinner. This was Jensen's dinner.

Adam was still laughing as he drops the plate on the tale and let the rank smell fill the kitchen. Immediately Ian smelt it, he started crying. Sara moves first. She takes him back to the sitting room and literally ran to the kitchen.

"What is going on, Adam?"

Adam looks away from the plate to his friend. "He didn't eat my food."

"Who didn't?" Sara asks as she stares at her friend. He looked so close to a breakdown and she doesn't know what to do because he wasn't telling her anything.

"My husband."

Sara frowns. She looked at Adam and it clicks. Earlier, on the phone, Adam had said i think I have lost him. Sara looks at the plate again and sighs. She grabs the plate and a plastic bag. She scraped it into the plastic bag and dumps it into the bin.

"Adam..."

Adam blinks slowly. "I don't feel like myself today. I'm sorry for the various outbursts."

"Adam..." Sara calls softly as she makes her way to her friend.

"Sara, I need you not to ask any questions. I will tell you when I have enough strength, because right now, I feel like weak." Adam says, his voice soft and his skin deathly pale. Sara pulls her friend into a hug and strokes his back softly. Adam doesn't cry, nor does he hug back. He just let himself be hugged instead.

When they pull apart she lets Adam sit on one of the many kitchen stools and made him a steaming hot cup of tea. No milk and two tablespoons of sugar. She made him drink it.

"What are your plans for today?"

Adam looks at his watch. Its twenty minutes past eleven. "I have to go grocery shopping and I have to do laundry, I also have to clean up my room."

Sara nods. "Iceland does deliveries. Tell me what you want and I'll order it."

It takes Sara a few minutes to order and Adam has never been more grateful to anyone in his life. The next thing on the agenda is to clean up his and Jensen's room. He asks Sara to stay with Ian while he quickly get started. He starts with the curtains. He pulls them apart properly and folds them to the side. He picks Jensen's clothes and adds it to those in the laundry basket. He dusts the bed and replaces the white sheet with a grey one and leaves the army green duvet on. He fluffs the pillows and vacuums the room. He gets the wet towels from the bathroom and mopped the floor when he was done arranging there too.

"Done with the room!" He screams immediately he steps out of the room.

Sara cheers as he makes his way down the stairs and for the first time in three hours thirty minutes, Adam smiles. He places the vacuum cleaner in the right closet and did the same for the mop. As he closes the door to the closet, he remembers he forgot to take the laundry from each room.

"I forgot to take the d-"

Sara gives him a mock salute. "I will get them."

"If Jhoni finds out you're picking his dirty clothes, he's going to be so pissed." Adam chuckles, he grabs Ian who protests for a full minutes. "Let me quickly feed Ian his lunch before its nap time."

"Let's disperse!"

Adam shakes his head at his friend. He feeds Ian his food, laughing at the face Ian made every time he tasted fish. Adam would never understand Ian's hot and cold feeling towards fish. When Adam was with Ian, he had to be the calmest baby. When Ian was brought into his world and Adam had finally brought him home, he was the least fussy child. He only cried when he was hungry, always ate his food with a minimum amount of spitting unlike George and Jhoni, who did it like it was a sport when they were his age. Now as Adam feeds Ian his lunch and he eats it with minimum struggle, he thankful that this adorable little boy was his.

"Okay!" Sara cheers as she walks into the kitchen. "I say we do laundry and go relax in the hot tub."

Adam shakes his head. "Ian is about to fall asleep." He tells her, a warm smile on his face as he watches Ian blink slowly. "I can do the laundry, you go and enjoy yourself."

"Fine. I'll get the groceries when it gets here before I go to the hot tub."

Adam nods. He carries Ian out of his chair and walks past Sara. He's careful as he goes up the stairs so as not to wake Ian up. He carefully places Ian in his cot and covers him with the blanket. Just like she had said, Sara gets the groceries when it was delivered and left it in the kitchen for Adam, since she doesn't really know where everything goes. Laundry passes like a breeze for Adam, while he waited for the clothes to dry, he arranged the groceries. He put the bread where it should be, the salmon where it should be and so on. 

He makes a quick lunch for himself and Sara. As he places the quiche onto the plate, he checks his watch for the time and sighs. It was just a quarter to two. He makes sure the front door and kitchen door was locked and grabs the baby monitor before going out back where the hot tub and swimming pool was.

Sara thanks him for the food and they talk. They talk about Sara's work as a ghost writer, they talk about Adam's kids and Sara's dream man. Sara leaves by three, leaving Adam thirty minutes to relax a bit more before his kids walk through the door. There were already three medium sized bowls of truffle in the fridge and he had made another batch of sandwiches.

Adam waits for his children in the sitting room. Ian was colouring and Adam was watching him through his side eye to make sure Ian doesn't chew the crayons. Adam was lying down on the couch, the book The Bane Chronicles in his hand. Bella walks through the door first and screams for him.

"Over here!" Adam screams back, waving his book over the edge of the couch so she'd see it. She does and she immediately runs to him. She wraps her small hands around his neck and hugs him. Adam chuckles and sits up, using a hand to lift Bella until she was sitting in his lap.

"Papa, hi!"

Adam presses a kiss to her head. "Hello sweetie. How was your day?"

She starts talking about learning her multiplication tables just as George walks in. His hair was ruffled but overall his clothes were still clean. George goes over to Ian first and presses a kiss to his brother's head before making his way to Adam's side. He sits beside Adam, who raised his hand over George's hand and wraps it around his son's shoulder.

"How was school today, bunny?"

Of all his children, George Rory Grey was the softest. Even at the age of nine, he was the sweetest boy Adam has ever seen, excluding Ian. He reminded Adam of himself when he was younger.

"It was good. I got an A on my math test, my English test and a B on my French." George says and Adam beams down at his child.

"Papa, I want to go and shower."  Bella says as she tries to wiggle out of his touch.

"Go on up. I'll be with you in a few."

Bella climbs down and skips her way to the stairs, leaving just Adam, George and Ian. Adam smiles at George whose cheeks and nose had gone red.

"I'm so proud of you, bunny."

George doesn't say anything, instead he shifts close to Adam.

"How about you go and clean up? After dinner, there will be ice cream for you." Adam says and George stares at him with wide eyes.

"With skittles in it?" George asks, his bottom lip jutting out a little.

Adam laughs as he stares at his nine year old boy.  "Maybe some gummy bears too."

George cheers and stands up.  He takes the stairs two at a time in his haste to get to his room. Adam picks Ian and made his to Bella room. He set out a pair of sweatpants and a blue top with Olaf on it. He places Ian on the play mat in Bella's room as he quickly showers for Bella. He blow dries her hair and packs it into a high ponytail.

"Papa, is daddy coming home early today?" Bella asks and Adam stills.

When Jensen had come home at one in the morning, he had promised to be home in time for dinner but Adam knows Jensen like the back of his hand and he knows that, the promise was all talk. The old Jensen was always home by four which was hours before dinner, the old Jensen, if he had to work late always came home in time for dinner but this new Jensen that Adam has been living with for a year was not the old Jensen. His Jensen.

"Baby, he might be a little late today." He ends up telling Bella.

"But he's always late. Does he not like the house anymore?"

Adam stares at his little girl. What if she was right though? What if Jensen doesn't like coming home anymore? What if he's the reason Jensen wasn't coming home anymore? What if his husband was losing interest for their family?

"Papa!" Bella screams, startling Adam out of his thoughts.

"Bella..."

"You had that look Jhoni has when he has to go on a rollercoaster." Bella tells him and Adam doesn't even know what to do. He was that scare that it reflected on his face. The last thing he wanted was for his children to see his fear.

"How about ice cream after dinner, Bella?"

Bella brightens up at that and hugs him tight. "You're the best, papa!"

George and Bella finish all the sandwich and pushes it down with mango juice. Adam and the kids settle down in front of the television to watch until it was six. He sends George and Bella upstairs to go and get their homework done. Instead, they bring their book-bags into the kitchen and settle around the dining table.

Jhoni walks in by six thirty. He instantly makes his way to the kitchen immediately he walks in through the front door. He finds his Adam helping Bella with her homework while George assists Ian in colouring. Jhoni must say, he has never seen a purple mickey mouse before but he's impressed nonetheless.

Without thinking, he joins them at the table and whips out his books. It's not easy keeping a 4.0 GPA but things like this, Adam helping and assisting George, Bella and Ian with their homework and occasionally helping him with his, makes Jhoni wonder how his papa can handle everything by himself. Makes Jhoni want to be his best for his papa because Adam always gives them all his best.

Dinner was of spaghetti and meatballs and glasses of water instead of juice because they were having Ice cream afterwards and the last thing Adam wants is for his children to start purging. They all talk about their day and Adam listens.

Like clockwork, by eight Bella and George go up. It was Jhoni's turn to do the dishes. So Adam tuck Ian into bed first, then Bella. George still had an hour before bedtime and he uses the opportunity to go through his notes. By nine, Adam tucks George into bed and kisses him good night. Jhoni was all done and already in his room by the time Adam flicked off George's lamp.

Adam knocks on Jhoni's door before pushing it open. He finds Jhoni lying down on his bed, his phone in his hand. "You okay?"

"A bit full but yeah, I'm okay." Jhoni tells Adam.

"Do you need anything?"

"Don't wait tonight." Jhoni replies and Adam's brows furrow in confusion.

"What?"

"Don't wait for Dad this night. Please go to sleep early. You looked dead on your feet this morning and I know you didn't nap this afternoon." Jhoni says, looking away from his phone to stare at Adam. "Please."

Adam was stumped. He didn't know what to do but he also knew Jhoni was right. "I will."

Jhoni smiles. "Good night, papa."

"Night, sugar."

Adam makes sure all the doors and windows were locked before going to his room. He takes a quick shower and settles into bed with Stephen King's The Shining in his hand. by eleven thirty, he check up on all his kids again, to make sure they were alright before going back to his room. He tries to sleep but it doesn't come. He doesn't know how to sleep without the warmth of Jensen so he lays awake with his book in hand.

Jensen comes home by three in the morning and Adam just stares at him as he walks in. he doesn't speak to Jensen and Jensen doesn't even acknowledge his presence. He flips his book close and places it in the bedside table, he pulls the duvet over him as he relaxes into the bed. His eyes sting with the oncoming wave of tears and Adam tries his hardest not to let them drop. Jensen gets into bed and Adam decides they couldn't go to sleep like this, so he turns around and that's when he sees them.

All over his husband's skin, like an artwork were hickeys. They looked fresh and Adam couldn't breathe. Lining up his husband's back were scratch marks Adam knows weren't from him because the last time he had sex with his husband was a year after Ian was born. Adam gets up from the bed and walked out of the room, ignoring Jensen as he called for him. He grabs his jacket and keys, as well as his phone and without a word, he left the house.