Five b

Adam wasn't sure what he was doing wrong.

They were all in the sitting room. Adam was seated on the long couch with Jhoni beside him. George's head was resting on Adam's lap while Bella was fast asleep Jhoni. Baby Ian was on the love seat beside them with his thumb in his mouth, little sucking sounds coming from him.

On the television, an old episode of Teen Wolf was playing and apparently Stiles has been possessed by a Nogtisune. Adam gently pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks if he's had any missed calls. He has several Whatsapp messages from Sara but other than that, there was nothing. Jensen hadn't called or text and Adam could feel the hot pool of anger welling up inside him.

"Poppy, I ... have s-something to tell you." Jhoni says, stuttering a bit.

This captures Adam's attention. His kids only called him Poppy when they feel he looked a little sad or when they had done something bad or when they want to make him smile. And knowing Jhoni, it was a mix of everything.

"You can always tell me anything, Jay bug."

Jhoni pouts at the nickname but doesn't say anything. Normally, Jhoni would scowl and tell Adam not to call him that. So his baby boy not saying anything, it was making Adam worry.

"What is it?"

"I should have told you. I should have said something."

"Say what?"

"It's about dad." Jhoni says, his voice quiet.

"What about your dad, Jhoni?" Adam asks, his hackles rising. "Is something wrong?"

"Dad... dad is.... Dad is se-"

Jhoni doesn't get a chance to finish because George yawns and stretched his hands out before sitting up, blinking slowly. Adam watches with bated breath as Jhoni bites his bottom lip and shakes his head. Adam wants to find out what was going through his first-born's mind but his attention was snagged by Ian who was trying to wiggle down the sofa. It was both terrifying and incredibly cute.

Jhoni shifts Bella a bit to the side and gets up, so he could meet Ian halfway. Adam couldn't help the smile on his face when Jhoni goes on his knees and picks Ian. Ian's loud squeal wakes Bella who rubs at her eyes and pouts.

Soon, George and Bella were on the floor too, play wrestling with their eldest and youngest brother. Adam picks up his phone and takes as many pictures as his hand could, all the while, laughing and shaking his head. He laughed so hard his head began to hurt a little.

They were so caught up in the family moment that Adam doesn't notice when the door was pushed open. Sara rushed in and tossed her car keys on the table.

"Adam!" she calls out as she rounds the corner into the sitting room, worry lines on her forehead. She pauses when she sees the Grey children play wrestling on the floor while Adam was laughing with his phone out.

She smiles to herself for a bit.

"Adam." She calls out again, this time moving towards the couch. She gathered the attention of everybody and she smiles brightly, taking a seat beside Adam before the kids, except Jhoni, tackled her into a big group hug.

"Ohh, my little babies. My honey buns, my cinnamon rolls. I missed you guys." Sara sings, pressing exaggerated kisses to each of their forehead. Jhoni shakes his head at his aunt and gives a little wave before picking up Ian who was struggling at the edge of the dog pile.

"He's got legs, Jay."

"Yeah but he smells so..." Jhoni trails off, shrugging a bit.

"You are going to spoil him."

"We all are." Jhoni says with a grin and bright glint in his eyes. Adam smiles because he could see it already. They were going to buy so much sweets for Ian, take him shopping, do his homework for him, take loads of pictures of him, take him to the movies or park or to concerts and in the far, very far, almost infinite future, the Grey kids are going to take care of Ian when Adam wasn't there anymore. Or when Jensen wasn't there anymore.

The last one hurt.

It hurt because they were already taking care of Ian right now. Adam was pretty sure Ian wouldn't be able to pick Jensen out of a line up or by voice alone.

"Poppy?"

Adam looked away from Jhoni and Ian to face Bella who was looking at him with wide eyes. she stared up at him with round blue eyes and a pout on her small lips.

"I want Mickey D's."

"Honey, how about we get another thing? Too much grease isn't good for you." Adam tells her, running his hand through her dark hair.

"Papa..." she whines.

"How about your Papa and I talk and I will take everyone out for some burgers and shakes?" Sara asks, raising one perfectly groomed eyebrow. Bella whispers into George's ear and smiles widely when her brother smiled.

"Jhoni what do you think?" George asks his older brother.

"I want fries, not burgers." The eldest says in reply.

"Fries, burgers, shakes, anything you want." Sara says with a smile. "If you need us, we'll be in my room." Sara grabbed Adam by the hand, led him out of the sitting room and down the corridor until they got to her room. Once the door was closed behind them, not locked in case the kids need something, she turns to Adam and pulled him into a tight hug.

Adam hugs her back just as tightly. He lets out a loud sigh and finally allowed himself to do what he couldn't do in front the kids. He broke down. The tears rushed out like they had always been there, hovering right there and Adam doesn't know what to do. He just buries his face in Sara's hair and cried.

He cries because everything was slowly falling apart.

He cries because he was losing the love of his life.

He cries because he doesn't deserve this.

He cries because his children do not deserve this.

"Let it out, love." Sara coos, rubbing a hand down his back in a soothing manner. Adam let out a choked sob, his body shaking with the intensity of his tears. Ever since he saw the marks on Adam's body, he felt a heavy weight settle on him and now as he cries, he feels a little bit of it had left.

"Come on, let's move this to the bed." Sara says, her voice soft like a whisper. She led him towards her bed and sits him down, her hand still rubbing soothing circles on his back. "Want to tell me what is going on? And no lies. I want the whole thing."

"I think Jensen is cheating on me. He's never home, he never calls, he doesn't spend time with the kids and lately he has been coming home with these marks on his back that I know I didn't put there because we haven't had sex in months. Any time I try to initiate anything, he'd say he's too tired." Adam says. "This morning we got into a screaming match and the kids must have heard. I had to get them out of there. They deserve someone better. I don't know who my husband is anymore, I don't know the man I married anymore." Adam says in one breath.

Sara looked like she had been slapped. She gets up from the bed, fire in her eyes as he cursed. "Who does that motherfucker think he is?! Have you checked his phone? Have you seen pictures of the guys?"

"I... I have been too scared to check for anything."

"Adam, you have to bring the son of a bitch to his senses. Don't tell me you have been quiet about this?!"

"I don't know what to do."

"Adam..." Sara seats down beside him again. "Adam you can't be quiet about it. You've been hurting for who knows how long and I don't want you or the kids to hurt."

"Jhoni said something about us leaving if Jensen ever hits me."

"I love that boy! But you should start now, let him know you know what he's doing."

"I honestly don't know."

"Adam..."

"I love him, Sara. I love him. He's my husband, he's it for me. Maybe it was something I did."

"No." Sara says with conviction. "No! You are an amazing man, you are so much better than him. You deserve so much more. You don't deserve to be treated like this."

"I know that. I really do but a part of me feels like I did something. Like it's my fault he's cheating." Adam confessed, he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffs.

"Adam..."

"No, Sara. I don't want to believe Jensen is cheating. I haven't seen him with anyone so I'm going to give him the benefit of a doubt. He deserves that after a decade of marriage."

"Adam, I want to talk you out of this. I want to tell you to leave the house b-"

"Sara, he gets one more chance. If I don't see it then it's not happening. "

"That's being ignorant, Adam. I don't know if I c-"

"Please. Just please. Let me have this."

Sara doesn't say anything and just nods in reply. They sit in silence, Sara's head on Adam's shoulder. Adam rubs a hand down his face and lets out another sigh. Yeah, he's going to give Jensen the benefit of a doubt. Adam just stared at the wall across him as he thinks about everything. He thinks about the time he was carrying Jhoni, his first baby.

Adam placed a hand over his stomach and sighs again. He remembered how he had let go as he started taking care of Jhoni. How big he was, and yet Jensen had stayed, Jensen was always there beside him and with a hand in his while playing and singing to baby Jhoni.

"I love him, Sara."

"I know you do."

Adam lets out a small smile as he remembered the day he had told Jensen he wanted George, he remembered the way Jensen had hugged him so tight before buying Adam the biggest cheesecake he could find. Two years after that, they adopted Bella, their little ray of sunshine. Jensen had been there for everything, from every cramp, to every midnight diaper change and snack, to every mood swing and many many other things.

Jensen was there, holding his hand and telling him all will be well. Everything spiralled down the rabbit hole leading to hell a year after Ian was born. There's was a knock on the door and George peeps in, his glasses falling down the bridge of his nose a little.

"Papa... Aunt Sara..."

Adam quickly reached up to dab at his eyes, making sure that they were dry. The last thing he wants is for the kids to know he had been crying. Sara pulls away and together they smiles softly at George.

"Come in, darling." Adam says, waving his son in.

The door widened and George walked in, followed closely by Bella. Adam laughed at this, sometimes the two of them were so inseparable and sometimes they were at each other's throat, screaming. They stand in front of Adam, both hands behind their back and rocking softly rocking on his feet.

"We want McDonald's now." Bella speaks up.

George jabs her in the side with his elbow.

"Please Papa. Please Aunt Sara."

"Okay! Someone grab your papa's keys and let's go!" Sara cheers, jumping up slightly from the bed. The kids cheered and ran out of the room. Adam takes Sara's hand in his and squeezed a little, his little way of saying thanks without opening his mouth.

The kids got into the car and strapped on their seat belts. The drive to McDonald's actually took a while because the closest one close to Sara's house. Immediately the car was parked, everyone gets down from the car, Bella and George running ahead.

"NO RUNNING!" Adam screamed, taking Ian from Jhoni.

Adam and Sara quickly walk behind them, Ian mumbling in Adam's ear. They pick a booth on the far side and Jhoni takes everyone's order. Adam was listening to Bella's reasons as to why she should be allowed to have pink hair that Adam's hear it.

He hears a familiar chuckle, then a familiar voice. With fear in his heart and his stomach twisting into knots, he turns towards the direction of the voice. He lets out a choked sound when he sees them. Jensen and a blonde-haired man was seated at the back, Jensen was laughing at something the blonde man was saying. Adam lets slowly stands up, so close to calling out Jensen's name when his husband cups the blonde man's cheeks and kissed him on the lips.

It was too much. Spots began to appear in his sight and within seconds, Adam was on the floor. The pain was so much he passed out.