Three

Cheating.

Its sounds weird to Adam. Never in his life would he have thought Jensen would cheat on him. Even after his year long absence, Adam never got to this conclusion. Cheating was the last thing on his mind. He had actually thought it was something he had done but now he knows better.

All the while his husband was never home, it wasn’t because of him, it was because Jensen had found someone better to spend his time with. Adam stares at the cup of coffee in his hand and sighs. He had taken a cab and had asked the cabbie to drop him at a park far far away. Far far away turned out to be Andrews Park which was about an hour from the house. Adam had walked around until he had found somewhere to get something warm to drink. Since he walked out in his jammies, the cold was just sinking into his skin little by little and Adam doesn’t want to sit inside a café because he didn’t know when the tears would fall and the last thing he wants to do is cry in front of strangers. So he’s sitting on a bench at Andrew’s Park and it’s four thirty in the morning.

Man, life sucks.

He pulls out his phone. 79 missed calls from Jensen.

He shakes his head at the missed calls. This is the most he has gotten from Jensen in a while and he doesn’t even know what to do at the moment. He’s stuck. His eyes hurt but the tears refused to fall. And lord, dear lord, does he want to cry. He wonders if any of his children have noticed he was gone yet, he wonders what Jensen had said to them if they have noticed he was gone yet.

Even here, as he’s sitting out in the cold with just a jacket on and a hot cup of coffee in his hand, he wants his children. He knows he has to go home later, if not soon.

Adam sighs and looks up to the sky. The stars were gone and everything was coming awake little by little. He places the cup of coffee on the bench and runs a hand down his face. What should his next step be? What should he do? Should he just confront Jensen? What would happen to the children?

“You okay?”

Adam jumps when he hears the voice. There was no one in front of him, nor was anyone beside him. The voice was coming from behind him. He hears the soft sound of leaves being crushed and that urged him to speak.

“Just please leave me alone.”

Adam is alert. He doesn’t know who exactly he was speaking with and he doesn’t know what would happen next. All he knows is he just wants to be alone for now. The footsteps begin again and it got closer until the owner of said footsteps and voice was standing in front of him.  Standing in front of Adam was a six foot three tall man, with brown hair low by the side and a neatly trimmed beard. The man had on a brown long coat that was zipped up and a pair of blue jeans. He looked…not dangerous.

“I will, but you have to answer my question.” The stranger says.

Adam stares at the stranger. He was lost. He had no idea what to do, he just wanted the stranger gone. “I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

The stranger doesn’t say a word. He stares at Adam, his hands still deep in his pocket. Adam doesn’t move, he’s scared if he makes a wrong move, things would go astray. He’s seen movies and he knows about fifty percent of people sitting alone at the park when it’s dark, end up getting killed or kidnapped.

“Have a nice day then.” The stranger says and with a wave to Adam, he turns around and continues walking.

Adam stares at the back of the stranger as he walks away. He wonders what in the name of sweet heaven just happened. He stands up from the bench, he didn’t want to risk anything. What if the strange man comes back?

Adam goes in the opposite direction of the man and picks up the pace until he’s back at the café. This time the café was empty. He makes his way to the booth far away from the door and the window. He orders another cup of coffee.

He doesn’t drink it this time. He gets lost in his thoughts and absentmindedly watched the smoke rise from the cup. He knows it’d be a bad idea to drink another cup of coffee at that time of the morning. He checks his phone again and sighs when he sees it’s five am. It was time for him to go back home. If he leaves now, he’d be home by six. He’d be home in time for the kids to get up and get ready for school. He didn’t want his children to worry and oh, they will, if they don’t see him at home.

He takes a cab home. He watched as the sky turned bright with each distance the cab closes on to. He gets home at ten past six. He drops his keys at the door and places his jacket where it should be. This was his home. It’s been his and Jensen’s home for sixteen years and he’s not going to make a move now, he just has to wait. Jensen is the love of the life, Jensen is his husband, Jensen is the father of his kids and the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It’s his marriage and he’s going to wait. Wait to confirm. Wait to find out. Find out what, Adam doesn’t really know but he’s going to wait.

He finds Jensen in the sitting room. He was pacing and staring at his phone. The lights were on but were set to dim. Adam is thankful Jensen had on a shirt and a plaid bottom.

“Morning.” Adam greets as he walks into the sitting room.

Jensen turns around so fast, Adam thinks he has a whiplash. It would be funny if it was in another situation but sadly, this is where he is. Jensen blinks once, twice, three times and rushes to close the distance between them. He wraps his arms around Adam and huge him tight.

“Thank heavens, you’re safe. “ Jensen whispers. “I was worried.”

Adam wanted to laugh. Instead he bites down on his bottom lip and let himself be hugged. He takes a couple of steps backwards when Jensen lets go. He doesn’t look his husband in the eye, he turns around and makes his way to the stairs instead. He needed to wake the kids or they would be late for food.

“Adam…”

Adam stops but he doesn’t turn around. He feels like if he does, he’d lose his ground and fall.

“I’m fine, Jensen.” He replies. “I need to wake the kids or they’d be late. Why don’t you go and get ready, breakfast would be ready by the time you come down.” Adam runs his fingers through his hair and walks away. He takes the stairs two at a time and goes to George’s room first. Like always, the kids get up like clockwork and do what they were meant to. Thankfully, none of them knew Adam had left the house.

Breakfast consisted of oats with fruits. The children knew something was wrong immediately their papa had woken them up. They felt how cold he was through the tips of his fingers but they don’t say a word because Adam looked like he’d break if any of them ask. Jhoni warns them not to ask but instead let their papa have his space. When the bus comes, George, Bella and Jhoni kiss Adam on the cheek before walking to their bus with brown bags which held their lunch.

Jensen was the last to leave the house like always. He made his way to the kitchen where he found Adam scrubbing the burnt oat left in the pot away.

“Adam…”

Adam turns around and gives Jensen one of his brightest smiles. He points at the bowl of oats resting on the table.

“I made oats, I hope you don’t mind.” Adam says as he pours Jensen a glass of cold water.

In the time Adam had used to wake the kids and get breakfast as well as their lunch ready, Adam decided to just ignore it. Out of sight, out of mind is what he wants to do. Just waiting might end up killing him but at least with out of sight, Jensen would wear a shirt to cover it up every morning. With out of sight, he’d go to sleep early and not see anything he didn’t want to see on his husband’s body. Out of sight, out of mind is the perfect thing to do if he is to save his marriage.

“You alright, A? You just left abruptly, I was worried.”

Adam places his hand on the counter and leans forward. He stares at Jensen and wonders if the man was playing with him? Did he not know he had does marks on his body when he came home at three this morning? Was Jensen trying to insult him? Is that what this is?

“Adam?”

Adam doesn’t think he had the strength to smile again so he settles for waving it off. “I just needed to breathe.” He goes to complete his sentence when Jensen’s phone began to ring. Its been months since Adam has heard Jensen’s phone ring, his phone was always on vibrate or silent. It seemed the sound also startled Jensen who pulled his phone out in such a hurry that it gave Adam he answer he needed.

“Jensen speaking…”

Adam decides he doesn’t want to stay and watch his husband fumble his words while trying to pretend he wasn’t talking to his lover on the phone. He leaves the kitchen and makes his way up, Ian should be awake at the time. He pushes into Ian’s room as quietly as he could and couldn’t hold back his smile when he sees Ian lying on his back, his feet in the air and his thumb in his mouth.

“My darling baby.” Adam coos as he walks close to the crib. He pulls a funny face for Ian and the little boy giggles, his lips loosely wrapped around his thumb. Adam picks his little boy from the bed and places him on the carpet. He made sure Ian had his footing right so he doesn’t fall and then made his way to Ian’s closet to pick what his little boy was to wear today. He had school.

Like always, bathing for Ian was a watery disaster but thirty minutes later, Ian was ready. He had on a white shirt with a bright yellow bow tie and black jeans. Adam made sure Ian’s socks were perfectly rolled down to rest on top of the buckle of his shoe. When Adam gets downstairs, Jensen was gone.

“Ian, do you remember when daddy used to kiss me before going to work?” Adam asks his little boy as he straps him into his seat.

“Daddy!” Ian screams, staring at Adam with his big green eyes.

“Right. You don’t remember do you? Well, he used to do it until a year ago. Now he just leaves and comes back whenever he feels like.” Adam says as he puts two spoonful of oatmeal into Ian’s special bowl. He grabs Ian’s sippy cup and fills it with water.

“I miss those days, Ian. I miss your dad.” Adam says as he feeds Ian his food. Like always, Ian eats without fuss. He takes breaks between a few spoons and lifts his sippy cup himself to his lips. Adam loves watching Ian do things by himself, each time he does he feels his chest fill with pride. He has the smartest two year old in the world.