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9

~Luke~

---

Things went better between me and Ashton after what happened that night in his apartment. We still kiss and cuddle and stuff but we didn't do more than making out without too much touching.

It still fears me that if we do more, something like that would happen again. I didn't even know it was possible for me to remember that night and to feel that kind of fear just thinking that it would happen to me again. I didn't think I'd actually be seriously traumatized by that awful event since it has escaped my mind for the past weeks. Then it just suddenly came back and ruined a beautiful and intimate moment between me and Ashton.

Ashton was also being wary of his actions, afraid that something like that might happen again or he might make me feel pressured and would make me force myself to do something I am not ready for. It's really nice and thoughtful for him to do so and I really appreciate it. But we just can't stay like this. I just can't stay like this. I have to learn to get over it; to get over my fear.

It's Wednesday today and Calum will be back tomorrow night. During the past days, Ashton has been staying over with me every night and he was actually really nice to me and doing nice things for me. He is less of an asshole unlike how he speaks to me before.

The weather is nice today. Not too hot. Ashton and I are having lunch at a diner just outside the campus while also waiting for my next and last class for the day which will be in another two hours. Ashton only had classes in the morning today, according to him.

We are staying in a booth at a far corner inside the diner. There were not many people inside but we both don't want to bump into anyone as well so we stayed way far from the door.

I was taking a huge bite of my burger when I noticed Ashton staring at me. I raised an eyebrow at him but he just smiled holding a fond expression on his face.

I put down my food back on my plate as I swallowed what I had in my mouth before speaking, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He gave me a shrug and said, "You're just adorably hungry."

I playfully glared at him with a pout and he chuckled then took a sip of his coke.

"You know what, I remember," I said, making him raise a questioning eyebrow and I continued, "we didn't actually have the chance to talk."

He playfully rolled his eyes and leaned back on his seat, crossing his arms on his chest and damn look at those muscles - wait what?

"I was actually hoping you would totally forget about that," he told me, making me look away from his arms and look at him in the eyes, and yeah they are so beautiful as always.

I chuckled and said, "I almost did."

Ashton smiled then leaned over the table and said, "So what is this talk about?"

"Well, first, why did you lie to me about Michael being actually home that night?"

Ashton bowed his head down as he laughed a little and said looking back up, "I was also hoping you wouldn't ask about that because the reason behind it is kinda embarrassing."

"That makes me want to know more."

Ashton chuckled, "I figured. Well, I lied because I really wanted to stay with you that night. Like I told you before, you avoiding me kinda drove me insane. But hey, that lie resulted in something good, right?"

I laughed, "Yeah, it did. Well anyway, it got me into thinking...were you really drunk that night? Or that was all just an act so you can stay with me?"

Ashton just gave me a shrug.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked him.

"I may or may not be drunk at that time." He said.

I leaned back on my seat, crossed my arms across my chest, and raised an eyebrow at him. He chuckled and then said, "Fine. I was a bit drunk but I am aware of everything that was happening. I just really wanted to stay with you that night. Like I told you, it drove me insane that you were avoiding me and you know why it did."

I frowned at him and said, "No, I don't really. Why is that exactly?"

Ashton chuckled, "You really want me to say it?"

"Well...yeah," I said, giving him a shrug.

Ashton smirked, "You sure? You might blush." He said in a teasing tone. He really is aware on what he does to me. Asshole.

I held my chin and said in a challenging tone, "Try me."

He smirked again and leaned forward on the table and said in a low husky voice, "Because you are so fucking hot and fucking perfect and I am so fucking attracted to you and so fucking obsessed with you that I just couldn't take that you were avoiding me." He then leaned back on his seat with a smug look on his face.

After hearing what he said and with that sexy voice I just couldn't help the blood creeping up to my cheeks. I visibly gulped and tried to respond to that with a cheeky statement but with my current state I know I won't be able to so I just said, "Well there is a lot of swearing in that."

"And you are so red," he pointed out with a smirk.

I glared at him, "Asshole."

"Well, you asked for it. But for the record, that was all true."

I didn't say anything and just looked away from him and threw my focus back on my food. I took another big bite and Ashton chuckled, "Was that all you need to know?"

I swallowed the food in my mouth and then looked back up at him and said, "No, actually."

"Ok. So what else?" He asked.

I took a sip of my coke and looked at Ashton for a moment, thinking on how to word out my thoughts. He raised an eyebrow at me and I huffed and said as I pulled my gaze away from him and stared down at nothing on the table, "I know this is definitely none of my business and I should not be talking to you about this because I don't know anything and it's not my place but...maybe uh...don't be so rude towards Michael? It's just that he's your best friend and sometimes you just treat him like he's not."

I then looked up and Ashton was staring at me intently. He had this unreadable look on his face and it fears me that I may really have crossed the line so badly and he's gonna lash out on me now.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything about tha-"

"Am I really that rude to him?" Ashton asked, cutting me off.

"Sometimes, yeah..." I responded in a small voice, looking down.

"Do you hate me when I do that?" He asked in a soft voice.

I looked up at him with wide eyes and quickly shook my head 'no'. His facial expression had somewhat changed. I can see some hints of sadness on him.

"I could never hate you, Ash."

"You can never be sure of that, Luke." He said as he looked down.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing," he said, looking back up at me and smiled small.

I know it doesn't mean "nothing", I'm not stupid. I know there are a lot of things that I don't know about Ashton and I sure want to know about them. I wanna know him. I care about him so much and I would never judge him with whatever he has done in his life. But I know there is a line that I should never cross so I didn't push and just accepted what he said.

I didn't say anything and just looked down but then he said, "I'm sorry."

I quickly looked back up at him, "For what?"

"For being an asshole. Not just to Mikey but also to you. Before. Also even to some other friends of mine. I can't promise that I'll change because this is who I am but I'll try to be less rude if you know what I mean."

I smiled at him, "That is actually more than I could ask for. Thank you."

Ashton smiled back and reached out for my hand on the table and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting it go again and that gave me some tingling feeling in my stomach.

His phone then buzzed on the table and he frowned then picked it up. It was apparently a text since he unlocked his phone and read whatever it was. His expression became dark and cold. He then angrily locked his phone again and inserted it in his pocket.

He looked back up at me and quickly pushed away his building anger and gave me a small smile and said, "Do you wanna go back to the campus now? I mean, your next class will soon start."

I refrained from asking him what happened since it's clearly none of my business and I know he doesn't like people being nosy so I nodded and started to collect my stuff. I was about to pull out my wallet and pay for our food but Ashton beat me to it and had already dropped some cash on the table.

I looked at him in surprise and he just smiled and said, "What? Do you really think I'd let you pay? Not gonna happen, baby."

"But you can't always do that, you know."

He just gave me a shrug as he slipped out of the booth. I gaped at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He just smiled down at me then said, completely ignoring my question, "Come on, baby, let's get you to class."

I glared at him as I stood up and grabbed my bag. He just chuckled as he followed me out of the diner.

We both settled inside his car and immediately pulled out of the parking space and drove back to the campus. It really wasn't a long drive to the building of my next class since the diner was just right outside the campus.

Ashton pulled up in front of the building and I turned to him with a smile and said, "Thanks for the ride and for the lunch."

"No problem," he smiled.

"See you later, Ash," I said then was about to open the door but he took hold of my arm, stopping me. I turned back to him with a confused look on my face.

He just smiled as he gently took hold of my face and pulled me to him as he also leaned closer and caught my lips in a soft, gentle kiss.

I immediately kissed him back, moving my lips with his accordingly. As soon as he pulled away I gave him a wide smile and said, "I like that."

"I like that too." He said then pecked my lips before he let go of my face. "I'll pick you up after work, ok?"

I nodded at him then turned around and opened the car door.

"See you later, baby," Ashton said as I stepped out of the car. I turned to close the door but not before waving at him goodbye with a smile.

As soon as he drove away, I stepped inside the building and headed for my next class. It was only an hour and after that, I am done with uni for the day.

I headed to my classroom and attended my last class today. It actually went well and I handed in my finished assignments before I headed out.

As soon as I stepped outside the building, I was met with a familiar set of blue eyes and a wide grin.

"Luke, hi! How are ya?" the strong Irish accent of Niall sounded.

I gave him a small smile and said, "I'm fine."

"That's great, well are you off somewhere?" He said as he started to walk beside me.

"Yeah, to the café I am working at. You?"

"I am actually on my way there too. I need some coffee. I hope you don't mind if I tag along with you."

"No, not at all."

Niall flashed me a wide grin which I returned with a small smile.

I don't really mind Niall's company or his presence. He's fun, chill, and friendly. I am just not really used to him around yet since I really haven't hung out with him aside from that frat party and I don't really remember a lot from that night except...well, don't really wanna talk about that.

"I really hope we can be friends, Luke. I really wanna be your friend and I am really sorry for what I did." Niall said, voice sounding sincere.

I turned my head and looked down at him and he looked back up at me with hopeful blue eyes. I gave him a smile and a genuine one and I said, "We can be friends, Niall."

"Really?" He asked with a really happy look on his face.

"Yeah," I said.

To my surprise, he suddenly hugged me from the side and said, "Thank you! I really thought you hated me."

"What? Why would I hate you?" I asked him as he let go of me and we continue to walk to the café.

"Because as Ashton had said, I am a 'dickhead and a menace' and he's not wrong," Niall told me but a bit jokingly in that manner.

I chuckled, "You know how Ashton can be sometimes."

"Yeah...and hella protective too," Niall said with a playful eye-roll as we both entered the café and headed straight to the counter to order.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, though I know exactly what he means I just want to hear him say it.

"You know exactly what I meant, Luke." He simply responded then turned away from me to order.

Roy is behind the counter and is the one to be taking our orders. I gave him a smile then asked, "Where's Mitchy?"

"At the back, getting some more cups," Roy responded with a smile.

Niall and I both gave our orders then waited a bit as Roy made them. As soon as it was served, I paid for both and Niall gave me a rather surprised look.

"I should be the one doing that you know since I owe you," Niall said as we headed back out and had ourselves seated at my usual table outside the café.

"Don't worry about it. And what do you mean by you owe me?" I asked him after taking a sip from my hot drink.

"I owe you a lot for my stupidity, Luke. I am really sorry about that." Niall said, more serious this time.

"It already happened, Niall. I know it wasn't your intention. It's all good, ok? Just promise me you won't do stupid things like that again. To me or to anyone."

"I promise and we both know Ashton would kill me if I put you in harm's way again," Niall said with a chuckle.

"Why do you keep saying that?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

Niall laughed, "That guy is overly protective of you, Luke. You'd be lying if you say, you can't see that. I know he doesn't show it to anyone and if he could erase shit from my memory, I know he would because he doesn't like people to know that he is capable of caring for anyone. But I saw everything that happened that night and I almost even got a punch on the face about it. But don't worry, I didn't tell anyone. Michael doesn't even know anything though he's Ashton's best friend. And uh...I bet no one also knows that you and Ash are not just mere acquaintances, right?"

I nodded at Niall. He smiled and continued, "It's ok, Luke. Your secret's safe with me. It's the least I could do for you."

"Thanks."

"No, thank you. You know...for giving me a chance."

I smiled at him. "How long have you known him?"

"Who? Ashton?" Niall asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah," I responded with a shrug.

"Well since my family moved here in Australia. Around 5 years ago, I think. I went to their school in high school and both he and Michael just immediately took me in. It was a really nice thing though since I am the new kid and a total stranger in this country and they are both nice enough to be friends with me. Especially when they kind of are really popular in school."

"Really? How so?" I asked with a smile. I'd really like to know anything about Ashton.

"He and Mike kind of had a band back then. They even let me in the band. There were two more members but they were a year behind us."

"They had a band? I mean, Ashton was in a band in high school?" I asked in a surprised tone, because who would think that? He even barely listens to music. He just does when I am with him, and that maybe is because he didn't wanna bore me since he knows I love listening to music.

"Yes, Luke," Niall replied with an amused look on his face, "he played the drums and he sings too. He was really good in my opinion. So is Mike."

"Wow. I just really can't believe it." I said with a chuckle. I looked at a smiling Niall and said, "What was he like?"

Upon hearing my question, Niall's smile faltered and looked down at his coffee on the table with a frown. He then looked back up to me and managed a smile though it didn't reach his eyes. Then with a longing look in his eyes as it was also laced in his voice, he said, "He was really nice. Always happy and always ready to help anyone." He then gave a sad chuckle and continued, "There is literally not a day that you would see him not smiling and laughing."

"What happened, Niall?" I asked voice so small that I didn't think Niall would hear.

But he did and he said, "I'm sorry, Luke, but it's not my story to tell. It would be better if everything would come from him."

I nodded, "I understand. I'm sorry."

Niall smiled, "Don't worry, Luke. He'll tell you eventually. I can feel it. He had warmed up to you and that is really a big deal when it comes to him, trust me. Him being like this with you, it's way far with how emotions go with Ashton now, so it's really something."

I didn't respond to Niall because I didn't know what to say. What he told me about Ashton just kept on circling around my head. It made me remember all Harry and Michael said about him too. What happened to him? What changed him?

"I didn't know you are also friends with the leprechaun," the familiar voice of Michael sounded, pulling me out of my thoughts and making me look up at him.

As usual, he is wearing his bright smile. I smiled up at him then looked at Niall who rolled his eyes at Michael.

"Why are you here, giant red pepper?" Niall asked, making me laugh.

Michael pouted and said in a child-like voice, "You're a meanie."

Niall made a disgusted face. Michael laughed then ruffled Niall's hair, making the Irish boy glare up at Michael for ruining his hair.

"So? Why are you here?" Niall asked Michael again. "Thought you don't have any class this afternoon."

"No, I don't. I just came to hand in mine and Ashton's assignments. Then get him his coffee." Michael answered Niall.

"Wait, where's Ash?" I asked Michael, wondering since it's not so Ashton to make or ask Michael to do stuff for him. Also, Ashton is usually here at the café during this time with me. I just got too caught up with chatting with Niall that I hadn't noticed he still hasn't arrived.

"He's at home," Michael replied.

"He sick or something?"

Michael chuckled then said, "Well, if you count a messed up face 'or something', then yeah."

"Wait what? Messed up face? What happened, Michael?" I asked Michael rather sternly. What is he talking about a messed up face? Did Ashton got beaten up? I was just with him two hours ago.

I heard Niall silently groan and I glanced at him and he was subtly glaring at Michael who is unaware of it. He does know something.

"I don't really know what happened, he won't tell me. Well, it's Ashton." Michael shrugged. "I should go get his coffee so I can go back to the apartment. I still have to be somewhere."

"Where?" Niall asked.

"Oh, Casey called me. Said he needed me back in the store so I have to go there and see what the problem was."

Niall nodded and with that Michael headed inside the café. As soon as he was gone, I looked at Niall with a raised questioning eyebrow.

"What?" He asked me warily.

"What do you know? And don't say that you don't know what I'm talking about because I know you know something and Michael isn't supposed to tell me but he didn't know that. Am I right?" I confronted Niall.

"I'm sorry, Luke," Niall said quietly.

"Ashton told you not to tell me, didn't he? But he can't tell that to Michael because he didn't know anything. But you do. So what happened Niall? And you are gonna tell me if you really wanna be friends with me."

Niall looked at me for a moment then huffed and said, "He got into a fight. He doesn't look really good that was why he didn't come here because he didn't want you to see him with a swollen face. The other guy was worse though. Only got to throw a couple of punches on Ashton. Well, who are we kidding? It's Ashton he's in a fight with. Just look at the man. He could take anyone. You really didn't have to worry."

"Seriously? You are gonna tell me not to worry about him after finding out he was in a fistfight?"

"Sorry."

I let out a sigh then stood up.

"Where are you going?" Niall quickly asked.

"I'm gonna tell Mitchy I won't be working today. I couldn't work knowing Ashton got into a fight." I told Niall and went inside the café. Michael was still on the line waiting for his turn and I ignored him as I headed straight into the back room to look for Mitchy.

He smiled at me as soon as he looked from the clipboard he was holding.

"Hi, Mitch," I approached with a smile, "uh...will it be ok if I take the day off? I just...something just suddenly came up."

"It's fine, Luke. You can take the day off. I can just have Roy or Dexter to help me out." Mitchy told me with a smile.

"Ok, cool. Thanks, man, and I'm really sorry."

"It's fine."

I gave him another smile and went back to the front just as Michael got his order and was about to head out.

"Mike!" I called out, making him halt by the door and turn back to me. He gave me a questioning look as he said, "Is everything ok, Luke?"

"Oh yeah...I was just wondering if maybe I can uh...get a ride with you back to the apartment? I mean, you told me Ashton was kind of beaten up or something and my dad is a doctor so I kind of know a thing or two about uh...you know first aid and stuff. Well, I'm pretty sure he didn't wanna go to a hospital or a clinic to get cleaned up. I could just do it for him." I rambled.

"Are you sure? Well, aren't you working?" Michael asked skeptically.

"Uh...took care of that already."

"Ok then, well let's go."

I smiled at him and we stepped outside. Niall was still at the table waiting for us. I came over to get my bag and told Niall, "Hey, I'm gonna go with Michael. Are you gonna be fine here? Alone?"

"Oh yeah. I'll be fine. Was gonna head back to the house anyway." Niall responded with a smile.

"Ok then."

"Well, thanks for the coffee, I guess and I'm really sorry about everything."

I gave him a smile, "No worries."

After then, I rushed to where Michael is and was a bit surprised that he was using Ashton's car. I quickly hopped in the passenger seat and settled in. I completely forgot I was with Michael in the car and since I was so accustomed to the vehicle already, I just did the usual things that I do when I get in it.

I tossed my bag into the backseat and then turned on some music and reached for the glove compartment where Ashton keeps some mints or gums.

I noticed Michael watching me as I popped a mint into my mouth and I then realized what I just did. I just gave Michael and innocent smile, acting as if I am oblivious about anything that's happening and fastened up my seatbelt. I was glad that Michael didn't say anything though and just pulled out of the parking space and drove back to the apartment.

As soon as we got there, I grabbed Ashton's coffee from the cup holder and reached for my bag from the back seat before climbing off the vehicle. Michael then followed and we both headed inside the building straight to the elevator.

"So your dad's a doctor?" Michael asked, breaking the silence between us while we stood inside the elevator waiting for it to bring us to our floor.

"Uh, yeah...he works at a hospital in the city," I responded. "He taught me and my brothers the basics about first aid and stuff. So you really don't have to worry, I can clean up Ashton's face."

"Well, I don't doubt that you could. I doubt if he will let you."

"I can handle him, Mike. Don't worry." I smiled at him and then the elevator doors opened and we both stepped out heading straight to his and Ashton's apartment. Michael opened the door and allowed me in.

"I'm gonna go to him first, ok? You know he can be a bit of an asshole sometimes." Michael said as he walked down the hall ahead of me. I trailed after him towards Ashton's room.

Michael right then opened the door on Ashton's room without knocking. I just stayed behind him out of Ashton's view.

"What took you so long?" I heard Ashton's voice, all sounding cold, and stern. "And where's my coffee?"

"Well there's actually someone here who wants to see you and will help clean up your fucked up face," Michael told him, completely ignoring his questions.

"Who?" Ashton asked.

Michael turned to me and gestured for me to go inside Ashton's room. I did so and I almost froze on my step in surprise after seeing him sitting on his bed, his face having cuts and bruises all over it. He got cuts on his cheek, eyebrow, and his bottom lip. A purplish color is also forming under his eye.

Ashton's expression is pretty much surprised as well as he saw me. He then turned and glared at Michael and said, "Michael what the fuck?"

"What? He said he can help clean your face up." Michael responded with the same tone as Ashton's.

"You just can't keep your mouth shut sometimes, can you?"

"Oh, shut it, Ashton!" I snapped at him, making silence fell into the room. I turned to Michael and said with a small smile, "It's ok, Mike. I can handle it from here. You have to be somewhere, yeah?"

"Uh...yeah," Michael responded with a nod. He glanced at Ashton then back to me and smiled, "Well, see you later."

I nodded at him and smiled.

As soon as he left, I looked at Ashton who was still sitting on his bed but obviously avoiding looking at me. I rolled my eyes and went over to him. I dropped my bag by the foot of his bed and sat down on the edge as I handed him his coffee.

He took it from me, took a sip, but didn't say anything. I let out a sigh then reached over to his face but he moved away before I can even touch him.

"I have to see your face, ok? I have to see if there is any serious damage to it." I told him, voice calm yet stern. I am feeling kinda mad at him right now for trying to keep this from me.

"Why are you here? You have work." He said, ignoring what I told him.

"Do you think I could still work after knowing this? Now let me see your face."

"It's nothing, ok? Just leave it." He snapped.

"Really? You're gonna be an asshole to me now too? Again?"

This time he lifted his face up and drifted his gaze to me. I gasped as I saw his face, now clearly seeing the damage up close. I then let out a huff and said, "Do you have anything I can use to clean all this up?"

"Are you mad at me?" He asked instead, completely ignoring my question.

"We can discuss that later. But right now, I need to clean your face, Ashton. I really don't like seeing you like this."

He let out a sigh then said, "In the bathroom."

I nodded and held out a hand for him and said, "Come one."

He glanced at my hand then back to my eyes before he took it and climbed off the bed with me. I didn't let go of his hand as I took him with me to the bathroom.

He took a sip of his coffee that's still in his hand as we entered the bathroom. He told me where the stuff I need were and he leaned his hip against the sink counter placing his coffee on it.

I took a hand towel and drenched it with water and stood in front of him examining his face. His eyes were focused on me but I didn't let it bother me because I just want to clean his face up.

I started to dap the wet towel on his cut on his cheek. He flinched at first but then stayed in place with an emotionless look on his face.

"Are you really planning of keeping this from me? And what? You're just gonna hide from me and lie until all of these disappear?" I confronted him as I cleaned up all his other cuts and internally thanked god that they were all just minor cuts.

He didn't respond and just stared at me with that unreadable look on his face. I started cleaning up the rest of his face, carefully avoiding the bruise under his right eye.

"Do you really think I wouldn't care if I don't see you? That I could just go on day after day without wondering why you are not showing up your ass when we just live right across from each other and go to the same fucking uni? Do you really think I would just believe any lie you would tell me as to why we can't see each other and will just wait until you decide to show up and would just act as if nothing happened? You think I won't come looking for you and see what the fuck happened to you? Do you think I wouldn't worry about my-," I stopped, immediately realizing what I was about to say then let out a breath and said, "do you really think I wouldn't worry about you?"

I looked at him, my breathing deep and hard with all these emotions I am feeling inside. I am angry and worried and sad yet also relieved that this is just what happened to him and nothing worse. I tried so hard to push back the tears forming in my eyes.

Ashton was also looking at me but this time, his eyes are soft and apologetic. He then brought his hands and cupped my face. I didn't move and just stared at him with teary eyes until I couldn't help it any longer and let them fall.

I don't wanna cry in front of him because of this but I can't help it when I am feeling too much. I know I may seem to be over-reacting over this but I just couldn't bear the thought of what if something worse has happened and I don't know anything about it.

I felt his thumbs wipe away my tears that have run down on my cheeks. I sniffed and said, "I had to find out about it accidentally from your best friend. Even Niall knows and you told him not to tell me," I then pulled his hands away from my face because I am just angry, "Why, Ashton? Do I mean nothing to you?" Then a realization hit me and I pain shot through my chest and I looked at him with sad eyes, tears running down my cheeks, and said in a small voice, "Were all those things you told me about how you feel about me - were they all lies? You just made me believe them? Are you playing a game on me?"

Ashton's eyes widened in surprise. "What? No! Luke, baby, no!" He rushed out as he immediately brought his hands back on the sides of my face thumbs wiping my tears away. I averted my gaze from him and then he softly said, "Hey, baby, look at me."

I couldn't help but do as told. As soon as my eyes landed on his face, he gave me a small sweet smile and said, "I didn't lie to you about how I feel about you. I could never do that to you. I am really crazy about you, Luke."

"Then why do this, Ashton?" I asked him.

He closed his eyes for a moment then sighed out and opened his eyes, looking at me again, and said, "I'm sorry, baby. I'm really sorry. I know I shouldn't have kept it from you. I was just..." he looked down as his hands fell down from my face too. I almost whined at the loss of contact. I may be angry at him right now but his touches always give me comfort.

"What?" I pushed.

"I was scared that you'd hate me for getting into a fight." He said in a small voice.

"Wait what?"

looked back up at me with sad eyes and said, "I was scared, Luke, that you'd hate me because I can't do a nice thing. We just had our talk earlier and look at what happened. I got into a fight. I'm just scared, Luke, that you'd hate me because I could never be more than an asshole."

"Ash...why would you think that?" I asked him, now my anger evaporating from my body. "Why would you ever think that I would hate you? I could never hate you. I told you that already."

Ashton chuckled, shaking his head as if I just said the most ridiculous thing. I looked at him in disbelief, "Why do you do that? Why don't you believe that I could never hate you?"

"Because I am not some saint, Luke. I have done a lot of shit in my life before that would make you hate me." Ashton said not looking at me.

"Yes, you may have done a lot of shit, Ash, but that doesn't mean I would hate you. The things that people have done in their lives do not define them as a person."

Ashton looked at me in the eyes and then smiled and said, "You are too good for me."

I just gave him a smile then placed both of my hands on his face, careful to avoid the cuts and bruises though. Then I gently pulled him to me as I leaned in and caught his lips in a soft gentle kiss but I then quickly pulled away, tasting a bit of blood from the cut on his bottom lip.

"I really shouldn't have done that. Did I hurt you?" I asked him worriedly.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and then realized he had a cut on his lips. He chuckled and then shook his head 'no'.

I sighed then gently caressed his cheeks with my thumb as I studied his face. He may look like a mess right now but he's still so amazingly beautiful. How is he even real?

He then brought up his hands and took mine from his face and held them on his. He gave them a gentle squeeze as he said, looking straight in my eyes, "I'm really sorry, Luke. I'm sorry I keep letting you down."

"You don't let me down, Ash," I sincerely told him.

He smiled at me and I returned the gesture, squeezing his hand back.

"Let's finish this up," I told him as I pulled my hands from his and got some band-aids to put on his cuts. I gently covered his cuts with the band-aids, except for the one on his bottom lip.

As I finished up, I gently traced the bruise under his right eye with my fingertips and silently said, "Who was it?"

"Luke..." he said in a warning tone.

"Do I know who you got a fight into?" I asked him looking at his eyes.

He tried to look away from me but I held his chin, making him look back up at me. He let out a huff and said, "It's Andrew."

"What?" I said, almost in a whisper, letting go of him and dropping my hands to my side.

"I couldn't stop myself, Luke," Ashton said then tore his gaze away from me and said, voice filled with anger, "When I saw him, rage just took over in my system. I wanted to kill him for what he did to you."

"Ash..." I said but he still didn't look at me. I brought a hand up and placed it on his cheek and gently turned his face, making him look at me again.

His angered eyes quickly turned soft and he said, "If it wasn't for Niall, I would've had hurt him worse than I already had. I'm really sorry, Luke."

I don't know what to say so I just stood there with my hand on Ashton's cheek as I looked at him with teary eyes. He was in a fight with Andrew because of me. I caused this. He got hurt because of me.

Without thinking anymore, I pulled Ashton into a tight hug and I let go of the tears in my eyes when I felt his arms circle around my waist. I sobbed on his neck and said between sobs, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Ashton stilled and gently pulled away to look at me. I tried to look away from him but he gently held my face with both of his hands with his thumbs wiping my tears away. I sniffled as I looked at him in the eyes. His eyes were all worried yet soft.

"Baby, are you ok? Why are you saying you're sorry? You didn't do anything." Ashton said in a soft tone yet so worried.

"You got hurt because of me," I told him in a small voice.

"What? No? Please, no, don't blame yourself. I got hurt because of me. Not you."

"I was the reason why you got into a fight. I was even an asshole to you before because of this. Before I even tried to know why. I'm so sorry, Ash."

"Fuck. Baby, no. Please, stop blaming yourself. Please."

"But-"

"No, buts. This is not your fault."

I didn't say anything and just continued to cry as I averted my gaze from him. I was being such a bitch to him. I snapped at him and confronted him. But then I was the reason why he got into a fight.

"Baby..." Ashton quietly said.

"I'm really sorry, Ash," I said to him as I looked back at him. "I was such a bitch to you. I got mad at you and confronted you, even accused you when all you did was for me. You got hurt because of me. You got into a fight with Andrew because of me. You did all these for me and all I did was bitch out on you. I'm so sorry, Ash."

"Baby...please stop saying that. Stop blaming yourself. Stop making yourself feel bad about it. I didn't even really get hurt. It's just a few cuts and bruises," Ashton said trying to calm me.

"But I really don't like seeing you like this."

"Well you're already helping me, aren't you? And hey...you know I would do anything for you," Ashton said in a light tone, trying to lighten up the mood.

I blushed at his statement and I looked down, making him chuckle, "It's true, Luke. I'd do anything for you and to protect you."

I smiled then huffed and said, "You know it's kinda funny when you did this for me, got into a fight and saying you'd do anything for me when I don't even really know what we really are."

"What do you mean?" Ashton asked with a furrowed eyebrows.

Shit. I shouldn't have said that. Luke, you really need to learn how to think before speaking sometimes.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"It's not just nothing, Luke," he said. "You got something in your mind that you're afraid to say. Say it. Tell me what's bothering you."

I looked at him in the eyes and I can his eyes are searching on mine. Searching for something so I said, "I know you told me how you hated labels in general and obviously that includes labels in relationships. It's just that...I don't know what to call us: I don't know what to call you. It's just that...I really like you, Ash, you know that. We've established that between ourselves already. But...I just feel that if I am going to be with you, I would need security, Ash. I want us to be official. But...if you don't want that, it's fine, I understand. Just don't drop me like I'm nothing when you don't want me anymore."

Ashton's eyes turned all soft and then he said, "Luke, baby, please don't ever think that I am using you or something because I am not. I may not be all this expert when expressing feelings or being showy, I may be rude and an asshole sometimes, but please know that I feel a lot for you and I would never drop you because I am pretty sure to myself that I would never stop wanting you. To be quite honest, I am the one who's really scared that you would leave me at some point because you'll get tired of me or something. No one would ever want to be with an asshole like me."

"Ash...don't think that. Yeah, you can have an asshole attitude sometimes, but you are not an asshole. You know what I mean? And no, I would never leave you for that. I see a whole lot in you, Ash. That's basically why I got really attracted to you. You know, your amazingly good looks set aside."

Ashton chuckled, "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?"

"Shut up," I mumbled as I looked down, trying to hide my red cheeks. I am never good with compliments especially coming from Ashton.

"Beautiful and adorable," Ashton whispered with an amused look on his face.

I glared at him as I said, "I'm really gonna punch you in the face right now."

Ashton laughed then pecked my lips. "So...you were really bothered about what we really are?"

I blushed again in embarrassment but then nodded and said, "I'm just...I didn't want to assume stuff, you know and I just need some kind of security. I didn't wanna call you my...my boyfriend when you're not."

"Am I not already?" Ashton raised a questioning eyebrow but still held that amused look on his face.

"What?"

"Well, we are together, yeah?"

"Yeah...but it's just...you know...we never really discussed it like that and made it official and also I just really didn't wanna assume."

Ashton fondly smiled then said, "Well, Luke Hemmings, will you be my boyfriend?"

I was actually surprised by his question. I was really expecting him to tell me that he doesn't want it like this because he hates labels. But him saying - asking - me this...it just made my heart do flips. I chuckled then said, "You kidding me? Haven't you realized that I really got this massive crush on you? Do you think I would be saying all these shit if not? Of course, I would want to be your boyfriend, you asshole."

Ashton laughed and I could help but laugh along as I adored him. He then pulled me into a kiss after and I didn't mind if he has a cut on his lip because I just wanna kiss him too.

"You know," he said as we pulled away from the kiss, "it's really better if we are official because as you know I can be really possessive and now, I could really call you 'mine' and I really don't wanna share you with anyone." He then frowned and continued, "I hope you didn't take what I said the wrong way."

I chuckled as I cupped his face with my hands and pecked his lips and said, "Don't worry...I know exactly what you mean and I feel the same, boyfriend."

Ashton laughed, "You really are something, Luke Hemmings."

I smiled and pecked his lips again. I looked at his face and caressed his cheeks with my thumb and said, "But can we still just keep us a secret? It's just that, I'm still trying to figure out how we tell our friends about us. Especially when they don't even think that we're friends. I know Niall does have an idea about us and me being gay and Calum knows I'm gay but Michael doesn't. And Michael kinda thinks we are friends of some sort but Calum doesn't and he also doesn't know I am friends with your brother either. Then your brother doesn't have any idea the real deal between us. It's just still a bit complicated you know? And I am still trying to figure out how to reveal everything to them in a less messy way."

Ashton smiled, "I completely understand, Luke. Well, I agree with you, really. Everything is still so complicated and they'd probably blow their heads off when they find out I'm in a relationship and being all soft with you. You know how that is so not me."

"Yeah, because you're all so grumpy and serious and heartless," I said with a smirk.

"But never heartless to you," he smiled.

I smiled back and caught his lips with a kiss which he quickly responded. I felt his arms wrapped around my waist, him pulling me closer. I then felt Ashton's tongue playing with my lip ring, making me smile against his lips.

"What?" He whispered against my lips.

"You really do have a thing for my lip ring, don't you?" I whispered.

"Hmmm...so hot."

I chuckled then caught his lips again, earning a response immediately. I then felt Ashton's tongue brush against my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I didn't take long and granted it immediately. As soon as his tongue met mine, the battle for dominance quickly started and he kissed me deeper. My arms then traveled around his shoulders with one hand finding its way to tangle into his hair. I felt his tongue brush against the roof of my mouth, making me release a moan through the kiss and gently tugging on his curls. I felt his arms tightened around me and pulled me even closer if that is possible.

We held each other as close as possible as our tongues wrestled and moans escaped from both of us until we had to pull away to catch our breaths. We both looked at each other in the eyes and gave each other a fond smile.

"Thank you for everything that you've done for me," I told him quietly.

He smiled and pecked my lips before he said, "Thanks for being mine."

"Fucking cheesy," I commented with a playful smirk.

"You started it," he replied with a shrug.

I chuckled but then frowned and traced his bruise with my fingertips and said, "I really don't like seeing you like this."

"It won't happen again. I promise."

"You better keep that promise."

"I will."

"Good."

"So, stay the night?" Ashton asked with a smile.

"How about Michael?" I asked.

"He won't be back 'til tomorrow."