7

~Luke~

---

"Mali is coming home this weekend!" Calum announced with a huge, excited grin as I walked out of the café after my shift.

As I have asked him, he did come and picked me up in which by the way didn't go well when I told Ashton that Calum would be coming to pick me up tonight. Our little coffee bonding which was actually nice since he did manage to surprise me with a really delicious coffee (though it was not really a surprise that he was able to surprise me with a coffee 'cause I knew it already that he would), but it kind of ended sadly. Ashton was not at all glad that I asked Calum to pick me up and not him since it was always him picking me up from work for a few weeks now. His mood changed drastically and left me in the café half an hour before my shift without saying anything. It was the first time he did that since he always waits for my shift to start before he leaves. I don't really understand why he acted like that and made a big deal about it. But I have to somehow stick to my plan until I will be able to figure out what to do about everything.

"Hey? Did you hear me?" Calum asked worriedly, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah, I did. Mali is coming home. That is some really great news." I said with as much enthusiasm as I can which clearly isn't enough with the frown on Calum's face.

Calum looked me for a moment, eyebrows furrowed together as if he was thinking something so deep.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

I sighed, "Cal, I'm fine."

"Are you sure, Luke? You've been a bit off lately. Always spacing out or being so deep into your thoughts." He told me, worry evident in his voice.

"I'm just tired of school and work. It's nothing serious." I said as I started walking to where he parked his car with him walking beside me.

"It doesn't look like that to me." He softly said. "The way you are acting now is exactly the way you were acting before. You're starting to close off into yourself again. I'm scared to think that you are having trouble - huge troubles - again. That you are dealing with stuff and you're not telling me and I'm just...I'm just worried that you'd shut people out again. That you'd shut me out again."

I stopped walking, making Calum also stop walking and look at me. I turned to him and gave a small smile and I said, "It would never happen again, ok? I would never do that to you or to anyone again. Well, especially you. You're my best friend. My brother even."

Calum smiled back then pulled me into a hug. "Just promise me that you'd tell me if anything keeps on bothering your mind, okay?"

I nodded against his shoulder and I couldn't stop myself from thinking back to what happened before. I was an awful friend to Calum. I was consumed with the idea that I am alone and no one cares about me that I started shutting people out including Calum who was always there for me. That even if I pushed him away and shut him out, he stayed there for me. I knew I hurt him and I couldn't do that to him again.

But the thing is, I can't tell him what is bothering me right now. I know he knows some shit is going on with me. This kid knows me inside out. He even knows me better than my own family. But I just can't tell him. I can't tell him anything involving Ashton. I can't tell him that I am growing feelings for Ashton. I can't tell him things that would lead to questions that I don't even have answers to.

I pulled away from the hug. I gave Calum a smile as I said, "Thanks, Cal. For always being there for me."

"Of course, I'll always be there for you."

I smiled then we continued walking to his car. "So Mali's coming home?" I asked as we got inside the vehicle.

"Yeah. It's been a while since the last time she was home." Calum said as he drove off. The excitement in his voice immediately came back.

"I wish I could see her." I frowned.

"Then come home with me," Calum suggested.

"I can't. I got tons of shit to do." I told Calum with a sad expression. I do have a lot of things to do: from all the school work to the whole Ashton thing. I have to figure out what am I going to do with him. As soon as possible.

"Sucks."

"Can't argue with that. So when will you be leaving?"

"Uh...tomorrow after lunch maybe."

"How long will Mali be home?"

"Just five days."

"Oh...so you'll be gone for five days too?"

"Yeah, much likely."

"Oh..."

"Are you gonna miss me?" Calum asked, glancing at me with wiggling eyebrows.

I laughed and shoved him playfully by the shoulder. "Well yeah...I think I'm gonna miss you."

"You think?" Calum said as if he was offended.

I laughed again, "I'm gonna miss you, Cal."

"You should."

"Damn. The apartment would be so quiet."

"Are you saying that I'm very loud?"

I chuckled, "You kinda are."

"I hate you."

"I'll just invite Michael over then."

"Why don't you invite Ashton?" He said with a smirk. I tensed.

"What?" I turned to him with a hint of surprise in my voice and my mind flooding with a lot of possibilities as to what Calum meant about what he said.

Calum chuckled, "I challenge you to invite grumpy old Ashton to the apartment and hang out with him."

I instantly relaxed and let out an awkward chuckle as I turned my attention back to the road ahead. "No. Not gonna happen."

Calum laughed, "He is really some guy, isn't he?"

"Why would you say that?" I asked Calum, wanting to know what he thinks about Ashton. We never really talked about Ashton before aside from some little comments here and there.

I know it's not really nice to talk about people behind their backs but I just need to know what Calum thinks about him.

"I mean, he's angry...he's kind of so mad about the world that he lost all kinds of emotions. You know what I mean? It's kind of scary to be honest. I can't even believe Michael's friends with him and living with him. They're completely different. I mean, if someone would tell me that Ashton has killed someone before, I'd probably believe it."

"That is some judging there don't you think? I mean, I understand where you're going but we don't know the real story about him, you know. You remember what Michael said this morning? Shit happened to him and that changed him."

"I know...I'm sorry. It's not my intention to judge."

"I understand."

Calum smiled, "Do you think we'll ever be friends with him? You know, hang out with him and stuff?"

"Maybe, yeah. We can't really tell. But it's possible since we are kind of friends with Michael." I told Calum.

"We are friends with Michael." Calum corrected me.

I smiled at him and nodded. "Well, that makes it more possible for Ashton and us to hang out one day. I really think we'll do eventually."

Calum nodded. I focused my attention out on the window. I feel guilty about not telling Calum the truth that Ashton and I are actually hanging out without all of them knowing. I didn't tell him because Ashton didn't tell anyone. Michael was even surprised to see us together at the café yesterday. So I figured I just better keep myself mum about it as well.

It wasn't long then and we arrived at the apartment. Both Calum and I stepped out of the car and headed inside the building. While in the elevator, my phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that Ashton sent me a text.

Ashton: Where are you?

Me: Just arrived at the apartment. Why?

Ashton: Just checking. Did Calum pick you up?

Me: Yes, he did.

Just as I hit send, the elevator door opened, making me lock my phone and inserted it back into my pocket.

"Who were you texting?" Calum asked as we stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hallway to our apartment door.

"Just someone from one of my classes, asking about an assignment," I lied.

Calum nodded and inserted his key into the keyhole then opened the door. As we were about to enter the apartment, we were stopped by Michael calling, "Hey! Guys!"

Both Calum and I turned to Michael's direction and saw him walking towards us with that usual warm, bright smile on his face.

I smiled back at him but that quickly faded when I saw Ashton walking behind him.

"Ashton and I are going out tonight, you wanna come?" Michael invited us as he stood before us with Ashton standing next to him, looking at Calum then at me with his usual blank expression.

"Where you headed?" I asked.

"At a party that Jack and Alex are hosting." Michael replied.

I looked at Ashton for a moment and saw him staring intently at me. I turned my attention to Calum and gave him a questioning look.

"Are you gonna go?" Calum asked me.

Well I really don't want to be rude to Michael but I really don't want to go. It's a party they were going to and I still have a bit of trauma about parties since the last time I attended one, I almost got raped. I am still very much not over that one. Though it was only Ashton and Niall and of course that asshole, Andrew, who actually knows about it, but still...it was a horrible experience and really terrifying. And of course, I don't want any more people to know about that, especially Calum.

Also, I am supposed to be avoiding Ashton, right? Well, I really haven't decided about that 'avoiding Ashton stuff' but I shouldn't be really spending too much time with him.

So I turned back to Michael who has this hopeful look in his eyes and gave him a small smile and said, "I'm really sorry, Michael, but I'm gonna pass for tonight. Kind of feeling tired and a little sick."

"How about you, Cal?" He asked Calum.

"I really wanted to but I can't. I gotta go home tomorrow so I must try to avoid going home with a hangover. I'm pretty sure I'd end up drinking if I'd go. I'm really sorry, Mike. Maybe next time." Calum told Michael.

Michael smiled brightly though there was a hint of disappointment in his eyes. "Nah...that's ok. I understand."

"Well you go have fun." I told them.

"Oh, we will!" Michael said with a smirk and knowing look which made Calum and I laugh.

Ashton rolled his eyes at Michael's statement then said to Michael, "Come on."

This time Michael rolled his eyes then turned to Calum and I and said, "Well, bye guys!"

I waved them goodbye as Calum gave them, well just Michael, a nod.

As they both headed for the elevator, Calum also headed inside our shared apartment. I gave a last look on Ashton and Michael and was met with a pair of beautiful hazel-green orbs.

I gave Ashton a small smile and he gave me a nod as he followed Michael inside the elevator.

I sighed and stepped inside the apartment, closed the door and headed straight into my room.

I tossed my bag into the floor and let myself fall back into my bed. My phone buzzed again and I pulled it out from my pocket. It was another text from Ashton.

Ashton: I'm sorry about that.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion then typed in my reply.

Me: For what?

I waited for a reply but it didn't come. I figured maybe Ashton had just wrongly sent the text.

I sighed then placed my phone on the nightstand. I stood up from the bed and decided to take a shower.

When I came back to my room, fresh from the shower and a towel wrapped around my waist, the first thing I noticed was my phone ringing on the nightstand.

"It's been ringing non-stop that I was almost tempted to answer it." Calum said from inside his room which was right opposite to mine.

"I'm sorry. I forgot to switch it to silent." I told Calum.

"That's fine. But you should answer it now. It probably is really important whoever that is since they won't stop calling." Calum said with a smile.

I gave him a nod then fully entered my room and closed my door as Calum also closed his door.

My phone has stopped ringing when I went over to it. I looked at the screen and saw the 5 missed calls from Ashton.

Why is he calling me? What does he want?

I was about to open up my phone and type in a message when another call from him came. His name is flashed on the screen.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver as I answered the call and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Where were you? I've been calling you." Ashton sounded, more like shouted, from the other end. I could hear the loud music from the background so that was probably why he was shouting.

"I took a shower, why?" I responded.

"What?" He asked, clearly not hearing what I just said.

"I was taking a shower. What do you want?" I said, this time a bit louder for him to hear me over the loud music.

I heard him let out a breath then he said, "Hang on for moment, okay?"

I wasn't able to respond since I already heard some shuffling and some cursing from Ashton telling people to get out of his way. I figured he was making his way out of the party.

I waited for a moment and the loud music suddenly ceased and I heard Ashton's voice once again. "Luke, are you still there?"

"Yeah, I am here."

"I'm sorry about the noise."

"It's fine, so why'd you call?"

"I just want to apologize about earlier."

I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion, "What about earlier?"

"About Michael inviting you to the party. I know you are still not comfortable about parties after what Andrew did that was why you refused to come. Michael didn't know anything and you don't want any more people to know than those who already do so that's why I'm apologizing because I am aware of everything and yet I didn't do anything about it. I'm sorry, Luke." Ashton explained from the other end of the line and I was left speechless after hearing what he said. I mean, I don't know how to react about it because I wasn't truly expecting this.

He's right about everything well maybe except for the 'he didn't do anything' part because he has done more than enough for me when it comes to this: more than I could ever ask for.

"Ash..." I silently said, somehow able to say something. "You didn't have to apologize."

"But-"

"Ashton." I said, cutting him off and then continued, "You didn't have to apologize and you didn't have to think that it's your job to do this and do that because it's not. You have done so much for me already and I am more than grateful about it. And Michael didn't know anything so it's ok."

"Luke..."

I chuckled then told him, "You know, I should be the one apologizing to you."

"Apologize to me about what?" He asked, confusion clear in his voice.

"For being such a burden. I know I am and I'm sorry."

I heard him sigh and then he said, "Luke...we've been over this and I'm gonna tell you what I told you before: You are not a burden."

"I really do feel like I am..." I quietly said. It's the truth though. Ever since what happened with Andrew, I feel like I have been a burden to Ashton. He was the one who saved me. He took care of me and until now he still does. I feel like I am making him obligated to do all of these for me.

"Luke, you are not a burden. Stop thinking and making yourself believe that you are. Please. I don't want you doing that. You are way more than that. You are so much more who deserves even more. Promise me you will never ever say that nor think that, and especially ever believe that. Please, Luke."

As I listened to Ashton say all that, my heart seemed like it skipped a beat and that there are a lot of flutterings in my stomach. God, all the things this guy makes me feel. I am such a sucker for him.

I know I am the one who is responsible and to be blamed for making myself feel all these things for Ashton. I let myself fall into this trap. It's not Ashton's fault that I grew feelings for him. He is not aware that I always get affected with all the things he says and does for me. I know none of it meant more than a friendly act.

There is even a very huge possibility that Ashton is 100% straight. He may have a gay brother and he may not care about a person's sexuality but it doesn't mean that he is not straight, right?

"Luke...?" Ashton sounded from the other end of the call pulling me out of my thoughts and obviously checking if I am still here by the tone of his voice.

I let out a breath then said, "Ok, Ash...I promise."

"Do you mean it?" He asked in a small voice that for a second I wondered if it really was him.

"Yes, I mean it."

"Okay...thank you."

"Okay..."

It then went silent between us. Neither of us dared to speak and neither dared to end the call.

"So..." Ashton was the one who broke the silence, "I think I should go. Michael might be wondering now where I have gone."

"Yeah...I think I should also go and change." I responded.

"Change? Are you going somewhere?"

"No, I'm not. I just...I haven't changed yet to you know...to any kind of clothing."

"You're naked right now?"

"Well if you won't count the towel then yes."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Okay, how did everything become so awkward all of a sudden?

"Uh, so yeah, bye." I quickly said to Ashton then ended the call without letting him say anything.

I placed my phone down on the nightstand then stood up from the bed and went over to the dresser. I pulled out a drawer and grabbed a pair of boxers then grabbed a random gray shirt from my closet. I quickly put it on then decided to get to bed.

As I was laying comfortably on my bed, my phone buzzed again. I reached out for it and saw a text from Ashton.

Ashton: Goodnight, Luke...

As simple as the text says, it makes me feel a whole lot more. I cursed myself for always reacting like this for everything Ashton.

I huffed then typed in a reply.

Me: Goodnight, Ash.

I hit send then placed my phone back on my nightstand and laid back on my bed comfortably. I felt my eyes closing and I let myself drift into sleep and I may have or may have not dreamt about a certain curly, honey-blonde and hazel-green eyed boy.

---

A continuous knock on my door woke me up. I grabbed my phone and checked the time. It was 10:47AM.

"Luke!" I heard Calum call from the other side of my door.

"Yeah," I answered in a groggy morning voice so I cleared my throat before speaking up again. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Well, can I come in?" Calum asked.

I got up from my bed and opened the door and was met by a beaming Calum.

I chuckled at him then let him in my room. He headed straight to my bed and dove on it face first then quickly rolled to lay on his back. I followed him and sat down on the edge.

"Let's go have some lunch." Calum said.

"Lunch?" I asked.

"Yeah. Well we haven't had lunch together, you know, since school started. Like we didn't go out to have lunch, you know what I mean? So I figured, since I'm going home today and will be gone for a few days so maybe we should go out and have lunch before I leave?"

I looked at Calum with an amused look on my face because of how awkward he sounded. I noticed him slightly blush. I laughed then said, "A lunch would be nice. But you're paying."

Calum chuckled, "Fine. Now get dressed."

"Let me take a quick shower first."

Calum rolled his eyes, "Can't really get out of the apartment without a shower."

"Fuck you."

Calum laughed, "Be sure to make it quick."

This time I was the one who rolled my eyes, "Get out now."

Calum chuckled then got up from bed and left.

I quickly grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower. It was surprisingly a quick one though. I always take long showers. I just enjoy it so I take my time.

Anyway, as soon as I was done, I returned to my room and changed. I put on a pair of ripped black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, then topped it off with a dark blue denim jacket. I then put on a pair of my black old converse.

I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed out when seeing my messy hair. I am not in a mood for styling it up especially because it would take time so I decided to just hide this mess of a hair with a snapback.

I then grabbed my phone from my nightstand and looked around the room for my wallet which was on top of my dresser. I was about to go with having everything that I need but then something caught my eye.

I went back to my dresser and picked up the small and familiar black box that was placed on top of it. I opened it and found my lip ring which I haven't worn for quite a while. I smiled to myself and decided to put it back on. I rushed back to the bathroom to clean then put it back on my lip. I looked at myself through the bathroom mirror then smiled as I played with the ring with my teeth.

I looked at myself through the bathroom mirror then smiled as I played with the ring with my teeth.

"Luke!" I heard Calum call.

"Coming!" I called back and rushed out of the bathroom to the living room.

Calum was already at the door waiting for me. He turned to me when feeling my presence and I beamed at him.

His eyes widened for a moment then grinned as he said, "I haven't seen you with that in a while."

I right then knew he was talking about my lip ring. "Yeah," I responded. "Figured I kinda want to wear it again. Does it look ok though?"

"You always look good with that." Calum said with a smile.

I playfully rolled my eyes then chuckled.

"Come on now." Calum said then opened the door of the apartment and walked out. I followed after him then closed and locked the door.

We were on our way to the elevator when it opened and Ashton stepped out, all his attention to his phone. My eyes widened and I almost gasped in surprise and I didn't even know why I reacted like that. Goodthing I was walking behind Calum though and he didn't see my reaction.

As soon as Ashton looked up, our eyes immediately met and he stopped on his tracks and subtly eyed me up and down then he glanced at Calum then back to me as he said, "Calum. Luke."

Both Calum and I also stopped walking right in front of Ashton. Tension was all over the place and I know everyone could feel it.

Calum looked at me, surprise clear on his face. I just gave him a knowing look and turn back to Ashton and said, "Hey, Ashton."

"You going somewhere?" Ashton asked us but his eyes is locked on mine.

"Uh...yeah. Just gonna go grab some lunch." I told him.

Ashton nodded, "Okay. Well see ya."

"Okay, see ya."

He glanced at Calum again and gave him a nod which Calum returned. His gaze fell back to me and I saw the sides of his mouth tug up just a little as he looked at me in the eyes then glanced down to... maybe my mouth? then back to my eyes.

He then walked past us to his and Michael's apartment and Calum and I headed to the elevator. As soon as we stepped inside, Calum said, "Now, that was new."

"What was?" I asked Calum, acting innocent even though I already knew what he was talking about.

"Ashton? He just talked to us." Calum pointed out.

"Uh...yeah...maybe he's not in a bad mood today or maybe he's loosening up because you know, we're friends with Michael." I told Calum though I kind of know why Ashton did that.

"Yeah...maybe. It just kind of feels weird though."

I chuckled but wasn't able to respond when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw a text from Ashton. I furrowed my eyebrows and opened the text.

Ashton: Your lip ring looks hot. I didn't know you had one.

Hot? Ok, since when did he use that word? To me, specifically.

Me: Thanks, I guess. I had these back in high school but stopped wearing it after graduation. I even have forgotten about it but then saw it again when I was changing so I decided to put it back on since I kinda miss wearing it.

Ashton: You shouldn't take it off again. It looks good on you. And you should wear snapback more often as well. You look good with it.

What? Is he really complimenting me right now? Is he ok? Is he still drunk? I mean, yeah, Ashton can be supportive of me at times but complimenting me like this? Saying 'hot' or noticing what I'm wearing? I Is he trying to kill me? 'Cause I think I might have a heart attack. It's not every day that your crush notices you and compliments you, you know.

Me: Oh. Ok. I'll keep that in mind.

I sent my reply as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Calum stepped out first and I followed after him. My phone buzzed again and I read Ashton's reply.

Ashton: Good. Well have fun on your lunch with Calum.

Me: Ok. I will. Thanks.

I didn't get a reply after that and Calum and I drove to a restaurant.

We chose a table outside the restaurant we are eating at. As soon as we are settled in our seats, a waiter gave us the menu and then left to give us time to order.

"Luke..." I heard Calum say which made me look up at him with a raised eyebrow in a questioning manner.

He huffed and said, "You know, there really is a reason why I brought you out for lunch today before I head back home."

I slowly put my menu down and looked at Calum with furrowed eyebrows in a worried manner. Calum gave me a small smile and said, "Are you okay?"

Now I gave him a confused look and said, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Luke, I know we've kind of talked about this already but...I don't know...you just seemed a bit distant lately and sometimes you space out and stuff and..." he sighed, "it just worries me a lot, you know."

"Cal..." I said, looking at Calum with a small smile on my lips. "I'm fine. You really don't have to worry. And...I'm really sorry if I make you feel like that, but really, I promise, everything's ok. I'm just really...you know, caught up with everything in uni and work. Just...stop worrying ok? I know I may not sound convincing because of my actions but I promise you it's no big deal."

Calum stared at me for a moment before he nodded then said, "Ok, Luke. I just don't want to leave without making sure that you're fine. I mean...I'd be gone for five days and you'd be alone the whole time."

"I won't really be alone, you know. I mean in the apartment, yes, but outside, not really. I got uni and the café. And if I get bored at home maybe I'll just have Michael over or Mitchy."

"I like Mitchy. He's cool, I can say, though I only met him once." Calum commented.

I smiled, "Yeah, I like him too."

"Like?" Calum then said in a teasing tone with a smirk.

I burst out laughing, making him frown, then I said, "Oh god, no. I mean, Mitchy's nice and attrative, but no. I don't like him like that."

Before Calum could respond, the waiter came back and took our orders. We gave him our orders and then as he got everything, he retreated back to the restaurant.

"Speaking of..." Calum started, gaining my attention, then he continued, "have you had an eye for someone already?"

"What?" I asked him with furrowed eyebrows.

"You know a crush on someone or something like that." He said with a shrug.

My gaze fell down on the table as I mumbled, "No."

"Holy fuck, you do!" Calum exclaimed, making me look up at him with wide eyes.

"I don't!" I protested.

"You just made your lying face." Calum pointed out.

What the fuck? Stupid face. I could get away with lying about everything else and not with a simple "no, I don't have a crush". Ugh! I fucking hate my face right now for giving out.

Well...in my face defense, it didn't see the question coming, so...

"So there is someone you have been crushing on?" Calum asked again, leaning over the table with a smirk on his face.

I just stared at him.

"Who is it?" He asked.

"I don't know." I said.

"What do you mean 'I don't know'?"

"I don't know who he is. I don't know his name." I told him. Well, I lied to him. But better make up another lie than to tell him the truth. I mean, it's NEVER right to lie but I really can't tell Calum the truth. It would lead to me telling everything and then get asked with questions and probably having Calum mad at me, oh goddammit! How did everything get so complicated?

"Fine, you won't tell me who he is." Calum pouted.

"Quit it. I really don't know who he is. He's just this hot guy in one of my classes who also occasionally drops by at the café."

The waiter then came back with our food and I was so glad for his perfect timing.

Luckily, I managed to change the topic by asking something random when the waiter left. Calum got distracted and out lunch went great without him bugging me about my crush.

After our lunch, Calum took me back to the apartment and then he soon left to go back home but unfortunately without failing to remind me that we are gonna talk more about my crush when he comes back.

Great. Sarcasm fully intended.

---

I checked the clock hanging on my wall. It says 01:23AM. I couldn't sleep. Being alone in the apartment kind of sucks. It's so quiet and the place seems to get bigger.

I never actually am bothered of being alone...it's just that, when I am alone, I always end up thinking about stuff - and it's not always a good thing. Especially when you try to avoid thinking about something or rather someone for that matter: someone in particular.

I know I have thought about avoiding Ashton just so I can get rid of my feelings for him but the circumstances happening around me doesn't seem to let me avoid him. It seems like the universe is conspiring against me - pushing me right into him.

What the fuck am I going to do? Why am I even in this situation in the first place? What have I done to deserve this?

I let out a deep breath and decided to go to sleep. I should be sleeping anyway, it's pretty late.

I was about to turn my lights off when my phone suddenly rang. I right then picked it up from my nightstand, wondering who it could be.

I looked at the caller ID and was surprised and at the same time confused and frustrated when I saw Ashton's name.

I contemplated whether to answer the call or not. I was gonna reject the call but what if it's an emergency? I mean, it's 1AM and he's calling me. That doesn't seem normal. He may have been calling me lately but it was not during inappropriate hours. I mean, he doesn't really like to uh...disturb me or something like that.

I looked at my ringing phone then let out a deep breath and muttered as I went to answer the call, "Fuck it."

"Hello? Is this Luke?" an unfamiliar voice of a man sounded from the other end of the call as soon as I answered the call. I was confused as to why is it another man calling me using Ashton's phone. I am pretty sure it is Ashton's number. I gave it a second look just to be sure. Ashton's name is plastered on the screen of my phone.

"Yeah, it's Luke...but, who is this? I believe this is my friend's phone number."

"Yes, yes, this is Ashton's phone. I'm John. I'm a friend of Ashton's too. I'm a bartender at Black Horse Bar. Well uh...there is a bit of situation here regarding Ashton."

Upon hearing John's words, panic quickly rose up in my system. I shot up from my bed and rapidly asked, "Oh my God, is he ok? Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah...he's fine, but he's had way too much to drink that I can't let him drive home. I was just wondering or hoping that maybe you could get him here and drive him home? I know it's pretty la-"

"It's ok. I'll be there," I said cutting John off. "We live in the same building and I think I know where the bar is."

"Okay, that's great."

"I'll be there in ten."

"Okay."

As soon as we hung up, I quickly jump out of bed, threw on a pair of jeans, put on my shoes, and then grabbed my jacket, keys, wallet, and phone. Without looking back, I rushed out of the apartment.

I was lucky enough to find a cab and be on my way immediately to the Black Horse Bar.

As soon as I got there, I rushed inside the bar and frantically looked around for Ashton. I know he might just probably be fine and just drunk, but I really couldn't help myself to worry. Being drunk can be very dangerous too, you know.

After of what seemed like forever but it just probably have been a couple of minutes of looking around, I spotted him by the bar counter, his head on his arms which are on the counter. His hair was again in a bun and he's wearing a leather jacket.

I didn't waste time and rushed over to him.

"Ash...?" I said as my hand landed on his back and I leaned over to see his face. He was sleeping and didn't respond so I lightly shook him, "Ash? Wake up"

He groaned and slowly moved. His eyes opened slowly and as soon as he locked eyes with me, he raised his head up, looked up at me and smiled.

"Hi...you're here," he said, smile still etched on his face, dimples on full display.

But before I could say something to Ashton, I heard someone call, "Hey!"

I looked up and saw a man with a white small towel on his shoulder walking over from behind the counter. He was smiling wide. He was a bit old, but not really. Maybe around late 40's. He's quite fit for his age though, and he got this happy vibe around him.

"You must be Luke?" he asked, still smiling.

"Yeah, that's me," I said as I straightened up and smiled at him.

He extended a hand, "I'm John. We spoke on the phone."

I shook hands with him, "Yeah, I figured."

"Well, I was actually gonna call Mike," he said as our hands dropped. Then he continued, "But Ashton here specifically requested to call you."

I was surprised to hear what John just told me. I looked down at Ashton who had gone back to sleeping. He requested to call me and not Michael who is his best friend and roommate. Why would he do that?

"Here," John said, gaining back my attention. I looked up at him and he placed a phone and keys on the counter.

"Ashton's?" I asked him.

"Yeah...I had to confiscate those, especially the keys. You know how stubborn Ashton can get."

I chuckled, "Yeah, a quite stubborn one, he is."

John smiled, "Go on, Luke, take him home."

I nodded, "Thanks, John."

"No problem, Luke. Ashton's like a son to me. Him and Michael."

I smiled at John.

"Well, I got some people to attend to. Will you be fine with him?" John asked.

"Yeah, I got this. I think I can handle him. Thanks again, John."

John smiled then left to attend to some customers.

I looked down on Ashton and I just couldn't help my fond. I can only see his side profile but he's still beautiful. He's drunk and he's sleeping on a bar counter and yet he still looks so beautiful. How the fuck does he manage that?

I smiled fondly though he couldn't see that. Well, that is kind of an advantage at this moment in which also, I shouldn't be doing so I shook my head and decided to wake him up again by slowly shaking him, "Ashton?"

He just mumbled something incoherent but didn't wake up so I leaned over to him again and gently shook him as I said, "Ash? Come on now, you have to wake up. We need to go home."

I saw him smile, dimples popping out, but he didn't open his eyes.

"Come on, Ash."

"I like that." He mumbled but this time I heard him.

"You like what?" I asked, wondering.

"I like it when you call me 'Ash'." He said as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Oh..." was all I could say.

"Can you just call me 'Ash' from now on?"

"Okay, Ash, I will."

He hummed then gave me that goofy grin that he seemed to do a lot now on his drunken state.

I smiled back at him. "Can you stand up? We have to go home now and you know I couldn't carry you. I might be taller but I'm never stronger than you."

Ashton chuckled then sat up and tried to stand. Unfortunately, he was too drunk to stand and he almost fell but I was quick enough to catch him. I supported him to be on his feet and wrapped an arm around his waist as my other hand held onto the arm he had around my shoulder.

"Can you walk?" I asked.

Ashton nodded.

"Okay. We're gonna go now."

He nodded again.

I quickly grabbed Ashton's phone and keys from the bar counter, pushed them into my pocket, and then helped Ashton out of the bar. He still can't walk straight so I have to support him all the way to where he parked his car on the parking lot.

Once we got there, I pulled out his keys from my pocket and unlocked his car. I opened the door on the passenger's side and had Ashton be seated inside. Once I got him properly seated, I took the seatbelt and strapped him in. I was about to move out when he stopped me and took hold of my arm. I turned to look at him, our faces only inches apart.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?" I whispered back.

"For coming," he said with a dimply smile.

I returned the gesture but before I could say anything, he leaned forward and closed the gap between us, connecting our lips in a soft, gentle kiss.

I was caught off guard and froze. Before I could comprehend everything, he pulled away and gave me a smile. He then pecked my lips and said, staring into my eyes, "You are beautiful, Luke Hemmings."

I couldn't say anything because I didn't know what to say.

He leaned back on his seat and closed his eyes. I quickly moved out of the car and closed the door. I let out a breath and closed my eyes.

Why is he doing this? It's so unfair. He can't keep doing this to me. I shouldn't let him do this. But...how am I supposed to do that when every time I am around him, I grow weak. When it comes to him, I just can't say 'no'.

I opened my eyes and let out another breath before walking around to the driver's side. I slipped into the driver's seat and looked at Ashton. He's already sleeping. He probably had a lot to drink.

I reached my hand over to him and gently traced his face with fingertips. He's just so beautiful.

"You're the one who's beautiful, Ashton Irwin. Not me." I whispered.

I stared at him for a moment then I leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his lips. I hovered over him for a moment to study his sleeping features closely. I took in how beautiful he is. I might not be able to do it again.

I settled back into my seat and sighed as I turned to look at him again. I smiled sadly, he probably won't remember anything tomorrow.

I turned away from him and started the car. I quickly pulled out of the parking lot and drove back to the apartment.

It was a quick drive since it is already almost 3AM. As soon as we arrived, I helped Ashton out of the car. I managed to wake him up and had him walk to the elevator with me supporting him.

As we got to our floor, I gently nudged him and asked, "Where are your apartment keys?"

"I don't know," he mumbled.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I said in surprise, making us both stop in the middle of the hallway

"I don't know where they are," he mumbled.

"Is Michael home?"

"Partying."

"Fuck." I muttered.

Ashton chuckled, "You swore."

I couldn't help but smile at that then I looked at him and said, "Guess you'll be crashing in my apartment tonight."

Ashton just gave me a goofy grin.

"You're heavy, you know that?" I told him as we continued walking towards my apartment.

"I can walk properly." He said.

I rolled my eyes, " I bet I'd be picking you up from the floor the second after I let you go."

"Then don't let me go," he smiled.

I looked at him then quickly looked away without responding and led him towards the door of my apartment.

I pulled out my keys from my pocket and opened the door. We both stepped inside and I kicked the door close.

I was gonna let Ashton stay on the couch but I remembered that he let me stay in his room before when he rescued me from Andrew and we weren't even like how we are now at that time. So I decided to just let him sleep in my room and I could just stay at Calum's.

I gently let go of him and let him lay down on the bed. He's still awake but too drunk to move.

"Is this your room?" He asked as he let his gaze wander around my room.

I started to take off his shoes and said, "Yeah. I'm sorry it's a bit messy." I placed his shoes by the foot of the bed and stood back up and looked down on him.

"I like your room," he commented.

I smiled down at him, "Well, I'm gonna get you some water."

He nodded and I walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen. I removed my jacket and placed it on the counter. I let out a sigh and glanced back into the hallway as I leaned against the counter.

Ashton is in my room and drunk, and I don't know what to do. Let's not forget that he kissed me in the car and then he called me "beautiful." And, oh! Telling John to call me instead of his best friend and roommate, Michael. Who fucking does that? What does he want from me? Why is he doing this? Have I put my self in some deep shit now? Then what have I put myself into? And, what have I done for me to be punished like this?

I really don't understand why am I put in this kind of situation. Why on earth did I ever get involved with Ashton? I mean, we're not friends but our paths always cross and stuff that even if I am trying to avoid him, something will always happen that I would end up face to face with him and well, like right now, I am here in my apartment with a drunk him. And of all the people on this planet, why is it him that I ended up having a crush on? Do the gods and deities think this is funny? Because I certainly do not. This is fucking torture for me!

I let out another sigh to calm my thoughts and made myself push away all the worries from my mind, and just thought of what I should do now which is to take care of him because, yes, despite all of the protests I have in my mind, I am that such a weakling when it comes to Ashton that even if he is emotionally torturing me like this, I would still willingly take care of him and then, self-pity after. Fuck!

I just took a glass from the cupboard and filled it water and headed back to my room.

I stopped in my tracks with my eyes wide when I saw Ashton lying on my bed, now with only his boxers on. His jeans and t-shirt were folded and placed on the top of his shoes. He was laying on his stomach with his head turned away from me but I think he's already back to sleep. He had taken off his hair tie and his honey-blonde locks are all spread on the pillow.

I walked over to the bed and placed the water on the nightstand. I couldn't help but stare at his bareback. He's so muscular and just so hot. It was really hard to keep control and keep my hands to myself. I had to push myself to turn away from him. I opened the first drawer of my nightstand and pulled out the bottle of aspirin and put it next to the glass of water.

Without giving another look at Ashton, I turned on my heel and was gonna leave the room to head to Calum's and sleep there, but I was stopped by a hand grabbing mine.

I quickly turned back to him. He's already laying on his side. I looked at him, raising a questioning eyebrow, and said, "Do you need anything else?"

"Yes," he answered, voice almost muffled by the pillow.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I want you to stay here with me."

What?

"What?" I said, voicing out my thoughts.

"Please?" He pleaded.

"But, Ashton..."

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and then pouted. Like, seriously he fucking pouted. How am I supposed to say 'no' to that? Goddammit!

"You really had to do that?"

"Is it working?" He asked with a smile.

I rolled my eyes, "Move over."

Ashton grinned and moved over to give me space on the bed. I stepped out of my jeans and tossed it on the chair by my desk. I really don't like sleeping with skinny jeans on. I got on the bed and laid down next to Ashton. I turned my head to look at him and he still has that goofy grin on his face.

"What are you grinning about?" I asked him.

He didn't say anything and just looked at me still grinning. Then he moved closer to me and pressed his lips on my shoulder before he nuzzled his face on it and murmured, "Goodnight, Luke."

I huffed then whispered, "Goodnight, Ash."

I then turned my gaze away from him and looked up at the ceiling as I listened to his breathing gets slow and calm. He must have drifted to sleep. Well he's drunk so...

Now, I am back to being alone with my thoughts. Back to the thoughts I was having in the kitchen.

Here I am, trying to avoid Ashton from the past few days but somehow ended up picking him up from a bar, then being kissed by him, and now being here on the same bed with him. It's really difficult to be this close to him when I'm trying to keep myself from falling deeper and deeper for him.

Everything he does makes me feel a lot more for him. Especially when he treats me differently. I mean, I'm not trying to sound like some kind of a self-centered asshole or whatever, but I'm not blind. I can see that he treats me nicely compared to others, even if he's sometimes a bossy asshole to me. But I know his actions doesn't mean anything to him, I just let them affect me differently.

His drunk state tonight makes it worse though. He's less grumpy, less intimidating, a little goofy and maybe a bit...I don't know...affectionate, maybe? And yeah, he even told John to call me instead of Michael. Why?

Ugh! I know all of these are just a result of the alcohol in his system. Tomorrow, when he's sober, everything that happened now will be forgotten. Only, unfortunately, by just him...

---

I tried to move around on my bed only to feel another body next to me. I quickly opened my eyes and saw Ashton still sound asleep. Everything that happened last night came back to me and let out a sad sigh.

I looked down and saw his arm wrapped around my waist. I glanced at his peacefully sleeping face then down to his arm and decided that it'd be better if I would just get up now and be not there when he wakes up. He probably won't remember anything that happened last night so it'd be safe if he won't wake up with me next to him and on my bed.

I slowly moved a bit to try to get out from his hold without waking him up but when I try to do so, his arm tightened around me. I looked at him to see if he's already awake but no, he's still sound asleep. I decided to try again but more carefully this time. But before I was able to make a move, I heard Ashton softy say, "Don't."

I quickly looked at his face again to see if I actually heard him say it and if he's awake, but his eyes are still closed. I guess I was just hallucinating or something. But then I was quickly proven wrong when he said with eyes still closed, "Don't get up yet."

"W-why?" I quietly asked.

"Because if you get up then I would have to wake up and I'm not ready to wake up yet," he explained in a groggy, raspy morning voice, which sounded so hot, and no, I shouldn't be thinking about that.

"You don't have to wake up when I get up," I told him.

"I know but you won't be here anymore and I want you here."

What the fuck? Is he still drunk? Why is he saying these things? And why do I let these affect me so much? Ugh!

"Ashton?" I softly said.

"Hmm?" He hummed in response.

I took a deep breath. I have to put a stop to this.I should not let this go any further to the point that I would end up hurting so much.

"You can't do this," I whispered, my gaze fixed to the ceiling, eyes brimmed with tears.

I felt Ashton move beside me but I kept my teary gaze up on the ceiling. I felt him remove his hand from my waist.

"Luke..." he quietly said and his voice is filled with worry. I soon then felt his hand on my cheek, and gently made me turn to look at him. A tear then slipped down from my eyes. Ashton's gaze quickly softened as he wiped my tear.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"You can't keep doing this Ashton," I told him.

"Do what, Luke?"

"This. Being like this to me. Being nice and all. It makes me feel a lot of things for you. Feelings that I know I shouldn't have. It's not your fault. It's all mine that's why I can't let you do this anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I sobbed as I stared up at him.

Ashton didn't say anything and just stared down at me. His face held this expression that I couldn't quite read. But his eyes, they were not as cold as they usually are. They were still holding this soft gaze and I really don't know how to interpret those gazes.

I decided to look away because the longer I look at those hazel-green orbs, the harder I fall.

But then I felt Ashton's hand hold my chin and steered my face up to look back at him. As I did so, he leaned forward and caught my lips in a soft, gentle kiss which I didn't have the time to avoid.

He started to slowly moved his lips against mine and just the mere touch of his lips on mine already feels so good and I couldn't help myself but respond to the kiss.

As soon as he pulled away, he stared straight into my eyes. I stared back at him for a moment then slowly shook my head and said, "I am always so weak when it comes to you. I really shouldn't let you do this."

"Why?" he softly asked.

"Because, Ashton, if I would, I'd lose all self-control and I won't be able to stop myself from falling for you." I told him, not even caring anymore if I am embarrassing myself for being so open to him about my feelings for him.

"Then don't." He said, eyes all soft and showing affection in which I don't know if it's real or just an act.

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you," he whispered, his hand on my cheek, thumb gently caressing the skin on my cheekbone.

"You can't play with my feelings, Ashton."

"I'm not playing, Luke." He said. He then closed his eyes for a moment and let out a sigh. As he opened his eyes and looked straight into mine, they seem to be more colorful and they weren't how they usually are. It was the first time I have ever seen then like that. He then said, "You have no fucking idea what you do to me, Luke. You have consumed everything in me. You're always in my mind and I just feel so protective of you and I just want to be always around you all the damn time. I don't care if I would sound selfish, or possessive, or obsessed, but I just...I want you all mine."

I stared up at him with my mouth agape because I couldn't believe what I just heard him say.

"I want you mine, Luke," he softly said as he still stared into my eyes.

"Kiss me," I whispered, not being able to know what else to say. And yeah, I really do want him to kiss me right now. I want to feel his lips on mine.

Ashton didn't waste any time and he immediately closed the gap between us and granted my request. He pulled me closer to him. But this time, it wasn't a soft kiss. He kissed me harder and full of want yet still gentle. I kissed him back as hard as he did. Our lips moved against each other as if we both are hungry for each other.

Ashton sucked on my bottom lip as I tangled my hands through his curls, tugging a bit. I soon then felt him lick my bottom lip and by instinct I opened my mouth. Ashton didn't waste any time and slipped his tongue inside my mouth, quickly finding mine.

Tongues wrestled, earning moans from each other. We pulled each other impossibly closer as we roamed each other's mouths not wanting to miss any part of it. But we soon have to pull away to catch our breaths. A string of saliva was stretched out as our lips parted from each other.

We both laughed then smiled and stared at each other as I combed my hand through Ashton's curls.

"So what now?" I softly asked Ashton.

"You don't avoid me," he softly said, making me still my movements and look at him wide-eyed.

Ashton smiled, "I know you were avoiding me and it kinda drove me insane, you know. But now I understood why and I'm sorry if I kinda gave you a difficult time because I was an asshole for not being clear about my intentions to you."

I smile up at him, "You didn't have to apologize. You also didn't know I was having a crisis."

Ashton chuckled then pecked my lips.

"I like it when you kiss me," I told him.

"I like it when I kiss you, especially with that lip ring of yours."

I felt my cheeks burn and I quickly hid my face in the pillows in embarrassment.

Ashton chuckled, "Don't hide. You're cute."

"Shut up, you're making it worse."

"Well, I like seeing you blush."

"Shush, Ashton!"

Ashton just laughed. I looked up and glared at him.

He stopped laughing but still held an amused look on his face. He then caressed my cheek with his hand and sweetly smiled as he said, "So...are you all mine now?"

I looked back into his beautiful eyes. I never had any idea that everything would end up how it did today. I didn't expect him to say everything that he said to me. I never ever thought that he would ever want me. So I smiled up at him and nodded my head as I said, "I'm all yours."

---