8

~Luke~

---

I moved around my bed and slowly opened my eyes. I adjusted my sight into the light and looked around my surrounding. I am in my room and on my bed. But, the space on the bed next to me is already empty. I sat up and looked around my room and found Ashton's shoes and t-shirt still by the foot of the bed. His jacket is also still here draped over a random chair in my room.

Ashton is still here.

We kind of went back to sleep after we woke up and talked earlier of the day. Well of course after a few more kisses and cuddling.

Yeah. That. Wow. I just can't fucking believe it. I mean, Ashton and I? That's just wow! I still really can't wrap my head around everything yet. I mean, never have I thought this would happen. That Ashton Irwin would want me the same way that I want him. It feels like I hit the jackpot, you know? He's my ultimate crush.

I just couldn't help the wide smile from erupting into my face. I'm just so happy. Just thinking back into hours ago when we had our talk and those kisses and yes, I am just so so happy. If this is just a dream, I really wouldn't want to wake up.

But my moment was then cut off when I heard some noises coming from outside of my room. I furrowed my eyebrows and sat up from the bed. I heard another noise and some muttering so I got out of bed, tugged on a pair of jeans, and headed out of my room.

I figured the noise was coming from the kitchen and I headed straight there and found a shirtless Ashton by the stove and...cooking?

"What are you doing?" I asked as I approached the kitchen counter.

He turned then smiled as he saw me, making his adorable dimples come out.

"Hey...I hope you don't mind that I kind of allowed myself to use your kitchen." He said to me.

"No, I don't mind. But what is that?"

"Oh, thought I'd make you something to eat. It's kind of late for some pancakes and bacon so I just thought I'd make some spaghetti."

"Ooohhh...I love spaghetti." I grinned.

Ashton chuckled then turned back to the stove making his bareback face me. Damn. He's just so muscular. He is just so hot. The way his muscles flexes with every little move he does. I wanna run my hands on his shoulder blades and leave kisses by his shoulder and - oh my god! What am I thinking?

I felt myself blush and I was glad Ashton wasn't looking at me. I had myself seated on the barstool by the counter and just watched Ashton make his way around my kitchen.

I didn't notice myself smiling fondly at him until he turned back around to me and raised an eyebrow with a smile playing on his lips and said, "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Oh...well, I'm just enjoying my view," I replied with an innocent smile and a shrug.

Ashton chuckled then leaned over the counter and gave me a peck on the lips.

I was caught off guard. I froze on my seat and stared at Ashton. He smiled sweetly at me and said, "Are you ok?"

I pull myself out of my stunned state and gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry. It's just that...I was not expecting that." I told him and then felt my blood rush up to my cheeks and I looked down to hide my face.

I heard him chuckle then said, "You are so cute when you blush."

I looked up then gave him a playful glare. He smiled at me and then said, "You really shouldn't hide from me when you blush."

"Shut up, Ashton."

He just chuckled then gave me another peck on the lips before he turned back into his cooking.

Oh god, I really should start getting used to me and Ashton sharing kisses. I mean it is gonna happen more often now that we are...wait...what even are we? Well I know we have established between each us that we want each other but are we now boyfriends? Guess I should ask him about that later. I don't want to assume things.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, pulling me out of my thoughts and making Ashton quickly turn back to me and raising a questioning eyebrow. I gave him a confused look in return.

Another knock then came.

"I thought Calum went home?" Ashton asked, now also confused.

"Yeah, he did and he won't be coming back now. And he wouldn't knock in his own apartment." I told Ashton.

"Well, are you expecting anyone?"

"I won't be reacting like this and be as confused as you are if I am expecting someone."

Before Ashton could answer me, another knock was heard.

"You stay here and finish cooking, I'll go check who it is," I told Ashton then stood up and headed to the door.

When I opened the door, Michael then came into view, fist raised up in an attempt to make another knock on my door. Upon seeing me, he quickly put his fist down and smiled sheepishly.

"Michael? Can I help you?" I asked him.

"Uh...well, I'm sorry to disturb you, Luke, and I'm not even sure this is the right place but is Ashton here? Or maybe have seen him today? Or last night? He hasn't come home and didn-," but before Michael could finish, the door opened wider and Ashton revealed himself to Michael, making the red-haired guy widen his eyes in surprise.

"Ash? You're here?" Michael said but more of a question in surprise.

"You come here looking for me and when you find me here you'd be fucking surprised," Ashton stated.

Michael recovered from his surprised state and rolled his eyes and said, "I wasn't really expecting to find you here."

"Then why come here?" Ashton shot back.

"Just taking my chances. Well, I've seen you two hang out before so it could be possible that you'd be here."

This time Ashton was the one to roll his eyes and then said, "What do you want?"

"Well hell, Ashton, you didn't come home last night and didn't even text or call where you've gone. I was worried that you-," Michael said cutting himself then glanced at me then back to Ashton who was giving him a cold, hard look. Michael then let out a sigh then said, "I was just worried."

I looked at Michael who avoided eye contact with me and I am pretty sure that there is something going on here that I know nothing about and they don't want me to know, since Michael immediately cut himself off. I mean, I'm not stupid. I can see that. With those exchanges of knowing looks between them, they are definitely hiding something.

Well I know it's none of my business, but sometimes my curiosity gets the best out of me and I can't help myself to be so curious about it especially that it is about Ashton. I am determined to find out what it is as I am determined to know everything about Ashton. He's just a big world of mystery to me, and I really want to actually know him, especially with our current situation.

I heard Ashton scoff and so I looked at him and he said to Michael, "Now, you found me and I'm fine. You can leave."

"Ashton," I said sternly. I just didn't like the way he talked to Michael. I mean, the guy was worried about him so it's not really nice of him to talk to him like that.

Ashton looked at me and I raised an eyebrow at him. He huffed then turned back to Michael and said, "Ok, I'm sorry."

Michael was surprised by the sudden change in Ashton's mood and tone of speaking. He glanced at me with a raised eyebrow then back to Ashton. Well, to be honest, I was also surprised myself that Ashton complied with me.

"Uh...Michael, Ash made some spaghetti, and we're actually about to eat, would you like to join us?" I asked Michael, trying to change the topic and get rid of the unexplainable tension around us.

Michael's face quickly lit up and he looked at Ashton with a hopeful look. Ashton rolled his eyes then said, "Come on in, Mike. I know you never say 'no' to any food invitation."

Michael grinned and happily entered the apartment like a child as both Ashton and I stepped back to give him way. I swear to god, Michael is a small kid trapped in a big man's body.

I led him into the kitchen as Ashton closed the door behind us. Michael settled himself on one of the barstools by the kitchen counter.

I went to get some plates for us as Ashton served the spaghetti and placed it on the counter. Clearly, we'll not be using the table now. Michael is already so excited to eat. I chuckled at the sight as I made my way and sat down to the barstool next to Michael's, making both boys look at me.

"Michael is like an excited child," I commented with an amused expression.

"He is a child," Ashton spoke.

Michael rolled his eyes at Ashton then turned to me and smiled, "It's Ashton's spaghetti so I am super duper excited."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and said, "What's with Ashton's spaghetti?"

"Not his spaghetti, specifically, but, man, his cooking is the best and I have been begging him for weeks to cook but unfortunately, he's a moody motherfucker." Michael told me.

"Wow. Like I am not standing here," Ashton grumbled.

"Don't care," Michael told him and then turned back to me and said, "Well actually he's just second best. Harry will always be the very best when it comes to cooking."

"You always kiss Harry's ass," Ashton said as he also settled himself on a barstool next to me.

Michael laughed then said, "You know if I'd do that literally, Louis would probably kill me."

I chuckled then said without thinking, "He probably would." But right after I said that I realized what I did and slowly looked at Michael who was staring at me with a raised and questioning eyebrow.

I gave him an innocent smile and he asked, "You know Harry and Louis?"

I can feel Ashton's eyes on me but I did not dare look at him and instead reached for the bowl of spaghetti and placed some on my plate as I said, "Yeah. Met them once."

There's no point in denying it now, right? Since I messed up. So I just gotta have to tell the truth and maybe just leave out and improvise some parts of it.

"Really? When?" Michael said as he took the bowl of spaghetti from me as I handed it to him and began placing some on his plate. Well not some but a lot, actually.

"Uh...couple weeks ago?"

"How did you meet?" Michael asked as he handed back the bowl of spaghetti to me and I took it then I turned to Ashton and placed some on his plate. He raised an eyebrow at me but held a really amused look on his face. I don't know if because I was serving him food or because he is just enjoying watching me mess up and trying to fix it. I could really use a little help from him you know since we are talking about his brother.

"Well, we kind of all ended up in the same place."

"Elaborate."

"I was at the supermarket, and I bumped into Ashton, and it so happened that Harry and Louis were also there and we all ended up having dinner, and yeah, that was how I met them," I told Michael with a little, just a very little bit of lying. I hope he won't push into the topic anymore.

"Really? So why did-"

Before Michael could finish his question, Ashton interrupted him and said, "Aren't you hungry, Michael? Why don't you start eating and stop interrogating Luke?"

I mentally sighed in relief and thanked Ashton for that save, though he's kinda rude, but still.

Michael looked at Ashton then rolled his eyes and said, "I was just surprised that Luke knew Harry and Louis. I mean they don't even live around here. They're like 2 hours away. I didn't even know they were in town."

"They just met up with their wedding florist and stopped by a supermarket at that time that Luke and I were there. Now that you know, shut up and eat."

"Whatever. I'm really gonna eat anyway." Michael grumbled and started stuffing his face with the spaghetti. "Damn. This is so good."

I chuckled at the sight then turned to Ashton who was already looking at me with soft eyes. I gave him a small yet sweet smile and turned to my food and started eating. And damn...this spaghetti is really fucking amazing.

---

"So how did you end up here?" Michael asked Ashton as he was helping me clean up. I didn't want him to, really, because he's a guest but he insisted and also pouted to let him help me. And who could say 'no' to that whole soft, pouty, kitten look?

Ashton on the other hand also wanted to be the one to clean up but I told him no because he was already the one who cooked. I made him stay seated by the counter which he reluctantly complied.

"Why do you ask?" Ashton responded a bit rudely.

Michael rolled his eyes then said, "You know what, I'll just talk to Luke instead because he's not an asshole like you."

Ashton gave him a careless shrug making Michael flip him off. This time I was the one to roll my eyes at them.

"So how did he end up here, Luke?" Michael then asked me instead as he was wiping the dishes dry.

I looked at Ashton who was just giving me this amused expression. I subtly glared at him because of how he leaves me alone in this and how he enjoys the whole thing.

"Well...I was about to go to bed but then I heard some swearing from outside so I went to check it out and saw Ashton in the hallway, pulling out his pockets and cussing his keys out. So I approached him and he was drunk off his ass and couldn't find his keys so I just offered him to crash in here since Calum's not around." I told Michael, lying. Put emphasis on that. Crap. I am definitely going to hell for lying too much today.

"He left his keys in his room," Michael informed me.

I raised an eyebrow at Ashton and he just shrugged.

Michael now looked at Ashton, raised an eyebrow, then said, "Why didn't you just knock? You knew I was home last night."

This time it was me who looked at Ashton with a raised eyebrow. He obviously avoided my gaze. I guess there will a lot of things we need to talk about later.

"I was drunk and I forgot," Ashton told Michael still not looking at me.

Michael nodded then turned to me and said, "I'm sorry for any disturbance my asshole friend did to you last night, and probably this morning too."

I chuckled and this time Ashton looked at me and we both gave each other a subtle smirk then I said, "Oh no, don't worry about it. He didn't disturb me at all and him crashing here all turned out good."

"Good?" Michael asked, confused.

Ashton raised an eyebrow at me.

I smiled then said, "Yeah, he made spaghetti."

Michael laughed, "True."

Ashton and I threw each other a smile. Then I noticed Michael looking at Ashton. He's a bit surprised but tried to hide it. I didn't know why he got a reaction like that. I decided to just ignore it and put the dried plates back to their proper places.

"So, I should go," Michael said, "I still have to be somewhere later today. Ashton, you should leave too and go back to your own apartment."

"Yeah, yeah. Let me just grab my stuff," Ashton said as he stood up.

"Let me help you. You probably don't remember where you put all of your stuff." I told Ashton as I went with towards my room.

But before we could even hit the hallway, Michael said, "You slept in Luke's room?"

"Yeah, and he slept in Calum's. So?" Ashton retorted.

"You are such a pain in the ass. I am so embarrassed for you." Michael told him.

Ashton flipped him off and I laughed at the two as I gently pushed Ashton to continue walking down the hallway to my room.

As soon as we were inside my room, I was immediately yet gently pulled by Ashton and had my lips captured in a soft gentle kiss. I smiled into the kiss as I wrapped my arms around Ashton's neck while his arms snaked around my waist. Ashton sucked on my bottom lip but I then pulled away and looked at Ashton in the eyes, a smile still etched on my face.

Ashton pecked my lips a few times then looked at me with a small smile playing on his lips and then said, "I'll come over later, ok?"

"Oh you should because we are gonna talk," I told him.

He furrowed his eyebrows and asked, "Talk about what?"

"You'll know."

"Am I in trouble already?"

"Depends on how the talk would go actually," I said giving him an innocent smile.

He stared at me for a moment then smiled and said, "Fine. But right now I should go."

"Yeah, you should because Michael is waiting," I said as we let go of each other. I went to get his jacket as he also got dressed with his t-shirt from last night.

"Here," I said as I handed him his jacket. He gave me a smile as he took it then went to pick up his shoes but didn't bother putting them on.

"Have you seen my phone?" Ashton asked as he looked around.

"Uh..." I said as I tried to remember where I put it and my eyes widened as I remembered it being still in my jacket pocket. Where is my jacket again?

Oh yeah, it's in the kitchen. I remembered I put it on the counter and I think I still saw it there.

"It's in my jacket pocket in the kitchen with your car keys," I told Ashton and he nodded.

He gave me another peck on the lips and then smiled before he walked out of my room with his shoes and jacket in his hands. I followed him back to the kitchen where Michael was waiting. I saw my jacket still on the counter but it was Ashton who went to it and pulled his phone and car keys out from its pocket. I noticed Michael watching Ashton with this look on his face that I can't quite interpret. He didn't say anything though and just followed Ashton as he walked towards the door.

"We're gonna go now. Thanks for last night." Ashton said as he opened the door. His expression and the tone of his voice is back to usual: emotionless. But his eyes are not that emotionless anymore.

I nodded and smiled.

"See you later, Luke. Thanks for letting Ash crash here and for sharing his spaghetti with me." Michael beamed and I laughed.

Ashton stepped out first and Michael followed, waving me goodbye. I closed the door behind them and then turned back to head to my room.

As I stepped inside, I noticed my phone buzzed on the nightstand. I went to grab it as I sat down on my bed. I opened it up and saw a text from Ashton. I furrowed my eyebrows together. Why would he text me? He just left. Wondering, I opened the text and read it.

Ashton: Thanks really for last night, Luke. And especially for this morning. It was great.

I smiled at the text then typed in my reply.

Me: No worries, Ash. ?

Ashton: Well, see you later.

Me: Ok. Can't actually wait to have our talk.

Ashton: Why do I get the feeling that I am in deep shit?

Me: I don't really know. Why don't you ask yourself?

Ashton: Rude.

Me: Says the "asshole".

Ashton: Hahaha. Very funny, Hemmings.

Me: Thank you very much, Irwin. I try.

Ashton: Ok, I should go before you kill me with all that sass.

Me: You have left, haven't you?

Ashton: See you later, Hemmings!

I laughed at the last text Ashton sent me but didn't bother to reply.

Hmm...I think I can get used to this: being like this with Ashton. It's actually kinda nice, you know. Since this morning he was consciously showing this one another side of him. The soft, playful one. I like it, really. And the thought that he is showing it to me, makes some tingling in my stomach.

Guess this situation with him could actually be my chance to get to know him. I really, really like him so I really wanna know him. I really want to know the real Ashton Irwin.

---

I just stepped inside my room fresh from the shower when I heard my phone ringing from the nightstand. I went over to it and saw Ashton's name flashed on the screen. I got confused about why he was calling when he will be coming over in maybe half an hour just like what we agreed. Is he changing his mind?

I answered the call and put the phone against my ear as I said, "Ash? Why are you calling?"

"Luke, hey...what are you doing?" He said basically ignoring what I just asked.

"Just got out of the shower and was gonna go change but then you were calling and I wonder why..."

Ashton chuckled from the other end and said, "Well I was just thinking if maybe instead of me coming over, you come here in my apartment."

"Why?" I asked.

"I kind of started making dinner. For us."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so, you up for it?"

"Having dinner with you?" I asked with a smirk on my face though I know he can't see it.

"Uh...yeah, if you put it that way."

I chuckled, "Is this a date of some sort?"

"You know I can actually hear your cheeky smile."

I laughed this time and then said, "But you didn't answer my question. So is this a date or what?"

"It can be a date if you want," Ashton responded.

I laughed again, "I'll be there, Ash. Date or not."

I heard him chuckle, "You can come here now if you like. Well if you don't mind waiting while I finish cooking."

"Ok, ok. Let me just change first and I'll be there."

"Ok, Luke."

"But I won't dress up for this. I bet we're just gonna end up cuddling on the couch anyway." I said without thinking.

"Good you know what I was planning and you can add making out in that too," Ashton replied and I actually got caught off guard with it that I felt my cheeks heat up with the thought of us making out on the couch. Good thing he wasn't here 'cause he'd be teasing me about it again.

"Shut up and let me change. I'll be there in five."

Ashton chuckled, "Ok."

We both hung up after and I let out a breath as I tossed my phone on the bed. God...not even a day with being whatever this is with Ashton and I am already feeling a lot of things and Ashton himself seemed to be more surprising than he already was with all this...not changes, but new things I see about him: the way he talks and the way he acts around me.

Enough of that, I should change and head to his apartment. I stood up from my bed and headed over to my dresser and pulled out a random black t-shirt, a pair of gray sweatpants, and a pair of black socks as I am not planning to wear shoes or even slippers. I was serious about not dressing up. I mean I'm just going to the apartment across mine.

As I finished changing and not even fixing my hair just let it lay flat, I grabbed my phone and my keys and headed out of the apartment and went straight to Ashton's.

I knocked on the door and it was quickly opened by Ashton. He threw me a dimply smile and let me inside. I looked around the place. It was the first time that I was actually able to look around since the first time I was here, I just stayed in Ashton's room. The place basically looks the same as ours but except for the furniture and decors around. I noticed they have a few framed pictures placed around too. I should go and look at them later.

"I just realized, it's still my second time being here in your apartment and actually my first time to look at the place," I told Ashton as he led me to the kitchen.

"So how do you find it?" He asked as he began to continue chopping some vegetables.

I let myself sit down on one of the barstools by the kitchen counter and smiled as I said, "It's pretty much the same as ours but also different. You know what I mean?"

Ashton nodded and I smiled again then said, "I like it here."

Ashton smiled, "That's good to know."

I again gave him a smile, popping my own little dimple out.

"You're so cute, you know that?" Ashton told me.

I immediately felt my cheeks heat up so I looked down to hide it. But I soon then felt Ashton's fingers gently grab my chin, making me look up at him.

"Don't hide. I really like seeing you blush, it's really cute." He told me which just made my blushing worse, I bet I look like a tomato.

"You are not really helping, you know that?" I told him with a playful glare.

He chuckled then leaned forward and gave me a sweet peck on the lips. I smiled at that, which also made him smile.

I really like seeing Ashton smile. It makes me have some tingling feelings all over my body in a really good way which also makes me happy. His smile is so beautiful. Only he doesn't do it more often and doesn't show it to everyone. I really do feel so lucky that I get to see them.

"I really love your smile," I voiced out my thoughts accidentally which immediately made me panic inside.

Ashton looked at me and frowned which made me panic more. But then he looked down and said, voice small, "There's nothing to love about my smile."

What?

"Why would you say that?" I asked him.

"Because it's the truth," he said with a shrug as he turned away from me and put the chopped vegetables on the heated pan on the stove.

"That is definitely not true, you know. I think your smile is beautiful. It's one of my favorite things about you." I told him which he only returned with a dry chuckle.

I stood up from where I was sitting and went over to where Ashton was. He didn't actually notice me since his back was turned on me and he was focusing on his cooking so he was surprised when I made him turn to me.

"Luke, what are you doing? I might burn them," he said gesturing to the vegetables on the pan.

But I ignored what he said and cupped his face with both of my hands and I leaned down and caught his lips in a soft kiss which he immediately returned. I felt his hands land on my hips and I kissed him deeper as he did the same. It was just an innocent kiss no tongue involved but it still felt so good and right.

We soon pulled away and he gave me that smile that I love and said, "What was that for?"

I smiled softly at him and pecked his lips before I said, "That's for you just so you'd believe me that I love your smile and that it's beautiful."

"You are so cheesy, you know that?" Ashton said, still smiling.

I just gave him a smile as I traced his dimples with my fingers and pecked his lips once again.

"You know," he said as he let go of me and turned back to his cooking, "as much as I love kissing you, I have to continue cooking."

I chuckled as I made my way back to the barstool.

"But," he continued as he turned to look at me, "we can definitely get back to that later on the couch." He then gave me a wink.

My cheeks immediately heat up again. I swear to god this guy's goal in life is to always make me get flustered. Now I can't take the thought of us making out on the couch out of my head.

Ashton chuckled and I playfully glared at him. He gave me a shrug before he went back to cooking.

"Where's Michael, anyway?" I asked him, fully noticing how I don't see any traces of him around.

"He went with Alex and Jack. You remember them?" Ashton responded.

"Yeah. Where were they going?"

"Uh...I don't know really. I wasn't paying attention when Michael told me. All I know is they won't be back until tomorrow around lunchtime." Ashton said as he finished up cooking the meal.

I stood up from my seat and went around the counter as I said, "I'll set the table, where is everything?"

Ashton told where to get everything needed and I set the table. He soon then came with his cooked meal and we both sat down. He placed some on my plate and I thanked him as he sat down and served himself.

I looked at the food on my plate and I really don't know what it is but it really smelled great and I am more than sure that it would taste a lot better.

"Dig in," he said with a smile.

I was more than happy to eat though which made him chuckle.

I unconsciously moaned when I took a bite of the food. It was just so fucking good. "Wow."

"You really shouldn't be making that sound while we're here eating, you know," Ashton commented.

I looked at him with a confused expression and said, "Why? This food is really delicious."

Ashton just gave me a smirk as he continued eating and then it hit me and I felt my blood rush to my cheeks and I looked down in embarrassment and tried to continue eating, hoping Ashton didn't notice.

But I was so wrong when I heard him laugh and say, "You really are so adorable when you blush."

"Fuck you, Ashton," I grumbled trying to hide my even redder cheeks.

"Oh, careful what you say there." He said, smirking.

I looked at him with wide eyes then picked up a piece of green peas and threw it to him, making him laugh.

Seriously. Am I still talking to Ashton Irwin or someone has possessed his body?

He stopped teasing me then and we continued eating.

"This is really good, you know. Where'd you learn to cook anyway?" I asked him.

"Harry and uh...my mum," he answered but then looked down at the mention of his mum.

"Oh they must really good then because you are really good," I said with a smile.

Ashton smiled back then said, "You know I don't really know much about you. I mean you already had a glimpse of my life when meeting my brother and he had told you stuff about my family and you are even invited to their wedding...but me...I don't know anything about your family. But, you don't have to tell me if don't want to."

I chuckled then said, "No, it's fine. There's not much about my family anyway. Just that I have two big brothers: Ben and Jack. They're both in Newcastle and living together in an apartment they bought. Ben is already working and Jack is in his last year in college. My mum is a teacher and my dad is a doctor."

Ashton nodded but before he was able to say something, I beat him to it and continued, "But you see, you got it all wrong actually because you know me better than my own family does. Yeah, I've lived with them my whole life but they don't really know who I really am..."

"They're not aware of your sexuality," Ashton stated.

"Yeah, I just don't wanna tell them because I don't know how they'd react; if they're gonna accept me."

"You were just hiding all your life?" Ashton asked.

"Kind of," I shrugged, "but it's fine because I don't need everyone to know. Besides Calum knows and that was enough for me."

"Haven't you tried telling your family?"

I chuckled humorlessly, "No, because I didn't know how to. I'm afraid that they'd hate me. It's not as easy as 'hey mom and dad, ben and jack, how was your day? I hope it went great. And by the way, I'm gay. Meaning I don't like vagina and prefer dicks. So rainbows and unicorns! Yay!'"

Ashton nodded in understanding and reached out for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as he said, "I'm sorry..."

I smiled at him as I flipped my hand and held his and squeezed back as I said, "No, it's fine. And hey, I'm not really hiding anymore, am I? I mean I am not exactly out but it's not just Calum who knows I'm gay. Louis and Harry know and even Niall I think has an idea about it since he saw what happened with Andrew. And then there's you."

"What about me?" Ashton asked as he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. The small gesture made my skin tingle.

I glanced down at our hands then back to his eyes and said with a smile, "I really don't know how to put it to words but uh..." I let out a breath and continued, "I was just glad that you found out about it though it was really not my intention to make you find out. But I'm glad you did because it made me think and feel that it's ok." I chuckled then and asked, "Did I even make sense with what I was saying?"

"You certainly did. I am really glad that you feel that way now because you really do not need to hide your sexuality, Luke. It's who you are. Just take my brother for example. Out and proud."

I smiled as we pulled our hands from each other's hold and continued eating.

Then curiosity just got to me as I looked up at Ashton and watch him as he focused on his food.

"Ash?" I said, making him look at me with a raised eyebrow in a questioning manner.

I cleared my throat and asked, "If you don't mind me asking, uh...what is your sexuality?"

Ashton just gave me a shrug. I gave him a confused look, "What does that mean?"

"I don't really give a fuck about my sexuality, Luke. I don't label myself because I hate labels in general. I like who I like. I fuck who I fuck. I am what I am."

I stared at him for a moment before I nodded in understanding. But what he said about hating labels caught me. If he hates labels then he must not like labels in relationships too. So what are we really? Should I still ask him about that? It's just that if I would really be with him, I want us to be official. I don't want to be just whatever it is we are. For me, being 'official' kind of like having security. I don't want to be dropped when he doesn't want me anymore just because we were never official, though I don't really think he'd do something like that.

"You ok?" I heard him ask, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I gave him a smile as I nodded then we continued eating. But I just can't keep everything from my mind. I had to talk to him about it. But how? I can't ruin and end anything already that hasn't even really started yet. What the fuck am I gonna do now?

---

"You staying over?" Ashton asked as we finished cleaning up around the dining table and the kitchen. Well, after a bit of insisting of course since he won't let me help clean up but eventually gave when I told him I won't make out with him if he won't let me help. I didn't think it would work but it did, so...and this kind of helped me push aside some thoughts anyway.

"You want me to stay over?" I asked him back, raising an eyebrow.

"If you want. I mean, I'm alone anyway. Michael won't be back until tomorrow at lunchtime. But if you don't want to, it's fine." He told me with a small smile.

"Well, why don't you give me one good reason to stay the night," I told him with a playful smirk.

He chuckled then moved closer to me, a mischievous smirk plastered on his face as we both looked at each other in the eyes. I stepped back as he moved closer and closer until I hit my back on the counter, having me trapped between the kitchen counter and Ashton.

He then placed both of his hands on my hips and leaned closer his breath fanning on the sensitive skin on my neck. It made shivers run down my spine and goosebumps appear on my skin.

I felt his lips pressed gently on my neck and I swear to God he could hear the loud thumping of my heart against my chest. He quickly pulled away and looked at me in the eyes, still with that mischievous smirk on his face. Then he leaned in and caught my lips in a gentle kiss and just then my mind just went blank and all I can think about is his lips against mine. I quickly responded to the kiss and brought my hands up to his neck and let my fingers tangle into the curls at the back. His arm then snaked around my waist and he pulled me closer to him as our lips still worked against each other.

"Is this your way of making me stay?" I asked him with a chuckle as we pulled away.

"Is it working?" he asked then pecked my lips.

I smiled down at him and said, "Unfortunately, yes."

"Well, you really didn't have to stay if you don't want to."

I placed my hands on the sides of his face and pulled him into another kiss.

"I would really love to stay the night," I told him as we pulled away again.

"I like it when you do that," He told me with a smile.

"Do what?" I asked him with a confused expression.

He just gave me a smile and a peck on the lips then pulled away from me completely making me pout with the loss of contact. He gave me a chuckle and said, offering a hand, "Come on."

I looked at his hand skeptically and said, "Where?"

"In my room, unless you wanna sleep on the couch," Ashton said.

"We're gonna sleep now? But it's still too early. Can we maybe watch a movie or something?" I said with a pleading pout.

Ashton chuckled, "I didn't say we are gonna sleep but yeah, I got everything in my room if you wanna watch a movie."

I grinned and took his hand. He led me down the familiar hallway and into a familiar room. I looked around as we stepped inside his room. Nothing has changed much as far as I can remember. Well, I've been here once and I really didn't take the time to look around that time I was first here.

"My movie collection is in that cabinet," Ashton said, pointing at the cabinet taking half of the wall across his bed where his television and DVD set are placed on top.

I smiled at him and let go of his hand and walked over to the cabinet and opened it and my eyes widened in awe seeing all of his movie collection. I mean, boy, this is massive. Like this is really a lot and everything is lined up and sorted out by genre from the classics to the latest DVD releases.

Ashton came next to me and said, "I also have Netflix in case you don't like any of these."

"Wow. This is really amazing!" I told him, eyes still wide in amazement.

"I like watching movies. It's a thing Michael and I used to do since we were kids. We always loved movies and ended up collecting some." Ashton told me as his hand landed on the small of my back.

I chuckled, "Now I don't really know what to pick."

"Netflix?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, maybe that's a better idea."

Ashton chuckled then we both plopped down on his bed and he handed me the remote. After a few bickering on what to watch, we ended up watching Mean Girls and mostly because I wanna annoy him.

Halfway through the movie, we were already cuddling on the bed. My head is resting on Ashton's chest as his arm is wrapped around me and his fingers tracing down random patterns on my arm.

I giggled silently at a scene and I felt Ashton kiss my head. I looked up at him and he gave me a small smile.

"I thought you were already sleeping," I said.

"Why would you think that?" He asked.

"Because I didn't think you'd actually watch this movie with me."

Ashton just smiled and kissed my forehead. But then I moved up and caught his lips in a soft kiss.

"Are we going to make out now, 'cause honestly, that's what I'm waiting for?" Ashton said with a playful smirk when I pulled away.

I blushed and lightly hit his chest, making him laugh. But then out of nowhere, something just occurred to me and I sat up and straddled Ashton's waist. He was obviously surprised by my action. Well, so do I, actually.

Ashton raised an eyebrow at me and I just chuckled and leaned down capturing his lips with yet another kiss. He responded immediately making his arms wrap around my body. My own hands found their way into his hair, tangling my fingers in them. The movie was completely forgotten.

What started with just an innocent kiss soon became heated as I felt Ashton lick my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I immediately granted. Our tongues immediately met and wrestled against each other. I felt him lick the roof of my mouth, making me moan into the kiss which also made Ashton release a moan, vibrating throughout our kiss.

Ashton's hold on me tightened and he suddenly flipped us over, making me shriek. He chuckled against my mouth and I playfully hit his arm. He pulled away for a moment then leaned in again for another heated kiss. Our tongues quickly found its way in each other's mouth and both fighting for dominance. I then took a hold of his bottom lip between my teeth and pulled a bit before releasing it. But our lips only separated for a second for he caught mine again and then sucked on my bottom lip and let his tongue play with my lip ring.

"I fucking love your lip ring and you are so fucking hot," he whispered against my lips.

His words made me blush and also made me be turned on more, if possible, at the same time. I pulled him in again for another kiss which made him chuckle into it as our tongues found each other again.

Ashton then started kissing from the side of my mouth down to my jaw and down to my neck just below my ear, earning a moan from me as he found my sweet spot. I felt him smile against my skin and then gently sucked on it.

My hands in his hair gently tugged a bit on it as he sucked on the sensitive skin on my neck which would obviously bruise later and become a hickey, which I don't really mind though.

His lips then soon traveled back to my own and kissed me deeply, making me pull him closer to me. I then soon felt his hands that were previously resting on my hips move and slip inside my shirt meeting my skin. His hands felt so amazingly warm against my skin, making my body shiver, goosebumps evident on it.

He then soon started kissing again down my jaw to my neck his hand caressing my skin on my side then slowly moved up on my stomach to my chest. But as I felt his hands against my skin and his lips on my neck, flashbacks from the awful night of that frat party just suddenly came back to me and all I can think about is Andrew touching me and forcing himself on me.

Panic quickly rose up in me and my eyes watered as my lips trembled, afraid that I am back on that night again and it is Andrew who is with me now and touching me. My mind just completely got taken over with fear and panic that I no longer am aware of anything happening and who I am with.

"No! Stop! No! Don't touch me. Please, no!" I let out, eyes shut closed and tear slipping out, as I pushed the person on top of me, thinking it was Andrew.

"Luke?"I heard the familiar voice say. The voice who always makes me feel safe.

"Help me, don't let him touch me," I said to the voice, still not opening my eyes.

I felt a hand touch my face and I flinched and I let out a sob, "No, please, don't touch me."

The hand was immediately retracted from my face and then I heard the voice again saying, "Luke? What's wrong?"

"Don't let Andrew touch me, please." I sobbed.

"Fuck. Luke, open your eyes. Andrew's not here. It's me. It's just me: Ashton."

As soon as I heard his name, I shot my eyes open and looked up, meeting his hazel-green pools. I immediately reached out for him and he pulled me to him, locking me in his embrace, making me feel so safe. I sobbed in his chest as I clung on his shirt.

"Please, don't let him touch me again," I sobbed on his chest.

I felt him tighten his embrace around me as he said, "Don't worry, baby, I won't ever let him do that to you again. I promise."

I nodded against his chest. "Thank you."

We stayed like that for a while. Just laying on the bed in silence, him holding me close. The TV was turned off already and the lights are out but both of us are still awake.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him in the dark after a while.

"For what?" He whispered back.

"For ruining our date night."

"So it was really a date night, huh?" He asked with a small chuckle.

I smiled against his chest and nodded. "Thanks by the way."

"For what now?"

"For everything."

He didn't say anything and just pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Can I ask you a favor?" I asked him.

"Anything." He responded.

"Can we maybe just keep us between each other for now? I just..." I sighed, not knowing how to explain why I don't want people to know about us yet.

"It's ok, baby, nobody would know about us until you're ready." He said, making me feel relieved that he didn't push on knowing why.

"You called me 'baby'," I pointed out.

"Well, you're my baby. Why? You don't like it?" He asked.

"No, not that, I like it, actually. It just surprised me. Anyway, thanks for understanding."

"Well, I love sneaking around, it's exciting so no worries."

I chuckled at what he said, making me look up at him and look at his features in the dark. He's really beautiful. I slowly reached up and pecked his lips.

His hand landed on my cheek and he said, "You should get some sleep. You still have an early class tomorrow."

"Ok," I nodded. "Goodnight, Ash."

He smiled as he pressed a gentle kiss on my lips and then whispered, "Goodnight, baby."

---