Chapter 7: The Killing

Chapter Seven

The killing

Now that I think about it...I'll be dating my brother! That's gross. But I was dating him before my mom adopted him so finders' keepers! I helped Derwin to the bathroom and I left to grab some of his clothes from the small hospital closet. I took out a shirt, jeans, and a really cute pair of his boxers. I laughed silently for a while. If anyone was watching they'd think I either lost my mind or I'm really immature. I closed my eyes and brought them back to him.

"Here," I said holding the clothes out.

"You can open your eyes you know," he said taking the clothes.

"I don't think so. You could be naked."

"I'm not I promise," he said.

"You better not."

I removed my hand from my eyes but kept them tightly shut.

"I'm scared," I said.

"You are such a baby."

"Okay if you're not lying let me touch you."

"Whoa. I thought your mom made it clear we are not doing that." He said laughing.

"Then admit you're lying."

"Fine. Touch me," he said. He moved closer to my outstretched hand.

I touched his chest. He had a shirt on. I moved my hand down. I was scared out of my mind. I touched his waist. It felt like he had clothes on.

"I don't want to do this anymore!"

"Then open your eyes," he said.

I thought about it for a moment then decided what's the worst that could happen?

"Okay," I said quietly.

I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me. I lowered my eyes and immediately regretted it.

"My eyes!" I screamed. My hand flew up to cover my eyes and I blindly backed out of the bathroom. Derwin laughed for a good while.

"You should've seen your face!"

"It's not funny. I wasn't expecting you to expose yourself to me," I mumbled.

"Expose myself?! Gosh you're such a dork. You looked like you saw a ghost or something." He started laughing all over again. "Your eyes got all wide."

"Stop it. You're a... a," I couldn't come up with a come back.

"You know you liked it," he said.

"I am so not having this conversation right now. Put your clothes on and let's go before I leave you."

"Ooh a little testy now, are we?"

"Don't say testy!" That made him start laughing all over again.

"You're so immature," I said even though a moment ago I was giggling over the fact I was touching his boxers.

Derwin, finally clothed, came out of the bathroom. He came over to me and gave me a hug.

"Was it really that bad?" he asked.

"I said I'm not having this conversation but if I was I would say no it wasn't."

"Yes! Now let's get out of here." He took my hand and we walked out of the room together.

"Finally! What took you so long?" asked Vicky.

"Um..." Our mom was right there so I couldn't say anything about what happened.

"She wanted to make sure I match," said Derwin.

"Oh, well, you do match. Now can we go home?" whined Vicky.

"Alright my children. Let's get out of here," said my mom. Yay! She included Derwin in the "my children" thing.

Mom took us all home and said that Derwin could sleep in my room (after much begging).

"Come on," I said. I took Derwin's hand and brought him up to my room. I closed the door and sat down.

"You'll be sleeping here again!" I squealed. "Except this time I don't mind for you to sleep in my bed."

"I'm glad because that corner wasn't very comfortable." He grinned at me.

"Is that why you were being so weird? Because I made you sleep in the farthest corner in the room?"

"Oh, um yeah." His eyes slightly shifted from mine to the side of my face. "Hey I'll be back okay." He didn't even wait for my reply. He left and went downstairs.

I wondered why he wasn't as happy as I was. I decided he was probably just nervous and shook it off. I picked up my cell phone and decided to call Ya-ya.

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Derwin's Point of View

"Oh, um yeah," I said. I couldn't lie straight to her face so I moved my eyes to the side of her face. It kills me to have to keep things from her but she can't know...not yet.

"Hey I'll be back okay." I didn't wait for a response and headed down the stairs.

"Ms. Hayze, could you possibly take me to the pharmacy please?" I asked.

"Sure but may I ask why?" she said.

"I just have to pick something up. It'll be quick."

"Okay honey. Come on." She put her arm around me and led me to the front door.

We got in the car and drove in silence. When we arrived, I told her she could stay in the car. She agreed and I hurried into the pharmacy hoping no one I knew saw me. I made my way to the back towards the prescriptions desk and as soon as the pharmacist saw me she smiled.

"Back already Derwin?" she asked.

"Um yeah unfortunately."

"Here you go hon." She said, handing me a small, brown paper bag.

"Thanks Wendy." I smiled and gave her twenty dollars.

"Hon you know that all your prescriptions are paid for by the clinic right?" she asked.

"Yes, but consider it as a tip for being so nice to me." No one who knew about my secret was so nice to me.

"You know you're a great kid Derwin. If I were ten years younger..." she laughed.

"Thanks. And if I were ten years older." I laughed with her. "I have to go."

"Okay bye."

I quickly left the pharmacy and ran out to Ms. Hayze's car. I sat in the passengers' side and told her I was all set.

"Those aren't condoms are they?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"No, of course not," I said quickly. I pulled out the small bottle containing my pills and showed her.

"Oh. Okay." She seemed like she wanted to ask what was wrong with me but she didn't.

We arrived back to my new house and went inside. She didn't say anything to me except to ask her if I needed anything else. I went upstairs and realized I didn't have anywhere to hide the pills. Jazmaine would want to know what was in the bag and I can't say nothing is in it. I go back downstairs and notice Ms. Hayze isn't in the kitchen. I use that as an opportunity to take one before she comes back. I grab a glass of water and do what I've been doing for the past three years. I take the pills out of the bag and set them on the counter. I stare at them for a moment and open the bottle. I shook one into my hand and put down the container. I put it into my mouth and swallowed it down with some water. I sighed and looked up to find Jazmaine standing in the living room staring at me. Damn.

"You're popping pills?" she asked.

This is why I couldn't let her see me. She wouldn't understand. I stare at her thinking of what I should say.

"Answer me!" she screams.

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Jazmaine's Point of View

Ya-ya answered after the first few rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ya-ya."

"Oh, hey girl. What's up?"

"Well Derwin is out of the hospital and my mom adopted him."

"What?"

"He's related to me now."

"Ew. Are you going to break up?"

"I hope not. I was with him before my mom adopted him. And we had to. His dad is a creeper."

"Oh okay. Just be careful." She said.

"What do you mean be careful?" I ask.

"He isn't.... normal."

"Normal? He seems normal."

"Look he isn't so just trust me."

"How do you even know about this?" I ask.

"We know each other. I mean before the party. We used to go to the same school in the town he lived in before. We had this thing."

"Wow small world. What do you mean you had a thing?"

"We went out for a while. We did things."

She was hiding something from me. I intend to find out.

"Spit it out. What kind of things?" I pressed. I heard her take a deep breath. "Did you guys have sex?" I asked.

"Yes."

"So, he lied to me!" I yelled.

"No, it's not what you think. He was a virgin and he decided he didn't want his first time to be with another virgin because it would be too awkward. We liked each other a lot so he picked me. I know I should have told you but I thought he told you already."

"Wow. I wasn't expecting that." I had nothing more to say to her for the moment, so I just stayed quiet.

"Are you mad?" After a minute of thinking I decided I wasn't mad.

"No."

"So are you going to listen to me? About being careful around Derwin?"

"What did he do to you?" I asked.

"I can't tell you right now. My parents just got home. I'll tell you at school tomorrow."

"Okay fine. I have to go."

"Okay. Bye."

I hung up without saying bye and my mind was swirling with questions. Why wouldn't he tell me this? Why isn't he normal according to Ya-ya? Why am I suddenly jealous? I needed to get a drink. I walked down the stairs and saw Derwin in the kitchen. I was about to sneak up on him when I noticed something in his hand. It was a small bottle of pills. Oh my God he's popping pills! I thought to myself. He put one in his mouth and chased it down with a glass of water. He sighed and put his head down. Who knows how many he took before that one. He looked up and saw me staring at him.

"You're popping pills?" I heard myself ask. He didn't answer right away. In fact he didn't answer at all. "Answer me!" I screamed. I walked towards him and snatched the bottle off the counter.

"No stop!" he yelled.

"What are these?" I asked. He was walking towards me and I moved to the other side of the kitchen. "Don't come any closer." I said. He immediately stopped in his tracks.

I looked at the bottle and noticed it had his name on it. I read it and saw what these mysterious pills were.

"Mood stabilizers?" I said.

Derwin didn't look at me. Instead he stared at the floor.

"Yeah. I... I'm bipolar." He said.

Everything seemed to get quiet. No more birds chirping, no more leaves rustling in the wind, I'm not even sure I could hear anything except my own heart beating. How could I have not known? How come he didn't tell me?

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I asked.

"Because you wouldn't understand. Everyone treats me differently when I tell them. They aren't as nice to me. They make it seem like I need to be locked up."

"Of course I would understand. It was worse having me find out by seeing you taking pills in my kitchen. You scared me!"

"I'm sorry okay! I just didn't want you to think of me as "poor little Derwin". I didn't want you thinking of me differently."

"I am your girlfriend. I don't care whether you are bipolar or schizophrenic. I love you and don't you EVER forget that," I said. I handed his pills back but he still

wouldn't look at me.

"Why won't you look at me?" I asked.

"It's nothing. Just a... side-effect. I'm fine." He smiled at me then looked back down.

"Okay. I'm gonna go get ready for bed so come up whenever you're ready," I said. I treaded up the stairs and went to my room. I grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom. I showered and brushed my teeth.

Derwin was still downstairs. He was also still standing in the same spot I left him in twenty-five minutes ago. I went to my room and dropped my towel to the floor. I hadn't laid out my clothes so I fished through my drawers for something to wear to bed. I was leaning over a drawer when I heard the door open. Didn't I lock it?! I whipped around and saw Derwin standing wide-eyed in the doorway.

"Oh I- I didn't- I mean... uh..what?" he stammered.

"Get out!" I screamed although I made no move to cover myself up.

"Sorry!" he cried. He covered his eyes and backed out the door. He bumped into the door frame and fell over. I giggled and he scrambled out of the room with his eyes shut tightly. He finally got the door closed and I laughed so much I cried.

I got dressed and opened the door. Derwin was standing right in front of it, like he was waiting for me.

"You are so hot," he said. He walked me back into the room and closed the door behind him. He kissed me fiercely and backed me into the wall.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled against his lips.

"Shhh. Don't speak," he said, sweeping me up into his arms.

He laid me down on the bed and got on top of me. He resumed kissing me but gentler this time. I kissed back but I knew I had to stop this before it got too far. His kisses moved down my jaw towards my collarbone.

"Derwin we can't do this," I said.

"Come on. Your mom isn't even here," he said.

"Derwin stop. Even if she isn't here, Vicky is. And I want to wait.... Unlike you," I said. I mumbled the last part.

"What was that last part?"

"Nothing."

He got up and walked over to the door. He locked it and turned back to me.

"There now she can't walk in," he said. He said it as if that just solved everything. He straddled my hips and tried to take my shirt off. I held it down with both hands.

"I said no!" I shouted.

"Come on!" he whined.

He struggled with my shirt, but I held on to it.

"You know what, unlike Ya-ya, I can keep my legs closed!" I screamed.

He stopped fighting with my shirt and glared at me. "Who told you that?" he asked.

Crap, I shouldn't have said that but it's too late. I had to make something up.

"You did. Just now. I just made it up, but you confirmed it," I said triumphantly.

"Don't fucking lie to me," he growled.

I could've sworn he sounded exactly like Ted.

"Get the hell off of me Derwin," I said.

Something happened. My cheek stung. Little stars flashed across my vision. He slapped me! I began to see more and more of Ted in him. I clutched me cheek and held back the tears. I realized now that tears were for the weak. I shoved him off me and ran for the door. I fumbled with the lock and cursed at myself for wanting a lock in the first place. I finally got it open and ran down the stairs. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen on my way out the back door. I climbed the ladder to the tree house and huddled in the corner. I poised the knife above my wrist and considered cutting myself for a moment. I've always wondered what it would be like, but I was always too scared to try.

"What are you doing?" screamed Derwin from the window.

I pointed the knife at him and screeched, "None of your damn business!"

He hopped out the window and started climbing the ladder.

"Go away!" I yelled.

Derwin poked his head through the tree house door and stared at me.

"Get out now you bastard!" I spat.

I put the knife to my wrist once again.

"No stop," he said. He climbed into the tree house and I put the knife to my throat.

"I would much rather kill myself than be dating the spitting image of Ted," I hissed.

"How could you ever say that?" he asked with hurt laced in his voice.

"You slapped me Derwin. And I didn't even deserve it! You slapped me because I didn't want to have sex with you!" A lump rose in my throat but I ignored it. "We can't be together anymore." I said.

"No, I'm sorry!" He tried to hug me and the knife slid across my neck. Not deep enough to kill me on the spot but enough to make me pass out.

I gasped and dropped the knife. I fell back as everything went black. The last thing I saw was Derwin's shocked face.