06

**ETHAN NDZAMBA**

I was sleeping in my bedroom and listening to my parents arguing like they did every time they were both home. I took my pillow to cover my head and thus block my ears, I couldn't stand the noise anymore. The more time passed, the more unbearable it became. My big brother had been released three years ago when he had won the baccalaureate, I couldn't wait to get that damn exam to get out of here. I knew that my parents hadn't loved each other for a long time and that if they were still together it was simply to keep up appearances and not to give reason to their families who were against their union and who had said that this marriage would not last. not.

They had been together for more than 20 years and had been married for 18 years. From their relationship were born two children, my big brother Alex 20 years old who now lived in Germany where he was studying and me 17 years old. To tell the truth, it had been almost five years since their marriage was no longer one. But the problems go back much further than that. Already small, we almost never saw our father because he was always between two planes because of his function as a diplomat.

I was sleeping in my bedroom and listening to my parents arguing like they did every time they were both home. I took my pillow to cover my head and thus block my ears, I couldn't stand the noise anymore. The more time passed, the more unbearable it became. My big brother had been released three years ago when he had won the baccalaureate, I couldn't wait to get that damn exam to get out of here.

I knew that my parents hadn't loved each other for a long time and that if they were still together it was simply to keep up appearances and not to give reason to their families who were against their union and who had said that this marriage would not last. not. They had been together for more than 20 years and had been married for 18 years. From their relationship were born two children, my big brother Alex 20 years old who now lived in Germany where he was studying and me 17 years old.

To tell the truth, it had been almost five years since their marriage was no longer one. But the problems go back much further than that. Already small, we almost never saw our father because he was always between two planes because of his function as a diplomat. Several times ambassador of Gabon in several countries, we had traveled a lot before my mother decided to come back and settle with us in Gabon when I was 8 or 9 years old. She blamed my father for not being there for us. Afterwards, it was she who no longer stayed at home, she preferred to go on a trip with her friends, who knew where, and left Alex and me at home. When they made the effort to both be at home, it was endless arguments until one of them got into his car to leave.

We literally had to educate ourselves since the age of 11 for me and 14 for him. We had to build the tough character and reputation we now had. Our absent parents compensated for their absence with equipment. We were very well off to make anyone green with envy. We still had all the fashionable gadgets and material comforts we wanted. But parents, we didn't have any since they were always absent. When I was younger, I wanted to be and live like the other children I saw in the schools we attended and whose parents came to pick them up after class.

I had friends who told me about their family life and the love and complicity they had with their parents and I was sad. My parents had never come to pick us up from school, it was always the drivers, dad always traveling and mom who was present at the beginning, spent her time complaining about her absence or spent her time manipulating his telephone. Sometimes I tried to go to her to spend time with her, but she pushed me away and sent me to play in my room because she was busy. I often went to lock myself in my room and I cried.

It was Alex who came to console me and tell me that I had to stop playing the baby and that I had to toughen up and become a man. There was no room for love in our lives and I had to stop hoping or expecting it from our parents because it would never come. At 10, he asked our parents to enroll us in boxing and karate to build my character, he showed me how a boy should behave in all aspects, himself having learned that with the greats of the street he frequented from time to time. In the same vein, he had taught me to sleep without attachment with the girls.

My first experience was when I was 11 years old with the niece of our cleaning lady who was 18 years old. He had given her money to deflower me and she had done it. The thing had not lasted more than 10min but I had been entitled to a blowjob and a penetration. In the end, she got dressed, told my brother that I was well calibrated downstairs but that I didn't know how to use it.

I had been quite upset and my brother more than me and he had done his best to make me a machine on this level to the point where three years later this same girl was nagging me to put her to bed. He had made me repeat never to attach myself to a woman because love did not exist, we had the proof before our eyes with our parents. The women we took them, we told them a lot of bullshit because these little creatures liked lies, so we should not hesitate to do it with them, the bigger the lie, the more they believed and we put them to bed for a long time until the moment when we decided that we no longer wanted them, then we threw them away to take others. He taught me tips and tricks to cultivate my charisma and attract even more girls.

To the point that today, I no longer made any effort, they fell into my arms on their own. He had told me not to make the mistake of letting them into my privacy and for that, I should never bring them home. He himself did not. Yet we were home alone most of the time, but he believed that home was a sacred place that contained the reality of our family and it made us vulnerable. So we would go to another house that my parents had to make our mess but never home. Nobody but him and I knew the truth about my family life, we all, including parents, acted out to keep up appearances at parties and other events. My friends didn't know anything about my family situation either, they did come to the hut, but as my parents were rarely present, they only saw them very rarely.

My friends ? Who were they? They were Sébastien (18), my second and oldest of all, friends since 4th grade, Rick (19) friends since 3rd grade, Donnel (18) and Eddy (19) had joined the group in second. We formed together the "Tigers". Name I had received from my brother who had decided to call me that at the boxing club. This name had arrived at school. When Seb started walking with me in 8th grade, we called him the tiger's friend until I trained him and made him act exactly like me, people ended up calling him that because I liked him. called so. The same process had taken place with the other three a little later.

It had to be said that having a strong personality and the character that I had, I influenced a lot of people and almost all the guys around me wanted to be my friends, but only I had selection criteria. You already had to be handsome, yes, I was myself and I wasn't going to walk around with guys who weren't. Beauty was not the only criterion, you also had to be clean, trendy and cool, interesting and able to express yourself correctly. I had to be able to detect in you a touch of greatness of spirit and finally an intelligence above the average.

Me, unlike my brother who was also influential in his establishment, he hung out with the little people. This was not the case for me, I had read somewhere that we were "the sum of the five people who were closest to us" so to reach a good figure, you had to surround yourself with a real team and that was what we were doing. This was the reason many had failed to enter my circle, they did not meet the criteria. We challenge all prejudices about scientists. We heard everywhere that the students who made the science series were always naughty, dirty, frumpy and did not know how to have fun. (Smile) We weren't, we were totally against that approach to the point of being the *stars* of high school.

The sound of a door slamming caught my attention and soon after I was listening to the roar of an engine. From the noise he was making, I knew it was dad who was going away like that. Shortly after, someone knocked on my door.

Me: (gasping) Who is that?

Mom: It's me Kilian.

It's me? Did that answer the question? I didn't understand the mania people had for answering "It's me" after the question to know the identity of the person who was behind a door. I really didn't understand anything. I still got up from my bed to open the door for him.

Me: (opening the door) Hello mom.

Mom: (Looking me up and down) Don't you have class today?

Me: It's Friday, I have class from 10am.

Mom: I see. I came to tell you that I'm leaving for Port-Gentil (city) I'm going to spend the whole weekend there, your father went to Franceville.

Me: (imperturbable) Ok.

Mom: Do you still have money in your card?

I still had some but I wasn't going to tell him that and miss an opportunity to get even more money.

Me: Not much left.

Mom: What are you doing with the Kilian money? I transferred 2 million inland less than three weeks ago.

Me: (rolling his eyes) I have needs mom, I have to manage in your absence to live.

Mom: Hmm. In any case, I'm going to call the bank so that they can make you a transfer, but you have to learn how to manage your money, I remind you that it doesn't grow on trees.

Me: Hmm. That's all ?

Mom: Yes. And you have to think about wearing real pants, you can't show up in your underwear to open the door knowing what you have between your legs, it's not done.

I watched it without commenting. As the situation of my penis mattered, it was fine. She had turned her back and left. I closed the door and went to lie down on the bed, only sleep had disappeared. I then went to my bathroom to wash and brush myself. Back in the room, after applying a cream on my body, I had put on clean underwear, a white tank top and the pants of my high school outfit. It was only 7 a.m. and I had class at 10 a.m., so I had plenty of time.

I had picked up my phone and my headset and went downstairs to go first to the living room where I greeted Mama Patience, our cleaning lady, before heading to the kitchen to make my breakfast. I had seen that there were already eggs in the form of an omelet with wholemeal bread, apple juice (my favorite) a cup of milk and some croissants. I smiled before retracing my steps and giving Mom a big kiss. Patience, this woman was truly a mother to me, she always made sure I was eating properly. She had worked for my parents for many years. She came here every morning and returned home in the evening, from Monday to Saturday because she had a family.

She was a very kind woman who feared God and was very pious. I had already surprised him several times praying for my family and especially for me. It was true that her prayers were unsuccessful given the chaos that had reigned for years in our family, but hey, she at least had the merit of trying. She reminded me a lot of the little Christian girl who was at school and who wandered around evangelizing.

Mom Patience: (bringing me out of my reverie) What do you want from me, Kilian Lilian?

Me: (grabbing her by the waist, smiling before giving her a kiss) I forgot to give you a kiss when I passed my sweetheart earlier. Thanks for the breakfast.

Mom Patience: (smiling) You recognize that I am the chosen one of your heart only when you see something to eat, don't you?

Me: (smiling) Nope. Even with hunger you are and will remain the chosen one of my heart.

Mom Patience: You and flattery were born on the same day, right? You have to leave me alone, I'm a married woman.

Me: Tell Papa Simon that I'll come and pick you up soon because as soon as I get my baccalaureate, I'll take you with me to France. We will live our love there.

Mama Patience: (laughing) You are really crazy.

I am serious. That way you'll continue to bring me peace there.

Mother Patience: I have already told you that the one who gives peace is called Jesus Christ, it is not me and I have already prayed to him for you so that he gives you a pious wife who will walk with you and I know he will answer that prayer.

I didn't know why but when she said that the face of the little Christian girl from my high school there came into my mind. Maybe it was because she was the most pious girl I had seen in my life. I had also been seized by his speech in our class on Monday. I didn't know much about the things of the Bible but I at least knew that she was not simple and when she spoke and said that her Jesus was the one who told the young man that his parents' marriage was going to be restored , my heart had been touched and I was tempted to stand up at the end, my whole being wanted to go out there and answer his call but I had struggled to get over it. These things weren't for me, besides to confirm this, the relationship between my parents had even gotten worse, so...

Me: (breaking away from her) I already told you that if it's not you, I won't marry anyone else.

Mom Patience: (smiling) We'll see about that at the end Kilian Lilian, go eat.

I left smiling, this woman really. And I didn't understand why she liked to call me by the other two first names and not by the one that everyone used. The others called me Ethan except mum who she preferred Kilian and mum Patience, for her it was Kilian Lilian, she said it was more original. NDZAMBA Ethan Kilian Lilian was my full name but few people knew my two other first names.

Why did I have three first names that rhymed like this? I had no idea, they sound like first names given to twin brothers or children who follow each other. What was their delirium exactly? I couldn't tell, just that I was wearing them.

I went to sit down and started eating while fiddling with my phone. I was chatting with the tigers at tonight's party and at the same time with Jessica, my hit of the moment, good at least the main one, "the official" as she liked to say to anyone who wanted to hear it. She was a little boring around the edges, but knew how to spread her legs and give sick blowjobs. I was going to have fun with her until I decided to replace her.

She told me she was looking forward to the party and she had surprises for me. She was supposed to be in class but Madame was talking by messenger, you felt someone who didn't take her studies seriously, minus 1 for her. It was because of things like that too that she couldn't get very far with me, in the two weeks that we had been in this relationship, nothing really constructive had come out of her mouth.

Whether it's about studies or his future. Even when I asked her if she had any exercises or research to do, she always replied in the negative. Yet I saw the girls in her class working, but she nothing. In any case it was not my problem, she wanted to chat, we were going to do it quite to disrupt her class. So I chatted with her until I received a message from Mobile Money informing me that I had received a deposit of 560 miles on my phone number.

Mom: (in front of the kitchen door) Did you get the deposit?

Me: (looking up at her) Yeah.

I had noticed that she was already dressed and had a sports bag in her hand and a small trolley at her feet.

Mom: I'm leaving, I couldn't reach the bank. Deal with that first, anyway, I'm coming back on Monday and the fridge and freezer are full. I think that for your personal needs you can assume them.

Me: I'll manage.

Mom: Okay. If your brother calls you will tell him to call his father because I have no money to send him, I am not a bank. (Putting his glasses over his eyes) You better not mess up my house. I left.

No sooner said than she turned on her heels and disappeared from my field of vision. I continued with what I was doing before rinsing off the effects and returning to the bedroom where I had finished getting ready and then I went back downstairs, said goodbye to Mama Patience, climbed into one of the cars in my father and I had left for school…

Sébastien: Do you think I should invite the little girl from the second there?

Me: You said you invited Jess's girlfriend didn't you?

Sebastian: Yes.

Me: So what's the point? Unless you don't intend to end with this girl, what's her name again?

Sebastian: Erna.

Me: Here it is.

Sebastian: Yes. She's been bugging me for so long, and Jess confirmed that to me last week.

Me: You have your answer.

Sebastian: Yup.

Me: did you handle all the drink and sound?

Sébastien: The sound system is ok, snake (DJ) will handle it as usual, as far as drinks are concerned, we finalize everything after class.

Me: who will take care of it like that I will make a transfer on his number.

Sebastian: Rick and Don.

Me: Ok. Where are they even?

Sébastien: At home, to take the juices and Eddy is on surveillance.

Me: What did he do?

Sébastien: I didn't quite understand the trick, but in any case it has to do with his baccalaureate file, he will come and tell us when he gets back.

Me: We hope it's nothing serious.

Sebastian: Yes. You know that

-Good morning.

We had raised our heads to look at the little Christian and her friend who had just greeted us.

Us: Hello.

They had continued on their way. We watched them until they disappeared from our field of vision.

Sébastien: Casually, the little ones there are beautiful, oh. If they hadn't been wasting their time with their Jesus business coming back soon, they would have had a lot of success.

Me: (smiling)

Sébastien: In addition they are very intelligent, it's really a mess I assure you.

He was still talking when Rick and Donnel followed closely by Eddy came to find us. The first two had distributed the drinks to us while the other had explained to us his concern with the administration. Apparently he was missing his birth certificate in his file and he had to bring one before the end of next week because the files would be transferred to the ministry before December 31, that is to say in less than two weeks. He had called his parents to inform them and they had said that they would make arrangements after which, we had returned to class where the history-geo lesson had started…

We had been at the party for almost an hour and it had to be said that there was a crazy crowd. No one wanted to miss one of our parties. It was their cleaning lady who wasn't going to be happy the next day because of the mess. Sébastien's parents were both traveling and his big sister who didn't care what he could do had also gone to her boyfriend's suddenly, we had free time at home, only we had taken the care of blocking access to the floor where the rooms they occupied were, everything downstairs was available and the way things were going and especially the drink, the rooms were soon to be occupied.

We saw the girls fidgeting on the improvised track. Girls really! It was true that the outfit hid a lot of things oh, once removed, you were dealing with other individuals. Jessica was also sitting on my legs and was stamping at her own pace while casting high glances at all those who dreamed of being in her place. She was sort of marking her territory. I watched with a smirk his ride and I crossed from time to time the displeased looks of my side who were in the room. All this amused me.

At least they all knew that the first one who made me a scandal was going to burn her card and I was never going to call her again, so they were square. My phone started ringing in my pocket, I picked it up and looked at the caller ID to see it was Alex, my older brother. I told Jess I had to take the call outside and I walked out and picked up.