05

**MYRNA NZAOU**

Maman Adèle: Myrna and Sara, take over the singing lead, Élodie and Jessica, you will do the backing vocals with the others.

It was the leader of the singers who had just spoken. S and I looked at each other before looking at Jessica who obviously wasn't happy with this decision, she was the one who had given the title of the song and was hoping to sing it as lead with Élodie but unfortunately they couldn't make it not and we who were in the choirs, we could not move forward, as well as the musicians. We had moved S and I to put us in front to start singing the song of Ada Ehie "I fix my eyes on you" (I fix my eyes on you) in feat with Sinach. It was the song she had suggested.

It wasn't the first time S and I had sung together, yet she was still scared. She didn't like being lead because she felt it wasn't for her, she sang very well but she preferred to be in backing vocals. Very few people went solo to be a lead in church, there were barely 10 of us. When the others came, it was always with a confirmed lead. The case of Jessica and Élodie were special cases, the truth was that they did not know how to sing, at least Élodie was improving day by day since she took the rehearsals seriously and practiced each time to sing. but Jessica nothing. The reason for her presence there was that Maman Agathe, her mother who was on the council and the wife of Pastor Landry, one of the pastors of the church, had decided so, and it was she who put the pressure so that her girl be in the band and sing. Maman Agathe was also the sister of pastor Éric, senior pastor and founder of the church, who himself was Élodie's father. Which meant that she did her law a little in church from time to time and only her brother could calm her down and currently, he was on a trip for a seminar, he was going to come back the week of the holidays. . As a result, we suffered a little from the little tirade of his sister.

I looked at S and smiled encouragingly. She had a voice that was more or less normal with a little high pitch, but she sang more in the basic voice. Mine on the other hand was more in the bass. That's the easiest way to explain it, I didn't want to use the technical terms of fifth, third, alto and others, it would take too much time. She had to sing the part of Ada and I that of Sinach because our voices were pretty much like that. She had taken her inspiration and had launched into the song which was in English.

Sara: My very plan is to trust in You

(My plan is to trust you)

I trust in You

(I trust you)

All my hope is found in You

All my hopes are pinned on you)

I've found in You

(I'm grounded in you)

There is no fear

(There is no fear)

There is no doubt

(There is no longer any doubt)

The One who walked on water

(He who walked on water)

hold my hands

(Hold my hands)

You're who began this good work in me

(You are the one who started this good work in me)

You are able

(You are capable)

Backing vocals: You perfect it all

You perfect it all

You make all things new

(You make everything new)

Like only You can

(Like only you can)

You perfect it all

You perfect it all

All I have to do is fix my eyes on You

(All I have to do is fix my eyes on you.)

You, You, You, You, You, You

(You, You, You, You, You, You)

I fix my eyes on You

(I fix my eyes on You)

I fix my eyes on You

(I fix my eyes on You)

Me: My very plan is to trust in You

I trust in You

All my hope is found in You

I've found in You

There is no fear

There is no doubt

The One who walked on water

hold my hands

You're who began this good work in me

You are able

The choirs: You perfect it all

You perfect it all

You make all things new

Like only You can

You perfect it all

You perfect it all

All I have to do, is fix my eyes on You

You, You, You, You, You, You, oh-oh

Lord I fix my eyes on You

Fix my eyes on You

You, You, You, You, You, You

I fix my eyes on You

Me: For the One who walks with the Lord

(For one who walks with the Lord)

Sara: Never walk alone

(Never walk alone)

Me:And those who call upon the name of

Jesus (And those who call the name of Jesus)

Sara:Never cry for help

Sara / Me: For the One who walks with the Lord

Never walk alone

And those who call upon the name of Jesus

Never cry for help

You perfect it all

You perfect it all

You make all things new

(You make everything new)

Like only You can

(Like only You can)

I have no fear (I have no fear)

(I'm not afraid *2)

And I have no doubt, You are able

(And I have no doubt, You are capable)

The choirs: You perfect it all

You perfect it all

You make all things new

Like only You can

You perfect it all

You perfect it all

All I have to do, is to fix my eyes on You

You, You, You (fix my eyes on You)

Sara/Me: (looking at us) I can walk on water (fix my eyes on You)

(I can walk on water 'fix my eyes on You)

As I fix my eyes on You

(As I fix my eyes on You)

I keep my eyes on You

(I keep my eyes on You)

All things are possible to me

(All things are possible for me)

As I fix my eyes on You (fix my eyes on You)

Only You, sweet Jesus

(Only You, sweet Jesus)

Fix my eyes (I fix my eyes)

(Fix my eyes on You "I fix my eyes")

I fix my eyes on You

(I fix my eyes on You)

I will never fail (no)

(I will never fail "no")

As I fix eyes on You

(As I fix my eyes on You)

We had held hands at the end of the song, we were so connected that we had even forgotten that we were in rehearsals. We were able to see that we had had an impact on the others who were for the most part in a state quite close to the daze.

Maman Adèle: (smiling while wiping the corner of her eye) Wonderful, you are going to sing this song on Sunday during worship.

Sara: (surprised) I'll be in front?

Mama Adele: Yes. Myrna will drive you. In any case, you do like today, you saw the anointing that was in the room?

Sarah: Yes.

Mama Adele: That's it. Sunday with better preparation, it will be more than that. I really like the progress you are making, keep it up and you will go far.

Sara: Thank you mum Adele.

Maman Adèle: (to the others) Did you see how Sara did it? You can see the work she has done. Everyone remembers his debut here, right?

We all laughed, including S because it was really catastrophic. As she liked to tell me, if she had joined the group it was to follow the movement and above all to get closer to me and have the opportunity to share many more things together because she knew that singing was an integral part of my life and that I spent a lot of time on it. So when I asked her to come home four years ago, she didn't hesitate. The beginnings were difficult but we practiced a lot, whether at church with the others or in our homes when we met. Both of our progress were visible. Me, although singing from a very young age, I took the rehearsals very seriously, the results were the rendering that we did in front of people.

Maman Adèle: Well, everyone remembers it, except of course the newcomers. But the expression "sing like a pan" suited him very well and today we see the results. Only hard work that meets God's grace can take an ordinary person to heights. Do you understand me ?

Us: (together) Yes.

Mama Adele: Okay. We'll pray and you can leave except the leads because you know we have another meeting.

Leads: Yes.

Maman Adèle: Ok. Well, let's bow our heads in respect while Fred raises his voice in prayer.

We had all done it. The latter had prayed before we all made "Amen".

Maman Adèle: Let's not forget that on Friday there will be a retreat with the three groups of singers and musicians. We will be fasting and praying, during this time, we will take the opportunity to discuss the program for the end of the year.

Us: Okay.

The others including Sara had left the room and the leads (Five) from 15 to 30 had stayed and the other five, the over 30s had returned to join us. I was naturally the youngest in the group, but I already had a lot of experience under my belt. But I hoped and worked secretly to reach the levels and even exceed of the three that the general opinion and I considered to be the best. Papa Teddy, Auxiliary Mum and of course Mum Adèle, the head of the singers. They were really very good, each with their own particular style but they mastered the thing. I took great pleasure in being next to them and I was very attentive when they were in front of the stage, even if lately, they tended to leave us, the youngest, leaders. They only intervened in major programs or else they went more to the missions in the provinces or outside the country. I too one day was going to be like them, working day and night for it and literally drinking their advice. When we wanted to be big, we went with the big guys and that's what I did. One day, I thought in the depths of my heart, my voice, singing to the glory of my God, would resound in the four corners of the world to lead men to their creator, it was a dream that I cherished.

We had the meeting, it was essentially a question of being taught on the importance of having a deep communion with the Spirit of God if we wanted to avoid falling into the tricks of the devil and the seduction of the world. Because when we, as a cantor, especially when we had a bit of notoriety and visibility, the big head syndrome very often took hold of us and we tended to look down on people. The devil liked things like that and he even used people and lots of tricks to make us more proud. And we knew that our God abhorred the proud, it was important to remain lucid and humble despite our position. Tonton Teddy had told us that one of the singers he knew, a very good one, had let himself be taken in like that and had even died of it after having denied his faith and becoming a prostitute. He had abandoned his wife and children to follow the notoriety, he had started taking drugs, smoking and having sex with women of all kinds. He had abandoned gospel music for that of the world and had been found dead in a hotel room, completely naked following an overdose. It was sad and really unfortunate. So it was important to watch his heart and what went into it on the one hand and to be seated on the scriptures and have a solid communion with the Holy Spirit so as not to be carried away by all the winds of doctrine, on the other hand.

We were then taught how to be a good vocal lead and had learned lots of tips and tricks for that which I had taken care to write down in my little music notebook in addition to my singers notebook that I had. We then did some exercises before praying and separating. We had spent nearly two hours there to add to that the three hours of the first meeting I had spent all my afternoon and my early evening at the church. Sara must have gone home before me, she had sent me a message. When I got home, I had stopped at a pastry shop to have some ice cream because Mom wanted some. I had passed the tiger gang inside, they were sitting on a table with high school girls including Jessica who was sitting on Ethan's lap. We looked at each other for a moment before I looked away to retrieve my package and walk out of there. I stopped my taxi and went home…

**JESSICA MBOUROU**

I watched this idiot walk out of the pastry shop and I only had one wish that a car would run over her where she was leaving. The way she pissed me off, no one had any idea. Everywhere, people only had his name in their mouths. The Blessed Virgin who did everything perfectly. This affair had not started today. I've known this idiot since we were little. Élodie who was my cousin, she and I were literally born and raised in this church. My uncle who had founded this church was a kind of spiritual father for my father and his. When my father married my mother, who was the pastor's little sister, they all lived together before everyone went their separate ways. She was the smallest of us three but already, she stood out from us by her way of being and doing. From early childhood, in school and in church, everyone loved him. She was the most smiling, the wisest, the most respectful, she helped people everywhere, won the best places and prizes in everything she did and above all had a voice that was out of the ordinary. My father and Élodie's spent their time telling us to be like her, it was the example and the model to follow. The more she grew, the more it increased. She had joined the cantor group before all of us when she was not even 10 years old and already she was doing solos during services and had become vocal lead. At the school itself, no one talked about it anymore, it had the favor of almost all the administrative staff and the majority of the teachers. However, she was in S and we in A1, but even our teachers cited her as a reference when it was necessary to try to have good behavior. Me, it came out of my pores. If it hadn't been for the presence of my mother who supported me and encouraged me often, I would have stopped going to church a long time ago. annoyed. Even today, I wanted to sing this song, but it was her and the idiot who served as her friend there who ended up doing it. And Mama Adèle dared to say that Sara had made progress, what progress was it?

Ethan: Do you listen when I talk to you?

Me: (coming out of my thoughts) Huh?

Ethan: I say finish your ice cream, we're moving.

Me: Alright.

I quickly finished my ice cream before getting up.

Me: Where are we going?

Ethan: In principle, we go home. Tomorrow there is class.

Me: Oh, I thought we would spend a lot more time together, it's only 7 p.m.

Ethan: (staring at me intensely) Do you have something in mind?

Me: (intimidated) I wanted you.

Ethan: (smiling) It should have been said rather. (To his buddies) See you tomorrow, I have to quickly settle something with Jess.

Rick: Alright.

He made me pass in front of him before following me. We had gotten into his car and he had driven off to park in a fairly dark and isolated place.

Me: I thought you would take me home.

Ethan: (staring at me after turning off the ignition) I already told you that no girl can come to my house.

Me: Am I like the other girls? I'm your girlfriend Ethan, do you think it's normal that I don't know your house?

Ethan: (annoyed) If you wanted us to be alone to break my balls Jess tell me already because I have better things to do. And believe me, my patience gauge is very low. Besides (putting on the contact) It's better that we each go home.

Me: (stopping him) Wait, don't get mad please, I just wanted to. Anyway, it's not important (taking off my top) Look, I'm here and I want you to make love to me like the last time.

He had turned off the ignition and smiled slightly.

Me: (smiling back) Do you want me to do something special for you?

Ethan: (removing his belt and unzipping his pants to pull out his penis) suck me.

I was in a hurry to do so. It was Ethan NDZAMBA, the most coveted boy in all of high school. He could have the girl he wanted, where, when and how he wanted. We literally threw ourselves at his feet. I had gone out of my way to get him to notice me. I had been waiting for my chance for almost three years and when he approached me two weeks ago to tell me that he liked me, I didn't have to be asked and I accepted to go. to be his girlfriend. He had left the big girls from senior year to come to me, I was very beautiful and super feminine but you shouldn't hide your face, the girls there, especially the one from senior year B were very beautiful. So I had to fight to keep it. Ethan hated being upset and grew tired of the girls he dated very quickly. I knew I wasn't the only girl he was sleeping with at the moment, but I was his official go and that was something I couldn't let go. I would certainly be the last girl who could boast of having been his girlfriend during his last year of high school because after that he had to travel.

We slept together in his car before he dropped me off in my neighborhood around 8:45 p.m. When I got home, I found my father in the living room.

Me: Hello dad.

Dad: (looking at me) Good evening. Where are you coming from?

Me: I was working with the others.

Dad: (looking at his watch) Until 9 p.m. Your little sister was at the same church meeting as you and she's been home since 5:00. What job are you talking about?

Mom: (coming to find us) Landry, how is it with the child? Barely returned that already you attack him. She is 18 years old, she is no longer a little girl.

Dad: That 18 is what age and we can't hold him accountable? You've seen the hour ? She left here at 2 p.m. for the church and she returns at 9 p.m. almost when she finished at 5 p.m. Besides, she has class tomorrow and you come to tell me that she's no longer a little girl.

Mom: She was at church, she called me at 5 p.m. to tell me that she had to stay as long as possible to improve her singing skills.

Dad: Hmm. It is very good.

They continued to talk and I went to my room. I couldn't wait for this year to end and for me to go to the final year to get my baccalaureate and get out of here, this house was already starting to get me drunk. Mom had come to find me in the bedroom to ask me how the rehearsals had gone. I had told him that in the end I had not sung any more because the person in charge of the singers had given my song to Myrna who was to sing it on Sunday. She got really upset and after talking badly about the respo and the rest of the singers, she said she was going to call her to put her in her place, I fell asleep more confident thinking back to everything I had done with Ethan in his car…

Erna: Jess is fixing things for me with Seb, isn't it?

Ingrid: and me with Eddy.

Me: It's not me, I've already talked to them about you but currently they are dating small seconds.

Erna: It's a little second who can do what to me?

Ingrid: When we talk about the wolf, they are even coming towards us.

I turned around and saw Rick, Sebastian and Eddy coming towards us. Ethan and Donnel were not with them. They had come to greet us.

Sebastian: How are you girls?

Us: Fine.

Me: Ethan isn't with you?

Eddie: No. He's not arrived yet.

Me: I see.

Sébastien: I came to tell you that this Friday there will be a party at my house, and you are all three invited.

My girlfriends smiled with all their teeth as it was unexpected. It wasn't just anyone who went to the parties that the guys there organized and as I was their friend's go it was a bit obvious that they invited me there and by extension, my two girlfriends.

Me: Alright, thanks for the invite.

Sebastian: Nothing. It will start from 9 p.m. Either way, Ethan will give you more information.

Me: Alright.

Erna: Is there a dress code?

Rick: Sexy and pretty is the watchword.

Us: Okay.

Sébastien: Okay, we're off to class, maybe we'll see each other at the break.

Us: Okay.

They had gone to their building and we had remained all excited at the idea of this party. I was already thinking mentally about what to put on when my phone in my hands notified of a new WhatsApp message. While checking, I had seen that it was a message from the cantor group where we were reminded of the retreat and fasting on Friday. I had already forgotten that. Anyway, I had no intention of fasting for anything and that was good, I would tell my father that we would have a retreat and prayer at the church on Friday so that I could go out quietly. without having to justify my trip and spend the whole night outside it could not have happened well.

-Good morning

I had turned to fall on the other bitch with his girlfriend who had just greeted us. We had looked at them without responding to the greeting. They continued on their way to their classroom. My friends also didn't like it.

Erna: The wife of Jesus and her girlfriend, the way the two girls there annoy me huh.

Ingrid: who are you telling?

Me: Really, you preach to converts.

Erna: I don't even understand why she insists with her hellos when she knows that no one will answer.

Me: This is madness, what do you think it is?

Erna: The other day she was talking with Naomie and she was telling her to stop sleeping with men because it was not good.

Ingrid: Who are the women to sleep with?

Erna: Oh no, the Bible says that it is not good to live in fornication and that God wants us to have intercourse only with our husbands and that it was important to preserve ourselves in the meantime.

Ingrid: The real bullshit huh. If God was against sex, why did he create it? Really the people of the church there are always in the abuse judging and accusing everyone. That's why I don't even listen to bullshit like that. I live my life as I see fit.

Here we are.

My friends didn't know that I was a Christian or that my father was a pastor. Besides, no one other than those who went to the same church as me knew it and they knew that they had no interest in interfering in my life. I had always tried, wherever I went, to hide this label linked to my father, I wanted to live my life like other young people and that was what I had been doing for years. My friends weren't believers either and that was good, outside my house I smoked, drank and slept with the boys since I was 14 and at home I was Pastor Landry's daughter . My two brothers and my sister more or less complied with this, but I did not. If I even went to church, as I said earlier, it was because of my mother. In any case, two more years and I will be able to live my life as I wanted, it was only a matter of time...