Chapter Three

What's going on? Wasn't he smiling just a second a go?! No... He's still smiling, what's happening??

  "Amelia you already know the answer is no''

did i really? Did I know that? No you fucking idiot i wouldn't of said a thing if I knew the answer was no!

   How could you be so naive?!

I thought we actually had a chance I thought.... No...maybe I didn't think at all, i lived way too long in my own imagination that i forgot about the reality.. whatever.... It's over now .

  " y-yeah i-i guess i knew t-that ...I just wanted you to know t-that's all" i gulped trying to ignore the lump in my throat

   "I want us to stay friends Amelia... It's better that way" he kept his smile on his face , I've never hated that smile more than now.

''Y-yeah ....I guess I'll head home then....s-see ya t-romorrow" I sprinted while I choked on my tears

I didn't want him to see this vulnerable part of me, I didn't want anyone to see that part of me so I kept running until I was out of breath and lucky for me I was right at my front door, I entered as quietly as I could.. I didn't want my parents to see me like this

  God that lump in my throat really fucking hurts ...and it wouldn't go away,

  I was in my room on my bed wearing nothing but my Mettalica sweatshirt, my face deep in my pillow ....my heart aches evey time I take a breath, the inner me has finished her third bucket of ice cream.

   Fuck....this love shit is really hard ...nobody warned me, now I'm paying the price , I can't let anyone see my weak self... My fragile and vulnerable..weak self.

   After about 5 hours mom decided to come up to my room ..she knocked and entered when i didn't answer.

    "Honey I know you're tired but at least get something to eat before you sleep!"

    She sat next to me on the bed and stroked my hair .. "Yes mom, I'll go down stairs later to get something don't worry" I reassured her with a fake smile "I'm just sleepy that's all" .

   I shouldn't have said that !

''It's because you stay up late watching anime that's why''

yup I knew that was coming , I could of told her my leg hurt for all I care and she'd say it's because of my phone ...moms..

    She kissed my forehead and wished me a good night, and with that she left.

    I went down stairs an hour later...got a glass of juice and some chocolate cookies , fuck they were good, my poor tummy had nothing to do with my heartbreak

   She's her own individual self ..I went back to my room, watched some anime...but just to get Raymond out of my mind , it had nothing to do with the new episode coming out today .

   One season later and at around 4am I decided to just go to sleep all though I knew I wouldn't be able to, he just kept running through my mind. so annoying damn it!...Will I ever recover from this?

I snuggled in my blanket mouthing a Mettalica  song to keep myself from thinking about any other stuff and surely I started dazing off into a restless sleep

     I woke up the next morning with huge bags under my eyes and puffy red clearly-were-crying eyes ... Just perfect.

   I got dressed in some light color skinnies and a light pink Addidas hoodie. What can I say, I love my hoodies.

   I was fixing my hair one last time in the mirror... Oh! Almost forgot my attitude. I put my headphones on on full volume and wore this mental fuck off sign on my forehead... Perfect.

  With that I left my house and off I went on my way wondering what was going to happen today.