Chapter 4

"Has anyone seen her?” Leyla bit her lip and put her hand on his arm. She rarely touched him, but she couldn’t seem to help offering comfort. Unlike Kitt, Leyla was selfless. She spent most of her time caring for Chip—Simon—and he could trust her to be where she was supposed to be.

He shook his head, focusing on her question. “No. But I can’t…I can’t risk any more of our people trying to find her. And just saying that feels—”

“Wrong.” Leyla sighed when he nodded. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but if it helps, she’s pretty resourceful. I doubt she even knows what’s going on. She’s probably just testing her limits again. You can deal with her when she comes home—I’ll go there and wait for her while you deal with the wilds.”

The wilds… He stared down at the blood on his hands. The blood of an innocent child killed by monsters who never should have gotten near him. And wouldn’t have if she hadn’t run off. If Kitt wasn’t his kin he couldn’t say for sure if he’d care if she was dead or alive.

But she was his kin. And he couldn’t lay all the blame on her because he hadn’t shown any of the control he should have with her. Even now, with all the death and the blood and his own failure, he could picture her, in his arms. Taste her on his lips. He could be dying himself and not forget how close he’d come to taking her. And with his last breath he’d wish he had.

A weakness he’d sworn he wouldn’t allow himself. And yet, he had. Again and Again.

Few knew how long his loyalty for Isadora had kept him away from any other. He had the body of a young man and all the needs that came with it, but none appealed to him after what he’d had with her. Kitt was the first to ever truly tempt him since. And maybe that was the issue. He’d denied himself the most simple pleasures.

She might not appeal to him so much if he found another to hold. One who was safe. Who would demand nothing.

He brought his hand to Leyla’s cheek. Her eyes widened and she whimpered as he brought his lips close to hers.

“David—”

If he closed his eyes, he could pretend she was Isadora. She had the same delicate features. The same undemanding sweetness.

But he was scaring her. He backed away. “I’m sorry. I just—”

“Don’t be, but…” She looked down at the street. “I see how you look at Kitt. I can’t replace her. She’s wild and impulsive and—”

He pressed a finger to her lips. “I can’t help how I feel about her. Sires are protective of their kin. They…it’s hard to explain, but I know it’s not real. I want a chance at something real.”

Leyla stared up at him. She glanced over at the backseat of the car. Pressed her eyes shut. “How do you know it’s not real with her?”

“It can’t be. But that’s not your problem. I shouldn’t—”

“Kiss me, David.”

He wasn’t sure he should anymore. This wasn’t fair. He had nothing to offer Leyla and she was so fragile. But at the same time what good was he to her—to anyone—while he was so confused about Kitt.

His lips pressed to Leyla’s, gently at first, then with all the passion he could manage. She let him kiss her, sighing as he pulled her close, but never pressing for more. Her kiss was soft and sweet.

Before Isadora, David had kissed many girls. Milk maids, courtiers—any girl he wanted to bed. Kissing Leyla was no different. Isadora had held his heart for so long only someone special could draw him in now. As his kin, Kitt held a place that defied reason.

Leyla brought his attention back to her with her hand on his and a shy smile on her lips. “Did that help?”

He pressed her head against his chest, fighting how wrong it felt to be holding her when he wanted another. He was still afraid for Kitt. Could still imagine taking her home with him and keeping her there where no other would ever challenge who she belonged to. Which was all kinds of messed up and he knew it.

So he lied. “Yes.”