Chapter 10

She dropped her clothes on her bed and stepped up to him. “I don’t understand—”

“Obviously! You just do what you want and don’t consider the consequences!”

“What consequences?” She covered her mouth with her hand. “Jack—?”

“We found Jack in a sewer. He’s badly burnt, but he’ll be fine.” Tears rimmed David’s eyes as he fixed them on her face. “But Tommy’s dead.”

She inhaled and fought to voice the denial, fought to get out that single word. No. If she could get it out it wouldn’t be true.

David didn’t wait for it, didn’t wait for her to absorb the full impact of what he’d said before he attacked again. “If I had known how selfish you were I would have let you die. It’s too late. Now all the lives lost because of you are on my head.” He closed his eyes and the tears spilled. “I might as well have killed him myself.”

He left her then, alone, more beaten than she’d been when she’d fallen down the stairs trying to get away from Axel, more than when her head had been smashed against the brick wall. There was nothing she could do to make this right.

She pushed the door to her room closed and leaned against it. She waited for the relief of tears, but they wouldn’t come. Fear overrode sadness. There was nothing standing between her and the horrors of the life she’d been dragged into. David was right. She was selfish. The visions plaguing her mind weren’t of Tommy—sweet, beautiful Tommy—gone forever. They were of Jack being shot down, of how easily that could have been her. Of what Alderic suggested coming true, others learning her last name and killing her for what her family had been. She remembered what Sax had said. There was already talk. People suspected.

Only two stood between her and those who would gladly see her dead if the truth ever came out. Much as she loved Jack, he couldn’t do it. David could, but he hated her.

There had to be a way to change that. If not, she’d have to take her chances with Charlie.

She shuddered at the thought. There was no way she’d turn to her father’s killer for protection. She wouldn’t trade in revenge for survival.

Candy’s blood was still on her shirt, mixed with her own. She peeled it off and let it fall to the floor. Her skirt followed. She pulled on the fresh clothes and concentrated of the feel of them on her skin. The red silk of the shirt, cool enough to numb her. The sharp pleats of the black skirt, drifting carefree around her legs. Leaving her room she went to the small bathroom, resting her hands on the sink before she forced her gaze up to her reflection.

A smudge of blood and dirt high on her cheek caught her eye. She turned on the cold water and wet her fingertips under it, then lifted her fingers to her face to wipe away the blood. A little cold water and it was as though it had never been.

Stripping out of the clothes she turned on the shower and got in. The ice water enveloped her, beat down on her until her whole body was shaking for relief. She denied it, taking her time meticulously washing her hair, scrubbing every inch of her body. By the time she left the shower she couldn’t feel her skin. Back at the mirror, she studied her face. She was pale, her lips were blue, but there was a serenity that hadn’t been there before.

Leaving her hair loose, she combed through it with her fingers, careful around the wound on her scalp. A little bit of makeup and the mask was set. She was ready.

Her first test of just how ready was Sax. The second she hit the surface, he ran up to her, dropped his skateboard, and took her in his arms.

“You’re okay.” Such relief in those two words, as though knowing she was okay made everything right.

She squirmed out of his grasp. The hands that had been on her flesh only nights before made it harder to hold onto the cold that sustained her. “Yeah. I’m fine.” She planted a stiff smile on her lips. “Have you seen David?”

“He just headed up to Spinners…” Blind to the subtle message she was sending him, Sax reached for her again. “He’s taking it rough. Tommy was a good guy.”

“Uh huh.” She sidestepped and moved past him. His ignorance didn’t concern her.

Until he caught her hand. “Kitt…”

She jerked away from him. Time to make things clear. “Don’t touch me.”

Sax stopped. She could feel the weight of his gaze on her back. He might not have quite caught on yet, but he was getting there. “What…?”

Jaw clenched she turned. Her eyes swept over him with no attempt to hide her disgust. “When were you planning on telling me Charlie was your sire?” A bitter laugh spilled past her lips. “Wait. Let me guess. You weren’t.”

The puppy dog image she’d pinned him with was gone. Maybe she’d misjudged him. Just as closed off as she was, Sax returned her glare. “I didn’t think it mattered.”

All her righteous anger lost steam. Freshly buried was a part of her that sympathized with him, that told her she was wrong to hold something he couldn’t control against him. If self-preservation hadn’t reigned over her emotions, she would have backed down. Six years of conditioning made sure that didn’t happen.

She managed to look him straight in the eye without any uncertainty slipping past her fraying seams. “Well it does.”

“Good to know.” Retrieving his skateboard from the dirt, Sax spun away from her and cut out through the trees. She was tempted to follow, but she resisted. Sax was weak. Useless.

And so was the part of her that didn’t agree.