Chapter 9

Morning came and again, I woke up with an upset stomach. I ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out. Being pregnant is like having the worst case of a hangover. I guess this why pregnant women are grumpy and hormonal. Plus, the constant need to go to the bathroom to pee...not really a good idea to consider it a great day. Unlike before, I feel weak almost every single freakin' day. Even when I had enough sleep, I still wake up feeling so tired and drained. In total honesty, I prefer actually having PMS than this. At least, PMS only lasts for days...being pregnant is for nine months and I don't think I can endure all this for nine months...not on my own. But as they say, consequences come after, and well, this most likely the outcome of having sex.

After I made my bed, I cooked myself some eggs, bacon, and some pancakes for breakfast. After cooking, I sit in the living room and turned on the TV to watch a movie or watch the news while eating. I do almost anything to entertain myself. Being alone is sometimes deafening. My condo isn't that big but just sitting there eating breakfast...alone, is not really the greatest thing to wish for. Don't get me wrong...I love being on my own just not always-not forever so to speak. Probably, most of us wish to be by ourselves when we were younger. Who wouldn't? Right? The persistent calls of your mother asking you to get up because you're late. If you have siblings, you have to endure waiting for them to finish using the bathroom until you're really late for class. Or the fact that when there is a baby or a toddler in the house, you're awakened by constant screaming or crying and sometimes even leading to sleepless nights. The fact that you can't go out of the house without actually asking for permission. The mere fact that if there are one too many people in the house, it's just chaos all throughout. But actually, when you do get by on your own, you'd wish you had your mom by your side to help out. Because when you're on your own, even when you're sick, you have to get up. When you're on your own, even when you're weak, you have to be strong. When you're on your own, you just want to crawl back into your mother's womb and stay there for god knows how long because you feel it's safer. Yes, there are days when you wish you had time for yourself but when you've lived on your own for as long as I have, you're gonna want to not move out. The world out there is already terrifying but when you brave the world on your own and you have no one else to rely on but yourself, it gets even scarier.

After eating, I washed the dishes, took a bath, and dressed up. I had prepared my favorite denim jeans to be paired up with this cute black sleeveless top that I bought about a month ago and to complete the whole look, I was going to wear my white sneakers. Since I'm pregnant now, I have to stay away from heels. I love heels but I can't really trust myself with them. I'm not really coordinated with the rest of my body at times and I don't want to risk it. I had everything set on my bed, ready to wear but at the last moment, I had to change because my jeans won't fit me...anymore! I tried out almost every pair of jeans I had in my closet and none of them would fit me anymore. God damn it! I find myself wearing a dress instead and I didn't really like wearing them so much because I'm not really your typical girl-next-door kind of gal. I don't cross my legs as other girls do. I certainly don't like shaving my legs too and don't even get me started with waxing; I repel that for all the right reasons. I don't like moving so girly...modest to be exact. That's not my style...that's not me. My dad even used to call me out 'cause I'd sit with my legs spread wide open even when I'm wearing a skirt. I guess being pregnant just has its perks.

I was on my way to the office when I remembered...I wasn't able to buy the supplies yesterday. With the whole fiasco going on, can you really blame me for forgetting?

"Stace, I'm not late, okay? I'm going to the store to buy supplies," I said over the phone while starting the car.

"Cass, you're not supposed to do that anymore...I won't allow you. You're overworking yourself again. Do you really want to risk it?" she scolded. I know she means well but she's kind of exaggerating just a little bit.

"I'm fine, Stace. Don't worry, okay?" I said, trying to assure her.

"Alright already! If anything comes up...and I mean anything, call me immediately, okay?"

"I will. Thank you and don't worry about me skipping meals. I already ate and I have some snacks in my purse in case I get hungry."

"Wow, I'm impressed," she said, sounding so surprised than condescending. Well, who would blame her? I've never been like this before.

"I guess this pregnancy thing is really growing in me...figuratively speaking of course. Well, until being pregnant takes a toll on my body. If I keep getting bigger, I might have to change my whole wardrobe so to speak."

I hear Stacey giggling over the phone. Great! At least someone's making...something out of my misery. "Glad I amuse you," I sarcastically said.

"Sorry! You just kind of reminded me of the good old days;" she continued, "unfortunately, there's nothing I or anyone else can help you with that. Getting...bigger­ is kind of a package deal. Listen, why don't you come over later after work at my place. I had my maternity clothes packed up in the storage room somewhere."

"I heard maternity clothes? Who's pregnant?" I hear a very familiar voice over the line.

"Miggy! I didn't know you were there," Stacey greeted.

"Hello to you too, Stacey," Miggy answered, irritated of some sort.

"Got to go, Ma. I have work to do," she then abruptly hangs up on me.

Well, that was...swell. I'm officially screwed.

...Miggy...

I know Stacey doesn't really like me. After all, I did hurt her best friend. She ought to be mad but I never really thought she'd be saying it to my face. I've been getting this sketchy vibe from her for the past few days and it's starting to get on my nerves.

She puts her phone inside her pocket and slowly turns to me, "maybe next time, you can try knocking." She plasters this really weird-creepy grin on her face. That's it! I'm losing it!

"I'm sorry, did I do something to you for you to hate me this much?" my voice coming a little bit squeaky as it reached the end.

"Let's get one thing straight, I don't hate you. I just don't like the fact that you're back."

My eyes squinted as I tried to understand her, "I'm gonna need a little more information than that."

"You know what I mean!" she sang. "Cassie was devastated when you left. She killed herself at work just to get over you and when she was finally over it, you came rushing back in and knocking her up-" She bit her lip as she just told me a secret.

"Knocking her up? What?"

"Well...you know-she likes you again," she stuttered.

I didn't really know what to say. She was right though. I did hurt Cassie a lot when I left.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

She shakes her head and sits down. "To her, you're not just some guy she likes, Miggy. You're not just an ex she had to cry over. You're her best friend too...her family even. It was harder for her to get over you. I just don't want you doing that again."

"I know and I won't. I promise." I sat across her.

"And how can you assure that? Will you still stay if she finally commits to her feelings for you? Will you still stay if, let's just say, she comes to you with the biggest news of her life and you're the only one she can turn to?"

"I can't guarantee that but I know that I'm not going anywhere. To tell you honestly, I think I have some feelings to commit to myself."

"And what exactly do you mean?" she crosses her arms. She squints her eyes like that of a detective trying to interrogate me. At least, that's how I feel.

"I think I've started to develop feelings for her and don't worry. I told her that and I made it clear so she won't get any ideas. I just really wanted to get it out on the open."

"Are you even sure about that?" oh wow! Is this an interrogation or what!

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't tell her. Trust me, I would never. I know more than to hurt her like that."

"Well, you don't have forever to keep her waiting. You're gonna have to figure that out sooner or later. She's not getting any younger and the last thing I want for her is to grow old waiting for you to even know for yourself;" she continued, "why don't you start...I don't know... doing things?"

"I don't know how. This all so new to me and besides, we've been friends for so long. I practically don't know how to make a move without making it feel awkward and weird." I slam my back to the backrest.

"Start small. Take her out to dinner. Go to her condo and cook her a meal. Bring her a milkshake out of the blue. Oh! She's in the store right now, getting supplies...go help her then take her out.

"Supplies? Didn't she buy them yesterday?" I suddenly got a bit curious and worried. I mean for the longest time I've known, if there is one thing she hates the most, it's shopping and groceries. She doesn't like crowded places so much. It suffocates her especially when the place gets a little too crowded. She begins to get dizzy and disoriented. That is why as much as possible, she always does her groceries on a schedule and she usually shops online.

"Um-yeah. There were-um-things that she forgot to buy so she had to go back," she said, stuttering.

"uh-huh...alright, I'll go get her," I went in my car and drove straight to the store. I didn't really have to ask Stacey. I know where she goes. She always buys there because she gets everything she needs there in one sitting. The only problem I see right now, today is Sunday so the place is going to be cramped. I better hurry before anything happens to her.

I parked my car the moment I got there. Luckily, I found a spot right next to her car. I took my phone and called her but she didn't answer so I frantically ran to find her. I can't help but feel worried. The place was really filled with people. It wasn't hard to find her though. How can you not? A beautiful girl like her, the perfect maiden. She looked so cute in her floral dress. It flaunted all her right angles. She's not skinny but she has an hourglass figure. Her dress formed around her tight ass that's well proportioned with her breasts. Her dress hangs just above her knee, showing a little bit of her porcelain legs. There was something about her get-up that made her look so adorable.

I pick up my phone and call her, "Hi, where are you?" I couldn't help but smile as I tried to hide from her.

"I'm at the store right now. I forgot some things yesterday so I had to come back and buy them." She reaches out for something on the top shelf. She stands on her toes to try and grab it, "damn it."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I am," she lets out a loud sigh. "Why do people always assume that everyone is seven feet tall?" she added.

I sneaked up behind her back, "do you need a hand?"

"Don't do that! You know I scare easy!" she shrieked.

"Sorry," I handed her the bottle of wine she was reaching out for. "expecting company?"

"No. This is for the cake. It's a red wine cake, remember? Besides, I can't drink anymore," she takes the bottle and puts it in the cart.

"Why not? this wine is like 4% alcohol? I'm sure that unless you drink the whole bottle, you're not going to get drunk with this."

She bites her lips. "Um...no. I'm trying to ban myself from drinking," she stuttered.

I take the cart from her and pushed it myself. "O-kay. if you say so. Is there anything else you need to get?"

"Actually, there is. I need chocolate bars, two big bags of flour, and parchment paper. I also need to buy icing nozzles and piping bags. Oh, I also need cocoa powder."

"Wow. That's a lot. Don't you have a supplier for that stuff?"

"Yeah. I called them a while ago but their driver quit yesterday so they're having backlogs on some deliveries and since our schedule for delivery is still by Sunday next week, we might run out of supplies. I just want to make sure."

"I see. Let's get started then. On some level, I'm glad I came. It seems you need all the help that you can get."

"Not that I'm not happy to have you here but I'm kind of wondering why though," she points to a bag of cocoa powder and I place it in the cart.

"Well, I've just been thinking that's all. Plus, I got a piece of really good advice from a friend," by this time, we were already at the chocolate and other sweets section, and knowing how much Cassie loves this stuff, she would literally go nuts.

She starts putting some chocolate bars in the cart, "Good advice huh? and what might that be?"

I pause for a while. I was hesitating on what to say actually. For the first time in my life, I've never been so nervous yet excited to say anything. I've had my fair share of relationships in the past but none of them compared to how I feel now, honestly. "Can we go grab a bite after this?"

She stops from her tracks and turns to me. She looked so happy. I couldn't help but smile at how her smile just brightened up the place. I could tell that she really wanted that.

She comes near me, kisses me on the cheek, and smiles, "thank that friend for me." She turns on her heels and continues to get the cart full.

I could feel my heart flutter in joy. I know my face just went gushing red when she said that. we continued strolling around the store to buy the things that she needed. The only thing that was missing was the bags of flour.

"Alright, where can we get the flour?" I asked her.

She didn't answer. She was walking behind me because she was checking out some stuff in the aisle. I turned to her and she was just standing there, wobbling. She was massaging her forehead like it was hurting a lot. This is what I was afraid of.

I sprinted to where she was. She collapsed and fortunately, I caught her before she stumbled to the ground. She was still conscious but she was weak. She was sweating...a lot and she was talking but it didn't make much sense. I could feel her heart beating so fast as I wrapped my hand around her wrist. People started crowding around so I called for help. The last thing we need is nosy people gathering around and not giving us some space.

"Please move away. Give them some space," I heard someone calling out. People started to back away.

"Sir, we have a clinic upstairs. We can have the resident doctor check her," the manager offered.

"Can you help me get there?" I frantically asked.

"Of course, sir;" he continued, "Make way people! there is nothing to see here."

The moment people made way, I carried her to the clinic. A nurse and a doctor greeted me by the door. They were already alerted so all I had to do was wait outside till they were done. The clinic was small and three is already a crowd so the nurse had to make me wait outside. I waited by the door for what seemed like hours - years even. I was walking in circles waiting for the doctor to finally tell me what had happened...anything...any news would be great by now. I know this is a bit of an exaggeration but if it wasn't a big deal then the doctor wouldn't take that long to check on her and I have tried to calm myself, really! I tried sitting down...standing up...play with my phone...hell, I even went back to the groceries to buy those things we picked out, and still, when I got back there was nothing - so can you blame me for being so distressed?

the nurse finally went out. Cassie was standing beside her. She looked flushed but at least she's okay.

"The doctor will be out in a minute," the nurse said while handing me Cassie's bag.

"How are you? are you okay?" I immediately asked her.

"I'm fine. You don't have to worry too much."

She plasters a smile on her face. It was the weakest smile that I have ever seen on her. Out of the two of us, she has always been the most cheerful and most energetic so this is new to me... all the more reason to worry if you ask me.

...Cassie...

The moment I saw the doctor, I knew I was screwed. Why? why did this have to happen? Miggy stood there by my side while the doctor tried to check on me with his stethoscope. I could see it in the doctor's face that he was like a detective who had just found something out. He was about to say a word so I gathered up my strength and tugged on his coat. The doctor looked to where I was tugging and then at me. I think he understood. He asked the nurse to send Miggy outside and wait.

When Miggy was far enough, the doctor asked me in a very calming and soothing voice, "the father?"

I just nod my head. What was I supposed to say? tell the doctor that I'm not sure?

"nurse, can you please check her blood pressure?"

"yes, doctor," she comes in and does what the doctor told her.

"Do you have your ob-gyn's number? we can hear from here," the doctor turns to me.

"I don't-um-I don't have a doctor yet," I said, my voice hoarse and weak. "please don't tell him yet. He can't know...not just yet."

"Well, you're not a minor so...no need to worry. what's the stat nurse?"

"her blood pressure is extremely low, doc."

"Call doctor Larson. Tell her it's immediate," the doctor turned to me again, "Young lady, you need to get your priorities straight. This isn't good for you or the baby."

I just laid there quietly. I didn't know what to say. I was too embarrassed. My baby hasn't even been born yet and I've made a couple of mistakes already. I don't know if I'm caught up to be a mom.

"doctor Larson's on the phone now doc," the nurse called out.

It took the doctor a while to come back to me. I was getting really nervous. If my mom were here, I'd be getting a good beating by now. Her first grandchild and already I'm screwing it up.

"Ma'am, would it be okay if your boyfriend fills out this form for you? Don't worry this is just an information sheet. We just need to get some of your personal information," the nurse asks. She was really a pleasant person to talk to. She has a very sweet voice and her white uniform makes her even more welcoming.

I just nodded at her. I know she just said that Miggy is my boyfriend but hey, what harm would that be? There was a thin white curtain separating my bed from the rest of the clinic so there was nothing much for me to do but lay there and wait. I heard the door sprung open and It seemed like Miggy was just standing by the door because the nurse was a bit shocked to see him there. I couldn't really hear much except whispers. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and I heard Miggy's voice again. He had probably handed her the information sheet he had filled out. I couldn't really tell what was really going on. All I could do was assume that what was going on.

I think I might have been quite tired from all the grocery shopping a while ago because I seemed to have dozed off a few minutes later. I don't know why but this place gave me the best sleep I've had in years. A bit exaggerated but I feel that way. After what felt like a century of sleep, the doctor finally woke me up.

"Your blood pressure is normal again. You should not be standing up for too long. Exhaustion must have lowered your blood pressure to an extremely dangerous level. Also, I know I shouldn't get involved but I have set an appointment for you at Doctor Larson's. It's tomorrow at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. That schedule should not interfere with your job. I'm really sorry but I am very concerned with your health as well as the baby's. Don't you worry Doctor Larson is highly recommendable so I assure you that you will be well taken care of," the doctor looked serious and truly concerned. His voice was like that of a father caring for his child.

I know he meant well so I just listened, "I will doc. Thank you so much for caring and I promise, I'll go."

"good. Here's her address. I wish you the best," he hands me a piece of paper with the address written on it.