chapter 4

I wiped the tears that flowed from my eyes and took the blanket. I wrapped it around my body and weakly walked closer to him.

"Do you love her?".

I asked with a smile, even though the truth of that was killing me little by little every second.

He stared at me blankly.

I couldn't read any emotion in his green eyes.

"Answer me".

"I want a child from her". It's a simple answer.

I laughed

I expected that, but I wanted him to answer my question.

I want to know the answer. Because if I don't really have anything to do.

"D-do you l-love her.... Is there really no hope? Am I really not Theo anymore? Are you really going to throw away everything we shared?".

I wanna give myself a clap because I said that to him.

I wiped my tears from my eyes, He just kept staring at me with no trace of any emotion.

"Yes".

With that simple answer, my world collapsed.

The tears I was trying to stop fell.

"Is there no hope?". Sobbing I asked him

He didn't answer, he just kept staring at me with no emotion.

"T-Theo... You were the first man I gave my whole being to.. You were the first man I trusted, remember that day we swore an oath?... I paused..

You promised me that we will be together in sadness and happiness, hardships and comforts.. But it's funny that I seem to be the one who fulfilled your promises...

You looked for my shortcomings in others, Yes, I'm hurt because I can't give you the child we've been dreaming of for a long time.. I'm a woman,

To both of us If you're hurt I'm hurt more...

It came to the point that I measured my womanhood because I felt that I was a worthless wife, because I simply couldn't give you a child...because of my pain in this mistress...

I endured all your pain and hurtful words and treatment but did you see that I looked for someone else? , you cheated on me face to face but I endured it, I forced myself to think that it wasn't true, I forced myself to forget it because I believed you loved me, I pretended because

I love you"

I recited a long litany as I taught him.

The pain I felt was relieved because he finally said all the pain that was stored in my chest, abundant tears continued to flow from my eyes

Aren't they tired of going out because I'm so tired?

We stared at each other for a long time until I decided to turn my back and leave him there.

I can't fight to look at him. When my knees get weak, I feel like I can't breathe.

I feel sorry for myself

I poured myself into him, there was nothing left in me.

What sin did I do to punish me with this?.

my god help me

I leaned against the door while sliding down due to weakness.

Constant sobbing can be heard in the four corners of my room.

I got up to go to the Comfort room to take a shower

I kept crying while soaping.

I was like a child who was dumbfounded by the water running through my body.

after an hour of being stunned in the comfort room, I came out wearing a cloth, my eyes were swollen from crying for a long time.

I found Theo sitting on my bed staring emotionlessly at our wedding picture.

He turned to look at me when he heard the Comfort room door open.

Why is he here?

I noticed that he was holding a brown envelope, my chest heaved when I saw it.

No. Nope

"Sign this and leave.... I don't want to see your face"

I was still a little surprised and immediately approached him to hold his arm to beg.

"Theo no no I won't agree please I will become a martyr, you can bring your wife and your child here but please don't divorce me I can't"

I cried and said. it hurt I thought it hurt when he admitted that he had a woman and got her pregnant, but it hurts even more, the fact that he is going to divorce me to build his new family.

While he was slowly killing me.

"I don't need you in my life, so better forget what happened last night and Sign this Fcking annulment and Leave". he shouted loudly while pushing me.

When he said that, he immediately turned away.

I was left lying on the floor as it could not be processed.

He really means what he said to his friend that he will divorce me, Is this what he really wants?

Well, I will give it to him, in the name of his pleasure.

I will put him first

I'm going to release you Theo

It hurts to love you

I spent a few moments in a daze, my tears stopped falling because maybe they had run out because of the non-stop flow.

But the pain burden of my chest is still not exhausted, but it will increase even more, of pain and sadness.

I stood up and went to the closet to pack.

He really wants me to disappear and be erased from his life.

He has thrown away all the happy times we spent together, just because I couldn't give him a child.

I looked at my stomach, smiling sadly.

This would have been the first home of our future child.

But because of my cervical condition, I can't give him a child, the child we've been dreaming of for a long time.

My eyes reached the brown envelope, I opened it, I was dumbfounded by the contents for a long time, until he realized himself and signed it..

You're now free Theo. I put the paper on the table. I know he'll see that, and I'm sure he'll be happy about it, while I'm dying for it.

I took all my clothes IN the closet and put them in two large suitcases.

I only have a few clothes so I didn't have too much trouble packing.

I was about to close the suitcase when I heard my cellphone ringing, I immediately went to get it.

I smiled when I read my friend's name. Aliyah, she is my best friend since elementary school so she knows me very well, she also knows what my husband is doing to hurt me.

In truth, she always advises me to leave my husband's power and leave him. But I'm the stubborn martyr because I love Theo so much.

I sarcastically laugh with that, now my dear husband is kicking me out.

I pressed the green button on the screen, and Aliyah's irritating voice immediately appeared.

"HEY GIRL DO YOU WANT TO REPLACE GOMBURZA, BECAUSE IF YES I WILL HANG YOU MYSELF". It screamed

I laughed in my mind.

But sadness immediately drew in my chest at the thought of leaving this house. A place that was a witness to Theo and I's love.

I smiled bitterly, followed by sobbing.

"Are you crying shhh soryy, go away, she'll just keep hurting your feelings". It's soothing

"Ali I don't know what to do,". I said like a child

"Shhhh hush now we're just here, let's meet outside your village and pack that too because you're leaving when you don't want it and when you want it". He said angrily at the end

"He's kicking me out, He told me that he doesn't want me in his life anymore. All my things are packed... Ali seems like I can't leave him."

"You want to tease me you stupid, let's meet outside I'll tease you"

we said goodbye to each other

before I hang up.

I closed the zipper of the suitcase and dragged it down the stairs weakly.

I arrived at the door of our house, I glanced again at the sad and dark mansion.

All our memories are here, I will miss it.

I wiped my tears and, just as I was about to hold the door lock, my husband's loud and angry screams suddenly echoed.

"Where do you think you're going"

What's wrong with him, wasn't he the one who said I ran away?

I turned to him, he was at the top of the stairs.

"Leaving" I answered him without emotion.

"And this middle of the night?"

"You don't need to know".

He was surprised by My answer, even I was also surprised by My answer.

But I just ignored it. I'm tired, I'm so tired.

It quickly approached me and was about to grab me by the arm, but I immediately moved away

I hope he will speak but I turned his back on him.

"I sign the annulment paper, you're free now, go chase your new moon, I still love you even you can't give it back the love I wanted to"

I whispered softly and I knew he was the only one who could hear, after that the tears fell I thought I was tired.

I walked away.

Again I hoped that he would follow me to stop but I was just disappointed.

I smiled bitterly.

"I am setting you free now"