Chapter 4: Nightmares

It all started when my father was alive still, I was 12 years old after everything went down between Mason's father and mine. My father was talking to me about many things about one thing stood out above it all. " Jenn you need to realize that there is only one way out of this life for us, and it's in a body bag. Stop talking about wanting out of it. It's a weakness to show to others. I raised you to be strong and sooner or later your going need to use everything you've learned to defend yourself and help your brother's. Your the smartest out of you 3 and the best shot out you guys. At some point your going to need to pull the trigger at someone and have no second thought about it. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve it will get you killed. Do you get that baby girl? I need you to be strong in case anything happens to me. I told your brother's to look after you always." Then it turns to the first life I took, it was self defense, the girl was trying to kill me, she was from a rival gang, my arm got grazed by a bullet, then I shot to kill getting hear in the middle of her forehead. I found out later her name was Samantha and she 18 with a 1 year old at home. The papers still report her as missing, she would of been 22 today. The next life I took was a guy that was my age. I father had ordered me to kill him in front of the guys father after taking me, my dad had them both tied to chairs in front of each other. My dad said since he had his son take me, I was going to take his son's life. We were 15. Both of them were never found, nor were ever looked for. The next death I relive is when I was 16. He was my ex boyfriend that decided to hit me around good the one day. I didn't hunt him down no. He tried to run as soon as I pulled out my gun so I shot him in the back, then cut the tendons in his ankles so he couldn't run again. I pulled off every single one of his finger nails. I tourtured him, then shot him to put him out of misery. They found his body in a ditch, I wanted him to be found. It was recklace I know. I could of been caught for murder. They suspected it was me that did it. They knew I was in my father's gang. But they had nothing on me at all. So they couldn't hold me. The judge wouldn't give them the arrest warrant. He told the cops no 16 year old girl could kill someone cold blood like that. I see each and every person's lives I took. When I stops it switched to Devin and I being tied up facing my parents with our mom in a chair tied up and our father on his knees like Devin and I were. Then they killed my mother and father in front of us. They all leave and one stays behind to untie Devin and I before leaving. That was his mistake, we tried to overpower him. Devin and I were trained by the best. We are both skilled fighters. But this guy was better than we were and twice the size of us combined. He shot me in the stomach and got Devin in the arm. Then left us there saying we were lucky his boss wanted us alive.

I wake up shaking and sweating from the nightmare. I see it almost every night, I see the lives of everyone I have taken. I'm only 18 and have taken over 30 people's lives. 4 of them Innocent civilians, who were in the wrong place wrong time and saw things they shouldn't of. If I would of let them go. I would be serving life in prison. Mason was right, it's easier to stop keeping track. It destroys you. I get out of the bed quietly so I don't wake up Mason and walk out of the door. I head downstairs needing a drink so I head to the kitchen. There is a dim light on and I see Kevin sitting at the table as I walk in.

"What are you doing up lil' killer?" I turn to him from searching the cabinets, "I had a nightmare, I need a drink. A strong one, where do you guys keep the hard liquor?" He stand up and walks over to me handing me a pill bottle. "When ever you have a hard time sleeping take these. They will help. I know what your going through with nightmares. I see them every night from when I was in the military. ". I'm stunned I didn't think he would be in the military.

"You were in the military?" I ask as he pulls us out some cups and puts ice in them, before pouring whiskey into the glasses. Kevin passes me one and takes a gulp of his "Ya I enlisted when I was 18 went over seas for 8 months. Never reenlisted again. I went to high school with Mason that's how we met. When I got home Mason offered me a place in his gang so I took it." Kevin stands up and downs the rest of his drink. "I'm heading to bed, see you tomorrow at some point lil' killer."

He starts walking away from me when I snap "Stop calling me killer! I hate that name!" I hear him laugh as the door shuts behind him. I swallow two of the pills he gave me and use my whiskey to wash them down. I pour myself another three shots, after downing them, I head back upstairs. I walk into mine and Mason's bedroom and climb back into bed with him. I instantly feel arms wrap around me pulling me close. " You were gone a while everything ok princess?" I nod my head yes "Ya everything is fine Mase, woke up from nightmares so I had a drink with Kevin and then a few shots after he went to bed. "

Mason's body tensed at hearing Kevin's name. "Why were you drinking with him? You should of woke me up." Jealousy is written all over his face. " Awe is my lil Mason jealous. I didn't want to wake you up though and I didn't mean to run into Kevin he was kitchen when I went in there. He gave me pills for my nightmares, he told me how he gets them cause of his time over seas." Mason turns me over so I'm looking at him. "Wake me up next time ok?" I slowly nod my head at him and he leans in and places a soft kiss on my lips. I instantly kiss him back wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulls back and kisses me on the forehead "Go to back to sleep Princess, we got a busy day when you wake up." I just nod my head and rest my head on Mason's shoulder, after a few seconds sleep takes over.

Several hours later I wake up to people talking in the room "It sure didn't take them long to get close together again huh? I thought it would of been at least a week or longer before we walked in on them cuddling." I hear someone say as I slowly sit up I see Mike, Kevin and Jason standing in the door way. "What the hell! Get out I was sleeping!" I yell at them and feel Mason stir beside me "Princess get up and get ready were going to the tattoo parlor. We're leaving in 30 minutes."

I look at him and laugh "Your funny if you think I can get ready in the short amount of time. I need at least an hour and that's still pushing it! Also I have an appointment at my tattoo place to finish my back piece today and I'm not missing it! I can get him to put Saints on my collar bone there when I'm getting that done. I will also get him to cover up my Queen tattoo on a later date but will set it up today cause I have to figure out what I want put there still. " Mason looks at me out of the corner of his eye and glares. "Whatever, do it that way, you still gotta get rid of the 905 piece on your neck though." I glare right back at him "I don't want to get rid of it. I'm getting your piece that should be enough for you. Getting rid of my 905 piece will ruin my whole neck piece!" I say through gritted teeth. He glares at me for a moment before responding. "Fine whatever, keep it then but your still getting rid of that Queen tattoo, I won't be having my girl have a matching tattoo with another guy. And your still getting my gang tattoo. Whiles we are on about tattoos, what's with the Lock 7 piece on your hip I forgot to ask you last night." Oh shit! I can't believe I let him see that tattoo. No body is suppose to know that I'm a part of that gang as well. I'm not just a part of it I'm the gang leader of it. "Its nothing just a tattoo Mason." I quickly lie to him and he can tell.

"We will talk about this later on Jenn, and you better not lie to me again about it." He tells me and then turns to the guys"What did you guys want that couldn't wait till I got up?"  Jason clears his throat and steps forward. "We found Kyle. Have him tied up and gagged in the van, what do you want us do with him?" Mason jumps out of bed right away "Why the fuck didn't you tell me right away?! Jenn when you go to the tattoo place take Mike with you, you're not going alone. Come on boys let's go finish this shit." Mason grabs a pair of pants from his dresser and slips them on before throwing a wife beater shirt on as well.

I sit up in bed and look at Mason "Wait! What Kyle? The kyle that is Josh's best friend? Mike's girlfriends brother. You know the one that we grew up with Mase! That Kyle?!" Mason looks over at me and sighs "Ya that Kyle. He owes me a lot of money. Keep your mouth shut about this Jenn. I don't need your brother's getting pissy with me over this. " He goes to walk out of the door but I stop him. "Don't you walk away from me Mason! I don't care he owes you money! We grew up with him for fuck sakes! Don't you dare kill him! And another thing, how the hell did they know we used to be close together. Cause I sure as hell don't remember them! " I yell as I point to Jason and Kevin.

Kevin puts up his hands "hey don't turn this on me. I did nothing and he told us when he bought you." I feel daggers being shot at me so I turn my head and glare back at Mason. If it was possible I would be 6ft under by the stare he is giving me. Mason walks over to me and grabs me by the throat. "Keep your fucking mouth shut and learn to fucking respect me! I am going to kill Kyle, cause he has crossed me to many times. And don't you dare bring up killing people you grew up with. Just last night you were saying how you are going to hunt down Josh and kill him." He lets me go and slaps me. "Don't disrespect me again Jenn, now get up and get ready, you and Mike are going to your tattoo appointment. " I jump up and push him "I don't fucking need a baby sitter especially from someone younger than me. "

Mason swings around and pushes me into the bedroom wall and pins me there. He leans close to my ear and whispers "Stop pushing me Jenn, I will hurt you and I don't want that. Just do as I say it's for your own protection." He takes a step back but doesn't let me go so I head but him in the face. I get rewarded with a punch to the face. Rebreaking my nose. "You bastard! You rebroke my nose!" He doesn't say anything just walks out of the room followed by Kevin and Jason.

Mike walks up to me and hands me a tissue. "You ok? Want me to set that for you?" I take the tissue and hold it to my bleeding nose. "I'm fine and ya sure thanks." I sit on the bed with Mike in front of me standing up. He straightens it out setting it back into place before taping it. "You have to stop pushing him Jenn. He may have feeling for you but he won't put up with it. Don't get mad at him over the Kyle thing ok? Kyle does deserve it. " I look up at him stunned. "Kyle is your girlfriend's brother. What will you tell her when she comes crying to you that he is missing huh? You just gonna lie to her about it? Things like this eventually come to light. She might not know about Kyle's involvement in the gang but the cops sure do. They won't look for him long and you know it. They will just tell his family that what happens to gang members they disappear all the time and that he is probably dead." I get up off of the bed and head to my suit cases to pull out my clothes for the day and walk to the bathroom to change and wipe the blood off my face. As well as put on make up to hide some of the bruising on it When I walk out of the bathroom Mike is sitting on the bed waiting for me. "Come on let's go. I want to be out of the house before they start torturing him" I watch him as he gets off the bed and starts to walk out of the room with his head down. "Mike you know you don't have to hide what you feel about this kyle situation from me right. I don't like it either. I grew up with the guy. He is a good guy" Just then we hear an ear piercing scream coming from down stairs that was obviously from a guy followed by a girl's scream. At that I see Mike run out of the room. I quickly follow after him and see Jessica at the bottom of the stairs looking at Kyle that is tied up and bleeding from a gun shot in his arm. They must of used a gun with a silencer because I didn't hear a gun shot.

Jessica is crying loudly as Mike wraps his arms around her and tries to take her to a different room but she doesn't budge. "Mike what's going on? Why is my brother tied up and bleeding? He needs to go the hospital. He needs medical attention!" She cries as Mike tries to console her. "Baby let's get out of here, you don't need to see this." She pushes Mike away from her and she runs to Kyle. At least tries to but Jason grabs her arm before she can get to her brother and ties her hands together before pushing her onto the couch. I run down the stairs and push him away from her. "Mason stop this. She is innocent to all of this! She doesn't know about our world, let her go please! " Mason turns towards me with a gun in hand.

"You know I can't Jenn, she has seen to much. I can't let her go, she will run straight to the cops. And I can't have that, everyone here is on the cops radar, including you! You know better than anyone that letting her go would be bad for us! Or are you forgetting about the innocent people, you yourself killed because they saw things they shouldn't!" I understand where he is coming from. I know he can't let her go. If he did the cops would have a field day. Ya I have some cops in my pocket but they wouldn't be able to get us off on this type of shit. I'm also shocked, no body but alive knew I took innocent lives.

I look down at my feet "How did you know that? Nobody in my brother gang knows that! No one alive did, at least that's what I thought!" Mason walks up to me and whispers "I have my sources like you do. I know alot of things princess when are you going to learn that." Out of the corner of my eye I see Mike walk up to Jessica and wrap his arms around her "It's going to be ok Jess. Mason please let her go, I will talk to her, she won't say anything." Mason walks up to him and places a hand on his shoulder. "I can't let her go Mike you know that. If she goes free, we all go down for this and I'm not going to let that happen. Go upstairs and stay there until someone comes and gets you or leave the house."

Mike storms out of the house without a backward glance and slams the door. Kyle stares as sometime before speaking up "What's he paying you to be here Killer? Josh told me what went down between you two last night when he called me to over to help stitch himself up. Let my sister go please, she has nothing to do with this shit." It's my turn to laugh at him "He isn't paying me shit, and ya she has nothing to do with this, but here being here will make you speak the truth."

Everyone stares wide eyed at me, try have all tortured before, but I know Mason he would never torture a female. I would though. I turn and face Mason "What do you want to get out of him Mase? I will get it out of him" Mason walks over and grabs my wrist "We don't hurt females Jenn. He needs to tell me the location of money that he was suppose to drop us but never did. Said he buried it somewhere but won't fess up where."

I smile slightly at him "Hun I'm not like you, I do hurt females, and I can get him to talk real quick. I need a gun, a knife, a baseball bat, oh and the fire poker, make sure it's burning orange before giving that to me though." I take step closer to Mason and lower my voice so only he hears "I want 2 different knives one dull and one sharp, the dull one still has to still be able to break skin but not hurt badly just scratch and 2 guns one loaded with blanks the other real bullets make sure they are different colours so I can tell the difference easily." He steps backs and nods and a few minutes later comes back with all the stuff I needed. "The silver one is the one with the blanks and the green knife is the dull one princess." He says quietly in my ear so only I can hear him.

I walk over to a terrified Jessica and grab one of the plastic chairs and tie her down to it in front of her brother. Kyle beings to tug on his restraints but can get anywhere. "Don't touch her Jenn please! Remember how you felt helpless when you and Devin were tied up in front of your parents as they got killed. Don't do the same to my sister!"

Once he brings up my parents I pick up the bat and hit his sister's left knee and she cries out instantly. "Don't bring up my parents unless you want it want it worst for your sister!" I wasn't planning on hitting her at all with the bat originally but I lost my temper at him bringing up that. I pick up the silver gun with blanks and tuck in he front of pants so it's visible and pick up the dull green knife in my hand. As well as the other gun in the back of my pants and the knife in my belt loop. I hold the green knife up to Jessica's cheek and she cries even more loud. "So where is the money Kyle? This can be done the easy way or the hard way. You know how I like the hard way, it's so much more fun." I  move the knife down Jessica's cheek making it bleed a little as she continues to cry.

"I can't tell you Jenn, if I do someone else will go and kill the rest of my family. Please stop, don't do this to her just kill me!" Kyle screams as he begs me to stop. I walk over to Kyle and bend down so we are face to face and put my hand on his knee "You know I can only stop over you tell me Kyle, so just tell me. I promise I will keep your sister and the rest of your family safe. I will move them to the safe house I have in the Untied States and they will be watched. You could even live with them if Paul let's you leave or if Mason will let you live here. Just tell me where the money is and who that is threatening you." He blinks for a few seconds before stuttering out "They know about all your safe houses! They know all about you. I can't tell you, I'm sorry. And if I told you who they were, you wouldn't believe me. Neither would Mason." I take a step back and pull the gun out of the front of my pants and hold it up to Jessica's head. "No one knows about those safe houses not even Paul or Devin. The only person who knew about them is dead. Now tell me where the cash is and who knows about me before I put a bullet in your sisters head in front of you."

Kyle looks between Jessica and me before locking his eyes on me. "I would rather lose a sister than my son and daughter. Plus I know you. Ya you have killed innocents before but you never once put a bullet in someone younger than you before. You won't kill her at most you will cut her up but you won't seriously injure her enough to kill her, you don't have it in you. Like I said before you wouldn't believe me if I told you who threatened me about the money. Besides I don't even have it anymore, they do. They made me give it to them. Their a whole lot scarier than you ever will be." Mason pushes me back and pulls the fire poker from the fire poker and puts it against Kyle's stomach and moves it lower. As he cries out in pain and buckles over. Mason lowers himself so they are at the same level. "Who did you give the money to Kyle? Tell me before I go get your wife and children and kill them in front of you, but not before some of my men here rape your wife in front of you." Kyle straightens up and laughs. "Go ahead and try, their protected by Jenn's brother's plus the people who I gave the money to told me they would keep an eye on them just in case you killed me. If you want to know so badly fine I'll tell you even though you won't believe me." Kyle pauses for a moment to spit blood from his mouth before he continues. "It's your dad Mason and your dad as well Jenn. Their not dead." Kyle spits out and grins widely.