Chapter 4

Ryan reached the door and paused. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door and waited.

"Come in! His mother's clear and firm voice said out, and it gave him goosebumps. Even as a child, he slightly trembled whenever he was in the presence of his mother.

His mother wasn't the kind, caring woman who cared about the welfare of her children.

She was the brash businesswoman who had no heart or showed sympathy and always got what she wanted....well almost always anyway.

"Can you hear that? She said as Ryan paused in his tracks and listened. But all he could hear was still silence, the whole study was quiet as hell. Was this a trick question, he mused?

"Cat got your tongue? His mother asked as he replied

"No mother, I cannot hear anything. The whole place is calm. Ryan said slowly. He knew that reproach was fast coming from his mother.

"Impossible, that can't be. Try again, surely you hear this now? His mother said using her hand to cover her ears slightly.

He listened once more and after a few minutes, he couldn't hear anything. Was there a secret sound that he couldn't hear or what? Were his ears bad? He asked himself.

"No mother, I cannot hear anything at all. The whole house is quiet. He said once more.

"Exactly, my point. The whole damned house is fucking empty. Do you know what it is supposed to be filled with? She asked standing up, as she pulled a stick of cigarettes from her pocket.

"No mother, I am afraid that I have no idea what you are talking about. What is it supposed to be filled with? Ryan said.

"CHILDREN! LITTLE GODFORSAKEN CHILDREN WITH THEIR PITTER-PATTER FEET AND THEIR LITTLE SECRETS. His mother yelled, throwing him off course for a few moments, as she raised her hands and threw them about.

For an old woman, his mother was probably the most active woman he had ever seen. Damn, that woman was loud, and he was three feet away from her, yet he could still wince.

"Oh, I see mother. Well, I am making plans.

"Don't you dare give me that same bullshit of making plans? For five good years, you have been making plans, and I haven't seen you with any fucking girl. His mother yelled as she puffed the smoke out at the same time.

This wasn't Ryan’s mother, hell he never had a mother, just a military sergeant dressed in nightwear.

"I have been trying, mother. But things haven't been going according to plans. I have someone in mind already but he...she is not aware yet. Mother, I am trying my best, please give me some time. Ryan said, trying to pacify her.

"I don't care or give a fucking damn if you have to buy her a whole island or take her to the freaking moon before she agrees to marry you. I want her in my house before the year ends. The only reason that I haven't found a girl for you, is because you are an adult and I thought that you were finally mature enough to pick a girl, but you are still the same timid boy, who was stuck between wearing his sister's nightgown or wearing his own. The mother said, opening a fresh wound.

"Mother, please. Stop. Ryan said, clenching his fists tightly.

"You are now giving me a headache. Now leave my sight. I will deal with you later, you may leave. In my calendar here, you have a meeting that starts in exactly 45 minutes. I suggest you leave this instantly. The mother said as she faced the window.

Just then there was a knock on the door as a maid's voice timidly said.

"Young Master Ryan. Sir Pedro sent me up here to bring you a cup of coffee.

"Keep the blasted coffee away, my son is leaving this instant. My mother said without giving me a backwards glance.

Ryan slowly walked out of the room as the maid curtsied in front of me, and he nodded and waved her away.

She walked away carrying the tray away as he made his way back to the hallway.

Ryan saw Pedro giving orders to the gardeners. Probably something about the flowers, he supposed.

He glanced up and looked at Ryan.

"Ah, Ryan, you are out already? I had thought that it was going to be a very long meeting. Are you having breakfast? What do you want to eat? Pedro asked as I came closer.

"Nothing. I am leaving. Look after my mother for me. Ryan said as he climbed down the stairs and walked to the car.

"PEDRO! He heard the madam of the house scream his name from the study and he immediately dashed in. It was terrible whenever she was in a bad mood. Sometimes he wondered how her husband had managed to live with her all these years.

Ryan entered his car and immediately started banging on his steering wheel as he tried to control his pain and anger. His mother had said some painful things to him, just because he hadn't been able to get a girl. It is not because he couldn't get one. Women run after him like bees after honey. The only reason he didn't want a girl is that he was attracted to a guy. And he had someone in mind, someone who always made him happy although he didn't know it.

Yes, he was gay. And nobody knew his secret. Being with a woman didn't arouse him at all, and he had to learn that the hard way. He actually had a girlfriend, he wasn't originally gay but all of a sudden he noticed he wasn't interested in women anymore.

His mother would never understand him, she was going to disown him, faster than he could even imagine.