Chapter-24 Should I go?

Other side Kabeer's condition was no less than hers. He was also sulking and feeling lost. It was not at all easy for him to go and live without her even for a day, forget about a week. He told her to pack his bag, but now feeling so restless. His heart was missing whenever he thought about leaving her behind. He was not only tensed for himself but about her too. She had to live all alone for a week and this was the thought that made him more unsettled and restless.

He didn't know how she would react to this. He could sense her sadness on the phone but now that seemed not enough. He was tense, sad, restless and in a deep grief as he knew his responsibilities too. And he knew that he had to go. He had gone for numerous trips earlier too but now the thought only gives him chills.

He couldn't see her beautiful face, couldn't see her magical smile for a whole one week and couldn't hold her hand while sleeping, everything about her, her Cooking, her endless talks, her caring, everything he had already started missing. He couldn't help himself as he had to go but worried about her too. She had to live alone and a tension of her safety and well-being was now eating him. He just didn't understand what to do, and in this kind of situation only one person was there who could help him, and he quickly dialed a number to talk with him.

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"Muskaan, you are sure that you can manage alone, can't you? I think you should go to your uncle's house for some days, don't worry about grandpa. I will talk to him." He was taking her leave and perhaps asked this to her nth times. And like earlier she too assured him once more smiling, "Don't worry, I am fine and will live in our home only."

Kabeer had called grandpa from the office, and ended up getting his scolding. Grandpa was very angry with him and scolded him a lot. He was not at all in favor of leaving her alone at home, but even in this situation not once he approved of her trip to her maternal house. Kabeer tried to calm him down but all went useless. And for the first time Kabeer got more restless after talking to his grandpa. But like a bliss, he had enough distraction to control himself and he was already in a habit of forgetting himself at work. Though he was not feeling this enough but somehow composed himself and drowned in work. and reached home before 45 minutes of leaving. But when he entered the house, one surprise or a shock was waiting for him.

In office, he was imagining Muskaan sad and gloomy and prepared himself to console her and to make her understand. He was fantasizing her to come in his arms running and cry her heart out. He had already imagined all the emotional lines and talks that Muskaan may say to him and even prepared answers too. He was daydreaming to squeeze her in his arms before taking a teary leave. But much to his surprise, he found nothing like this. She was behaving normally, talking normally and in fact when he inquired about his belongings, she had told him that she had already packed his things and even some extra clothes for some emergency.

Seeing her smiling and normal, a part of her heart got very disappointed. He thought he couldn't help, "she is all normal, but why? Why is she all fine? Won't she feel bad without me? Won't she miss me." Though, just a thought and he felt himself drowning in a pool of restlessness.

Now he wanted to know her feelings more than ever. He was thinking about this only when another part of his heart cursed him and so wanted to kick his ass. Cursing himself more and more he again thought," Kabeer, are you nuts? Will you be happy if she will cry? You want to see her sad? See her eyes, it's clear that she was crying all the time, and you want to make her cry once again. Are you a sadist?"

The war of thoughts was on its peak, but her innocence and sweet smile didn't let him think something bad or indecent about her and he finally jerked every thought and decided to concentrate on whatever he had before him right now. And during a quick snack and coffee and some preparations of his departure, just to try to ensure her wellbeing he ends up asking the same question numerous times and she gives an assuring reply every time. But something was there unsettling him and somehow, he was not only feeling restless but not convinced with her replies.

Lastly, he thought something and again said softly," Muskaan, if you don't want to go there, it's ok. But please don't stay alone. Call your friend or Nandini or let me tell Sanjay. He will send Nidhi to company you. Whatever you prefer."

Muskaan was again about to reply to her previous answer but he suddenly held her hands and said," Muskaan, it's good that you are not scared of living alone, but I am. I am scared of leaving you alone. I can't go like this. Please honey, for my sake."

His hold, the concern and care, it was getting too much for her to control now, but somehow controlling the tears, lowering her eyes and biting her lips mercilessly she nodded a yes, but really unable to say anything.

He felt a knot in his heart, when he suddenly felt her gloominess and cupped her face the next moment while saying," Muskaan, look at me." He almost commanded her.

With utmost difficulty, she slowly lifted her shivering and now misty eyelashes and some manner less tears spilled even after a thousand barriers and controls.

" Oh, she is crying. It means my leaving is affecting her. Means I mean to her. Means she definitely has some feelings for me." one part of his heart danced mentally on his victory.

"Shit, She is sad, She is crying. God, I made her cry. Oh no, I am such a useless creature.", Again a war began and the second part of his heart started cursing him already.

"Ahh, I must be mad. My Muskaan is sad, she is crying and here I am making all kinds of speculations. I seriously need some help." he thought and gently wiped her tears.

Though he thought about this scenario for a thousand times in office but suddenly forgot all the rehearsed lines, her tears could make him forget everything else and he somehow managed to say, "please, don't cry Muskaan. Please don't do this. I can't go like this."

Muskaan quickly controlled herself again and said with a gloomy smile, " I am fine, don't worry. It's just, I never stay alone. But don't worry, I will call Nandini or Kamya to stay with me."

He was about to say something when Radhe came to inform him that the driver had arrived and time to leave was here. He nodded a yes to Radhe and told him to take the bag, while he came in 5 mins. After Radhe left with the bag and he again looked at Muskaan, she was also looking at him only. Both felt a knot in their hearts and he lifted his one hand slowly and said cupping her face, " take care of yourself. And call Nandini or Kamya. And remember I am just a call away if you need anything."

She nodded and slowly kept her hand on his hand on her face and replied, "yes. You too take care of yourself and give me a call once you reach there."

" Muskaan, shouldn't I go?" He asked slowly, God knows what, wanted to listen in answer, but somewhere this question soaked her soul with an unknown but unaltered pleasure.

She now replied sweetly, "you should go. Don't worry about anything else."

Though it was not exactly that he wanted to listen, something was definitely there that made him smile and he quickly left bidding goodbye and promised to call.