Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Wipe

"So how did it go? Did you find him? What did you two do? Are you dating now?" Nayeon flooded you with question as soon as her butt touched the seat of her chair.

You were staring at the window earlier when Nayeon hasn't arrived and now that she's here, you can't have your peace anymore, you know she'll only bug you if you don't give her definite answer.

"Yes, I found him yesterday and no, we're not dating." You said.

"That's disappointing." She said as she pout, but it was quickly wiped from her face when it instantly light up.

"So what did you talk about? And why did you wanted to see him yesterday? You like him, don't you?" She said, snickering by herself like she caught you red-handedly.

"I wanted to ask him if he knows this particular person." You said and put your head on your desk to avoid more questions from her.

Nayeon had been asking you to go to the cafeteria with her for the break time but you chose to ignore her and just stare at the window. If you really want to avoid him, you must not go to the places where you saw him. You have to avoid him at all cost even if it means starving yourself.

What he made you feel scared you at first sight but now, his whole being scared you. You didn't want anybody to find out what happened to your sister. You didn't want to repeat the experience you had on your school last year. You won't let that happen again because this is your only chance to live in peace, to be in peace.

Your mind wondered on the flowers being sent to your sister. If Kim Taehyung visited your sister the last time you saw him getting out of the charnel house then there's a possibility that he really is the flower boy that keeps sending your sister bouquets. But he didn't gave her flowers that time, then does that mean that it wasn't him?

Who is Flower Boy? Or is it a Flower Girl?

Every thoughts about your sister only leads to him and you still can't get over the fact that he was your sister's boyfriend. Who knew Kara had a lover from the other side of the city?

It annoys you everytime your thoughts end up to him. If you wanted to avoid him then you should stop wondering about him and his connection to your sister because that might get you in trouble.

Avoiding him went on for weeks until you visited your sister. You bought her favorite purple lilies on the way here after school, there's no bouquet of white roses again. The one who keeps on sending her bouquet of white roses must have not yet visited her since the last time, huh?

You stared at her picture again that stood beside the urn. Her smile is still so bright and her face was full of life here, it's like she was never dead.

"I'm sorry I only got to visit you now, Kara. A lot of things are bugging me, especially about Kim Taehyung. You know him, don't you?" You said, smiling sadly at her picture.

"He's your boyfriend. Why didn't you tell me?" You asked, your voice almost breaking as you feel your tears welling up again.

"I'm so scared Kara. I'm afraid that it might happen again." You sniff as the tears roll down your cheeks.

"I bet you love him so much but Kara, can you tell your boyfriend not to tell anyone about the truth? About me?" You asked.

It's funny, you're the one who's alive and yet, you don't want anybody to know who you are. You just want to be invisible.

"And don't let our paths cross again." You said like it was your hopeful wish. After that, you let the silence grow.

You stood there in silence, in peace as you stare at your sister's picture. Then someone stood beside you. You looked at that someone and you saw Kim Taehyung looking at your sister's picture.

He was wearing his black shirt and black tight jeans. There were some silver chains around his wrist and he wore a silver necklace too. He stood there in silence, like he wanted to feel the peace your sister is feeling.

You almost took a step back. You should avoid him but he had the rights to visit her since he couldn't go to her funeral then. So you'll give him this as an exchange for not having to visit your sister's wake or burial then.

You decided to look at your sister again when he moved and put the bouquet of white roses beside your purple lilies. You gasp as you look at him.

It was him? He's the flower boy?

"You're the one that brings her white roses?" You asked in disbelief. Your eyes wide as you look at him.

"Yeah, but I always wonder why it would always disappear days after." He said, not taking his eyes off your sister's picture.

Your eyes softened. You look back at your sister and stared at her smiling face again.

"It's because she doesn't like white roses." You said in between the silence.

"But she'd always accept these everytime I give her."

You were just both staring at your twin's picture, not bothering to look at each other but still talking. And somehow that made you feel at ease, more comfortable. Like someone is just there beside you and you're not alone this time.

"She doesn't know how to decline it, to tell you that she likes purple lilies and she'd accept it anyway because someone precious to her loves it more than anyone else in this world." You thought of the time where she went home with white roses for the first time and gave you a stem of it.

She always does that, she'd always give you a piece of he's bouquet for her.

As you look at her picture, you saw your reflection from the glass cover of her locker. You saw your face the same as hers but with different aura. Hers seems to be always lively and bright while yours seems to be under the blanket of sorrow.

Its like seeing her again and it hurts you. You saw the reflection of the man standing beside you and he looks solemn as he look at your sister's picture. You can see the respect and longing in his eyes.

"Doesn't it hurt you? Doesn't it hurt seeing me? Me and Kara had the same face, I must be reminding you of her. Because I even remind myself of her. It hurts me whenever I see my face." In the middle of asking him your voice breaks.

There you go again being weak. Giving in to sadness and soon you found yourself crying. Everything about her is just your weakness, and everytime the guilt would creep in your chest you can't help but cry.

"No. In a way, you're different. You're far different from Kara." He says, like he's so sure of it. Like he knows you both, like he memorized every part of your sister and he knows her by soul that's why he can tell your difference.

"Because Kara is stronger. She wouldn't cry in front of anyone. She would only smile and tell everyone that it's okay." He continued.

And you couldn't agree more. If it was in another time, another moment, if your sister was still alive, you'd hate that he compared you to your sister but this was dead Kara you're talking about. You couldn't get angry at your twin sister that you killed.

You heard yourself sob and in your mind, you're blaming yourself again. Over and over again, it goes on repeat and you feel yourself being eaten up by guilt. Its like a cage you can't escape from. Its like a chain that will forever be bound to you.

"Stop crying, no one will wipe your tears for you." He says before he turn his back on you and leave the charnel house in silence.

You froze on your spot, your tears were still rolling down your cheek but your crying stopped. You didn't expect him to say anything about your crying but he did. And somehow those harsh words became a little too comforting to you.

He was the first one to ever tell you to stop crying. It may seem like he doesn't care at all but what he said made a big impact to you. And suddenly, you wonder if he ever cried after finding out about your sister's death.

But everyone keeps telling you that this boy doesn't cry. Or does he? Nayeon said he did once, maybe that one time really hurt him and made a hole in his heart.

Your sister's death surely made an impact to him, even just a bit. Because everyone else felt it, the lost. It would be impossible if it didn't affected him. He wouldn't visit your sister in the first place, if it didn't affected him.

"Why did Kim Taehyung cry?" You asked Nayeon one random afternoon when you can't contain your curiousity anymore.

"Hmm?" She hummed.

"You said he cried once, why did he cried?" You asked her while she continued writing on her notes.

She shrugged. "Nobody knows. Its just that he was seen at the Seoul National University Hospital. Everyone just thought something bad must've happened to his family that time."

You froze on your seat when you heard what Nayeon said. "S-seoul National University Hospital? When did that happen?" You asked.

"Around last year? Maybe September last year? I don't know, I don't remember exactly." She said then she goes on to do her business.

September. The same month your sister died. You stood up from your seat and you started running. You run towards the only place where you hope you can find him.

You barge in the metal door of the rooftop. It made a banging sound, then the heat of sunlight welcomed you. Your eyes squints as you tried to look for that boy.

And you saw him sitting at the edge of the rooftop, one foot stretched straight and one knee bent so that he can rest his arm on top of it. He gave you a glance before looking back at the endless view of the city.

"You went to Seoul National University Hospital last year around September. Why?" You asked directly after stopping a few steps from him.

He looked up at you, eyes squinting as he battled with the sunlight. But he doesn't answer, he looks back at the cliff of the rooftop.

"My sister died last September and was sent to that hospital." You said, inhaling deeply as you feel your voice about to shake again.

You remember that tragic night which you wanted so badly to forget. But confronting Taehyung about this is like reopening the deep wound you tried so hard to heal for so long, it had not been completely healed yet it's being reopened again.

You took a step back when he stood up from his seat and put his hands inside his pockets. You two stood there almost at the edge of the rooftop and under the heat of the afternoon sun. He looked at you, sharp.

"I told you I was there. I was there when she died. I even called on the phone to check up on her but it happened." He said.