CHAPTER 6

On this particular Tuesday, I couldn’t go to work. I just couldn’t. Why? It was Brian’s 29th birthday, and he wasn’t alive to celebrate it so I called in sick at work. I wasn’t going to concentrate, I knew that.

Getting up from bed was one of the hardest things I had to do. I felt glued to it. I didn’t even want to get up, but I had to, I had to do it for him.

The first thing I thought of was alcohol as I walked into the kitchen and opened my fridge. Then it dawned on me, I hadn’t taken alcohol for a week. I didn’t take it after the “talk” with Anna in the restroom; I didn’t take it after getting myself drunk after the “talk” with Anna rather.

I looked at the fridge in awe. I had 10 bottles of vodka lying there. I snorted. These should have finished by now, I should have been restocking.

So his words rubbed off on me. I thought with a smile, closed the fridge, and walked to the sitting room, picking up my phone. I got an email from Lisa. She sent her itinerary of how she organized the event last year and that was when I realized that a week had passed and I hadn’t started planning how the event was going to be

I went through the list earnestly. It read,

Congratulations my love, you deserve to handle this event. I heard that Boss chose a mini bar or restaurant which is cool! Anyways, I know you’re new to this, so, here are a few things you should know to get started:

First, the owner has to agree on participating in the event else every other thing mentioned below would be futile.

Second, you are going to need assistance. Thankfully, you have me and Frank *wink wink* to help with that. You are obviously going to manage the social media account created for the chosen bar or restaurant so I will take it upon myself to help with writing the articles and Frank would help with making videos that day. I’m sure the owner has workers as well so all hands are going to be on deck. You have enough assistance, my love, don’t you worry.

Last but not least, you are going to reach out to other companies, bars, or restaurants that would contribute to the event. Thankfully, Media Maven is widely recognized so getting assistance isn’t all that hard. Getting one company is enough even. However, I would advise that you go to a bar or restaurant for obvious reasons.

These are the basics, if you need any help, do not hesitate to contact me. Good luck!

I smiled after reading it and replied the email extending my appreciation.

I looked at the time, 9 am. I had time. I made a mental note to leave for the bar at 5 pm. I also recalled that I still had his handkerchief with me so I made a mental note to take it along as well.

I sank into the sofa and stared at the ceiling. I could feel my thoughts creeping in as I recalled Brian’s last birthday.

***

He decided to celebrate the day with me. Martha was livid about it but he didn’t care. He spent the day with me. Anna was there as well. I decorated my apartment with balloons, for the birthday mood. I also got him a cake and numerous gifts which I arranged around the cake.

He wasn’t expecting the decorations when he walked in with Anna who started making a video as soon as they entered the sitting room.

He tried to hide his shock but I caught it immediately. As he walked closer to the cake, he saw his gifts and shrieked dramatically. Anna and I laughed.

He picked up one of the gifts. It contained a designer wristwatch. Something he wanted for a long while. He looked at me.

“Is this what I think it is Jenny?” He asked excitedly.

I nodded proudly. He dropped the watch, walked up towards me, and kissed me softly. God, I melted.

“Aww, lovebirds.” Anna chuckled as she came closer to get a better view of the kiss.

“Stop that,” Brian said as he tried to grab the phone from her but Anna was quick. I snickered.

“Leave her be. Memories should be made, don’t you think?” I said with a smile as he cupped my face with his hands. He looked at me lovingly and I felt my knees grow weak.

“I love you so much Jenny, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” He said and kissed me again. I wanted him to take me right there. I didn’t care. Anna was screaming dramatically causing Brian to break the kiss and run after her. I laughed heartily, watching them run around the sitting room.

***

I didn’t know when my face was wet with tears. I placed my right hand on my chest and squeezed tightly.

It hurt so much. I wanted to drink but I had to control myself. It was extremely difficult because I needed to numb the pain so badly. I needed a distraction. I got up, walked into the kitchen, and stared at my pantry.

What can I cook right now?

I sighted the pancake mix. It had been so long. I grabbed it, poured enough in a bowl, added water, and mixed till it was okay. Then I fried pancakes.

I was so proud of myself when I was done. They looked close to perfect. I opened my fridge slightly ashamed that I had nothing but alcohol and water. So, I took a bottle of water with the plate of pancakes and walked to the sitting room. I tuned into one of the movie channels and started eating.

**

I didn’t know when I dozed off. I checked my phone, it was 4 pm. I sincerely couldn’t comprehend why I slept for so long.

The television was still on. A movie was showing but it didn’t look interesting. I yawned as I took my plate to the kitchen to wash it.

I walked back to the sitting room and sat down. I felt lazy for someone that hadn’t done anything strenuous the entire day. I knew I had to go prepare for beach but for some odd reason, I felt so tired and lazy. I picked up the remote and started scanning through channels aimlessly.

Nothing piqued my interest so, I turned it off and walked to my room to prepare myself for the beach.

***

“No, that’s not a bartender. Mr. Jason is my boss and he isn’t in.” The bartender corrected me after I described the other “bartender” to him.

Wow, so Jason is the boss. Impressive.

I remembered hearing his name once or twice during the dispute in his room but I forgot.

“Do you know when he will be back?” I asked looking at the time on my watch. It was 6 pm.

“Very soon.” He said as he arranged the counter. Then he asked, “Can I offer you anything?”

I looked at the shelf behind him and saw tequila. The memories of how I disgraced myself came back and I shuddered. I hadn’t taken anything other than alcohol for the past year so I was confused.

“A glass of anything non-alcoholic is fine” I said, sitting on the same stool as I did last time.

He nodded and turned to prepare it.

I watched him prepare it and hand it over to me. I took a sip and closed my eyes savoring the taste. God, it tasted so good. I opened my eyes and saw the bartender watching me in amusement.

“It is really good right?”

I nodded, taking another sip. I took another, and another till it was done.

“Wow, that was good. What is it called?” I asked.

He smiled, “I am not at liberty to say. Mr. Jason introduced something new to tbe menu. That was what I prepared.”

“Well, it is perfect.” I said.

I checked the time, it was 7 pm. I looked over his shoulder and stared at the beach, I felt drawn to sit at the shore.

“I’m going to stay close to the beach, I’ll return to keep checking if your boss is back.” I said as I got down from the stool and paid for the drink.

“Alright then. Could you tell me your name so I’ll let him know when he returns?”

“My name is Jennifer.” I said and he nodded in acknowledgment.

**

My sundress flowed with the breeze as I walked along the shore and left a trail of delicate footprints behind me. The waves were getting stronger because the day was coming to an end. I watched as some people prepared to leave and found a perfect spot to sit on the sand but kept my distance.

I inhaled the salty air and exhaled. The beach looked very beautiful. It was a long stretch of golden sand that met the crystal-clear water of the ocean. The waves gently lapped the shore, and the sound was so soothing to my ears. I looked at the sky, it was getting dark so it looked clear, almost with no clouds.

I inhaled deeply and sighed. I got a notification from my phone and reached out for it in my bag. The notification was from an app called Google Photos. I got curious and clicked on it.

I froze.

It was the video from Brian’s birthday. The video that Anna made. I clicked on the play option and watched it. I watched it several times with tears in my eyes. I couldn’t believe that he was gone.

I cried and cried my eyes out. My chest started hurting again. I felt as though I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I cleaned my tears and walked back into the bar.

“Hi, is he back?” I asked as he turned around to meet my face.

He shook his head. “He called and said he was on his way back though?”

“Okay then, give me a bottle of tequila.” He looked at me, I guess he was trying to study my mood from my face. “Fast.”

He gave me a bottle. I paid immediately and walked outside again. I didn’t want Jason to see me this way so I was going to drink myself to stupor and go home. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to talk to anyone.

I wished I never left the house.

I wished I ignored the notification.

I wished I didn’t click on that play button.

However, the deed had been done.

As soon as I walked out, I opened the bottle and took a full gulp. It burned my throat but it felt so good as it went into my system.

I missed it.

I took another gulp. And another. And another.

As I walked to where I was sitting, I started feeling a bit woozy. I sat down and took another gulp.

I felt tears falling down my eyes as I gulped and kept drinking the alcohol.

It tasted bitter but the effect felt amazing. I took long pauses but with time, I was done with the bottle. I dropped it by my side and laid down, staring at the clear blue sky.

I felt the effect of the alcohol getting stronger.

Yes, take my pain away. I thought to myself.

I turned to my side and reached out for my bag. I opened it and removed a shiny object. I closed my bag and rose the object to the light with my right thumb and index fingers. It was my engagement ring.

Brian proposed to me here with the ring. Now he was gone. I sighed as the tears poured for the umpteenth time. The waves were getting stronger because I felt water touch my feet and it felt so good.

I felt weak and tired so I dropped my hand, deciding to close my eyes for a moment.

*****

The cold air startled me.

Oh shit, I dozed off.

I sat up speedily checking if everything I held was still there. I checked my bag, everything was intact, thank God. I checked the time, 8:30 pm. I needed to go home instantly, it was getting late. I still felt slightly drunk. I tried regaining myself but it was not working.

I sighed and put my hands behind me, supporting my weight. I felt so tired.

Should I order an Uber and come back for my car later? Isn’t that a better idea?

I couldn’t drive in that state.

Then something hit me. I was holding my ring while I dozed off but I woke up without it. I took out my phone and turned on my phone’s torchlight checking around for it. I couldn’t see it.

No, no way. This can’t be true.

I got up hastily and started checking around. I still couldn’t see it. I was frantic. I looked around, no one was there, so there was no one I could ask.

No, no way. God, please. Please.

I went back to check my bag. It wasn’t there obviously. I groaned angrily and kept searching. I knew deep down that I wasn’t going to find it but I kept searching. I couldn’t give up, I just couldn’t. It was too sentimental to be lost. I searched the entire beach, it felt like I looked crazy because, within me, I was going crazy.

I still couldn’t find it. I sat down and started crying.

Was it stolen? But how could someone have taken the ring and left my bag that had things like my phone and wallet inside? It made no sense.

Where could it be? Where exactly could it be? I was racking my brain as I scratched my braids with so much anger. Then I looked at the beach.

No, don’t tell me it’s in there. That’s impossible.

Deep down, I knew it was possible. The waves looked stronger when I dozed off, I remembered clearly. I got up.

Guess what I did next? Yes. You guessed right. I walked towards the beach. It was stupid, very stupid, I know. But I was tired, tired of it all, and deep down, I wished I could maybe, just maybe, find the ring.

I knew that was a stupid idea but it didn’t stop me from walking into the beach like a fool.