Chapter 7 - Opening Up

“It’s impressive. You manage to work while going to high school, and music school. Don’t you ever miss having the time for yourself, to just chill out from everything?”

She had a point there. I’m missing out on my teenage years, because my parents aren’t able, or plain don’t want to take care of me. I don’t know how to behave like a sixteen year old. I must emotionally support not only myself, but mother and father also. I know they didn’t deserve it. I know they made my life a living hell. But, that’s the thing, I guess. A child is conditioned by birth to be attached to their parents, while parents don’t necessarily have to love their child.

Miss Steele, or better, Bella, how she allowed me to call her outside of classes must have sensed my sudden mood change. She tried to comfort me by placing her hand upon my shoulder. It did help a bit in distracting me. Actually, what distracted me were the sparks that diffused through my body from the place she touched me. The feeling was disturbingly wonderful. I have never experienced something quite like it. Remembering that she asked me something, I decided not to let my bitterness ruin the moment.

“Yeah, I do miss free time. I have Sundays off, but it is nowhere near enough to make up for the exhaustion during the weekdays.”

Bella nodded, as if to say that she understands. It does make me curious, the reason why she is so kind to me. I get that I’m her student, but this goes beyond just that, doesn’t it?

“Why do you have to work? Don’t your parents give you money?”

Of course she’d ask that. This time, I decided to be truthful about it. I don’t know why, I hate oversharing, and I hate it when someone’s pitying me. It’s just this feeling of trust between us.

“My parents don’t work. So they can’t give me money. And, even if they did, my existence is nothing more than a nuisance to them. I guess alcohol is more important…”

I suddenly felt ashamed of myself for telling her that. My entire face felt like it was on fire. I averted my gaze from her in hopes of not seeing the pity in her eyes. What I didn’t expect is her hand on my chin, lifting it up and turning it towards her.

“Hey… It’s alright. You aren’t a bad person for speaking about your problems. You are amazing for pushing on. And I’m not even talking about how incredible it is that you haven’t succumbed to any destructive coping mechanisms.”

Yeah, sure. Of course I wasn’t about to tell her that I’m high every second night. Still, it amazed me. The admiration she has for me. I always thought that the only response I would get if I said this to somebody would be the pity. The more you know…