Chapter 5

Jessica was taking a long time snapping back into reality. Kaylee turned the room lights off in hopes of making her unconscious sister more comfortable.

Finally, Jessica hesitantly and tiredly opened her eyes sitting up confused.

She sat up against the headboard of the bed rubbing her temples and Kaylee couldn't tell if it was the pain from her torture or her stress from the situation. It was both.

"I'll be right back." Kaylee announced not staying long enough to hear a response or make eye contact with her sister. She wasn't exactly sure what to do in this situation, it wasn't exactly something you were taught in school, or something you could just look up.

Jessica nods hardly listening as her head was pounding. She was trying to plan a way to convince her sister that everything she just saw was fake.

Kaylee couldn't believe Jessica's reaction to what had just happened. She was holding her head in her hands. That's it.

If she were getting beat that mercilessly she would do more than just hold her head— She would be sobbing, threatening to call the police or DCF. Probably both. She would be ranting and yelling her story to anyone who would listen. She would run away; she wouldn't care about anyone or anything else. She wouldn't even care about clothes and necessities, she would just go. She would start looking up how to escape an abusive family along with stupid or irrational things about suicide. Not just holding her head in her hands.

And therein lies the true contrast of both girls' characters.

She walks out of her room cautiously looking both ways down the hall. The coast was clear and the only thing she got signs of were her parents mumbling anxiously in their room.

She knew that since her parents were in the room it was safe for her to go downstairs. Jessica was ghostly pale and unnaturally skinny so Kaylee decided to sneak her some food.

There were many ways that Jessica was neglected and it wasn't just physical beatings.

There wasn't much food in the house, only Kaylee's favorites and other items that their mother would occasionally cook with. Most of the time her parents spoiled her with fast food or a sit down at a restaurant. She finally understood how Jessica always suddenly "got sick," whenever they were going to go out.

Kaylee rolled her eyes and picked a cold thick slice of pizza to feed her sibling, grabbing her a bottle of water before she quietly closed the fridge tiptoeing back up the stairs like a spy.

As soon as Jessica was done eating Kaylee planned to give her a very lengthy lecture.

******

I was tied to the chair struggling to get free. I knew that it wouldn't work but I definitely had to try. I hear Kaylee coming downstairs and my eyes go wide, she was never supposed to see this, never supposed to know about this.

I get one more hit and I'm out. I was still here but the pain was more of a background distraction. I feel myself being picked up and wondered if it was really over that quickly.

I try to open my eyes and feel around but I'm too weak. I heard some voices and recognized a new kind of breeze brushing my tender skin.

I was outside.

The sound of children's laughter rang loud and I struggled to move out of sight not knowing where I was specifically. I could only hope I wasn't in their plain sight.

The voices soon faded and after a few moments of silence with only the wind blowing, I feel myself being lifted again.

I was placed in the same uncomfortable chair from before and my body starts to tingle as I began to get feeling and awareness back in my limbs.

The stinging sensation that usually radiated from my cuts had briefly stopped but it was only a few euphoric seconds before it started again. With the first deep cut my eyes shot open and I arched my back so fast I felt like a duck.

They slam me back into the chair again and again, it felt tedious and endless.

As more and more cuts formed I arched my back just the same but not as dramatically. I felt the warm stream of blood from my shoulder trickle onto my hair and my hair holds it in place like a sponge.

The burning sensation was unbelievable. They should have just held a match to my skin, it would have been the equivalent.

I was hit in a fatal spot, directly in my temple and quickly darkness took over once more. Darkness and numbness.

All I see is black. I like the color black. Black seemed so poetic; it was unproblematic. There were no issues with black, no complications.

The sound of faint voices that I couldn't make out and crying rang in my ears. I knew it was my sister, I wanted nothing more than to embrace and reassure her that this was all a nightmare that she needed to wake up from, but it wasn't just a nightmare, it was our lives. And there was no reassurance because I was forcibly paralyzed.

Eventually I felt that familiar tingling sensation and I could open my eyes. The room was bright and blinding even with minimal lights on making my cringe inevitable as I waited for my eyes to adjust.

I regain my vision and watch terrified as my sister stares at me with skepticism.

What could I possibly say to her?

"Everything you just saw was fake. None of that occurred. Our parents are saints and you're delusional."

She was dumb but she wasn't stupid, and she would never believe that.

She saw my parents hurting me and she saw my cuts. There's nothing I can do.

When she comes back she has food in her hands and a pissed off look on her face. She turns on the light and I squint my eyes. My eyes slowly readjust and I open them completely.

She hands me the pizza and I smile in thanks slowly setting it down having a loss of appetite from the situation.

Kaylee looks as me with a straight face and crossed arms and starts to reprimand with her strict and firm words.

"We need to talk."

*****

Jessica held a panicked expression on her face, but Kaylee did not hesitate with voicing her complaints.

"Why didn't you tell me this was happening? Why didn't you inform me of the fact that our parents were monsters? Why are you still here?!"

Kaylee somewhat regretted shouting at her already frightened sister, but Jessica has had years, months, weeks to inform her sibling of this huge secret but she chose not to.

So Kaylee chose to yell and scold.

She understood results would probably flow more calmly if she had asked more politely but she didn't have time to waste. She needed answers, now.

Jessica gives her a sorrowful and embarrassed expression messing with the ring on her finger. A small token she kept from her father.

"You want me to leave?" Kaylee's eyes went wide, "Yes! Escape, get out of here so you won't be in harm's way."

Jessica looked down deciding to bite her tongue. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" Kaylee questions hurt raising an eyebrow as she waited.

"If you knew about our parents then you would have a flaw in your life. A huge one at that."

Kaylee couldn't figure out what Jessica was talking about, while Jessica didn't know about all of it, Kaylee had a lot of shit going on in her life.

She has many flaws and countless insecurities; she just gave the illusion of confidence. Having abusive parents would definitely be at the top of her list but not her only one.

Kaylee gave her a questioning face.

"Explain."

Jessica took in a deep breath then explained everything, the whole reason her mother hated her, how Kaylee's father ended up in this mess, and how her mother's anger was transferred to this horrible act.

She told the whole story about their mother getting pregnant, and her dad leaving.

By the end of the story both girls were on the brink of tears looking at one another with a promise to protect each other.

When they both calmed down Kaylee questioned loudly, "Does your boyfriend know?"

Jessica looked at her distraught noticing the smirk on Kaylee's lips before she shakes her head. "Jayden is not my boyfriend, he is just a friend, and—" Kaylee interrupts her with a scoff.

"Ha! I could use a hot friend like that." Jessica decides to ignore her outspoken sister continuing her previous statement. She knew that Kaylee was simply trying to lighten the mood so the plethora of information she was just handed wouldn't depress her. "—No, he doesn't."

Kaylee looks at her still not believing her words.

"He's not my boyfriend! How would I explain bruises, cuts, and scars to a boyfriend?" Kaylee finally gives in letting the subject go.

"And he would probably find never being able to come over and meet my parents suspicious."

She understood but still had to ask, "You want him to be your boyfriend though, right?"

Jessica rolled her eyes at her sister's immaturity. "I can't have a boyfriend. That means happiness and my happiness isn't something our parents are fond of."

Kaylee rolls her eyes feeling obvious sympathy for her sister but still attempts to hide it by asking more embarrassing questions.

"So, if he asked you out you would say no?" Jessica tried to keep an emotionless face but she couldn't hide the blush that was creeping up from being taken by surprise by the rapid fire of questions.

Kaylee scoffs once again, "If that one-hundred-and-eighty-pound bundle of muscle hotness asked me out I would never decline. That's a "skip the boyfriend phase and get married" kind of man for sure." She giggled.

"How do you know his weight?" Jessica questions playfully concerned for Jayden's safety. "Just an estimate, carrying that much cuteness must be exhausting."

They both laugh together as Jessica face palms slightly embarrassed. Kaylee was glad that she made her sister forget her troubles for even five minutes.

The rest of the night they just talked. No secrets, no lies, no uncomfortableness. Just two sisters catching up.

It was mostly Jessica listening to all of her sister's problems and giving wise advice, not really having the strength to give lengthy replies. Her abdomen and back screeched with pain every time she laughed or breathed in too deeply but she ignored it because this was the first time she was connecting with her sister on a sort of deep level that wasn't just an "I will protect you forever and possibly die for you," sort of dramatic complex. It was, "we're sisters. Out of all the people I could have gotten stuck with on this planet. I got stuck with you." And they were allowed to enjoy their odds.

It was different now.

They hung out forgetting they had two abusive parents down the hall planning their demise.

If only they had been more aware. If only they could have guessed what the hell they had planned, they wouldn't have been so stupid, they wouldn't have been so reckless. And maybe things would have turned out different.

*******

I couldn't believe Kaylee found out, I felt a sort of relief, I didn't have to hide this huge secret anymore, but I also felt a new sense of fear. Now she's in danger. Now she didn't have a shield of ignorance that would protect her from our parents. She was going to get hurt and it would all be because of me.

Now I have to protect her ten times more than I did before.

Everything used to be nice and simple. Everything has changed today. Life was supposed to be: I got hurt, I was the punching bag, they released their anger on me and Kaylee was safe. Nothing was hard or complicated about it. Now I don't know what they have planned or how I'm supposed to stop it.

I lost my map; I knew what to do and what not to do but as soon as Kaylee bounced down those stairs she set everything on fire without placing an extinguisher in my hands. And if I didn't figure out another way to calm the flame, we were both doomed.

I listened to Kaylee talk about irrelevant things happening in school and tried to listen to what my parents were saying in the next room at the same time.

It wasn't a very smart plan because I couldn't exactly use my selective hearing. Every time I was busy listening in, it got quiet in our room meaning it got quiet in theirs. I had to talk nonsense while trying to piece together random bits of information I was catching.

Even without hearing their plan I knew it wasn't anything could. I could sense incoming pain from a mile away.

It's like an accidental superpower.

We're in deep crap.

"Umm... Jess, I just realized something." Kaylee whispered to me. "What?" I whispered back removing my attention from the faint voices I heard next door to the faint voice in front of me.

"Now mom and dad know about Jayden, what if they go after him?" I stare at my door that was slightly open. Was it always open? Or am I just paranoid now?

"Kaylee, I think we should go to bed."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I nod and painfully force myself to stand up. I knew that if I got some sort of motion from my limbs today tomorrow would be much easier. I limp to the door and close it hearing the quiet click of the lock as I turned it. I stood there for a moment feeling strange as the lock didn't make me feel any safer.

I grabbed a short chair and placed it in front of the door in hopes that it would keep that door from opening. When I step back I stare at the chair. This chair and that lock were the only things putting distance between life and death.

I shook my head to clear the thought and limp back to my bed. I hoped we would be safe tonight but chances for hope were very slim in this house. If you wanted it you had to pay, and sometimes it felt like I was carrying around the ultimate debt.

When I got to school the next morning the first thing I saw was Jayden. I probably shouldn't have stopped walking but I felt the need to stop and observe for a moment. I wasn't sure what his deal was. What was he hiding? What did he want? No normal person just stops and decides to talk to me, it doesn't make sense. Maybe it wasn't healthy for me to be this untrusting or skeptical but I couldn't help it.

He was across the hall but as soon as he saw me, he smiled a kind of smile that was unfamiliar to me. He begins to jog in my direction, reaches me and the smile never dropped.

My human instincts told me to be polite and return the smile, but my natural guard told me otherwise.

As he stood next to me slightly out of breath his smile falters as he observes my features, "What's wrong with your face?" My blank face transforms into a glare and I turn to walk away.

It led me to wonder if I actually ever wanted to grow up and be on my own because that meant I would have to make human interactions more frequently and so far the bar on human personalities is very low.

Before I could stride away in irritation he grabs my arm gently and turns me around chuckling, "I'm serious. You have a cut."

He moves to touch my face but I pushed him away gently finally registering what he was saying. Before I went to bed my face was clear. My parents actually made it a rule to never scratch up my face because face scars are a lot harder to explain and hide as opposed to body scars which can easily be concealed with clothes.

Without another word I hand him my stuff and ran into the girl's bathroom that we were conveniently standing next to. Sure enough, I had a beautiful bright red slash on my cheek right under my eye.

"That bitch." I mutter to myself annoyed rolling my eyes. It was almost impossible to get into my room and yet they still managed. I knew I had to check on Kaylee. She was gone this morning before I woke up, I had woken up pretty late and I assume she thought I was just going to stay home but I definitely wasn't taking that chance.

********

Kaila and Christian walk out of their room infuriated.

Their daughter Kaylee was an exaggerator and they knew for a fact she would do something drastic with this new information she's received like call the police on them, even if the abuse wasn't towards her.

They had to conjure up a way to keep her quiet. They weren't worried about Jessica, she had been trained since she was ten or maybe younger to keep her mouth shut and she had never opened her mouth to anyone ever.

She had always been scared and alone but was now peacefully sleeping.

Kaila puts her hand on the knob lightly turning it to prevent making much noise but was stopped as the knob budged, locked.

"That stupid kid." Christian cursed twitching his eye in annoyance. Kaila rolls her eyes and walks back into her room grabbing the key moving to unlock the teenager's door only to be prevented by something else.

Christian slams his body against the door losing all patience as he breaks the small helpless fragile chair.

Kaila's eyes go wide as she stared at her idiotic husband holding her breath in hopes that the quick loud noise didn't wake either of them.

They saw that both of them laid motionless still breathing in sync. They didn't know that their youngest child was silently trembling wishing she was in the same deep unbothered sleep that her sister was placed in after all the years of practice with her parent's midnight beatings.

She had her eyes closed clutching onto her older sister for dear life. She hears a small pocketknife click and she let out a quiet unnoticeable whimper.

"Christian relax, we just came in here to get perspective."

The adults were weighing out different plans. Moving the kids cross country, scaring them into permanent silence, killing one of them.

"You're no fun."

She hears a small slice and as soon as she feels her sister flinch, she knew what he had done.

"That one too, they're on the same level now right?"

She turns to lay on her stomach so she could protect her face with her pillow and both adults freeze fearing their youngest had woken up.

Once she stops moving they let out a sigh of relief. Kaylee was shaking, she couldn't figure out how Jessica dealt with this every day. She has only been dealing with it for a few hours and felt drained. She slowly moves closer to her sister who was laying on her back and put her arm around her. She felt better, more protected, but not invincible.

The adults talked more about their plans, Kaylee felt a sneeze coming on, her eyes went wide and she became infuriated with her body for not realizing it was in a life or death situation. The smallest inkling of the fact that she was awake and who knew what would happen.

Kaylee tried to hold her nose but the sneeze came. She knew now it was time to act because that sneeze meant that she was awake. She sat up slowly yawning and stretching dramatically with her back towards her parents in hopes they would see she was "waking up" and try to escape or at least hide.

She rubbed her eyes, then slowly stood up walking to Jessica's bathroom giving them more time and opportunities to get out of the room. And as soon as Kaylee closed the door to the bathroom her parents snuck away and she could hear the sound of the door closing.

Kaylee let out a sigh of relief holding her chest as she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked tired and helpless and she didn't like it.

She quickly exited the bathroom with a tissue in her hand and got back in the bed to hold it to Jessica's bleeding cheek till it stopped then turned around and went back to sleep.

********

I walked out of the bathroom to see Jayden still there holding my stuff. It wasn't like I gave him much of a choice.

"Thank you." I voiced my appreciation quietly, scratching my arm a bit awkwardly. He held his smirk with an eyebrow raised. I didn't like how comfortable he was with my awkwardness. It should annoy him or make him uncomfortable yet here he was still smiling and holding my things like we were in some variation of a relationship.

I had to find Kaylee but I knew I wouldn't be able to move quickly with my book-bag bouncing on the platform of fresh cuts I had.

"I need you to hold on for one more sec." He rolled his eyes with that same playful smile in them. "Fine, but—" I knew he was going to say something cocky or embarrassing so I didn't bother staying to listen, instead of letting me leave though, he grabs my arm lightly twirling me back around to kiss my cheek.

It was nothing huge, it could even be a friendly kiss, but it was still an insane deal to me. I had just become okay with the fact that I had to talk to him and consider him a friend because he had decided he wasn't going to leave me alone. But this? My years of isolation prevented me from being prepared for this.

"Hey Cortez, didn't you have somewhere to be? I'm not holding onto your stuff forever." I scoff deciding to play it off and not make it a huge deal. "You know, you're an ass." His smirk only widens, "You loved it Cortez." I turn around to hide my blush, "That was borderline rape." I shoot back only to hear him chuckle.

I couldn't help but smile a bit as my heart did a very small and unhealthy palpitation then completely stop myself. No no no. This will not happen. I will not start to like him or enjoy his presence because HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

I am literally sending him to his death if I get attached. My heart cannot flutter for a boy I know I cannot have while I still have abusive asshole parents to deal with. It just can't happen.

I find Kaylee quickly since she wasn't in her designated building. None of the younger kids ever were.

"Kaylee are you okay?"

"Yeah." She responds with a small smile. I knew it was for my sake because in her eyes I saw she wanted to say something and it was something I did not want to hear.

I already knew the answer but I wanted to verify my suspicions, "Did I have this cut last night?" She shook her head without even observing the cut, I knew she was hiding something and I was ready to yell at her to spit it out already but I also knew she just needed a second to gather her thoughts.

"No. Mom and dad snuck into your room last night, they thought we were both sleeping I mean— you were but I... My dad cut you, I don't think he was supposed to but once he did, they were gonna do the same to me cause we're equals now... They hate me as much as they hate you."

She didn't seem hurt, she was more frightened and I was pissed because I knew this was exactly what was going to happen. She should have minded her business and lived in blissful ignorance. I felt a bit dizzy and I cursed myself for not attempting to sneak some food this morning. I usually can manage with an apple or at least a stick of cheese but my body was running on fumes today.

"I thought that was the worst of it and I was like, yeah-- I can live with that. Me and Jess against the world. But I listened in on their plans and I heard something about a new baby..? And somehow that idea seems a lot harder to get on board with." She attempts a joke but I saw no humor in her eyes and there was definitely none in mine.

Kaylee and I had only a few more years until adulthood. I could deal with protecting her while figuring out myself— but a new baby was definitely going to mess that up. I cannot take care of a new baby and I'm certainly not letting those psychos raise another kid, so where did that leave me? I couldn't exactly start slipping my mom birth control.

"Holy shit." I mutter to myself holding my head in my hands. There was no way I could do this.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I tried to hide the fact that a mild panic attack was sprouting but it wasn't easy.

Kaylee is pushed forward and trips but I catch her in my chest, almost forcing me to fall over since I had no strength at the moment and most of my vision was blurry.

"What the hell?" She pushes off me to turn back angrily trying to find the source. I had to keep blinking to stay awake. I started seeing purple and black dots swirling in my vision and though it was pretty I knew it was far from normal.

"Hey Kaylee, I just wanted to apologize for being a douche." I recognized the voice but knew it was unnatural that I couldn't see the face.

I felt myself sweating so I held my head and squatted down trying to regain my composure and some balance.

"Well it looks like you're still a jerk but thanks for the half-assed apology."

The only thing I could depend on right now was my hearing because my vision was totally gone and I honestly couldn't sense whether I was still on the floor or not. Everything felt hot and fake. It felt like I was paralyzed in some nightmare.

"Jess?"

"Hey! I was trying to be nice. I really don't have to apologize at all."

Did I lose too much blood last night? Should I feel this dizzy? It's never been this bad the morning after.

I felt nauseous and I put my hand over my mouth in hopes that it would signal my body to relax and not yack in the middle of the hallway.

Everything sounded faded and distorted. It felt like a dream.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH. I get it Anthony, now go away!"

"Jesus, relax."

I hear them start to argue again and I wasn't sure how much longer I could stay awake. Usually by now I was back to normal and as long as I got some kind of food or liquid in me I was fine.

I could no longer crouch and I was now flat on my ass rocking back and forth slowly in hopes that my vision would come back.

For a second it does, I look up and see Jayden from a distance walking quickly towards us with an eyebrow raised. I never realized how intimidating he could be.

"I DON'T CARE." I hear Kaylee shout before she falls on top of me and the pretty black dots take over.