Chapter 13

There's nothing but complete darkness and silence leaving me to drown in my thoughts like my own personal hell. Am I dead? I can't be because with the amount of pain I'm in tells me I'm very much alive. I can't feel anything nor see or hear. Everything is dark and empty leaving me all alone. I don't know where I am. My body feels like its floating yet I can't quite grasp the feeling off my limbs.

**

Suddenly I see a bright light as my body starts to feel like it's being lifted, as if my soul was being released and I was flying high to find peace.

An open meadow filled with a wide variety of different colors of roses was placed before me. I could feel my feet softly mold into the fertile ground. I bend down to kneel onto the ground dirt covering my knees. I reach my arm out and grab the deepest and brightest pure red rose I've ever laid eyes upon. I bring it closer to my face and inhale deeply taking in the strong scent reminding me of all good things in life. I bring me head up again and see a girl in the same position as me. Her face is warm and for some reason I feel safe and not the slightest bit of fear. She's wearing a think white sundress making her appear innocent and pure. Her eyes sparkle as they are a blazing leafy iris. Her hair runs straight down and natural highlights sparkle in the sunlight.

She looks just like me. I contort my face and she does the same. Then I lift my hand as she follows my every move. It's like she's a mirror reflection of me. I'm so confused.

"Your answers will come soon" a whisper in the wind replies. I look around my surroundings and find nothing but the flowers all around me. I look back to where the girl was only to see she was gone like she vanished into thin air.

Alone again yet I feel anything but scared I feel relaxed. I lay down onto the roses as they act like a cushion of a bed and pillow to my frame. I gaze up to the sky and it's crystal clear blue and not a cloud in sight. It's like my own personal heaven.

"This isn't heaven my dear" I hear the same voice blow in my ear. I shoot up and look around and find no one yet again. "What do you mean?" I question into the air hoping that the voice will reply somehow again.

"You must uphold a duty" the airy like voice replies. Did it say duty? What kind of duty is someone like me suppose to have?

"You'll find out when the time comes"

Soon after that the meadow filled with roses and the blue skies and sun slowly disappear as every thing becomes dark once more.

**

The darkness continues leaving me to think about one thing and one thing only. What kind of duty was the voice talking about. It was probably just a weird dream but it felt real. The plushness of the flowers. The moldy soil. They sky and sun radiating heat on my body. Maybe it all was just a figment of my imagination.

All of a sudden through the dark abyss I can feel a presence next to me. I feel coldness seep through me making me internally shiver and freeze. I hear mumbling voices and incoherent words that I can't make out.

The coldness continues but is replaced as a burning feeling courses through from my hand all throughout my body sending my nerves into a frenzy. The feeling becomes over whelming as my body shoots up and my eyes become wide and I take in a deep breath as if I was woken up from the dead and haven't been living for ages.

I feel my body then relax as it slowly falls back down onto the soft cushion of a bed underneath me. When my head hits the pillow I look at the source of the burning feeling that woke me and see Ronan looking at me intently confusion in his eyes. What happened? His dark ocean blue eyes continue to stare into me like I was the most intriguing thing in the world. I looked closely into his eyes and see tiny gold flecks surrounding his iris. I look deeper into the gold becoming in trance as memories flashed before my eyes like headlights. It hits me all at once like an unexpected hit and run. I'm hit with all these scenes before my eyes and it goes away after in an instant.

It's all his fault.

Anger builds up in me as my face becomes hard and my muscles turn tense. It's because of him for my pain and suffering right now. I can still barely feel my limbs but I muster up every each and fiber of my being and strength to bring my arm up and swing it towards his direction. He easily grabs my hand before I'm able to make contact and holds it tenderly as if it was made of porcelain. Sparks shoot through my arm at at connection of our skin making me crave more even though I don't want to be anywhere near him. My body ends up falling in his as all my energy was just used and my body is weak and frail again. My body starts to violently shake as my sobs become louder and my tears feel like their burning my cheeks. The feeling of tingles on my skin from where our bodies are touching only makes me cry more, hating all the emotions and instability I've had to deal with for all the years that I haven't been able to release. I cry for my family and friends. I cry for my old life. I cry new life. I cry for all the pain and trauma I've been through. I cry for never being able to live a normal life again. I've finally broke there's nothing left for me my family is gone everyone I knew and loved is gone along with the last bit of my humanity except there's still a part of me that somehow holds onto hope.

My tears stop and my body becomes motionless and rigid. Ronan's fingers make their way into my hair combing it back away from my wet and stinky face. I ignore the tingling and soothing feeling that;s starting to become addictive and try to fill it with numbness. I slowly move away from him and sit up looking forward straight at the beige covered wall. My body feels cold as I move away from him. My body aches for the feeling of my skin against his but I ignore it and wipe my face clear of any emotion.

I hear the silent footsteps of someone walking in. The smell of food fills my nostrils but instead of feeling hungry I feel sick. And then the footsteps leave until the room is back to silence.

"Are you hungry?" Ronan breaks the silence his voice sounds soft like an adult talking to a child. I continue staring at the wall blankly not moving a single muscle in my body. He sighs at my silence. "Come on piccolo uccello you must eat if you want to get better" he pleads while bringing a spoon full of food into my view. I inwardly cringe as he speaks in his language which always warms me up but not right now. Maybe I don't want to get better. I keep still in my position my breathing barely audible. A few seconds pass as I don't respond. I hear the cracking of glass next to me but still keep my focus ahead not wanting to see Ronan the slightest bit even though my limbs burn to be in his arms. Why is my body acting like this?

Suddenly food covers the wall in front of me but I don't flinch too empty to feel anything. Ronan's hard feet hit against the floor as he paces back and forth. And then he stops.

Without warning Ronan grabs my chin pulling my face to look at him. It takes all I have to keep my eyes connected to the wall no matter how much I want to give into the nagging voice in the back of my head to look at him. Even though my body is facing him and I can't directly see him I can feel the anger radiating off of him. A throaty growl slips through his lips.

"LOOK AT ME" he demands harshly putting more pressure making the tingles disappear and be replaced with sharp knife like piercings in my skin causing me to let out a quiet wince in pain.

I finally give in to the voice and slowly shift my eyes to his. His eyes are completely black, the purple like electrify running through his orbs. Usually I would have cowered in fear but I felt anything but scared for some unusual reason. I couldn't quite make out the feeling that was going through me. He stares deeply at my face taking in every one of my features from my forehead down to lips and towards my neck. His sight comes back to my point of view. His eyes start to change back into the normal blue abyss as I try to contain my unshed tears. My face was blank and clean of emotions but my eyes. My eyes were filled with everything I was feeling or ever felt. My eyes were an open book to my soul.

His fingers around my chin loosen until it felt like a feathery touch. He traces my jaw and up to my ear sending goosebumps to cover over my arms. He pushes the loose strand of hair out of my face still not breaking contact. His eyes soften as they study the strand piece of hair wrapping it around his finger delicately making my body relax. Why is he acting like this all of a sudden? I'm sick and tired of his mood swings.

I pull my head away from him shuffling my body towards the other end of the bed further from him. I can't handle the way my body is reacting to a simple touch from him. I could of sworn I saw his lips curve down into a frown but it was vanished as soon as it appeared. He lets out a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair pushing it back.

A soft knock is heard from the other side of the door. My head snaps towards the direction of the opening of the door. It reveals Lia. Oh thank god someone I can actually stand in this world. She gives me a smile before going towards Ronan and whispering something to him that only their heightened hearing could hear. Ronan gives her a slight nod. He turns towards me looking my body up and down before he leaves the room shutting the door behind him, my eyes never leaving him until he was gone. I look towards Lia a sad emotion laced her face.

"I can't believe he did that" she says more to herself looking at the ground. What is she talking about? Is it about how Ronan almost left me for dead? "I mean we all know Ronan is possessive and protective but I didn't think it be this bad that he'd do that to you" she quickly tells me. Possessive? Protective? That's what you'd call what he did to me? Ha and what does she mean no offense? It's anything but a caring gesture. I chuckle a little imaging Ronan caring about me. "What?" she asks confused from my laughter.

"Ronan being possessive or protective? Of me? You must be joking. He almost killed me!" I retort. Leave it to Lia to bring some of my humanity back. Damn you Lia. She shakes her head giving me a sly smirk. Okay why is she smirking. What's going on?

"He didn't try to kill you. It quite far from it actually" she explains while taking a seat next to me leaning on the bed. I'm completely lost.

"What do you mean he didn't try to kill me and it's far from it? Last thing I remember is him fangs deep into my neck trying to suck me dry!" I exclaim flailing my arms around trying to put more emphasis on my memory. She lightly laughs at me putting her head in her hand shaking it slightly. What the hell is she laughing at?! "What?!" I scream at her. She looks at my flaring face and is taken a little back from the anger and annoyance in my voice.

"He wasn't trying to suck you dry" she uses her finger to quote the part that she repeated from what I said trying to imitate my voice.

"Well then what the hell was he doing?!" I shout at her. I feel a vein on my neck ready to pop from her not answering my simple question.

"Well to start there's 3 types of bites. One is for drinking blood. The second is to change someone. And the last one is to mark to your mate or as you humans like to call soulmates. It's basically like a warning to everyone that the person marked is taken and not to intervene and it's a big no no in vampire committee to intervene with marked vampires and Purebloods" she thoroughly explains to me.

"That still doesn't explain what and why Ronan did what he did to me" I spit back at her through clenched teeth annoyed by the fact my question still hasn't been answered.

"Well you see it's not really my place to fully explain so um bye!" she sprints out of the room at an inhumane speed. I'm left alone in my thoughts. So there's 3 different types of bites? That still doesn't explain what Ronan did to me and why. He didn't turn me because I'm still very much human but what did he do. Lia said he wasn't trying to kill me so maybe he was just trying to drink my blood because he was hungry or someone angered him. But the last option is a mark of a mate. Ha. Like Ronan and I could ever be mates. But soon I'll find out the truth even if I die trying.