Chapter 17: The Departures

This day was not supposed to come so soon.

There was still some more time. Thought Akshi.

Yet, here she was dressed in a saree, the traditional wear which every girl is expected to wear for the first time here in India. The farewell for them was here, the month of December and January had rushed off, but with the time it wasn’t the relationships that she had got herself tangled in.

She smiled at the thought.

The memories were actually to be cherished, how she had developed such a great relationship with her seniors and Abhi…. He was a tale to behold.

A fairy tale that every person would have wanted to live. The way he would make her laugh, the way he made her nervous and content that life was something to be lived, and what was to come their way was not to be thought about.

Akshi applied the final stroke of her lip gloss and finally stood up and looked at herself.

The saree looked fine on her, she looked very beautiful and even though she denied a thousand times she knew it was Abhi for whom she was getting ready.

She knew that no matter how much did she tried and denied she loved him, and now that she knew they would depart to never meet again she wanted to confess her feelings, so that be it where they were they would remember each other, live a happy life and if ever he loved her then maybe they would have a future.

She smiled at the thought and walked down to the car where her brother waited for her.

“see I was right, I missed the ramp walk idiot.” Akshi snapped at her brother who looked at her shocked and was about to snap back at her but was forced to shut up with the loud bang of his door.

As Akshi walked inside the doors of the school gate, a weird feeling set in the pit of her stomach, she couldn’t get herself to behave the same way she had accepted to do.

Her legs staggered, the smile on her face fell slightly as she saw him standing on the stage, his red velvet tux, black trousers and a bow tie he looked so good, it made her feel a bit self-conscious of herself, as if she wasn’t the beauty that would match to that of his.

Yet with a bit hesitant steps, she walked ahead and as soon as she found her friends she went and sat with them.

The feeling was weird yet her heart was beating like every time just to call him out, to look at her, to acknowledge her; and as soon as their eyes met her heart she could feel for a moment stopped beating, the smile returned to her face, as she saw his lights light up in advance and happiness, something which she wanted to see.

All through the introductions and the programme, the two sat at the two different ends of the ground and once finally the dance floor was opened, they were amazed to know that this time for the first time ever it had a ball dance as well.

Each of them was asked by someone or the other, Akshi waited to see who would approach her, her heart was beating heavily scared will it be him or someone else? But as soon as she saw him walking towards her the feeling was weird there was a huge war in her stomach, there were goose bumps all over her body, she smiled at him and waited for him to ask her.

But even before he could reach her, Adi walked up to her and asked her for the dance.

“why can't you just stay far far away from me?” Akshi snapped at him, visibly disappointed that her first dance ever was taken away by this stupid person.

“I can't, actually I wanted to tell you something,” Adi said, many times these words were something that would have given any girl a heart attack, but now that she knew him very well she was way too calm and asked him.

“and what would that be?”

“I am going to Chennai, the talk was going on at home from time to time but now dad had finally said that we would be going, this time it wasn’t the discussion but a decision and all I am worried about is…”

The way he trailed off made her smile, the worry and hesitance that was etched on his face made him look cute, but as her eyes followed his, her stomach dropped. The cuteness now that she saw clearly wasn’t at all there rather, there stood her broken friend,

It was very difficult to see him like this, all broken and hopeless, his eyes still stayed on Nevi who danced about with Abhi, a smile on her face, whereas when Akshi looked back at Adi, she could not even think what was it that was supposed to say and do about it.

“Did you tell about this to Nevi?” Akshi asked, her eyes trying to meet his, which only avoided her.

But then who was he hiding from, they were the sailors of the same boat and nothing was there to hide from each other.

The direction towards which this night was now heading to, was not something Akshi had expected to happen at all.

“I don’t think so I would ever tell her Akshi, I am going to never come back, and let's face it, we are grown up now, soon college will start do you really think that the plans that we all have made would work? The weekend plans that we had ever made never worked and how could you even think that these every Sunday and Saturday conference calls and video calls would do?”

Akshi couldn’t reply anything, with every word that Adi spoke her hopes, her dreams her plans were shattering one by one.

Maybe it was true, a school love, school friendship, the days were always meant to be missed, they were always a was and never an is.

The thought made her shudder.

“I can't just make her have hopes and then find her all broken, it would be better to have her as my friend than a –“

He couldn’t complete his sentence as if saying those words would have killed him.

But then as slowly the words began to sink into her mind she was about to console him, but she found herself being twirled around and then landed into the warm hands.

The mere touch of his made her all senses wide awake. It was as if his only touch and presence were enough for her to know who it was.

This was stupid, many times she thought that, but then may things were stupid and unbelievable when you were in love.

As Abhi steadied her in his arms, the music turned to a much slower one, and to one of Akshi’s favourite “sad song by we the kings”. It was as if all her dreams were coming true today.

As the two swayed to the music, and when finally they let their eyes meet, their hearts - now a lot bit calmer filled with unknown happiness.

“hi ‘ his voice came out in a whisper, as if he meant to say something else but said something else.

But now though he had said something, Akshi’s mind and the body weren’t in a state to respond to him, it seemed so cliché; none would ever imagine these things are what she was feeling – the same girl who once thought that all these butterflies and mushy things were only for the novels.

Akshi looked closer into his face and with a lot of efforts mustered a smile and said: “hi, I didn’t know you could dance so well.”

The small chuckle that followed made her swoon on him. Though internally she wanted to gag on whatever she was doing or the way her body and mind were reacting, somewhere she was pleased and wanted to do more of it.

“and I didn’t know it would be this awkward for us… Akshi I - you - what –“ he said all of a sudden, twirling her into a circle and pulling her back into his arms. So close that they could almost hear the rhythmic heartbeat of theirs.

“what?’ she laughed, the song was their favourite and she was enjoying every bit of it. Never had she thought that her first dance would be this beautiful?

“ I think this song is ours.” He stated, his eyes lingered on Akshi’s glowing face. Though she looked beautiful the very first time he had seen her, and now that he had her so close in his arms, he had this feeling to never let her go.

Akshi laughed, she laughed to her heart's content, throwing her head back and creating a beauty which was to behold, every cameraman would be jealous to not be able to capture it, and somehow now Abhi could realize what was it that those various authors and poets about whom Akshi had talked about meant.

A beauty such that every person would envy, a beauty that could be compared with none.

“and why do you think this is our song?” Akshi asked, her voice as if a reminder to Abhi of his surroundings.

“many things don’t require any kind of reason. And this is our song and that’s final.” Abhi started with a stern voice, it only made Akshi smile at him.

She never had this urge to hug him any of the time as much as she did right now. And though she wanted to do that, she knew she couldn’t.

“so…”

“soo?”

“it’s the farewell and then …”

“And then the exams and then my NDA, what about you?” Abhi asked. The casual tone of his was slicing each and every being in her.

She thought she might have at least her junior college years, but it seemed their plans never matched.

“I … I really don’t know, I want to take up Arts, but my family thinks I am way better for commerce and they might be right, I am just not sure I would be going to college or will continue here,” she stated.

The warmth of their bodies engulfing them, their breath increasing as every second passed by as if they were trying to remember each and every inch of theirs.

“you would do great, whatever it would be…” Abhi said as he pulled her closer as someone passed by them. His eyes still lingered on her.

“you think so?’

“I know so.” Akshi all of a sudden laughed at the statement. It sounded like they were those parting lovers who knew their lives apart would be miserable but the situations were so that staying apart would be best.

“why are you laughing?” Abhi asked. That curious glint back in his eyes.

“You never told me why you took me to marine drive that day… the real answer Abhi.” Akshi asked.

“and keep up to you to change the topic.” The two laughed yet as soon as the song ended, Abhi still kept a firm hold on Akshi’s hand and asked.

“will you have a walk with me?”

And with a confirming nod, they walked away from the crowd. The whole school was lit up with lights. It would look scandalous to walk like this at the other end of the school but Akshi didn’t care, she knew that as the time was ticking by, her time with him was coming to an end.

“that day I - I just wanted to be away from everything that reminded me that I had to decide about my future and the only thing that would make me forget it was you. You are that fresh air that makes me calm down, and I knew somehow it would be the last time I could actually come up to you.” His voice wavered as it came to an end.

Akshi halted her steps not knowing where this conversation was going to lead them.

“what do you mean?” she asked, her breath becoming uneven. It felt so stupid, why was she going into a panic attack? This was going to happen.

They were meant to depart in different ways.

Yet it killed her to know that, it killed her to know that the first love of hers was just going to be a mere memory.

‘Akshi, we are going to leave Mumbai, and it has been my habit/my protocol to leave things where they were, I only carry the memories of that place, no relations nothing else… I am sorry I have things coming up, my carrier, my dream to be in Army –“

“your father’s dream.” She said. Her voice so soft that it would not have been heard if they weren’t the only people out in that block.

Abhi let out a laugh, his eyes still on Akshi and then took a step closer to her and cupped her face.

“whatever it would be Akshi, I just can’t let you get hurt knowing that I would be aloof out there and you would be waiting for me, I know what we feel is special but –“

‘why can’t you boys just say out things and get it done let us decide for us?” Akshi snapped at him and walked away from there.

She knew he was right. Their lives were going to change in a huge manner. She didn’t know what her future beheld, and she surely couldn’t wait for him to be back after being selected as an officer. She wasn’t that strong to stay away from him if they would have been even a bit closer.

She surely didn’t have that courage to let him go risk his life, how much of a heroic thing it was.

As she walked closer toward the ground the music that had now turned to pop flared. She cleared her face that held tears and with a fake smile walked towards her friends.

The night went on, Akhsi ignoring Abhi, him chasing her, they all clicking numerous pictures and then was the time when they had to bid a bye.

Her thoughts had finally cleared, the pain of losing every single person overpower the loss of her love.

As she moved ar oud hugging everyone and saying byes, she finally landed on that person.

She took a step and was about to say something when her phone rang. it was Kartik. She looked at Abhi who nodded her head as she answered. All the while he waited for her as she asked him to wait for some time.

“I am sorry,” Abhi said as soon as she had cut the call and wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug.

Her tears that she had managed to keep in a bay finally showing their appearance.

“I – I - “ the words couldn’t come out only the soft whimpers which were muffled due to her face being hidden in his chest.

The only way he wanted to hold her for lifelong. But the situations weren’t the same.

He slowly let her go and kept her in his arms as he walked her towards the gate.

None of them said anything, just felt each other, remembered each other and held onto each other.

As soon as Askhi spotted Kartik's car, her hold on Abhi’s shirt tightened and she felt him getting rigid as well. Neither was ready for the departure.

But as she saw Kartik coming out of the car all worried, she felt Abhi letting her go, as much as she tried to hold onto him she couldn’t.

The tears began to fall harshly which Abhi very softly wiped away. He kissed her at the crown of her head and said.

“thanks for everything, just remember that things do not have any link to your talents, you have talents Akshi, such that would make you the 8 wonder in this world, that is who you are… just don’t wonder why you are, you have your answers Akshi… all you have to do is just acknowledge them and value them. I will always be there some way or the other. “

He once again kissed her cheeks and her forehead and took a step back. Akshi as if in a daze her hands had gone numb, the pain finally setting into her brain, as she let him take her wherever he wanted to.

With a last longing look, a small kiss on the forehead and a bone-crushing hug Abhi made her sit in the passenger seat.

The cold environment of the car made her feel even more empty and as the car started, she realized the small journey from school to her home was the only time she had to cry for her broken love story… as from the next day she had to find herself.

And she knew every word that Abhi had asked her to do were the ones that her life had all meant for.

She knew now why she was… she knew who she was, but the only loss of hers was that the person who made her know that was nowhere near her.

And the reason was something which would make their story look like a bubble of happiness.