Chapter 3

Here he paused, and, smiling cheerfully, fixed his lively eyes on Andy:

- I see you are shocked. Probably, you have just thought am I in my right mind, have not you? Most likely, you think I am some inhuman disgusting creature, devoid of sincere feelings? It is quite predictable. Few people in this world understand me well. You may think whatever you want, Andy, but remember: someone else’s grief cannot bring happiness, and a refusal of happiness is a betrayal of life. I think you will get used to the Academy in time. - Absolutely unexpectedly he changed the subject. – We are quite fun, but if there are any difficulties, we always have an opportunity to resolve them. Besides, I would like to warn you that in this institution the friendliness and healthy respect of pupils towards teachers and each other is most welcome. Thus, Andy, I advise you to repress your rebellious thoughts and be at least modest and respectful. Be sure, thoughtless actions will not lighten your soul at all, but on the contrary, they will weigh it down, and, besides, will make you absolutely alone. Mirror Academy instills in students coolness, reasonableness and a desire to improve their spiritual qualities, as well as develop new ones. I think you are worthy of respect, but you must always behave nobly, not just in your mood. Here grow powerful personalities, not spiritless, blinded by their inner stupidities, meaningless creatures. Maybe, you are the greatest of the students, but it doesn’t matter. Here matters only who are you inside. – He smiled again. – Well, I will not keep you any longer. In fact, everything that I have told you has no sense, but I think you will remember these words over time, but already with some understanding. Now you may be free. Belle will show you to your room.

With these careless words he grabbed some book and, singing something under his nose, began to read in place where the page was bent. It should be noted that his whole figure radiated such a sunny undivided joy; such a wonderful heartfelt warmth that it was strange to look at him.

When Andy just came in here, it seemed to him that mister Alexander is not less than forty years; but now he concluded that he is not more than twenty-five, so fresh and shine he looked. And the most amazing thing was that this joy was absolutely sincere and genuine; not false and fake.

Already standing on the threshold, the youth suddenly turned around and said grimly:

- You said that someone else’s grief does not bring any happiness, and I cannot argue with that. But Sarah is not a strange person for me. She is my own sister; she is a part of my heart.

Alexander raised the head and, narrowing his eyes, asked softly:

- Tell me, please, do you know what she is thinking about every second?

Andy shrugged the shoulders in bewilderment:

- Of course, I don’t.

- Then you have no right to say that she is a part of your heart, - answered the rector imperturbably. – You know only your thoughts, your consciousness, and our consciousness is our symbolic heart. You are you; she is she. You are not a one whole; you are the two individual beings, and each has its own thoughts, desires and dreams. And if the one will live for the consciousness of other, then he will destroy his own consciousness not even noticed that. And then he, if to speak frankly, will kill himself although he will not die physically.

- Sarah is my own sister, - repeated Andy with some fierce stubbornness. – You think I should not care that she went blind?

Alexander smiled calmly:

- Of course, not, boy. Just now you should be happier than ever before.

- How can I be happy when she is so unhappy?

- This mystery, Andy, you will have to solve while you are here.

Having said this, he leaned back in his chair and stared intently at the book. This way he made it clear that the conversation was over and, no matter how much Andy insisted, he would not say another word. The youth had no choice but to leave, burning with anger. He resolutely did not understand Alexander; his words seemed to him senseless and cruel, devoid if not of common sense, but humanity – definitely. Of course, he was amazed by rector’s incredible cheerfulness, but that, in fact, was the end of it.

Strange mysterious words did not take Andy’s heart, and, at last, after the long tedious thinking, he concluded that rector Alexander was really a little out of his mind, which explained the extravagance of his conclusions, and causeless childish joy in which, apparently, he was always. Of course, it was difficult to call this opinion impartial, but Andy was firm in it thinking this was a necessary measure for keeping from madness his own mind. And the statements, completely controversial to his own views, he could not admit worthy of serious attention.

The room assigned to him was very modest and cozy. There were a lot of bookshelves here which he had to fill, big wooden table, thick armchair, little sofa near the wall and narrow bed covered with a light blanket. Everything was neatly, tidy and conveniently, but not as luxuriously as it could be expected from such famous Academy.

The windows of the room looked out on the forest shined in the rays of the setting sun with orange reflections. Far ahead Andy saw a small glade, absolutely open and unprotected, seemed a little wounded and naked among the vast, sprawling, mighty forest. This glade made a very sad impression; it was like an embodiment of depression and loneliness. But at the same time its open space caused the feeling of relief generated by thought that not only you were alone in this world. Nevertheless, its loneliness barely could be called sad or gloomy. Rather, it radiated pride and blessed feeling of independence.

Andy stood near the window for a long time watching this lonely plain, and, finally, having felt a strong tiredness, went to bed.

Rector’s inexplicable words, strange uncommon reflections, sharp sadness causing by the thoughts about Sarah – all this put him into a heavy painful sleep, which gave him neither strength nor courage. He was in some medium condition between the sleep and the wakefulness and could get up in any minute without any difficulties. He was choked by gloomy anger, directed almost to the whole world, which he could not repress, and, honestly, did not want very much.

Andy was very unhappy, and his heart filling with menacing plans gave him no peace till the sunrise which, undeniably, came much later than it should. Any case, he thought so, and nothing could change his opinion. Early in the morning, when he got up in a rage, exhaustion and despair, Andy was determined to rebel.