CHAPTER FIVE

***

I turn on my bed trying to ignore the ringing of my phone. But the stupid darn thing won't stop ringing non-stop.

I knew I wasn't in Lagos and I knew I was not supposed to be up by 4am trying to beat the traffic and get to work.

I was in paradise.

Oh okay not paradise but close enough. I was in port harcourt and I know the city isn't half of what Lagos is but for the mere fact that I wouldn't be stuck hours on the road getting and coming back from work was enough paradise for me and the fact that I get to sleep till 6am, maybe even 7am and stroll into work 8 or 9am was super heaven.

But this darn phone wouldn't stop ringing. I just hope it had better be something important else that person would wish they didn't call me when I was enjoying my blissful moment of peace.

Sighing I roll to my side , stretch my hand to the bedside table where I dropped it and picked it up on the third ring..

My clock on the wall smiled a bright "8am " on the dot.

I sigh.

"Yes ...speak!".. I answer yawning, my eyes i close them back.

"Ma'am, couldn't get across to you last night and neither was I able to get across to the PA. His line was unreachable. "

Oh Tina. And the bloody Annoying PA.

I shake my head mentally.

"I did resend those documents you needed again just an hour ago...even the PA confirmed he got it the first time so why was I resending it..."

I sat up.

The nerve of the man. "Really?" I opened my eyes, so that fool was being a fool eh? "So why did he act clueless? Look anyways , I don't have time for corny bastards. I need a new PA, did they clear the replacement? " I needed to know.

Silence.

"Tina you are not deaf and dumb are you?"

"Well, the HR department apologises on behalf of him and would make sure he behaves but they can't do a replacement at the moment"

"What do you mean?" I couldn't believe it. Who was more important to them, me or a slow sloppy PA? This was a joke right? "Then they better look for someone else, i am not gonna be stuck in this place for a while and have an arse for a PA who doesn't know shit" I spat.

"I am sorry ma'am " she apologises.

I sigh.

"Look , i need those documents right now Tina or that PA won't be the only one on my bad side"

"Someone is bringing it by your house this morning apparently the PA would be indisposed till Monday. ."

Oh dear Lord, indisposed? Oh wait till I see him on Monday, lord save him.

Indisposed my natural fair Arse!!!!

"What nonsense!!!"' I spat again.

Now I am truly upset.

Less than 24 hours in Port Harcourt and some random asshole was making my stay annoying. Who the hell does he think he is? Infact why the hell did they assign the old fool to me?

"I am sorry ma'am" Tina repeated, it wasn't her fault , but I guess she felt apologizing would make me feel better? Well it didn't.

"Whatever!" I mutter cutting the call.

*

I hear the car drive in, but I wait, seated on my chair, scanning through channels.

*knock*

*knock knock Knock! !!

I leave the chair and head to the door, unlocking it I open to see a young man there.

"Good morning ma'am, i was sent to give these documents to you, they were faxed from Lagos, i am sorry for the inconvenience, here are the documents you needed ".. he stretches them towards me.

I take them flipping through it

"And you are?"

Not that I cared though, just wanted to know who he was.

"John, Administrative Assistant ..to your office Ma'am"

Hmm?

"Right! and My PA couldn't bring this himself why?"

"Well, " he shrugs. "I was just asked to bring them, I wouldn't know his reason"

"By him?"

"No ma'am, by my superior in the Office"

"And where is the PA?"

"It is Saturday Ma'am, no one works on Saturdays. I was making some rounds in the office because I missed a day and needed to complete it before Monday, and since he knew I would be available he asked that I come by and drop it for you ma'am."

"Right!! So the PA who is supposed to be a PA doesn't even do his job? And I wonder what he is doing working as one."

"Apparently ma'am, he probably met the criteria of one "

"How long as he been working there? He seemed abit old to be a PA?"

It didn't make sense to me.

The young man before me has a puzzled expression on his face.

"He is a new employee ma'am and he doesn't look older than any young guy, I mean I would say not so much older than me ma'am"

I frown.

"A new employee? Him? the way he looks and talks, who...infact i would like to speak to the HR, the PA is daft, slow and annoying and working with people like that would not make my work effective. I just can't. Little duties he has been assigned to he didn't carry it out, he picks me up from the airport and sounded very stupid when asked about these documents, instead he waves the placard with my name on it, and now he couldn't even try to make himself useful, they had to send another person with these documents and where is he? Indisposed!!!! This wouldn't stand...not while i am working here. They would have to give me a replacement. Ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous! !!" I flare up.

John is staring at me with a puzzled expression on his face still, I think it increased even more "i am sorry ma'am"

I stare at him..

"John is it? Would you like to take his place ? I am sure you would do well, and you seem like a nice enough fellow, young and vibrant not that old cargo that is assigned to me "

He seemed shocked..

"Well ma'am, it is not my place to accept such prepositions, whether i want it or not, plus it's the HR's department that does the employing and placing and promoting, and I am sorry ma'am, if you call him old that means you would call me what, old too?"

I was confused.

What was he saying...? That guy that looks almost 50 and with some grey hair dancing at his hairline. Or is this John blind? How could I compare him who doesn't look much older than a 29/30 to an old man to that father. .of a man?

I shake my head.

Maybe some nuts in his head were loose as well.

I smile,

"Look John, I think you politely telling me I am blind is an insult"

Aghast !!

"Dear lord no Ma'am, I wouldn't say such a thing, neither was I referring to that. I was just wondering why you think him old? "

"So those grey hairs on his head, despite barely visible isn't as a result of old age?"

"Grey hair?" John frowns.

"Yes grey hair. Are you stupid??"

"No ma'am but grey hair??"

"Yes!! Or is he one of those people who are young and have a pinch of grey to them, I know someone who had grey hairs when he was like nineteen years old, it was hereditary and by the time he was twenty five he had it full blown but he was young. Is he like one of those people? But the kicker here is his eyes and face matches his hair, so how do you explain that, and the way he talks...C'mon, was the HR blind that they couldn't see? Who employs a PA who is that old looking and slow? How would he be able to get works done on time and won't be so tired before lunch eh, I can't even imagine it, No!"

"Erm madam, seriously I am confused" he scratches his head.

I shake my head. It was no use, i would take it up with the department first thing Monday morning.

"Thank you John. Never mind, apparently there is something wrong with the men in this town, i will deal with it myself, that would be all"

They say if you want something done, you do it yourself.

"Okay ma'am, so sorry again for the inconvenience and please if you need anything I mean anything at all ma'am , please kindly let me know, I would be happy to help you ma'am, happy to"

"Right"

"Yes ma'am, I know you are new to Port Harcourt and just incase you have any difficulty just let me know, John is my name, Administrative Assistant to your office, "

"You mentioned that John, I do have a retentive memory"

"Okay ma'am, enjoy the rest of your weekend "

I nod without replying him and shut my door, locking it twice.

****

John nods his head, smiling as he watches her go back into her house and heard the door lock, he turns away and heads towards the car.

John was confused.

How could she be saying the PA is old? Was she blind or what or smoking some Lagos weed?

The New PA old ke? There was something wrong with the ma'am's eyes.

Then again...the office has been buzzing with the arrival of the new PA, who no one knows anything about him except that his name was "Brian A".

He came to the office on Monday morning, shown his spot, wasn't introduced to anybody. Their Superior had come and told them there was a new PA and that they should show him the ropes and everyone concentrate on their work.

Unlike everyone who was employed, they had them introduce themselves to everyone and give a brief bio too, but for some reason they didn't ask him to do any of that and he didn't seem particularly interested to either.

While everyone is seated having a meeting with the superior, he is seated at the back, his hand pressing his phone and he shares a private joke with himself, and for some reason when the superior calls his attention he looks at him with a raised eyebrow , drops his phone and then says nothing..

Back to the meeting he doesn't take long before he is distracting everyone again, when asked to leave, he does so without a care in the world.

There was something about the dude, they said he had a good Cv, that was why he was given the job, but it didn't make sense to any of them why he acted the way he did.

Okay, there were people in the company that no matter how they misbehaved, because they were good at what they did, the company couldn't afford to lose them. they do get penalized once or twice for bad behaviours and going against the rules of the company and eventually they sit up.

But usually that person must have worked for a very long time before they could have the mind to do something like that, but here was this new PA. .for the past five days he was just...annoying.

But the way he talks and dresses makes him not look like the average dude, so they concluded that, he some sort of a high class personality and at the same time no one knows which high class he belonged to. Plus...He seems to bullshit orders and doesn't get reprimanded. Comes to work when he does and always seem to have some air of authority about him but no one knows..

But there was something else that John hated the most about him- the dude was fine. No fine was an understatement.

He was handsome with a finesse to it., He was well built with the body of someone who works out some, and the most painful part was that since he began there , literally all the girls, single, married or taken have all seemed to change camp, flocking around him, making the dudes envy him.. and other dudes like him hate him.

Even the girl he has been trying to woo for quite some time now have suddenly started giving the pretty boy green lights and him John had been begging for yellow, blue, purple. ..even black sef him go take. But the girl was dousing his fire with sand and omo water.

He sighs

This new guy was just going to come and spoil show for all of them, especially him and he didn't like it, he didn't like it one bit.

But old??

He shakes his head entering the car. That new guy was alot of things , but one thing he wasn't was old.

John shakes his head again putting the car on drive. This new madam must have been smoking those lagos weeds. He concluded. Maybe the Port Harcourt air would clear her nostrils and give her good sight soon.

He pulls away from her drive in and begins to drive away, hitting the estate gate and speeding away ,back to his house.

He smiled.

Sha!!! His new boss was a beauty. Damn!!! the way her face was glowing even without makeup, he hasn't seen many women who could be so beautiful without it. And her body, hidden within that rope he could see the way the folds rested in pleasant places, this was what they called "V' shape. No not V. She was a huge "C" shape hips and then she had the Cinderella slim thin waist and then she had the ..the..perfect firm boobs.

No matter how a girl tries to hide her natural endowed gifts from the lord it still was visible. He had to stop himself from trying to peer through her robe..

Ha!!!

He was definitely going to be in her good graces, who knows , He might be able to get a taste of that...that ..goodness.

He licked his lips. Yes, he was definitely going to be in her good graces.

Good lord, see ukwu! !!

"Baba God bless my hustle, that kind woman to be my woman? Hain no need for heaven again na, every night we would be meeting the angels and singing praise and worship..from the front..to the back doing the skelewo dance with one leg up and junior be making her sing "hallelujah! !!" He laughs wholeheartedly driving away.

***

I see him still deep in thoughts pulling away from my drive way, I turn away from the window and head to the shower . I just wanted to make sure he didn't hang around.

There were pervs everywhere, and the way he looked at me was evident that he found me attractive.

Oh, God help him if he dares any rubbish. I didn't join some karate classes for nothing.

Women should learn to protect themselves, it's not only to scream and scream when one is being attacked, being able to kick the person's ball and give him a mean upper cut would safe our lives.

Sighing, I turn on the shower and let the water course through my body..

Done, the breakfast I ordered was already at my door, I finished eating, grabbed the documents and set down to work.

Atleast I was going to work abit before Monday, hated to walk into a place being clueless, it was very unsexy. And everyone knew confidence was the new sexy cool and I loved to ooze that aura of a complete woman. No wonder the men felt intimidated by me.

I smile.

*