Ch.1

My therapist says it is better I don't remember the accident, she said with a sad smile etched into her face "Someone your age shouldn't have to carry something so heavy, I say count it as a win." but as soon as we exited the office she slipped my mother a prescription paper and had a talk that made both their eyebrows pull together.

Turning from the conversation I pick at the wool in my sweater instead, the soft fabric pulls as I tug until it starts to unravel into a mess in my lap and half my sleeve is gone. I've started to nibble a hole into my lip.

"Marely, I hope to see you again soon." I give the doctor a stiff nod as trail behind Ellen. She's very small, petite with silky golden hair and big hazel eyes. I can easily see why dad fell for her but I can't help the strong resentment that bubbles every time I look at her. Now I'm stuck with her and her perfect family until I graduate.

We both have to use the peddle step to climb into her huge SUV. It is unnecessarily large but it has a radio system that is actually decent. "How did the session go?" I huff audibly. Ellen attempts to strike up these pointless conversations everyday but never wants to talk about any of the real issues between us.

"I'm sure you got an earful from the doctor." I snap hoping she will back off but the thing about being a bitch is its got to come from some where and my father was a literal angel.

Ellen takes a beat before she answers in a tone that sounds like she's on auto pilot.

"Doctor Mila, and yes, she is worried you may still be in shock about the accident Marely. You need to worry about things like prom and graduation, starting school back up in a couple days so you can accomplish these things. have you started looking into college's? Peter and I will have to discuss it but we will support you the best we can." I feel the familiar sting of tears in the back of my eyes.

'We will support you the best we can.' Ellen used to send postcards when she first left. From all over the world too, Greece, Paris and Japan and I never questioned how she paid for it all. Not until Miles and I found dad crying over a crumbled wedding invitation. Ellen has always been well off, but when she married Peter is quadrupled.

Dad used to work himself to the bone just to give her the same house she ripped me from a month ago. Dad said he could never truly keep her happy, his pockets weren't deep enough.

I hold my breath until the stinging fades or we get to the house but the burning just gets worse and I have to look out the window just incase a tear betrays me. Thankfully the later happens and we pull into her massive driveway of her enormous house and I bolt out the car before she can say anything else.

I make it to the front lawn where she stops me, "Marely!" She practically screams bloody murder in true Ellen fashion and all the near by neighbors turn to see. And when they see me, my tall hair and dark skin stomping away from their beloved neighbor Ellen.

It kind of hits me now, Little Sicily Ellen, goes to PDA meetings, bakes for the annual bake sale and donates all her free time to church. But haven't even scratched the surface of Ellen who grew up on the other side of the tracks of Ponder City, the same Ellen who stole and scammed her way through life until she ended up pregnant by the local drug dealer.

I turn on my heel and squint at her, trying to pick past the Prada, makeup, the suburbs and picket fence to the brief blur of the mother I knew momentarily. Where was she? I stare a little longer but she only stares back like I'm something she doesn't have time to deal with and I subconsciously pull at the ridiculously long string that used to be my sleeve from my sweater now balled up in my hand. My black T shirt bringing me comfort instead.

"I'm not in shock. I just can't remember." I don't look her in the eyes when I speak, the words come out barely a whisper. Her shiny black shoes come into view when she steps closer and they almost touch the top of my Nikes.

"Marely I-" The front door opens the same time a small red Honda pulls to the curb and a flurry of blonde bolts past us and Ellen is distracted and any chance of a moment happening between us is gone, her focus now on Ellis who is now rolling her eyes at whatever speech Ellen is spewing.

Although I feel a slight shift in my chest I ignore it and take the opportunity to escape to the room they given me here. I find sanctuary at the very end of the hallway on a twin sized bed in my dreams. Where Dad and Miles are still here laughing and getting on my nerves, the tears slip down my face in my sleep.