Chapter 6: I remember

Haze's POV

We get off from Sam's motorcycle, both laughing a little, cause the whole way here, we tried to hold the bags from not flying away.

I hand him the helmet and he takes it with a smile. We take my bags and go inside.

"Hey," Clyde says from the living room.

"Hey," we both say.

He smirks at the bags, "8 hours and you only manage to buy that much stuff?" he asks. He was probably waiting for more clothes, though I basically didn't even buy clothes. I chuckle.

"Here's less clothes than you think dad," Sam says.

I smirk and take the bags from him and go upstairs, leaving them down.

I look at the closet. He made some room for my stuff before, so that's great. I take the bag with my clothes and start ripping the price tags off and then hang then into the closet.

I look into the drawers. Here's four and two are empty, so probably for me too.

I bought lots of underwear and three bras, so that's great. I put them into one drawer and then all the stockings and tights and socks into another.

I take another bags on the bed and start organizing the stuff, some for the bathroom, some not.

"Hazy?" Sam asks.

I look at him with raised eyebrows. He sighs, sits down next to me, and takes the razors from the bag, "I'm gonna take them, if you need one for actually using it for a right purpose, then ask me, okay?" he asks, fondling my hair softly.

I smile sadly and nod. "Okay," he sighs and kisses my hair, "Can I tell my dad?" he asks.

"He's one of the only people who actually care for me, so I guess so," I say.

He smiles sadly and goes out of the room.

*Time pass, 30 minutes*

I enter the living room and they both turn to look at me. Clyde's looking at me worriedly.

"I told you in the hospital, no sad looks please," I sigh.

"You didn't tell me about your anxiety," he says.

I sigh and look at Sam, "You told him?" I ask. If he did, then Clyde should know that we slept in a same bed, cuddling.

"That I found your prescription from your pajama pants' pocket? Yeah, I did," he says.

I smirk a little, cause he's lying so hard. The prescription burned, we just got a new one today and then the pills.

I look back at Clyde, who's believing it. Probably Sam told some false details, that sounded true.

"How long?" he asks.

"Like since when?" I ask and Clyde nods.

I sigh and think about it, "10," I say.

"10 years or since 10?" Sam asks in shock.

"I was 10, when it started I guess," I say.

"And.. Do you know the reason?" Clyde asks worriedly.

"Um.. You told him about Caro?" I ask Sam and he nods. I sigh and look back at Clyde, "Her parents blocked us, we couldn't talk, she's the only friend I've ever had.. And, I," I sigh, "So the only reason to live gets taken away from you, your family is fucked up, you've never known your dad, you're starving, your stepdad rapes you and everyone hates you.. These are pretty much the reasons I guess," I say.

They're looking at me with widened eyes. I think back at what I said, and my eyes widen. I stand up, to go away, cause I don't like talking about my life actually, but Clyde pulls me back to sit on the couch. I sigh and look at my legs, feeling tears in my eyes.

"I've never told anyone about any of it. Can you please just ignore it?" I ask, still staring at my thighs.

I hear them both sighing and then Clyde raises my chin up carefully. I sigh, cause now I have to look at him and he can see my tears. I wipe them away with my hand, not caring anymore.

"Honey.. Did DAVE rape you?" he asks me.

I just nod one time and it's a very small nod.

"And did you tell your mom?" he asks.

I shake my head the same way. He sighs and kisses my forehead.

"How old were you?" Sam asks with a painful voice. I rest mt head on the back of the couch, looking at the ceiling a little, but turn my head more to him now. He looks like he's suffering from pain.

"The first time?" I ask.

"That fucking piece of shit did it more than once?" Clyde asks furiously and I can feel him and Sam both tensing up, probably from fury.

I sigh, "I was 8 I think," I say, "The first time."

They both sigh in rage, "And how many times did he do it actually?" Sam asks, starting to fondle my hair softly.

I chuckle, "I wasn't actually counting," I say.

"That many?" Clyde asks and I nod.

"Can we move on? I don't wanna talk about it, really," I say.

They both sigh, but nod a little, "Why were you starving?" Clyde asks.

"I um... You said yourself, that my mom was a different person around Dave, right?" I ask and he nods with a sad and mad face, "Well.. When I was 8," I sigh, "He raped me for the first time and um," I say and I feel so many tears falling down my cheeks, "He.. He told me how fat and ugly I was, and after that he didn't give me any food, saying that if I wanna be beautiful, I have to get skinnier and stuff," I say, crying now, "And my mom didn't say anything.." I cry, "Not one fucking word about it," I say, looking at the ceiling, all these tears running down my eyes. I wipe them away with my palms.

They're not saying anything. They're just frozen and in shock I guess. I'm not looking at them either.

"Dad?" Sam asks. Clyde doesn't answer. "You know that I like Haze, right?" he asks and I look at him in shock. He wasn't supposed to say anything yet. "Like more than like," he says, still fondling my hair.

I sigh and look at Clyde, thinking that he's mad, "It's obvious," he says.

"Great," Sam sighs, moves himself against me and pulls me on his lap, placing his arms around me. I chuckle sadly and he kisses my forehead as I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Okay.. So, you two," Clyde says and we both look at him, "Have talked about it?" he asks.

I sigh and look back at Sam. He's looking at me. "What? You said you won't tell anyone and you did, so explain now," I say and turn my head back to face the ceiling on his shoulder.

"At first.." he says and looks at me, "You're not ugly. Or fat. You're like the most beautiful person in the world, and I'm not kidding," he says and kisses my cheek.

I roll my eyes, still staring at the ceiling.

"Haze he's not kidding. That's one of the reasons I fell for your mom," Clyde says, "And you look exactly like her. Except your eyes. She had blue ones," he says.

I smile a little, looking at the ceiling, "You know.. She always yelled at me for wearing leather jackets and these high black boots and too revealing crop tops and stuff," I smirk and turn my head to look at Clyde, "She wore them herself, right?" I ask.

He smirks, "Not in school on New Rockbowl... But on Rockbowl and in the bar at the parties, yeah," he says.

I smirk and shake my head a little, looking back at the ceiling. I wipe my last tears away, "Do the Scarlet Tears know, that I'm her daughter? Cause some people on New Rockbowl even don't know it because she looked different there. She wore these pastel colors and," I smirk.

He sighs, "Some of them do.. She didn't wear all the makeup and the boots and stuff like that, that you are wearing, she wore heels basically and her hair was longer than yours, so most of them haven't seen the similarity.. So no. Most of them don't," he says, "But they will," he continues.

"So, they all know that I'm Haisley Harrison, the bitchy slut from New Rockbowl, who everyone hates," I say.

They both chuckle, "You couldn't be more different, than what the people think," Sam says to me.

"The people.. Including the Scarlet Tears. Which means that I'll never get to be one," I say.

"What? You're the Scarlet Tear princess already," Sam says and kisses my cheek.

"Not my thing," I say to him too. They both chuckle.

I turn my head to Clyde, "And.." I sigh, "Can you tell me, why my mom married Dave? Or.. Are you Ella's dad?" I ask.

"No," he says immediately and I smile a little.

"Then.. Who is her dad?" I ask.

"Dave," he says.

I chuckle in shock, "Wow. So.. What you wanna say right now, is that.. Dave made mom pregnant, she had a baby, then he made her pregnant again, though you had sex with her a few days earlier or later. And then he went away for 5 years and then came back," I say, sarcastically.

They both chuckle a little. "Okay," Clyde sighs, "Your mom and dad," he starts.

"He's not my dad," I say.

He smirks, "DAVE and your mom," he says and I nod a little, which makes us all chuckle a little, "They had a one-night stand. Your mom got pregnant, but Dave didn't care. So, I was there for your mom and helped her through it," he says and I smile a little, "But then when she give birth to Ella, Dave came back and she wanted nothing to do with me," he says.

"What?" me and Sam ask in unison and he nods.

"Anyways.. I got a girlfriend, she got pregnant, cause we weren't careful," he says.

"What a great way to tell your son, that he was a mistake," Sam says.

We all chuckle a little, "Almost everyone is a mistake," I say and kiss his cheek. Clyde smiles at that.

"But.. I was still in love with Kim, not Jen that much, so.." he sighs, "Sam was born in October, your mom wasn't pregnant with you yet," he says and I nod, cause my birthday is in August.

"Wait," I say and look at Sam, "When's your birthday?" I ask.

He smirks, "October 17th, yours?"

"August 8th," I say and look back at Clyde.

He smirks, "So basically.. It was November. We hadn't talked since she had Ella. She came to me to the trailer, where she knew, I was fixing my bike," he says and I smile.

"What?" he chuckles.

"You fix bikes?" I ask.

"Yeah, on Rockbowl, everyone has them and they're old, so I can earn a lot of money with that in here," he says.

I smile, "Okay, continue," I say, not telling them that I can do it too.

"Well.. She told me that Dave had raped her the same night," he says and my eyes widen, "I comforted her and one thing led to another.." he sighs.

I smirk, "And how long did you guys actually think that I was your daughter?" I ask, "How can you be so sure, that I'm not?" I continue.

"Dave went away, after getting to know, that your mom's pregnant again. He thought that it was from the raping, which it was," he says.

"Okay, I'm okay with the way you told me, that I was a mistake," Sam says. I smirk, not caring that I came from raping.

"Ignore him and keep talking," I say to Clyde. He smirks at Sam.

"So he went away. I was 100% positive, that I was your dad. So.." he sighs, "Are you sure, that you don't know who I am?" he asks.

I chuckle, "I live with you know. I'm pretty sure that I know who you are," I say.

Sam smirks, but Clyde stays serious, which is not normal for him, "So you wanna say that you don't remember me," he says.

I furrow my eyebrows and look at him. I remember something, "I um.. Recognized your voice. When you saved me. I'm afraid of heights, I'm not sure why I jumped, cause I wanted to die anyways, but.. I did for some reason, and I don't know why," I say.

He smiles a little, "Wait," he says and kisses my hair and goes upstairs.

I look at Sam. He smiles, "Can I try something?" he asks, his breath against my nose.

I nod with a smile, not knowing, what he wants to do. He puts his hands on the sides of my face and leans in, his eyes closed already. I close my eyes too and our lips meet.

It feels like heaven. He bites my lower lip a little, asking for entrance. I open my mouth a little and he slides his tongue in.

Fuck does that feel good. Our tongues start dancing and moving together. I've never kissed a guy. Well.. That one night I pecked his lips, but that wasn't a kiss.

We keep kissing for what feels like 10 seconds.

"Wow," I hear Clyde saying.

We both pull away and I look at Clyde and bite my lip a little while smirking.

"I go away for 5 minutes and you're making out. Nice," he sighs and sits back on the couch.

I smirk and look at Sam. He's doing the same.

"Just saying.. That was amazing," Sam says quietly and kisses my lips softly for one second.

I smile and rest my head back on his shoulder.

"Okay, you still wanna hear the story, why you two are not brother and sister?" Clyde smirks.

I furrow my eyebrows, "Ew," I say and get off of his lap. They both laugh at me as I sit back between them.

"Anyways," Clyde sighs with a little smirk and opens a photo album on his lap. He puts it on mine.

I look at the first picture in shock. That's literally me. With him. He looks so different. And I'm like a month old or something.

I keep looking at the pictures. On one I'm with Sam. I giggle quietly and keep looking. Now start coming the pictures when I'm about a year old.

I sigh and look at him. He raises his eyebrows, "Still no?" he asks.

"Are you my dad?" I sigh.

"No," he says.

I furrow my eyebrows, "Then..." I say and shake my head in confusion.

He sighs, "I thought that I was your dad... But. Dave came back when you were 5 and Ella was 6. And, he, um... Wanted a test," he says, "Your mom was different again," he sighs.

"And the test said that I'm his daughter and then he stayed? Why?" I ask.

He shrugs his shoulders, "That man was fucked up," he says, which makes me smile a little.

I keep looking at the photos. Soon here are the ones, when I'm 3. Fuck. I gasp air quietly and look at the photo of me and him.

How is it possible that I didn't remember him after Dave came? How?

I know who he is. I fucking remember this kind of him. I loved him. I called him daddy. I remember. I remember everything.