3.1 Kisses, motels and adventures

"I look into your green eyes with a hint of golden stardust in them and somehow I know this is such a big mistake. But I want to do this mistake. With you." - Logan

(Alexandra)

"Yes?" She couldn't believe herself. Was she really saying yes. Yes, it seemed so.

He was stubborn and if she said no, he would go and find someone else. Why miss an opportunity just because she wanted to be morally strong. Her bankruptcy wasn't going to go away just because she was all that.

People had always been selfish to her so that they would get what they want and it was okay if she wanted to be a little selfish. She had to be.

It was dangerous living alone in the motel and she was afraid of staying and being hungry. She had never in her life felt that. Hunger.

Now she knew how cruel it was, to not have anything to eat when your stomach was tearing itself from the inside out.

In the past, for her every birthday she had gone to Soup Kitchens with her dad to feed the homeless people, but she did it because she was kind. But now that she understood what it was like to feel hunger, and if she ever get to do it again, she would do it because she knew how much it hurt.

After Logan paid, they walked outside and Logan had a big smile on his face. He was really cute when he smiled.

"Stop smiling like that." She grumbled.

"I am just happy."

"Oh, the whole world can see that." She said as she looked up.

It was almost dark. It was that time when the light and darkness would meet at the edges and create a truly magical experience.

"Look at the sky. I love twilight hours. They always feel like they carry magic and that all good things will just be at this hour. It is the mix of hope and dejection, with a promise of more hope to come."

"Beautiful."

"Huh?"

"The sky." He said.

And it was. It was so beautiful and he was just as beautiful, too, and he looked like magic.

Tall. Dark. Handsome. Like a prince. If she wasn't so jaded these days, if she was the Alex of the past, she would have thought he was her own prince coming in charging in his Audi --or BMW or whatever car he had--, to save her.

She closed her eyes and smiled wistfully. How she wanted to be that Alex, who wore a rose tinted glasses to see the world.

But right now, this world, the whole world was naked to her, without any mask and it was so real. It was sad that this was real.

With men trying to live the next day without dying of hunger or cold, praying they get some money for another day and men trying to get married for they had a plan and could pay an insane amount for revenge to a stranger.

What a world! So full of contrasts!

"You look so sad." He whispered closer to her and she blinked up at him as he kissed her. "Don't be. You can not save the whole world."

How could he read her like that?

"I know and what is that?" She huffed and tried not to touch the place he just kissed. It tingled and she was feeling strange feelings. "Keep your lips to yourself." She gave him a glare.

"It is just an innocent kiss. The most bland one I have ever given anyone that young. I kiss my grandma like that all the time. No need to get all huffy and puffy." He said with irritation.

"First you kiss me without any preamble and now you are calling me an old lady?"

"When did I call you that?"

"You just hinted at that."

"I didn't."

"You sure did. I mean, you told me you kissed me like you kiss your grandma. What did that mean?"

"It just meant... Don't get your panties in a twist. God, you find the most annoying things to say. Is that your superpower or something?"

"You are the most arrogant, smug, vain..."

"Yeah, we get that. So are we going or are we going to stay here and list my rarer qualities?"

"Going where?"

"My house, of course."

She placed her hands on her hips as she gave him a look. "What now?"

"What about my bags? Who is getting them for me?"

"You have bags?" He looked confused.

"So... Tell me Mr. Brains, how do you suppose I have been living before you so gallantly decide to come charging in your Porsche and save the poor me? Eh?" Her voice was all sugar.

"Ok, no need to be sarcastic. Get in. And where are your bags."

He typed in the address in the GPS as she told him the address. "Can I drive it?"

"What? No, never."

"Boys and their cars. Hmm." She shrugged and got in. But she really wished she could drive it. She had a Porsche Macan, too, a gift for her birthday from her dad and she loved it so much, and she had to give it up, too, because there were so many greedy people in the world.

"It is not a car. It's Porsche."

"I know. Macan. And with panoramic roofs. Oh yes, and all customized. You must be really rich, huh? It is turbo, isn't it? 440 hp? 3604 cc?"

"Color me impressed. So how do you know all this?"

"A woman can't tell all her secrets."

"A woman of mystery, huh?"

"Pretty please, can I drive your car? I promise I will be careful."

"You are not getting your grubby hands on my baby."

"We will see." She said as she leaned against the comfort of the car and closed her eyes with a sigh, as he drove towards their destination.

"Are you kidding me?" His voice shook her awake. He was looking at her with anger and something that looked closer to concern. Oh, he would refuse it with all his heart, but she had seen traces of generosity even if he tried to hide it behind a stony mask. Not all the masks were a lie, then. "You are living here and you dared to ask so many questions? I can't believe you."

"Oh, get out and get going." She opened the door and walked inside. There were eyes on her body, almost as instant as there were mosquitos, and she hurried towards her room, and he followed closely behind her as if he was protecting her. She heard him grumbling as he walked with her.

"Bastard. She is not a piece of meat." He said to one man who kept looking at her. "I will poke your eyes out if you don't turn away right now." The man turned away and Alex chuckled.

"You think this is funny, Alexandra? Why the hell are you living in this-- in this scary, creepy place? God, these men... They are all wolves. How did you survive?" He was angry. And she liked it, she liked that he cared enough to get angry. "Let us get your bags and get the hell out of here."

"Gladly."

"Are there bedbugs in there?" He looked at the single bed pushed against the wall when she opened a rusty lock and walked in.

"No bedbugs. Thankfully."

"Little blessings. That your bags?"

"Yeah. Wait, I have got some Toiletries."

"Umm, don't bother. We will buy it from your payment."

"Hmm, okay." She shrugged as she lifted her bags and he was just standing there, looking. "Hey, a little help here?"

"Uh, yes. It is safe, right?"

"Oh, you won't die. I didn't and I have been living here for weeks."

"Who knows what kind of viruses and bacteria breeds in this place?" When she glared at him, he sighed. "Ok, give it."

She sneaked closer to him and pulled his keys away from his shirt pocket with a naughty wink. "I will hold on to it." She told him and ran away. She could hear him yelling curses, but she wanted to feel the wind in her hair and feel the thrum of the wheels beneath her fingers. She needed that. It had been too long.

"Don't you dare."

***

(Logan)

He was huffing as he reached the narrow parking area and before he could catch that little thief, she drove past him with a squeal. The roofs were open, too.

Okay. Now he knew what she was talking about not being that calm and sophisticated.

"The nerve." He gritted his teeth and waited for her, standing outside the dingy motel, praying nobody would see him standing there with three bags on him. Imagine what he was going to say if someone he knew come to him and asked what he was doing here? What would he say?

Buying myself a wife?

Not a pleasing scenario.

Finally what felt like a decade and some --he must have some grey hair right now -- she was back.

"Are you for real! You can't just do that. " He yelled at her. "That is reckless and stupid and I don't like stupid people. Don't you ever do that."

"I know and I am sorry." Her face fell. "I... I have been in a state of... Limbo... How do I say that, I felt suspended, you know, like everything in my life was on a pause and I wanted so bad to feel it. Feel alive. Just for a moment. But yes, it was really wrong of me to do that. God, I didn't know what came over me. Sorry." She handed him the car keys and turned away from him.

Oh God. Now he was sorry for yelling at her. But, he was still angry.

It was getting darker and what if she, she got into an accident or something.

He shook his head.

"What if you... You had hit something? It is dangerous."

"Yes, sorry. I am sorry. But your car is fine." She sighed. "I promise I won't do that again."

When she told that to him, he realized he wasn't worried about the car when she drove away. Not even a bit. He was worried about her.

And his Porsche was not just a car. It was his baby. So why in the hell wasn't he more worried about it?

He shook his head. It annoyed him, the knowledge that something was not right, here.

He had smiled a lot with her than he had ever smiled with Stacy or with anyone else, except his best friend. She made him laugh. She made him kiss her to comfort her when she looked sad and he wasn't the type to comfort anyone. She made him care.