Chapter 4

Chapter 4

CeeCee’s pov

I had to leave him. I couldn’t do it anymore. I deserve to be with a man that’s proud to be with me. Not someone that tucks me away like a dirty little secret. I love him, but love can only get you so far when it’s all one-sided.

I couldn’t face him. So, I took the cowards way out, and emailed him. I need to get away for a few days. The pain of not being with Hunter anymore was to much. I couldn’t pretend I was happy not even in front of my family. Plus, I didn’t want him to come looking for me.

My mother was the only one that knew about Hunter. I had to tell someone. She was happy she said as long as I was happy, she was happy. Of course, I never did tell her she was ashamed of me. I told her it was hard with him always being gone and that I was having second thoughts.

My family is very old fashioned. My father actually wants to choose the man I marry. I always believed in soulmates and true love. I thought I would find my prince and live happily ever after. Now all these dreams have been crushed right along with my heart.

Love is painful, and full of broken promises. I gave Hunter everything and it still wasn’t enough. I told my dad I entered a cooking contest that I would be gone for a little bit. He of course said yes because he always encouraged me to follow my dreams.

I wanted a love like my mother and father had. I guess love like that doesn’t exist anymore. I told my father that when I come back that I would allow him to pick my husband. Maybe he could find me someone that will want me for who I am.

My father was so happy that I told him that because he said he had the perfect man in mind for me. That he knows he will treat me well and that I would no longer have to work so hard. My husband would give me everything I could ever need.

I decided since this would be the last time I could do anything I was going to go to Paris and take this cooking course I have always wanted to. It was now or never. So, I packed a bag and got my flight booked. I told my mom where I was going since she knew about everything. She told me while I was there to have fun, but also think hard about my future.

She thinks I am jumping in to fast on having my father marry me off. She is worried about me and just want what’s best for me. She told me if I changed my mind that she would deal with my father for me, but I told her I wasn’t going to change my mind. This was for the best.

I give up on finding love. I don’t even know what love is honestly. I thought that’s what I had with Hunter but that was a joke. I tried so hard but now I am giving up. I trust my father and know he will find me a good man.

My mom took me to the airport and looked as if she was going to cry. I told her I would be back soon, but I have never left home before, so this was all new to her. Part of me wasn’t sure this was the best idea. I felt like a coward running away.

My mom looked at me and told me to go that I needed this. She was right, so I walked away from my mom with tears in my eyes and got on the plane. I knew this would be a learning experience in so many ways. One day I would look back on this and appreciate it for what it was but now it just hurts.

I was so exhausted that I hoped I could sleep through the flight. Once I got to Paris I needed to check into my hotel then go straight to my class. I wouldn’t have a chance to sleep. I wasn’t going to be there long, so I wasn’t going to miss a second.

My teacher was a world-renowned chef and she was someone I really looked up to. I couldn’t wait to learn from her. This was a once in a lifetime chance, so I guess I am thankful this has all happened. Cooking was my passion.

I guess now I will have to give all of that up. Once I get home I know my father will push me into getting married right away. In most Italian families the women stayed at home and had a ton of kids and the husband went out to work.

My life as I know it was going to change in a big way. Why did Hunter have to do this to us? Why did he have to hurt me? Right now, I just hated him for breaking me. I thought he would be the one I would end up marrying. Now I would walk down the aisle to meet a complete stranger.

How did my life get so messed up? Love is such a vicious cruel joke. I just wanted this nightmare to end. I closed my eyes and all I saw was Hunter. I felt as if I was suffocating in all of this pain. How does everyone just get over this and move on so fast? I wish someone could just let me know.

Of course, it didn’t help that I was sitting next a couple that seemed to be very much in love. They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. It made me miss Hunter even more. I really wanted off this plane, but this was a long flight. Can’t they have some respect and wait until they are alone. Love really sucks.